System of a Wolf - 7. Chapter 7

Erith pulled into his drive silently, listening to the music blasting from Blake’s headphones. Dark music slowly phased out, replaced with more upbeat music. Erith would almost guess they were kid songs, though he didn’t recognise any of them.

The car idled for a moment before he shut it off.

The mage glanced at him. Letting out a quiet sigh, Blake removed his headphones and turned back to the elf.

“How are you feeling?” Erith asked.

“Well… I no longer feel like throwing myself out of a moving car,” the man muttered. “That’s progress, I guess. This music usually helps, but I can’t just turn it on right away.”

“That’s understandable. What is it?”

“Gnoll Radio. They play songs about naughty kids,” Blake chuckled wryly.

Erith frowned in confusion. It seemed a little inappropriate for the moment, but he wasn’t about to criticize Blake’s coping mechanisms. Though he was a little unsure why someone was singing “fuck you” at max volume through the headphones. The tune certainly sounded catchy, and the elf found himself nodding along.

“Seems a little explicit for a little song.”

“I’m a bad boy. I’m not doing what they tell me,” Blake smirked.

Erith nodded slowly.

“Seems reasonable,” he agreed, opening the door. “Do you still want to go home?”

Blake nodded, and Erith closed the door. The elf stepped around the car to let the mage out.

“Well… can I get a hug before we go?”

“Not right now,” Blake muttered quietly.

“Okay. Why don’t you go pack?”

Erith led Blake to the front door. Once inside, Blake vanished into the bedroom, and the elf let out a long sigh.

He was pissed. There had been too much going on at the park, and he hadn’t caught the red werewolf’s scent. Lucky for the werewolf. But now Erith couldn’t track him down. He was feeling almost murderous just thinking about that old wolf touching Blake.

Trying to take his mind off the failed trip to the park, the elf stepped into the laundry room, getting a load started. When he got back from taking Blake home, he would get started on the yard. Blake was so excited by the idea of the pond, and Erith couldn’t disappoint him.

It would be hard, it would be expensive, but it would be the most fun he’d had since finishing the front yard. He loved taking a blank yard and making it look good. The backyard was going to be a lot of work, but Erith was going to get it done, and he was going to enjoy the look on Blake’s face when the human finally saw the fruits of their labors. Hopefully within the next few weeks.

Setting out a bunch of treats, Erith headed to the bedroom. Blake was sitting on his bed, staring at the bag as he sucked on his paci. He looked up when the elf knocked on the door lightly.

“You okay?” Erith asked quietly.

Blake nodded.

“Ready for another hug?”

Another nod. The elf crossed the room, helping Blake to his feet before wrapping his arms carefully around the human.

“I feel weird…” Blake whispered. “I want to go home, but I don’t want to leave you. I’m tired.”

Erith listened silently, his hand reaching up to gently massage the back of Blake’s head.

“He made me feel confused again. I don’t know what I want.”

“Have you called Dr. Marin?” Erith asked.

Blake shook his head.

“I don’t think he’d let me leave the pack house if I told him.”

“I don’t want you to leave,” Erith admitted, sitting them both down on the bed. “I… I don’t know if it is a wolf thing or not, but I need to make sure you’re safe.”

“Erith… was this a date?”

The question surprised the elf. He pulled away from Blake, the man letting out a weak protest as his hug ended prematurely.

“Do… do you want it to be?” Erith asked quietly, his heart pounding in his chest.

“If it means you can be my daddy…” Blake breathed, his face reddening.

A moment of silence passed, and the human pulled away.

“Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything-”

“Blake.”

Erith caught the man’s arm, studying him carefully.

“I have never actually been with anyone. Jason and Devyn certainly don’t count; I was barely their beard. I don’t know anything about… littles, or being a caregiver. Do you want to be held? To be… touched? I don’t know if I can be what you seem to want. But I am honoured that you trust me enough to ask.”

“But you don’t want to…” Blake muttered.

“Oh no, trust me, I would love to be able to take care of you. But I don’t know how, and I don’t want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you Blake.”

“You won’t,” Blake said firmly. “You would never hurt me. You like me.”

Erith chewed on his lip. The mage was acting a little more optimistic, and the last thing the elf wanted was to ruin the moment. He nodded, rubbing Blake’s hair gently.

“Yeah. Yeah, I like you a lot. You’re… you’re using your paci. Does that mean-”

“I’m trying to forget what happened,” Blake pouted. “But I can’t get into my space.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

The mage was silent, almost brooding as he thought. Erith waited patiently as Blake frowned, wondering what he had just agreed to. Knowing Blake, it could be anything from going for a run to throwing mudballs around.

“Can you help me with my diaper?”

Blake stared up at the elf hopefully, his heart pounding from nerves. This was something Dr. Marin had absolutely refused to do. It may have been a little early to ask Erith about this, but he wanted to know if the elf actually would do it.

“I thought we agreed that I wasn’t changing your diaper,” Erith frowned.

Blake’s heart dropped. He glanced down at his lap with a quiet sigh.

“Okay…”

“Look at me Blake.”

The mage looked up, an apologetic smile on Erith’s face.

“I’m just not ready for something that… physical? I can’t deal with nudity without questioning everything I know about myself. Maybe someday we can do that, but for now, is there anything else I can do to help you?”

Blake shrugged, sucking on the rubber of his paci. The repetitive action was soothing, not as soothing as his blanket, but that had been too big to bring.

“I think I just need to go home,” he said again.

He kept insisting. Blake knew how to help himself. A nice hot shower, a cup of tea, and cuddling with a plushie under his blanket helped him forget his shitty childhood every time. The mage was finished packing; there hadn’t been much to pack after all. He was just waiting for Erith.

“Should I call Dr. Marin to pick me up?” he asked.

“No, I can take you to the pack house,” Erith said. “Are you ready?”

Blake nodded silently, pulling his bag over his shoulders. His headphones went back on, and the man stepped toward the door.

“Before we go… can I kiss you?”

The mage froze, staring at the elf in front of him. Slowly, he nodded, pulling the paci out of his mouth. His eyes closed as Erith stepped forward.

Lips brushed over his forehead, and Blake’s eyes opened in surprise. He looked up at Erith in confusion, but the elf was already turning away.

“Okay, let’s get you home.”

“That… that’s it?”

He didn’t know what he had been hoping for. Erith was almost skittish around him.

“Yeah?”

The mage followed Erith out of the room, paci back in his mouth. He sucked on the rubber silently, contemplating what had just happened. Was it that his breath was bad? He hadn’t been able to brush that morning. He couldn’t even remember if he’d had breakfast that morning either, so maybe he had brushed his teeth and forgotten.

As he got into Erith’s car, Blake looked at the elf. Was it him? Erith asked for a kiss. Had Blake misunderstood him?

“What’s wrong?” Erith asked, glancing at the man.

“I thought you were going to kiss me,” Blake murmured.

“But I did,” Erith frowned as he pulled out of the drive. “You just dealt with something extremely triggering. I wasn’t about to kiss you on the lips; you needed something gentler.”

“Erith, don’t you think I can be responsible for what triggers me?” Blake asked quietly.

He pulled out his paci, rubbing his head tiredly.

“Look… I know I have mental issues, I know I act young, and I know most people think that I can’t think for myself. But I know myself. I know what I can do, and if I misjudge myself, I can deal with it. You asked to kiss me, I knew, or I thought I knew, what you were going to do, and I said yes. Don’t you trust me to know my limits?”

Erith was silent as he drove, his eyes glued to the road. Seconds passed, and Blake deflated. The mage turned to stare out the window, his entire body slumping.

Time lost meaning, seconds stretching out into minutes that might as well have been hours. Finally, as they approached the pack house, Erith spoke up.

“You’re right. I’m sorry Blake. I’m doing everything I can to make you comfortable. It was never my intention to actually kiss you, because I was worried it would hurt you. I didn’t think about what you wanted, only what I thought you needed, and that was wrong.”

Blake let out a quiet sigh, forehead pressed against the window.

“But you also have to think about me. I’m not comfortable with a lot yet. You’re asking me to move fast, and I don’t think I can do that,” the elf added. “I wanted to comfort you, not claim you Blake.”

“But… but I want you to claim me…”

The car pulled into the pack house in silence. Erith shut off the car before he turned to look at the mage.

“I claim no one,” the werewolf said quietly. “You are not mine. You don’t belong to anyone.”

“I want to be yours,” Blake whimpered. “Erith, I like you. I feel safe around you. If anyone was going to claim me, I’d want it to be someone who could take care of me like you did last night.”

“Fine. If you want me to do this, to be your caregiver, then you need to tell me what you want, what you need,” Erith said firmly. “I’m going to walk you to your door, and then I’m going home. I’ll call you after the full moon, and if you still want this, I need to know exactly what you want from me.”

“Okay,” Blake smiled.

It was a yes. A convoluted yes, but…

“Does this mean you’ll kiss me?” he asked hopefully.

Erith sighed quietly. A moment later, a hand was pulling the mage toward him. Lips met softly, and Blake’s eyes closed as he melted under the elf’s touch. Gentle, caring, but with a hint of strength behind it… he wanted more. But Blake knew not to push his luck. He pulled back after a second, smiling at Erith.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

A soft growl escaped the elf’s lips, Erith leaning forward again. His eyes seemed almost predatory, and Blake shivered at the sight.

“Erith?”

Their lips were barely an inch apart. He could feel the stuttered breath from the elf, hot air flowing across his mouth. Erith backed off suddenly, blinking heavily.

“Sorry about that…” he muttered, opening the door. “Come on, let’s get you inside.

Blake followed him shakily, trying to figure out what that flash had been in the werewolf’s eyes. He said he wanted to be Erith’s… but if the elf was unstable, Blake wasn’t sure he actually did want it.