Dark Star - 12. Chapter 12

Okay, being out at school feels so weird. But Jim was right. Apart from Dwight, no one has any real problems with it. I quickly get tired of correcting people that I'm not gay, especially that they don't believe me anyway. They think I'm testing the waters with the bisexual label before coming out for real. You'd think that having a girlfriend for three months would be sufficient proof, but no. People like simple love stories.

"I can ask Dale to let you sit next to me if you want," Rufus suggests before the next class.

"No, it's fine. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate."

"You're right…" he smiles.

"Hey, listen," I scratch the back of my head, hoping I don't come off as insensitive. "Are you free today? Do you wanna hang out? I mean, are you in the mood? Because it's totally fine if you'd like to spend time with your family."

"I want to hang out," he says. "Mom's staying with my aunt's family, and I'm pretty much alone."

"Why didn't she take you with her?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Because I begged her not to. I fucking hate my cousin Bradd. She knows it, so she didn't force me and let me stay by myself."

"So, should we hang out at your place?"

"We can. But I'd rather not be there much, to be honest. It has felt like a morgue for the past few days, and I need to get out."

"Do you want me to take you in for a few days?"

Rufus looks at me, biting his lower lip - in a nervous, not a sexy way. "Do you think you could?" he asks.

"Wait, are you serious?!"

"I know your parents probably won't let you, and I'm not exactly in an entertaining mood, but even if for an hour or two a day…"

"Are you crazy? I'll ask them to take you in for as long as it takes! I promised you I would be with you no matter what, and I'm not backing off."

An uneasy smile crawls across his face, and Rufus scratches his elbow absentmindedly. "It's nice of you, but I know I'd be a burden."

"Nonsense. I'll talk to Mom after school. Dad is hardly home anyway; he won't even notice."

There's not much more I can do to make him feel more comfortable, but at least he's smiling. I can't forget how fragile inside he must be. What would I do if one of my parents died? It's unimaginable. And I have this sneaky suspicion that Rufus was much closer with his old man than I am with mine… although they were literally separated by an armored glass pane.

Getting things kinda settled with Rufus feels terrific but doesn't help much in terms of my school performance. All I can think of is how my life will look from now on and how my dad will react when I come out to him. Because that's what I'm going to do, no matter what. If I go homeless, so be it. Maybe Rufus's mom would be willing to adopt me. Then again, kicking a gay son out of his house would be bad PR, even for a conservative politician. I bet he considers his career before making rash decisions.

I shake out of it and focus on the class. I can't believe my thinking patterns at this point.

After the final bell, I wait for Rufus, and we go outside.

"So, off to yours?" he asks meekly.

"Wait. I'll call Mom first."

"Isn't it better to talk to her in person?" he suggests.

"Yes, but if she agrees, we'll grab your things first. You know, so we don't have to go back and forth."

"But…"

"Trust me. I think I know how to handle it."

I dial Mom's number, and she picks up after a few rings.

"Mom? Something came up. Rufus needs a place to crash for a day or two. I know how it sounds, but it's an emergency. I'll explain at home. Is it fine if he stays for a sleepover tonight?"

I hear her breathing on the other end of the line. She knows I'm up to something, and she's trying to figure out what.

"Tyler," she starts slowly. "You're doing it to make me look bad because you know I'll say no. Is that what you're trying to achieve?"

"No, Mom, stop reading so much into it! It's fine if you say no, but that would mean everything to us. I'll explain at home. Please?"

"I didn't say yes," she says and hangs up.

"So, what did she say?" Rufus asks.

"She basically said yes. Now come on, let's grab your things!"

***

"... and we can't let Rufus stay home alone or who knows what he might do, right Rufus?"

"Uh… yes, who knows?"

"It's just for tonight, Mom, and if Rufus causes problems, he'll go home in the morning. Please?"

Mom shakes her head slowly as she listens to our explanations. She almost looks amused.

"So let me sum this up," she says with a smirk. "Either I agree, or I condemn Rufus to be bullied by his cousin or stay locked at home for a week. Wow! So much responsibility. How can I possibly handle it?"

"Uh, it's not that dramatic, Mrs. Webb," Rufus steps in. "I told Tyler I would appreciate his company, so if this is an imposition, I'll stay home. I stayed alone before, so it's no biggie…"

"... and then we can hang out at Rufus's house," I notice. "So, Mom, it's perfectly fine if you say no."

"You boys are unbelievable," Mom says with a smile, but her raised eyebrows tell me she's not buying it. "You've taken after your dad, that's for sure, Tyler."

"I'm just saying how it is, Mom," I say innocently.

"You clearly do. Three rules. Chores and homework before play. Open doors at all times."

"That's two rules."

"Third rule. Act decently, especially in front of your dad. We don't want to give him a heart attack just before the election."

"Thanks, Mom," I say and hug her. We're not exactly a hugging family, but this time I mean it. "You will not regret it."

***

"Here, let me make some room for your clothes," I say and start rearranging things in my closet.

"I only have a few things," Rufus says.

"You should bring more. Make yourself feel at home."

"I don't want to impose… and make it look like I'm moving in."

"It's fine, Rufus. Mom acts weird when she thinks she's losing control over the house, but you're very welcome here. You'll see."

"I thought she wasn't fond of you and me getting close," he says warily.

"She wasn't. But something tells me she's starting to see the light… Okay, here. This whole shelf is for you. If you need more room or anything else, speak up."

"Thank you, Tyler," he says and unpacks his bag. I don't stare, but I check out his clothes and underwear with my peripheral vision. As an only child, sharing your room and private space with someone else is an alien sensation.

"Feel free to grab a shower before we eat," I say. "You'll feel better."

After we take turns in the shower, we go downstairs just in time for dinner.

"I was very sorry to hear about your dad, Rufus," Mom says when we all sit down.

"Thank you, Mrs. Webb."

"I'd love you to feel at home here. I know how hard it must be for you. If I can do my part by taking care of you when your mother can't, I couldn’t be happier."

"Thank you, Mrs. Webb. I'd hate to be a nuisance, but Tyler insisted and…"

"I'm sure he did, Rufus," she says with a smile. "Is it fine if I talk to your mother over the phone?"

"Yes, it is."

"If you're going to stay here for a few days, I think I should at least meet her."

Mom makes a call when we go upstairs, and I can faintly hear her voice through the open door.

"I hope my mom doesn't make it awkward," I say after we hop on my bed.

Rufus grabs my hand and squeezes it softly. "You don't know how much I appreciate it. Just… please don't turn dumb again, because I'm not sure if I can cope if you do."

"I won't. I promise. Rufus," I say and take his other hand. "I made up my mind. I'd rather die. Literally."

"Tyler… I believe you, but please don't die."

"Sorry… bad choice of words. But that's the reason I almost broke all contact with you. I thought I was too dumb to ever be with you and would only hurt you sooner than later. And when… your dad passed away… I knew I had to stay away from you before I did something I couldn't fix. If not for Dale… that would be over."

"No way…"

"Yes. I was making plans to live in Alaska."

"God, you're so dumb sometimes," Rufus giggles. "What did Dale do?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"No."

"Never mind then… he talked some sense into me. Let's leave it at that."

"Mysterious…"

"Come here," I beckon him. "Let's cuddle."

He doesn't need to be asked twice. Shortly, he's sitting with his back nestled into me. I wrap my arms around his chest and smell his hair. So nice.

"Rufus… I'm so sorry about your dad," I say after a moment of silence. I didn't have a chance to say it out loud until now. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He doesn't say anything for a minute or two, and I take it as a sign that he's not ready. But then he says, "It hurts a lot."

I hold him a bit tighter and hear him sigh.

"I…" he starts, and his voice breaks. "Sorry…"

"Cry all you need, Rufus," I answer and rock him gently as he sniffles and weeps. I'm thankful I can't see his face because it's already breaking my heart.

He's almost calmed down when he says, "and I didn't even get to say goodbye," which triggers another series of spasms. Poor Rufus. I can only hold him tighter. Is the spark back? Yes. Did he get over it? Very much no. He has to go through it, and I hope I'm at least a tiny bit of help on his way.

I roll on my side and lay Rufus gently on the bed, spooning him from behind. I hold him like that for a few minutes and wait for him to cry his eyes out.

"I'm better," he says, wiping his eyes. I get off the bed and give him a pack of tissues. "Thanks," he says with a squeezed throat, using the tissue to wipe his nose. Meanwhile, I roll down the blinds, and the room goes almost dark, with just a little light from outside the door. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"We're getting you some sleep. You need it."

"No, I'm fine, I just…"

"No arguing. Trust me. You'll feel better. I'll be downstairs. Just call me if you need me."

"Okay. I'll just close my eyes for ten minutes and join you."

I close the door gently, go downstairs, and hear Mom's voice from the kitchen. It's been like twenty minutes, and she's still on the phone. I hope it's not a bad sign. I sit on the couch and idle on my phone. It has never been so cozy. I've been craving a moment to myself like that.

A few moments later, she's finished her call and walks into the room.

"She is a very nice woman," she comments. "I always thought teachers were dull."

"Didn't you say that being a teacher is a noble profession the other day?" I ask.

"Being noble and being interesting are two different things. But she has a nice personality. We would still be talking, but she had to go. I'm meeting her for a coffee on Saturday morning."

"So about Rufus…"

"He can stay," she says as if surprised herself that she's allowing it. "I'm still suspicious why she hasn't chosen to be with her son. The evil cousin explanation is very convenient, but not really believable considering the circumstances. She should've just stayed with him. But I'm giving you both the benefit of the doubt, and I will find out on Saturday."

I give her a weak smile. She could be right. There's probably something else to it, but it's not my business. I'm just happy that Rufus is staying over. "Thanks, Mom. I hope she's not dull in person."

"Hey, don't quote me on it. By the way, where is Rufus?"

"Sleeping. He's exhausted."

"You better take care of the boy, Tyler. If he's as fragile as you and his mother say… just remember that his feelings and needs come first."

"I will, Mom."

"Oh, and I'll tell Dad when he's back home," she says.

"Thanks, Mom…"

We look at each other as if waiting for the other to speak, then she turns and disappears into the bathroom without a word.

Rufus's ten-minute nap extends to the whole afternoon. Mom is taking a bath when I finally hear the door to my room open after almost three hours. I'm surprised to see him in the thin shorts he wore the other day at his house. I hope it means he has started feeling at home already. He's rubbing his eyes adorably as he walks down the stairs.

"Hello," I greet him.

"It's so late… Why didn't you wake me up?" Rufus says with reproach.

"I told you. Your brain needs sleep to sort things out."

"Maybe… Where's your mom?" he asks as he sits next to me.

"In the bathroom."

"Oh, okay," he says and lays his head in my lap, letting me play with his hair. He closes his eyes and purrs.

"You can stay," I tell him.

"Do I look like I'm going somewhere?" he murmurs.

"I mean, you can stay with us. Mom said yes."

"Really?" He opens his eyes and looks up at me.

"Yes. Our moms talked for like half an hour. We're officially roommates!"

"I'm so excited," he says with a snicker, but there's genuine happiness and relief in his brown eyes.

"What do you want to do tonight?"

"I don't know. I'm fine with whatever, but I'd like to do homework first."

"Good call. Let's do it together."

When we're back upstairs, I quickly make room on my desk. "You can use my desk, and I'll just do mine on the bed," I offer.

"Thanks," he says and starts pulling his notes and handbooks from his backpack. I make myself comfortable on the bed as he sits on my chair.

Not even three minutes later, he turns around. "I often do my homework in my bed," he admits.

"It's big enough for two," I smile and pat the space beside me invitingly.

Rufus throws his homework on the bed and lies on his tummy next to me. "That's better," he exhales.

"But now I can't focus," I complain. "There's a cute little elf on my bed."

He looks at me with a smirk. "Do you know you're the first person who ever called me cute? Maybe except for my family, but that doesn't count."

"They're just too shy to say it. You're the cutest boy in our school."

"I like hearing that…" he says and looks away. "Does it mean I'm shallow?"

"No, it doesn't. It just means you haven’t heard enough nice things about yourself yet."

"Just don't spoil me, okay? And by the way, did I tell you that you're hot?"

"You did," I smile. "But you can say it again if you mean it."

"You're hot."

I just lean in and kiss him on the mouth. It's slow and sensual, with our lips moving without haste, slowly letting our tongues take over and dance together. His smell is intoxicating. My dick goes hard in my sweatpants, painfully squeezed between my body and the mattress.

My vision is a little hazy when we break apart, and he looks even sexier than five minutes ago.

"Uh…" I start, reminding myself to behave. "We should probably go back to work before we get carried away."

"Yeah… focus mode?"

"Focus mode," I smile, and we return to our homework. Math problems quickly kill my boner, and I manage to forget that my maybe future boyfriend is lying close to me and looking adorably while at it.

"Finally done," he says after a while and yawns.

"Me too, almost. Are you sleepy?"

"A little bit," I say. Do you want to watch something before bed?"

"Sure."

We find a movie we both like and start watching with low volume to avoid disturbing Mom. The open-door rule sucks, and I hope I can make her change her mind. Just before the movie finishes, we hear the front door opening, and I recognize Dad's pattern of wiping shoes on the doormat. I check the time. It's half past ten. I can't be bothered by politics, but from what I've seen, he's a few points below his main opponent. I guess that's why he's working his ass off in these final days of the campaign.

I can hear him talking to Mom, and a few minutes later, he comes upstairs and peeks through the door. Rufus jumps out of bed to greet him, and I pause the movie.

"Hello, Mr. Webb," Rufus says politely, and my dad shakes his hand with his both.

"I'm very sorry about your father, Rufus. How do you feel?"

"Better. Thank you very much for having me here. It means a lot."

"The pleasure is all mine. I wish Tyler had more friends like you. You're a great little guy. Now you'll excuse me. I need some sleep before tomorrow. Don't stay up late, boys."

Wow, Dad is head over heels for Rufus. It's getting almost suspicious. Does he think so highly of him? Or does he remind him of someone? Dad leaves, and I resume the movie before I let my imagination go wild.

"Guess we should turn in," I say, my head feeling heavy after the long day. "Let me grab the mattress from under the bed."

I retrieve the guest mattress and place it next to my bed. It hasn't been used in a while, more precisely ever since my sleepovers with Jim became less frequent. I realize it was around when we started hanging out with Dwight and Clyde. Could this single thing change me so much? It kinda does feel like I've been less happy ever since. It's about time to figure out what's good for me because being in a toxic "friendship" with popular guys doesn't seem to be the thing. And it's not that something is wrong with Clyde or even Dwight. It's about how I act in social groups. Can I be friends with Jim like we used to be? Maybe, if he stops mentioning playing with my dick every time we're together. It's fine if that's what he needs right now. I bet Clyde wouldn't fuck him and that leaves Jim unsatisfied. That boy has to move on, too.

"You take my bed, and I'll sleep on the floor," I tell Rufus.

"It's fine. I can sleep on the floor."

"No, you can't. I called the dibs on the mattress first. You're out of luck."

"Ugh, you're so awful!" Rufus laughs.

"You've finally seen the light."

As I wash in the bathroom, I consider how decent I should be around Rufus until he's ready to be physical with me again. I decide to wear my usual boxers. We had each other's dicks in our mouths; there's no need for fake modesty.

"Your turn," I tell Rufus when I'm back in my room, and I tuck myself in. Fifteen minutes later, Rufus returns, carrying a pile of his clothes and wearing Star Wars boxer briefs. Yes, Star Wars. And somehow, he manages to look great in them. This is not going to be easy, I think to myself, eyeing his slim, smooth body and a small but appetizing bulge between his legs. He turns off the light and hops on my bed.

"Comfy up there?" I ask in the darkness.

"Yeah, a lot," he says as he stretches out.

"I'm so happy that you're here, Rufus."

"And I'm happy to be here. Don't you want to sleep with me on the bed? There's plenty of space."

"I would, and I will when I convince Mom that we can close the door. I don't want to test her goodwill. And my willpower, if you know what I mean."

"You're right. Goodnight, Tyler."

"Goodnight, Rufus."