The Whale - 17. Part III, chapter 1

- I -

AMY

On the next day after Luke's sudden outburst and departure from the classroom, I thought that if Connor was really back, then he probably was not going to show up at school until after the holidays. To my enormous surprise, he was walking down the hallway next morning. I couldn't believe my eyes. He was actually smiling! Not his usual 'evil genius' kind of smile, but a normal, cheerful one. I shook my head. What the hell happened?! I mean, if Connor were back from Minnesota, he'd be with her right now, right? I bit my lower lip, thinking that maybe there was nothing between him and Connor, maybe it was just in my head and Roxy was right all along. The very thought made me so happy that I became slightly dizzy.

He walked by me, and then I thought that I was dreaming or something, because he looked at me, smiled briefly, and said:

"Hey!"

"H-hey..." I stuttered.

"You look good," he said absent-mindedly and walked away.

I stood there with my mouth agape, trying to figure out what the hell just happened, when Roxy tapped me on the shoulder. I looked at her. She seemed concerned.

"You okay?" Roxy asked. "You look weird."

I blinked and told her about what just happened. Roxy's eyes became almost perfectly round.

"Seriously?" she said in disbelief. "He actually said something nice to you?!"

"Yeah," I breathed. "Oh, God, Roxy... This is so unreal! I mean, what if he is getting interested in me? And what if after I lose all this stupid weight..."

"Amy," Roxy winced. "I still don't know how you can be so crazy about him... But if you are right and he is with Faith..."

"Roxy," I sighed. "If Connor was really back, do you really think Luke would be here today?"

She shrugged.

"Maybe," she said. "I mean, he probably can't wait until he graduates, so he really doesn't want to flunk anything... Plus," she added. "If she is back, then he probably got laid a hell of a lot of times last night. That would explain his good mood..."

I almost hissed at her.

"Roxy... I am pretty sure that Connor and him have nothing going on."

"Well," Roxy indecisively bit her lower lip. "Please don't hate me, Amy... But I think you were right before... I mean, people like Russell don't just change like he did for no reason."

"Roxy," I said evenly. "Don't, okay? Just don't!"

"Fine," she muttered in defeat.

I was fuming for the rest of the day. I couldn't believe it! Why would she say stuff like that? Then it hit me. Oh my God! I was pretty sure that Roxy had a crush on Luke herself! "Oh for crying out loud," the voice in my head sighed. "Amy, you are being ridiculous! What happened to your resolution, by the way?"

"I changed my mind," I muttered very softly, making sure nobody could hear me.

"Right," the voice sighed again. "Russell smiled at you, and now you think that he is madly in love with you... Jesus, Amy! Roxy is right -- people like him don't change for no reason! And believe me, Roxy couldn't care less about Russell! She is actually trying to help you; she is a good friend..."

"Shut up," I murmured. "I have a plan."

"What kind of plan?" the voice asked suspiciously, and I smiled.

"I am going to find out for sure if there is anything between those two," I whispered.

"You are going to spy on him?!" the voice asked incredulously, and I grinned.

"Just a little."

"And how are you going to do it? You don't even have a car!"

"I'll ask Roxy," I smiled again. "She'll be curious as well..."

*****

Roxy wasn't curious a single bit. She stared at me with quiet horror.

"I am not going to spy on him!" she exclaimed. "Amy, I don't care if he sleeps with Faith! In fact, I am hoping that he does!"

"What...?" I couldn't believe this.

Roxy shook her head with frustration.

"Amy," she said. "If he is with Faith and he changed so damn much, that means he really cares about her. And if he really cares about her, that will keep him tolerable until the end of the year! And I seriously don't care about the whole legal-or-not thing anymore! It's none of my business and it makes Russell happy! And Amy..." she took a breath. "Happy Russell is a good thing, believe me! Would you rather him being a total dick again? If this whole thing is true, and if it blows up in his face, can you imagine what he'll be like?! The jerk that he was before will seem like a saint! Amy, please, just leave him alone! Please!!"

"You right," I grumbled in defeat, and Roxy sighed with relief. "I am just being stupid..."

She believed me, and I quickly changed the subject. When I went for a run that night, I was thinking about my plan. "If she doesn't want to help me, fine. I'll do it myself. I'll ask Mom to buy me a car. I don't care if it's a piece of junk. As long as it moves, it's good enough. I don't care if I am being ridiculous... Love is like war. Anything goes. Plus, it's not like I am planning something bad... I just need to know for sure, that's all..."

The voice in my head started to say something, but I immediately shut it up. I ran for almost three hours that night and I felt great.

By Christmas, I was down to 150 pounds, and my mother bought me a car.