Ex gay husband - 8. The kiss

While strolling downtown, Mark started squabbling with Colin for fun. Eventually I, broke off the fight by repeatedly poking Mark what gave Colin a slight advantage. Later, Mark would note, that I went to bat for Colin conspicuously the whole evening and defended him, which I hadn't noticed. For Mark, that was a reliable sign that he headed in the right direction by trying to matchmake us, and just had to stay on task.

∞

Just as the days before, Colin and I texted in the morning to settle when and where to meet this day. Colin informed me that Mark was already gone to the bathroom, and we shouldn't reckon on him for the next half an hour. Additionally, Colin continued, Mark already had plans for today. And Colin didn't like them. I asked him, what Mark had in mind.

"Shopping," he replied.

We'd been in Wormland with Mark the first day. During that time, Colin and I mostly chatted while Mark wandered through the aisles of clothes. Eventually, he had found dark gray, slightly reddish trousers, but wasn't sure if he liked them when fitted them on. We assured him, that they suited him, but he just replied that we had no notion of fashion. Instead, he sent a picture of them to Leander and asked for his opinion. Leander said the same, so he bought the trousers.

Colin didn't want to go through this again, and I could see this. Mark wouldn't even be alone today, since he convinced one of their landlords to join him, so I suggested: "Let's have an alternative program. Just the two of us."

Colin was uncomfortable with telling Mark that he wouldn't join him today. I told him, he could tell Mark that it was my idea, and he couldn't say 'No'. I continued by asking him, what he'd like to do instead.

"You may well ask! Something I don't have to spend my whole monthly wage on," was his answer.

"Well, let me put it this way, then:," I tried. "How would you imagine a Mark-free day with your husband?"

"I have no clue."

"If you like, we can do it a little different this time: You just get here if you like, and we take it from there."

Colin agreed, and I explained to him how he could get to my place using public transportation.

∞

About half an hour later, I picked him up at the bus stop, and we walked back home, which wasn't far. Since I hadn't had any other sitting accommodation beside the bed, we sat down there and a moment later, I handed my husband a cup of tea.

Do you know the moment, when your mind develops the current situation further and becomes a "What if" scenario, in which you aren't interested in the slightest? When I sat down next to Colin, out of nowhere I had the thought, how it would be like to kiss him. Until today, I have no idea, how that thought came up. One thing is for sure: I didn't want to kiss him. I had no interest in that kind of interaction with him. So I discarded that thought. We talked, and I cooked couscous for the two of us along the way – all the other days we had eaten out.

"I quite like it right now," Colin noted at some point

"Mhh?"

"Today I saw more of Hamburg than the days before with Mark, and today was the first day that wasn't stressful and overly structured."

While we were eating, Mark texted us, asking what took us so look and informing us that he was already waiting. That killed the eased mood for Colin. We replied that we were right in the middle of our meal, hastened to finish it and hit the road downtown where Mark was eagerly awaiting us and asked us with a conspiratorially knowing look: "Well? What did you do there for so long? Alone?