Coming of Age - 3. Losing My Virginity With Craig

The next seven days crept past with glacial speed. Every night was like an endless wet dream of sex with Craig, interspersed with a recurring nightmare where I wanted him so much it hurt but was terrified he had changed his mind or, worse, was really fucking with me in order to expose me as a queer, and my life would be ruined.

The only way I was able to fall sleep was if I jacked off two or three times. His face and cock appeared in each fantasy when I came. In my imagination, I pictured all the couples I ever saw in Hustler, only the lovers were Craig and me. We sucked and fucked in every room of the house, plus the pool and up in The Hide.

Waiting for the weekend was agony. Every day, I got up at six in the morning, swam laps in our pool for an hour, jacked off in the shower, ate breakfast, and left for school at 7:45. I don’t fucking remember anything from any class the whole goddamn week, my mind was roiling with sex thoughts, fear, guilt, and a hundred other unwelcome emotions.

There were two swim meets that week, and I sucked at both of them, taking two second places on Monday, and a first and a third on Thursday. None of it put my qualification for State in jeopardy, and Coach Brooks assumed I was holding back so I wouldn’t peak too early.

“You’re doing fine, Bruce. Keep pacing yourself.” He squeezed my bicep, but his touch didn’t give me the usual thrill.

I don’t care if Coach is queer or not—Craig and I are, and it’s fucking fantastic!

In the showers after the meet on Thursday, Shep confronted me. “What the fuck happened to you? You never swim like that.”

“Saving myself for the Big One, I guess.”

“Shit! I wish had that luxury. I have to bust my goddamn balls every time to keep up with you, and I’m still in fucking third place.”

“Yeah, but you’re still going to State,” I gave him an encouraging smile.

“Right. And when I get there, I’m gonna kick your ass!”

“In your fuckin dreams, Shep!”

I cuffed him on the shoulder and stole a quick peek at his semi-hard cock. It was seven inches long or more, but I found I wasn’t as interested in it as I was before, because I was going to have Craig’s this weekend, and it didn’t matter what size it was.

Craig and I weren’t in any classes together because I was in the advanced placement program, while he was in regular college prep. We even had different lunch periods. Whenever I passed him in the hall or saw him through the door of a classroom, my body thrilled with desire and I almost got hard right then and there.

We made eye contact several times, and once he quickly peeked around to see if the coast was clear and blew me a little kiss. Shit! If he doesn’t quit teasing me, I’m gonna cream my fucking pants!

And of course he faithfully attended all my swim meets, including the ones off-campus. He cheered for me and gave me a thumbs-up at the end of each race, even when I didn’t come in first. His sexy smile and enthusiastic nods kept me in a constant state of lust for him.

I wondered if I should call him, but I couldn’t think of what to say—“I can’t wait til you come over and we have sex?” Nah!

In one way, this was building me up for the thrill of being naked with Craig again, and for the first time there wouldn’t be any reason to hold back or stop what we told each other we wanted to do.

At dinner on Thursday, Mom regarded me with concern. “Is everything all right with you, Bruce? You’ve been tense and out of sorts all week.”

“Sorry, Mom. I didn’t realize it showed. It’s just the stress of State coming up.”

My Dad broke in, “If you aren’t ready by now, you’ll never be.”

I thought, No shit, Sherlock. But I said, “I’m sure I’m ready, Dad. It’s hard to wait for it all to happen.”

“The important things in life are worth waiting for. You need to learn patience.”

“Yes, sir.” I lowered my head and concentrated on the gourmet meal Mom had prepared. I’ll be so fuckin glad to be at Stanford in the fall, far away from this kind of needling bullshit.

Mom quickly changed the subject, “Well, Bruce, you looked handsome in the green shirt you wore today.”

Dad was concerned, “I thought you had to wear uniforms at that school.”

“We do, Dad, but Thursdays are pep rally days, so we’re more casual. I wore green because it’s one of Stanford’s school colors.”

“Hmm,” was all Dad replied.

After what seemed like forever, Saturday arrived at last, and Craig drove up right after breakfast. We did our best to watch TV and play Nintendo in the family room for a while, as we both struggled not to show the slightest hint of what we were planning to do. But the sexual tension between us was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

We played Donkey Dong in silence, only grunting when we won or lost points. I stole glances in his direction, and he was either concentrating on the fucking game or trying his best not to look back at me for fear he’d give away what we were up to. Fine with me, buddy-boy. We’ll both be naked and hard in a couple of hours, and that’s when the real fun starts.

Around 11 AM, Craig sighed and craned his head backward, peering into the kitchen, where Mom was cooking up something that smelled delicious for our lunch. Nudging me on the shoulder, he suggested in a quiet voice, “Want to head out behind the garage?”

I knew immediately what he meant—did I want to go smoke weed with him?—and of course I did.

I turned off the TV, and we stood up and stretched. “Mom? Craig and I are going outside for a while.”

“Well, don’t be long, boys, lunch will be ready in an hour.”

“OK, Mrs. Hutton,” Craig answered. "We'll be back in plenty of time." We hustled out through the sliding glass doors and high-tailed it for the garage.

After filling and lighting the marijuana pipe and inhaling a deep toke, Craig passed it to me, and I sucked the smoke in greedily. I realized I was driving myself crazy worrying about what might happen. In my imagination, good things and super-fucking-bad things were equally possible. My stupid hand shook when I handed the pipe back to him.

Goddammit! I’m right where I always dreamed of being, and I’m too fucking scared to say anything about it to him. Maybe I’m not queer, and this is the proof. Or maybe Craig’s curious to see how far I’ll go, but he won’t actually go through with it when the time comes. Shit! My stomach is churning and my head is spinning. I never imagined sex could be so fucking complicated.

I turned to face Craig. I wasn’t sure how—or whether—to bring up the conversation from Sunday evening as he got into his car.

He said we should figure out what was going on between us, but was that because he wanted to do it, or so he could “out” me or break up our friendship?

I began tentatively, “Uh...what we talked about last week—”

“Shit, yeah! I’m fuckin ready!” Craig’s enthusiasm and eagerness took me by surprise, but I was relieved he hadn’t changed his mind. I let out a sigh of relief.

“Me too,” My voice quivered. I was horny as fuck and scared shitless. “So, I figure we’ll wait until bedtime tonight—”

“Fuck, no. I want to do it right now!” Craig was miles ahead of me. “I was scared shitless to tell you, but I’ve been thinking about this and wanting to do it for a hell of a long time, so the less talking and the more sex, the better.”

My heart skipped a beat at those words.

So, Craig does feel the same way I do, and he isn’t going to hate me for being queer, or whatever the fuck I am. What a fucking dope I’ve been!

“I’m glad to hear that. I was afraid—”

“Afraid I was chickenshit? Fuck that!”

“No, just that you might want to think about it some more, or maybe wait.”

“What the fuck would we wait for? We both want to do it—we decided last week, and now it’s time to put the pedal to the metal...or the cock up the ass!”

We roared with laughter. I couldn’t say whether it was Craig’s eagerness to have sex, or the effects of the weed, but it didn’t matter, because I was relaxing and breathing normally again.

Craig turned to me with a serious expression on his face, “Are you trying to tell me you don’t wanna do it? ‘Cause if you don’t...well, we can jack off a few hundred times.”

In response, I laughed and shook my head, “Nooo. No second thoughts here. I only wanted to make sure you were sure. I keep kicking myself that we were both thinking the same goddamn thing all this time, and neither of us ever said or did anything about it. I’m glad we’re gonna do it, and I’m so fuckin ready my cock hurts!”

“Mine, too, so what about right now, right here?” Craig winked at me and raised an eyebrow.

“Hell, no!” I squealed in shock. We were sitting on the ground behind the garage, out of sight of the house but still too close for comfort. “Mom’s home, and she’s not going anywhere this afternoon.”

Craig’s grin revealed he was fucking with my mind. “Well, what about up in The Hide?” He was talking about our little one-room hunting cabin in the woods about a mile up the mountain from the house. We often went there to smoke dope, drink beer, and jack off together.

“OK. After lunch.”

Craig nodded enthusiastically, and I leaned back on the garage wall and relaxed, lost in thought.

Craig is my best friend. We've been jacking off and horsing around for three or four years now. When he slept over, we get naked and look at Hustler, shooting our cum all over ourselves and even tasting it. We take long, intimate showers, soaping each other’s backs. We're all but gay. “All but” because neither of us has ever had sex with anybody. That's now about to change.

For some reason, I was still unsure about doing something openly “queer,” but I couldn’t say exactly why. I’ve had the hots for Craig for years, and now I was sure he felt the same way.

We kind of joked about it a lot, saying shit like “fuck you,” “blow me,” and “eat my ass,” but we didn’t have the balls to try to take it any further.

We were so convinced by all the other guys that being gay was something wrong, and the last thing we wanted was for anyone to think we were.

It isn’t fucking fair—what we do together in private is nobody else’s goddamn business. We aren’t hurting anybody, and if we're both enjoying it and not taking advantage of each other, where's the harm in that?

Craig tapped the ash out of his pipe, ground it into the dirt, and got up. He helped me to my feet. “Let’s not keep your Mom waiting.” He added lasciviously, “and then I expect you to suck my fuckin cock, and that’s only the beginning!”

I laughed with delight, and we hustled our butts back up to the house for lunch.

Craig and I walked into the kitchen, where Mom was bent over a steaming pot. When she stood up and turned to face us, she looked sideways at me and wrinkled her nose.

Oh, shit! She smells the weed on our breath.

But she just told us to go wash up and lunch would be ready in five minutes.

“Did you see your mother’s face when we came in?”

“Fuck yeah. I bet she could tell we were smoking weed out there.”

“Do you think she’ll do anything? Goddamn! You think she’ll tell my parents?”

“No, I think Mom’s cool with it. I kinda think she would prefer we did shit like that at home, where we aren’t driving anywhere and not hanging with a bad crowd. I’m pretty sure she won’t mention it.”

And she didn’t.

My mother made spaghetti carbonara with pancetta and meatballs, a little heavy for mid-day, but it was because she and Dad were going to a dinner dance at the country club that night.

Natalie was spending the weekend with a girlfriend from college, so Craig and I would be on our own for dinner—and alone in the house until my parents came home late.

Mom always left something in the fridge we could microwave, but I guess she wanted to give us at least one hearty meal for the day.

The three of us chatted pleasantly while we ate. Mom asked Craig how his parents were.

“They’re doing fine, Mrs H, and my older brother, Glenn, is home on leave from the Marines.”

“I imagine you and Glenn have a nice time together. Brothers always seem to enjoy a close connection. I’m sorry Bruce never had a brother, and that’s why I’m glad you two are such close friends.”

Craig blushed. “Um, yeah, I guess so. Mostly Glenn and I play video games or go for a run. He does it to keep in shape, and it helps me with strength-training for track.”

The heavy lunch made us both sleepy, so Craig and I excused ourselves and went up to my room. We kicked off our shoes and flopped onto my bed. My body was already longing for what we were going to do later.

As we climbed into bed together, Craig was hopeful, “Got a new Hustler yet?”

I shook my head, disappointed. What the fuck? Is jacking off all he wants to do?

“Then I fuckin need a nap after the giant lunch your mom made us!” Craig rolled over, turning his back to me. I lay flat on my back, staring at the ceiling, confused.

Is Craig really going to do what we talked about? If so, why the fuck is he taking a goddamn nap?

Soon, I learned the reason. I fell sound asleep, dreaming yet again about sex.

About an hour later, I groggily opened my eyes. To my surprise, I found I had somehow rolled onto my side and draped my arm over Craig’s shoulder. The rest of my body was pressed tight against his and I was sporting a throbbing hard-on.

His musky masculine scent mere inches from my nose drove me fucking wild. The heat from his body, nestled into the curve of mine, was like a roaring inferno. His slow, steady breathing meant he was still asleep.

Something told me I ought to roll over and create some space between us, but I was turned on by being this close to him. Instead, I snuggled a little closer against my best bud.

“Is that your fuckin hard cock up against my ass?”

I jolted, rolling onto my other side so Craig couldn’t see my erection. “I guess it got chilly in here.”

“Bullshit. You were dry-humping me,” he laughed.

He rolled over toward me and put one hand on my shoulder, pulling me onto my back. It felt so good to have him touching me that I had to let him do whatever he wanted.

“I get that your mom is downstairs, but what if we were real quiet?”

“I dunno. She might want to check on us.”

“Would she just walk in?”

“Fuck no. She’d knock on the door and ask if we needed anything, or some shit like that.”

“So—” Craig’s voice told me he was ready to do it right now.

“I guess we could—” I started to say more, but Craig rolled over on top of me and pressed his lips tight against mine. His erection ground down on my own through our clothes. I raised my arms and hugged him eagerly, sucking his tongue into my mouth.

Our first kiss! Goddamn! It’s wonderful.

His mouth tasted of the lemonade from lunch. His tongue pressed forcefully, exploring every inch of my mouth. I tried my best to return the favor. My heart was pounding and I forgot to breathe for a while.

Craig pulled back and smiled at me, “Was that as good as you thought it would be?”

“It was fuckin amazing! Why oh why did we never do this before?”

“Because we’re a couple of pansies who were afraid to try what we really wanted to do.” He tugged me back into a second kiss. Our bodies writhed with desire.

When our lips parted again, I gazed up into his deep brown eyes and ventured, “What do you want to do?”

He grinned mischievously. “Well, how about you give me my first goddamn blowjob?”

My eyes went wide with surprise and delight. “My pleasure, motherfucker! Gimme that big cock of yours!”

He rolled over onto his back and unbuckled his shorts and slid them down below to his thighs. I rose up on my knees at his side and bent over him.

Hooking my thumbs into the waistband of his briefs, I gingerly inched them down, allowing his hard cock to slap up against his belly. It pulsed with his heartbeat. My own blood pounded, and I reminded myself to breathe.

Craig pulled his T-shirt up and over his head and pushed his shorts and briefs down to his ankles.

I had seen my best friend naked dozens of times, and his cock was hard whenever we jacked off, but this time it was different—way different!

He looked up at me, and his expression was tense, eager, and impatient for what we were going to do. His body was tight with need, and his cock was sticking up a couple of inches above his belly. There was no doubt in my mind that Craig desperately wanted sex—now—and he wanted me to do it with him.

I grasped the base of his hard-on between the thumb and forefinger of my left hand and pointed it straight up. I lowered my mouth to his pulsing prick and gave it a tiny kiss. I placed my right thumb against his foreskin and began sliding it up and down.

Craig arched his back and moaned with pleasure, “Ahh, fuck!”

Despite all the times I had seen him hard when we jacked off together, touching his beautiful penis and having my face this close to it set my heart pounding.

He reached down and lightly grasped my wrist, guiding the motion of my hand. “Just like that, Bruce. It feels fuckin great.”

As I jacked him, a drop of precum appeared from the slit at the top of his cock. Without thinking, I stuck out my tongue and licked it off. It tasted like a watered-down version of his cum I sampled for the first time last weekend.

I smiled up at him. “Goddamn! That tastes good.”

Craig smiled, “We aim to please.”

I started using my tongue to repeat the motions of my thumb, licking up and down his hard cock, stopping at the top to lap up any additional droplets of precum that appeared.

Craig moaned, drawing my attention. He had lifted his head and was watching what I was doing. I had never seen the expression on his face—a combination of raw lust and deep affection for me. More than anything in my life, I wanted to give him the pleasure he was yearning for.

“Remember, not a sound!” He nodded and blew me a kiss.

That made me want to kiss him again, so keeping my hand wrapped around Craig’s cock, I slid forward toward his face. I pressed my lips against his and slipped my tongue inside his mouth, making him smile. He responded by matching my passion with an equal amount of his own. Our second kiss was better than the first, and I wanted more and more of them.

As we kissed and I continued to jack his cock, a chill ran through my body. Holy fuckin, shit! I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.

I thought about how Craig and I talked endlessly about sucking and fucking. We only had the pictures in Hustler to go on, plus the bullshit guys always joked about in the locker room, but neither of us had ever tried anything for real.

What if I did it all wrong? What if it didn’t feel good and he didn’t like it? But after my moment of panic, I realized Craig didn’t know how it was supposed to be done, either, so he wasn’t likely to complain!

I removed my mouth from Craig’s and kissed his chin, his throat, his chest, his nipples, his abs, and his navel. Finally, I got to his hard-on, resting on his belly.

“Yeah, Bruce. Fuckin go for it. Suck my goddamn cock!”

I wet my lips and lightly kissed the tip of it, then licked it again and slid my tongue down his hard shaft. I opened my lips and took his cock in, sliding his foreskin down with my tongue and using it to tease all around the head.

I’m in heaven. The feeling of his hard cock in my hand and mouth are telling me all I ever needed to know about my sexuality. This is it—the kind of sex I was made for, that I’ve been dying for—and it feels so perfect that all my doubts about myself, Craig, and sex just flew out the goddamn window.

Craig groaned softly, “Oh, shit. That feels fuckin good.”

I paused, fearful someone would hear us, but the house was empty, except for Mom downstairs in the kitchen. If that was all the noise he was going to make, I figured we would be safe.

I changed my position so I was kneeling between Craig’s knees and holding his hard dick straight up into the air. I lowered my mouth and went down on it until I buried my nose in his thick black pubes.

With his youthful manhood all the way down my throat, I swallowed, pressing my tongue hard against his swollen member, and moving it back and forth to massage his cock.

“Unh,” Craig moaned with pleasure and then whispered loudly, “That’s fuckin amazing, Bruce!” It occurred to me that even though I wasn’t sure what to do, both of us were loving it!

Encouraged by his reaction, I moved my head up and down, fast and then slow, sometimes wrapping my tongue around his dick and other times pressing it downward, so his cockhead only made contact at the back of my throat.

“Play with my balls,” Craig ordered. With his cock still deep in my mouth, I lifted them in the palm of one hand. His testicles were heavy and bigger than mine, and they hung down at least an inch past his cock when it was soft.

“Suck on them!” he demanded, a little louder.

“Shh, goddammit!” I hissed at him and hesitantly sucked one ball into my mouth. I worried it might hurt him, so I drew it over my tongue gingerly.

Craig responded by lifting his ass, so I could take his nut deeper. I continued to jack his cock with my hand while I turned my attention to his other testicle.

“Suck ‘em both together!”

Not sure at first if it would work, I was surprised to find I could fit both of his balls into my mouth at the same time. I wasn’t able to do much with them, because they filled me up completely, but I could tell he was enjoying the sensation.

He croaked hoarsely, “Now suck my fuckin cock till I come!”

I carefully released his spit-soaked nuts and turned my attention back to his dick. I increased my pace, and Craig started fuck my face by thrusting his ass upward. He was now in charge, and I was along for the ride. I was fucking loving it.

He rammed it so far I gagged and had to pull off to cough and swallow. Once I recovered, I wrapped my fist around his hard-on and let him resume face-fucking me. This way, I could control how deep his thrusts went and avoid gagging on his dick.

Craig put one hand on the back of my head, guiding it down while he rapidly drove his cock deeper into my mouth. His breathing became rougher and faster until he pressed hard on my head and rammed all the way to the back of my throat.

“Shit! I’m gonna nut!”

It was so unexpected I almost choked on it, but I knew at that moment I was truly pleasuring my best friend, and it was clear he was loving it.

Without any more warning, my mouth was flooded with his hot jism, and I hungrily swallowed. I’m not sure how many times he came, but I savored every delicious drop.

Spent and breathing hard, Craig lowered his ass and removed his hand from my head. I took my time, sucking his cock dry and swallowing the mixture of my own saliva and his salty-sweet seed. When it was all gone, I lifted my head reluctantly, feeling his softening member slip out from between my lips.

I scooted up the bed to lie next to Craig. He turned his head to me, “Kiss me, Bruce.”

I complied passionately. He thrust his tongue deep into my mouth, and I realized he was going for a taste of his own cum. I wondered if it tasted the same to him as when he jacked off.

We lay there in silence for a long time in the afterglow, breathing quietly and feeling the combined heat of our bodies.

Craig spoke with a gentle voice. “It’s your turn now, Buddy-boy.”

“Are you sure?”

“What do you mean? You think I don’t want to give you what you gave me?”

“No...I just—”

“Let me guess. You figured you were a faggot, but I was just a straight dude out for some fun.”

I hesitated. “Well, that’s a possibility...I guess. Or—”

“Or fucking what?” He turned and glared at me.

“Or we’re both fags, but you’re a top and I’m a bottom.”

“Don’t you think we might be a little too new at this to figure that shit out?”

I relaxed and smiled. “You’re right! How the fuck would we know, when we’ve never done this with anybody before?”

I rolled onto my back and pulled down my pants and briefs. My cock was already hard.

“Now, that’s more like it.” Craig leaned over me and took hold of my hard-on. He opened his mouth and went down on me all the way, and he didn’t choke at all.

“Shit, man. How do you do that?”

“Natural talent, I guess.” We both laughed.

“So keep using your fuckin natural talent on me. It feels fantastic.”

He returned his attention to my erection, which was aching for the sweet feel of his lips and tongue wrapped around it.

After a minute or so, Craig removed his mouth and stroked my dick. He licked all around the base of it and drew one of my balls into his mouth. He sucked on it, sliding it in and out. The feeling was amazing.

“Just like that. I love it.”

I was nearing the edge, so I put a hand on the top of his head and guided him away from my ball.

“If you keep that up, I’m gonna come.”

With a grin, he winked at me. “I bet you can come two or three times before I’m through with you.”

That had never occurred to me, but I nodded, “I fuckin hope you’re right.”

He resumed his attention to my balls, bathing one and then the other in his hot wet mouth while he stroked me. It felt so good I knew I couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Ahh, shit!” I exclaimed as I shot my load. When I was done, Craig scooted forward and licked my belly clean.

“Come here and kiss me,” I wanted to taste my cum in his mouth, the way he had done. I was not disappointed.

“Think you can come again?”

“Not right now, but it won’t be long.” I pulled him into a warm snuggle and we rested in each other’s arms, almost falling asleep again.

After a minute or two, I rose up on one elbow and kissed my best friend tenderly on the lips. He smiled back. “I hope you realize I enjoyed that a hell of a lot, Bruce.”

“I kinda got that impression from the way you fucked my face and sucked my cock...and my balls.”

We roared with laughter. Then we laid still. My mind was racing in wonder at how everything between us had radically changed in, what, fifteen minutes?

We shared our first kiss, I gave Craig his first blowjob, and he gave me mine, kind of. We went all the way—we had sex! Two guys—no, two men, two best friends for years, we had been naked together a thousand times. But this time we did what we both were secretly wishing to do for a long time, and it turned out perfect in every way.

The memory of how fucking fantastic it was to hold Craig’s cock deep in my mouth, to kiss it, to massage it with my tongue, and to swallow his flood of semen while he experienced the thrill of coming—all this was almost unreal. And yet, to my delight, it was not a fantasy this time—it was very, very real.

We not only stepped over a goddamn line, we fucking broad-jumped over and beyond it by a mile! After all my worry, it never occurred to me to think about whether or not we were queers. It doesn’t matter—we are...lovers, and no other name for it can make any difference to us.

I was amazed at how much Craig knew about gay sex. He had guided me to pleasure him, showing me how to do things I never imagined, and he did shit to me that set me on fire. It was hard to believe this was his first time, but I knew he would have told me if he had ever done it before.

I wonder how he knew about all that shit? Maybe...no, I won’t ask him. He probably saw it in a magazine or heard somebody talking about it. Best not to spoil the moment with questions—just be glad he did it and it felt so great.

After a few minutes, Craig raised up on his elbow and cackled, “Let’s get our asses up to that Hide of yours. I want you to come again, only this time while you fuck me, and I’m gonna make one hell of a lot of noise!”