Dark Star - 1. Chapter 1

“Told you they’d be here,” Dwight whispers to us.

I don’t often hear him whispering. Dwight’s voice is loud and resonant, and he rarely cares to lower it, whatever the reason. Like an evil version of Harry Potter - never afraid to drop an F-bomb in front of a teacher while the class freezes in fear. It amazes me that he’s decided to keep it quiet just because we’re in the school library. At least there’s one sacred thing in his life. Or maybe he’s afraid that every librarian has a gun with a silencer under the counter to deal with noisy intruders.

“You were right,” Jim whispers back. “Aren’t they adorable?”

Dwight shakes his head with amusement. “Do you believe they’re in our year? Why do they act like they’re fucking twelve?”

“They don’t look much older either,” Clyde adds expertly. “Let’s see what they’re up to.”

“Watch Tyler. He wants to join them,” Dwight points at me, and the boys giggle, covering their mouths.

Shit, I’ve been staring again.

Look, I find playing D&D at sixteen as hilarious as the next guy. Especially the way Rufus, Dale, and their two lesbo girlfriends, Emily and Shawna, do it - swinging imaginary battleaxes and making complex gestures while casting fireballs. All in almost complete silence - it’s the library, after all - but clearly, they would sing battle cries and make fake explosion sounds if they could. As hilarious as it looks, nothing can stop me from ogling Rufus, no matter how goofy he acts. And just a few weeks ago, I would barely notice him, even though we had been sharing classes for over two years now.

Then, something changed. I have no idea what, but I remember when.

It was just another science class, about two months ago. I was sitting behind the desk I shared with Jim, just minding my own business when the door opened, and Rufus came in, running three minutes late. I remember lifting my head when he came in through the door, suddenly feeling an overwhelming presence changing the aura of the classroom.

I frowned as I followed Rufus walking to his desk. What the hell happened to him? Was it a new haircut? A new shirt? Did he start working out? New glasses, maybe? Or was it just because he had never been late to a class? It seemed to be none of these things. Rufus sat next to Dale and started unloading his backpack, oblivious to my eyes following his every movement. I only shook out of it when Jim nudged me to show me a stupid TikTok, looking eager to bring Mr. Hudson’s wrath upon us for using his phone. I kept stealing glances to my left at Rufus, who was busy paying attention to the teacher. It frustrated me immensely. What the fuck changed? I barely registered Hudson addressing the class.

“Now, two days ago, an extremely rare astronomical event occurred. Who can tell me what it was?”

It caught my attention. Is he talking about the gamma burst? Please, please! This could mean that instead of a regular lesson, we’d be discussing actually interesting stuff. Before my brain cells could process it, Rufus’s hand was high in the air.

“Two colliding neutron stars caused a powerful gamma-ray burst that hit the Earth on Monday,” he said, his excitement bursting even stronger. “It’s estimated that it may deplete the ozone layer by up to twenty percent.”

“Excellent, Rufus. What else can you tell us about it?”

I watched Rufus as he spoke. At least now, almost all eyes were on him, and I could stare without raising suspicions. I liked his voice, I realized. You could expect a nerd like him to have this uncanny nasal voice, marked by puberty and with a hint of a lisp as a cherry on top - but that was Dale. Rufus’s voice was high-pitched but crisp and vibrant in a strangely satisfying way. I looked around the classroom discreetly. Most faces were bored. No one else seemed to have noticed anything suspicious.

It’s been like this ever since. I thought it would pass the next day, but it didn’t. If anything, the sensation increased every day while keeping me in the dark about its origin.

Okay, maybe not completely in the dark. I admit that Rufus is sort of cute. Perhaps even very cute. I know enough about my sexuality to not have been incredibly shocked by this realization. While adult videos I watch are almost exclusively straight, I get about equally excited by male and female body parts. I accepted it as a fact of life when I was thirteen and never felt threatened by my ambiguous fantasies. My short but intense relationship with Camilla from 9th grade last year left not a single soul doubting my preferences. I had no feelings for boys in real life, so my little secret seemed safe and irrelevant. Until it didn’t.

“Come on, dudes, let’s join them,” Dwight shakes me from my daydream.

Rufus and the gang stop playing and get nervous when they see us approaching. We take chairs from the nearest table and sit by their two conjoined ones, completely cluttered with sheets of paper, maps, and hand-painted figures. Dwight unceremoniously snatches Dale’s character sheet and brings it to his eyes.

“Rhonhyr, dwarf warrior level 8,” he starts reading in a mocking tone. “What the hell? Did you write his whole biography? Rhonhyr is a young dwarf, the seventh son of the dwarven king, Rhubarb, who… wait, Rhubarb? Rhubarb? Fuck me, you can’t make it up!” Dwight hisses, his mouth open in a peal of silent laughter as he barely stops himself from roaring. “Rhubarb!” he repeats, tears gathering in his eyes from laughter. “How can you call someone Rhubarb?” Jim and Clyde start laughing, too, and even I can’t stop the chuckle. Shit, Dale, the lanky ginger boy, is the true king of nerds. He doesn’t seem happy, though, looking blankly at the table and waiting for us to go away. I glance at the librarian, but her eyes are glued to a laptop screen, and she’s not paying us any attention. I wonder how long her battery is gonna last. The power has been out for almost an hour now.

Without thinking, I take Rufus’s character sheet. Arledrian, level 9 elf mage, I read silently. So silly. I look up to read it to the boys, but I meet Rufus’s hostile stare that somehow reaches the depth of my soul. Suddenly, I feel horrible. I give the sheet back to him with a stupid face, and he snatches it from my hands, causing the paper to tear a few inches deep through the middle. Shit, why did they take it so seriously? We’re just joking!

Dwight ignores me. He’s having a great time learning more about Rhonhyr, the son of Rhubarb. He almost laughed himself into a seizure but now continues reading pompously.

“His entire clan has been wiped out by a band of orcs, and now his mission is to get revenge on…”

“Fuck off, Dwight,” Shawna blurts. She looks really pissed, but that overweight, blue-haired girl somehow manages to always look pissed. Now she looks more pissed than usual if that makes sense. Dale wipes a tear from under his stupid thick glasses, Dwight’s intimidating 160-pound weightlifter’s body making him look like a famished stickman.

Dwight drops Dale’s character sheet on the floor and picks up something that looks like a rulebook. “Sheesh, girl, easy, we’re just trying to learn the rules. I wanna be a level sixty-nine tree-hugger. Where do I start?”

Shawna stares daggers at him and stands up abruptly, pushing her chair back and almost toppling it over.

“Go away, or I’m telling on you,” she says. Fuck, she really means it.

“Jesus, relax bitch,” Dwight sneers and stands up, too, carelessly throwing the rulebook back at the table. “Have fun with your kiddie games.”

The rest of us stand up, and to my horror, Rufus keeps giving me an evil stare. Why me and not Dwight? I didn’t even say anything. I barely laughed. I’m not easily intimidated by nerds, but his new secret superpower lets him drill a hole in my skull with his eyes. His round, hazel eyes, piercing me from underneath his big eyelashes…

Fuck! I scold myself in my thoughts, and we leave the library to find something else to do. The power is out in the whole building and apparently that's a good enough reason to cancel the class, so we’re left to roam for almost an hour. The boys quickly forget about our little library stunt, but I can’t get it out of my head all day. Even when I fall asleep, all I can see is Rufus. His squirrel-like face and straight, mid-length black hair, judging and hating me. Disappointed, almost. I can’t shake that image. What kind of voodoo is this? Why won’t he go and haunt Dwight for a change?

The next few days only get worse. I don’t get any more death stares - nor any other stares, for that matter. Nothing new, just like it was for the past two years. So why does it bother me so much all of a sudden? There’s a strong tension building up between us, but only one-way - no one else, including Rufus, seems to notice. I feel fucking helpless. I slowly realize that I want to talk to him and make him like me.

This must be because we share similar interests, I explain to myself. No, not D&D. Science, astronomy specifically. My interest in it has little to do with what we’re being taught at school and more with what I research in my free time, reading books and articles or watching my favorite YouTube channels. I do perfectly fine at school, but I’m not as excited about going through the curriculum as Rufus is. Not to say he doesn’t go beyond what’s in the course book; he definitely does. I would love to have someone to share my passion with. That’s why I’d like to be friends with him, I rationalize.

Not that I can. The boys would never stop the teasing - me hanging out with a loser. I don’t even want to think what would happen if they started suspecting something more.

That’s when our science teacher comes to my rescue. Mr. Hudson announces a pair-up class project before the upcoming solar eclipse - the Great American Total Eclipse that everyone with at least a fleeting interest in astronomy has been anticipating for months.

Hudson tells us to choose a partner and report to him before the bell. The class becomes loud, with everyone busy pairing up. I glance at Rufus, who shares the desk with Dale. They always team up for group work, resulting in Rufus doing the lion’s share and Dale derping around and parasitizing on his smarter - and cuter - buddy. They’re already chatting vividly, and even though my starting position is poor at best, my shark instinct tells me to act.

I get up from my desk and approach Rufus, who barely acknowledges me. He looks me in the eyes for a fraction of a second and then quickly looks away. Not blaming him.

“Hey, Rufus, wanna pair up for the project?” I ask him blatantly, marking the first time I talk to him directly.

Rufus is outright shocked. “Uh, I already….” he stutters, looking at Dale, and I interrupt.

“See, I really need a competent partner for this one. It will be the biggest eclipse in our lifetimes, and I want to do it right. Dad’s helping me, and we have all the measuring and photography equipment. We can take it to the next level, but let’s be honest, only you and I will take this project seriously.”

Rufus finally looks at me, and I give him what I hope is a warm smile. The boy flushes and glances at Dale, who seems almost outraged.

Rufus clears his throat and replies, looking at an empty space over my shoulder. “I already partnered with Dale…”

“I see. Too bad. Thanks, Rufus,” I say and go back to my desk.

I know better than to push my pitch too far. But it doesn’t mean I gave up. The seed is planted. This may be the best opportunity I’ll ever get to talk to him for more than a few seconds.

I go for another try the next day, after PE. Rufus is always the first to change into regular clothes and storm out of the changing room. Is it because we once played keep-away with his pants? Maybe. But in my defense, I didn’t start it. And we gave it back to him eventually, so no harm done.

I usually take my time to shower and change with the boys to the point where we’re always late for the next class. I like post-PE showers and the overall vibe of horsing around, shit-talking, and cooling down after a basketball game. No, I don’t do it to get an eyeful. Not that there’s anything wrong with the boys, even though Dwight’s muscle mass or ego far outweigh his unimpressive cock. Just like Jim and Clyde, he’s good-looking, and so are most of my other classmates. The fact is, I’ve friend-zoned them for my own good and don’t really look down there. Not every time, at least.

Today, I skip the showers altogether. Putting my clothes over my sweaty body feels gross. How can Rufus go like that every day? Perhaps he doesn’t have that problem. He usually stands in one place all game, and everyone’s learned to never pass the ball to him. He’s never really forced or inclined to break a sweat.

Rufus and I change in silence on the opposite sides of the changing room, completely ignoring each other. I wait till he leaves and count to ten before following him. He’s already out of eyesight, but using my best judgment, I go upstairs. As expected, I find him all by himself, rummaging in his locker. I take a deep breath. Focus, Tyler. You can’t afford to fuck it up.

I casually go to my own locker, which is just a few yards away, and I pretend to be looking for something for a few seconds. Rufus doesn’t even glance my way, so I step away from my locker and approach him.

“Hey, Rufus,” I say.

“Yeah?” he asks and closes his locker. He immediately fixes his backpack that’s hanging from his left shoulder and looks eager to leave.

“I was wondering. Have you already researched the best camera settings for filming an eclipse?”

“Just Google it,” Rufus shrugs and attempts to go around me, but I keep walking next to him.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve done some reading, but there are some contradictory resources and…”

“I don’t know,” he says and speeds up. Explicit aversion in his voice makes me stop and just watch as he disappears.

What have I done to deserve it? Sure, we may have done our share of teasing (no one in their right mind would call it bullying) over the past couple of years, but he must be aware that it’s always Dwight who starts it, right? I’m just participating because it’s fun. We tease each other all the time, and nobody treats it seriously except him and his little nerdy clique for some reason.

I’m lost in thought as I head home. Guess I’m gonna have to do the project by myself. Not that I really need anyone. I’ve been preparing for the eclipse for months now, and the school project adds nothing new to what I was going to do anyway. Well except for creating a presentation for the class later, which should just be a formality.

“Hi, Mom,” I say when I enter the house.

“Hi, Tyler. How was school?”

“Good. Dad’s home?”

“Not yet. He just texted me he’s going to be late.”

“Okay. I’ll go upstairs.”

Of course. It’s that time of the year already. I wasn’t looking forward to it. Dad’s running for the council seat - again - and the vote is in a few weeks. We won’t be seeing much of him until after the vote.

I’m upstairs in my room playing League when I get a WhatsApp notification. It’s not like I can pause the game, so I only check it ten minutes later when we’ve won our game.

I open my eyes wide. It’s a direct message from Rufus. How did he get my contact info? Oh, right, he’s in our year’s group chat. I open the chat window to see a few links to different websites with articles on capturing a solar eclipse on film. Below the link, there’s a message from him.

“Some people from the science forum I’m in shared these links. They should be legit.”

I stare at his message for a minute. Then I go back to my PC and write in our Discord chat that I need to pass the next game. I stand up from my desk and hop on the bed. I can’t have any distractions. Can’t blow it now.

“Thanks, Rufus, these look great,” I text him. “I was kinda stuck here.”

Send. I’m not exactly telling the truth. I’ve had the camera settings figured out for months now. I just figured it would be a good question to ask Rufus to get him talkative.

“yw,” comes a reply. “Sorry for earlier, had a bad day.”

I tense up but feel kinda relieved, too. So it wasn’t him being mad at me. At least, it wasn’t the only thing.

“It’s cool, no offense taken,” I write. “How’s the project going? Have you guys started?”

A few minutes pass without a reply, but I can only stare at the screen. Maybe this is as much as he wants to talk to me.

But then, there’s a new message. “We’ll just be recording with our phones. We can’t afford any gear, but I found a light meter app, so it should be fine. Hbu?”

I nervously stir on the bed. Should I flex on Rufus with all I’ve been working on? Will I just get him pissed? He doesn’t strike me as a petty dude, so I send him a pic I made earlier of a professional light meter, a high-end digital camera, a few condenser microphones, and an audio interface. It takes him a few more minutes to reply.

“Wow. You really are taking it seriously.”

“Yeah, I’ve been preparing for months. I’m also getting a radio frequency meter. Dad has some friends at the Uni. I’m really mostly counting off days at this point.”

“Cool. Who did you end up pairing up with?” Rufus asks.

“No one,” I say and then send him a link to the song All by Myself, accidentally discovering that it’s not originally by Celine Dion but by some dude called Eric Carmen.

Rufus quickly responds with a laughing emoji, followed by “Sorry…”

“It’s fine,” I text back. “I wouldn’t want just anybody for this project just to tag along. I really want to make it special.” Then, to not make it look like I’m using emotional blackmail on him, I add, “Bet you’re doing most of the work in your pair, too.”

“I don’t mind :)” Rufus texts back.

“Yeah, me neither Thanks again for the links, Rufus, you’re a lifesaver. Gonna read them now.”

“Happy to help. Take care.”

I toss the phone away and put my hand on my chest. Why do I feel like this when talking to him? This was so intense. Just because we’re not doing the project together doesn’t mean we can’t be friends!

The next day at school, I feel way better. Chatting with Rufus last night relieved some of the pressure. Still, I’m surprised when Rufus comes to me after the science lesson. Luckily, I was just in the boys’ room, and Dwight and the rest aren’t around to see us talking.

“Hi, Tyler,” Rufus says. “Do you still want me on the team? I promise I won’t tag along.”

“Shit, dude!” I exclaim, “I’d love you on the team. But what about Dale?”

“We talked to Mr. Hudson,” he says and starts scratching the back of his head. “He let him join up with Emily and Shawna.”

My face must betray my emotions because Rufus flushes and looks away with an awkward smile.

hr /> Thanks for reading! I'll post Chapter 2 tomorrow. 
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