Keep Me As An Apple of Your Eye - 10. December 10

Tuesday, December 10

The Light of Love

Be exalted, O Lord, in your strength!
We will sing and praise your power.

Psalm 21: 13

"Come on, come on. You can do it.”

Todd was standing on the pool deck with a stopwatch. He had decided that they would time each other to best their own records rather than compete against each other. Todd had helped Tayloe train when they were in high school and knew what to do. Plus, he was a much stronger swimmer than Erick and it was unfair for them to compete against each other.

Erick was gasping for breath when he finished his final lap but also had a huge smile on his face. Todd dutifully wrote down the time.

“One more and we will have baseline times for you. Are you ready?”

Erick grinned, gave two thumbs up and positioned himself for the next swim: the butterfly. He knew that this was his strongest. Todd gave the signal and Erick’s body sliced into the water. Midway down the lane he got a cramp in his leg and he convulsed. He was taking in water. He felt himself sinking until a pair of arms scooped under him and brought him to the surface. Erick was thrashing about because the pain was so crippling. Todd efficiently got him on the deck and turned him on his side until he puked out the pool water he had taken in. His leg was still cramped and Todd very gently started massaging it. Erick’s arm was thrown across his eyes as the aftershocks of pain coursed through his body. When Todd felt the last quivers erode and was able to flex the leg without Erick wincing in pain, he finally stopped. He then leaned over and kissed Erick on the lips.

“Do you feel better, baby?”

Erick muttered that he thought so.

“Can I help you get up? No more swimming today.”

Erick took his arm away and Todd could see the tears in his eyes. He knew it had been a bad, painful cramp. Todd very gently helped Erick to his feet and then to the shower. Erick was favoring the leg and Todd figured that it would take the rest of the day to work out the cramp. While Erick was teaching, Todd went to the pharmacy to pick up pain relievers, vitamins and minerals that he knew that Tayloe had taken when he was a swimmer. He almost bought a pair of crutches but decided he didn’t want to make more of this than it was. He did however purchase a cane.

When he left the pharmacy, he headed back to campus to meet Erick at his office before they went to lunch. Todd saw Erick walking down the hall being assisted by a man. Todd stayed behind to watch them. When they got to Erick’s office, the man took the office keys and opened the door. When Todd approached the door, he saw the man helping Erick into his chair and then kiss him on the cheek. Todd caught his breath.

Erick jolted in his chair and the man looked up. Todd recognized him as being a football player. Todd told himself not to get upset. He pushed down the gorge of jealousy and he somehow maintained his cool.

“I see you found someone to help you. That is good.” Todd looked at the football player. “My name is Todd Reynolds, I am Dr. Erickson’s partner. I don’t believe we have met.”

Nash stepped around the desk and looked Todd in the eyes. “Hi Mr. Reynolds, my name is Nash Gillette. I am glad that you got Dr. Emmanuelson a cane. He was having a hard time walking and I couldn’t let my favorite professor fall in the hallway.”

There was no guile or guilt in Nash’s face or statement.

“Did he tell you how he hurt his leg?”

“Yes, he told me the two of you were swimming when he got the cramp. It is a good thing you were there to help or he may have drowned. You know, there is a whirlpool in the gym. That may be helpful to his leg.”

Todd stopped his racing mind and appraised the man standing in front of him. He didn’t respond to the comment about the whirlpool.

“I think I recognize you. Aren’t you on the football team?” Nash nodded. Todd stood looking at the big hunk of a boy/man. “Would you like to join us in our morning swim? We start at 7 and are finished by the time we have our first class.”

Nash smiled and said that he would like to join them but didn’t have any swimwear.

“Well, one thing is for sure. Ours are too small to fit a big guy like you. Check with the swim coach to see if the school has one you can borrow.”

“I sure will. That is really nice of you. One more thing. I hate to be a nag, but I really believe that Dr. Emmanuelson would benefit from the whirlpool this afternoon. Do you mind if I take him in for our doc to look at his leg and have him soak for a while?”

Todd looked at Nash and wondered why he was asking him the question instead of Erick. Todd pondered the question.

“Let me get his swimsuit from the car. I am glad that you are willing to help the old man professor this afternoon. Do you think when we get as old as him that we will start having those problems?” Todd looked directly at Erick and smirked as he asked the question.

“I don’t know, but I can’t think of anything greater than being like Dr. Emmanuelson when I get his age. He is perfect.”

Erick blushed and Todd felt like he was sinking into the abyss of green. He knew he could trust Erick but didn’t know if he could trust Nash.

“Let me get his suit.”

“Where did you park? We will follow you out and then I will take him straight to the gym.”

Nash quickly moved behind the desk and helped Erick out of the chair. He assisted Erick down the hallway while talking with Todd.

They reached the car and Todd got the gym bag from the trunk.

“The suits are still wet. There are only our speedos and towels in the bag.”

“That will be great. Hey, I will bring him home later this afternoon so you don’t have to come back to campus. If he can stand it, I will get in my exercise routine while he is here. He can’t spot me with his bad leg but it would be great to have him there with me. He is a great inspiration. That is, if that is okay with you.”

Again, Todd noticed the questions were coming his way.

“That would be great. Why don’t you plan to stay for supper? I have made some chicken barley soup and we can have salad and bread. It is a simple meal and may not be filling for a big boy like you.”

Nash grinned from ear to ear.

“You can count on it. This is just so terrific.” At that point he let loose of Erick and grabbed Todd and held him in a bear hug.

Todd stood and watched them walk toward the gymnasium. Erick turned his head, gave Todd a wave, and then stumbled on.

Todd kept thinking he needed to take deep breaths. The green monster was beating at the gates. He felt that he had nothing to worry about but Nash was an incredibly handsome man and he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of Erick. Would he need to help Erick put on his swimsuit? Would he try something with his boyfriend? Todd decided he wanted a different track playing in his brain and started to review mathematical equations. He chuckled thinking that would make most people sick to the stomach but he enjoyed those mental gymnastics.

When Erick and Nash arrived at the apartment, Todd had dinner ready. He had also chilled a bottle of Viognier for them to drink. Erick looked exhausted and Todd knew it would be an early night.

“How’s your leg?”

“His leg is much better. I had the doc look at it and I was right that he needed the whirlpool. The doc gave him a list of vitamins and minerals to take if he is going to swim each day.”

Todd smiled at Nash’s statement given that the question had been directed to Erick. He figured this was just Nash’s personality. The green haze was pushed back. Todd looked at the list and it was identical to what he had purchased earlier in the day. They sat at the dining room table and Todd brought the supper in. He also had a supply of pills for Erick.

“Todd, that is too many.”

“No, it isn’t. You are going to frontload the meds and then we will even it out. That way it will get into your system faster. Trust me, I am a math major.”

They all laughed.

Nash quickly went through his bowl of soup. Todd asked if he wanted more and Nash readily agreed. Todd turned to ask Erick who said that one bowl was enough. He smiled when he said that but he could have easily devoured the entire pot of soup which was a testament to Todd’s cooking. When they finished dinner, Todd lit the Advent candles and explained to Nash what they were doing.

“I’m an Episcopalian, Mr. Reynolds, so I am so glad to be doing this. I saw you guys at Bruton Parish on Sunday.”

Todd asked Nash to lead the prayer and to read the scripture. He looked like a choir boy with his expression of awe and reverence. Nash talked about his belief in the power of scripture and it had been a mainstay in his life. He then spoke about playing football in high school and being recruited for the team at W&M.

“I hope I have the power to be honest with my parents when I go home for Christmas. I think I have decided that I am going to come out. It is too painful to continue to tell lies. My brother will probably disown me and my sister will tell me that I am mistaken but I have to believe in the power of God to get me through this. I am so lonely and I can’t have a boyfriend unless I come out. I will not force someone else to live in my closet.”

“What about your parents?”

“I already know they will disown me. They are Episcopalian on Sunday morning but on Sunday afternoon and evening they go to a Pentecostal Church over in Rockfish Valley. It is far enough away from Charlottesville that their friends don’t know what they’re doing. They continue at the Episcopal Church because my dad is a big-time lawyer in town and it is important to his business that he goes to church there. He says he hates queers.”

Todd looked over and the big guy was quietly crying. Todd immediately jumped up and went around to table to hug Nash. Erick got up and was standing with his hands on Nash’s shoulders when he starting singing the Kaddish. All of the tension in the room dissipated as the three men hung together. When they finished, Erick leaned over and kissed Todd. Then he told him how much he loved and needed him.

Nash put on his jacket and was preparing to leave. He smiled and pulled a speedo from the pocket in his jacket.

“Look what I have! They found one in my size. They were going to send it back because so no member of the swim team is my size. The coach gave it to me and said he was glad that I was swimming.”

“Well, we will see you in the morning.”

One again there were hugs and then Nash asked Todd if he could kiss them good night.

Todd leaned into the big guy and kissed him on the mouth. Nash started grinning. Erick locked lips with him also.

Nash beamed. “There is power in the spirit of love. I will see you guys in the morning. Good night, Dr. Emmanuelson. Good night, Mr. Reynolds. Don’t be late.”

Suggested Music:

“I’ve Learned to Respect the Power of Love”

Performer: Stephanie Mills

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p_PJAljyx94