My Crimson Year - 3. Chapter 3

So that's what we did. People still watched us, and people still talked. Greg kept us informed of the gossip, and also that Dickie and his boys were busy behind the scenes trying to stir up trouble. Greg was just as busy, telling people to cool it. He said we had more friends than we knew, and not to worry about a thing.

Dottie was also supportive. The story had even worked up to her school level, and her best friends had finally asked her about it. Siblings talk, and most of the people that knew me and Donnie had brothers or sisters that knew Dottie. She also said not to worry, that the older crowd was even less concerned about this kind of stuff than my crowd was.

"It's not 1990 anymore, Andy," she told me, "and this isn't Arkansas. Being gay here isn't that big of a deal anymore. Just relax."

The team was still a little split on how to take us. Greg acted like everything was fine, and so did Mikey Mitchell, our quarter and unofficial leader of the pack. When either of those two were around, everyone was cool. Only when it was us and any of the other guys alone, did we sense their discomfort.

Interestingly, no one said a word to us, even Dickie. He was operating under the once-struck, don't press your luck rule now, and he kept his trap shut when we were within earshot. But that he hadn't forgotten about us was plain.

I relaxed, and started treating Donnie like my boyfriend. Despite our agreement to do just that, he was stiff as a board at first, until I started smiling at him every time he froze up, which always seemed to get him to smile back. We didn't go around holding hands, or kissing in public; but I talked to Donnie like I loved him, and I acted around Donnie like I loved him, and I made it quite clear to the whole stinking world that I loved Donnie Blydon.

And still, no one said a thing.

The game between our Crimson Demons and the Bobcats was a kind of a turning point. There was a winter bite in the air that day, the first failing of the Indian summer weather we had been enjoying thus far. Halfway through the the first quarter, Mikey Mitchell lobbed one way down the field to me, and I somehow grabbed the ball with one hand and held onto it, eluded a Bobcat bent on a tackle, and bolted through a hole in their line and into the end zone. Don't ask me how I did it.

Gary Plunkett kicked the extra point, and the game was hot at seven-oh. It stayed that way for the next two quarters, until late in the third, when the Bobcats scored and tied the game.

These guys were an old thorn in our side, making us fight like hell the year before for the league championship. We were evenly matched, right on top of each other's every move, and the clock was winding down. At the two-minute warning we had the ball. Mikey split left and then back, looking for me, then for Donnie, and spied a Bobcat at the last second angling in fast for a sack. Mikey spun out, ran three steps, and then launched the ball down the field before he was taken down.

But it wasn't coming at me or at Donnie. It was going to fall between us. We both took off towards where the ball was going to land, but a Bobcat reached the spot first. His arms went up, and I caught the look in his eyes as he focused on the incoming ball. I screamed like a crazy dude and barreled in, and the Bobcat's eyes flickered towards me just for a second.

It was just long enough. Donnie came up behind the Bobcat, leaped just incredibly high, snatched the ball out of the air a foot above the Bobcat's outstretched hands, spun in mid-air, and slid down the Bobcat's back to land on his feet, running. I howled with glee and chased him right into the end zone, grabbed him up, and hugged him with all my might.

The rest of the team was right behind me. Donnie gut hugged by more guys that day than most gay guys get in a lifetime.

We managed to hold the last minute of the game, and won it fourteen-seven. It was a victory in more ways than one. The team suddenly forgot they'd been acting nervous about Donnie and me, and crowded around. It was the first time some of them had talked to us, more than to say hey or talk game, in a whole week.

Greg ambled around with us after the game, walking between us, his arms draped over our shoulders, like a personal escort. Kids from school patted us on the backs and congratulated us, and everyone seemed to be grinning. Donnie, especially, seemed to be loving the attention, and it just made me happy to see him smiling and laughing so much. It was one of those moments that life hands you way too infrequently to be anything but glorious.

Coach Duncan's pep talk was wonderful. He pointed out again how well we had worked together, how well we had followed the plays, and how well we had improvised when the need to do so arose. He spread his approval around equally, making sure that everyone got some, and once again reminded everyone that a team was a single unit that took care of its own. That his eyes were on Donnie and me when he added that last was likely not missed by anyone.

But it was Mikey Mitchell that made the moment. He'd been getting his own share of the acclaim as the bleachers emptied, as had the whole team for a job well-done. People slowed to offer a good word as they streamed by for the parking area, and Mikey, as quarter, was a center of attention. He finally broke away from the crowd of well-wishers, and came up to us.

Greg pulled his arms off of our shoulders and put his hands together in front of his chest like he was praying, and bowed his head over them as Mikey drew up before us. "Ho, most mighty one. How can we serve you?"

Mikey grinned ear-to-ear. "Shut up, Greg."

We all laughed.

Mikey gave Donnie a little poke, and then one to me. "You guys are awesome, you know that?"

Donnie laughed. "Hey, it was those perfect throws of yours. And all the guys kicked some ass today."

Mikey smiled, nodded, and looked over his shoulder at the rest of the team, who were sprawled in a group on the ground in the shade of a tree, some with family members, talking and laughing over the victory. People still milled everywhere, chatting together, smiling, looking happy. The victory over the Bobcats had us looking at another possible league championship again this year.

"Everyone played well, you're right," Mikey said. For a moment his eyes moved back and forth between Donnie and me. "Um...listen, you guys. I was talking to some of the others, and we wanted to tell you something."

Donnie looked over at me, a sudden look of anxiety in his eyes.

Mikey caught it, and held up a hand. "Just...just wait." He took a breath, leaned closer, and lowered his voice. "We've been hearing some shit about you two for a while, okay? And, um, we can kind of see stuff ourselves."

Donnie moved closer to me, and Mikey followed him with his eyes. "It's okay," he said hurriedly. "That's...that's what I wanted to tell you. It's okay."

"It's okay?" I repeated, not sure what he meant.

Mikey nodded. "Yeah. I mean, you guys are okay. With us." He frowned - at the looks on our faces, I guess. "Man, I know I'm messin' this up. I'm sorry." He rubbed at an eye with the back of a hand, thinking. "Um, I've known you guys a long time. We've played a lot of football together. You're good guys."

Greg grinned then. "He's saying that everything's cool. Right, Mikey?"

"Yeah, that's it. Everything's cool, you guys." He leaned even closer. "We don't care if you're boyfriends."

There it was. It couldn't be any plainer than that.

Donnie gave a little shocked gasp and looked at me. I could see the surprise in his eyes - and the uncertainty. I reached over and took his hand, and squeezed it. Donnie looked down at that, his eyes widening, but made no move to pull away. His eyes came back up to mine...and a slow smile spread across his face.

Mikey was watching us, and I could see the small shock he was feeling at this confirmation of what he and the others had been thinking. Up until then it had been all speculation and hearsay. Now, it was a confirmed fact.

Greg came around behind us and draped his arms over our shoulders again. "Thanks, Mikey."

Mikey suddenly grinned. "Man, that was hard as shit. Are we okay, then?"

I looked at him. "You sure everyone is cool?"

He nodded. "Yep. Everyone's cool." He leaned forward. "You're team, right? Anyone gives you guys any grief, they have to deal with the whole team, okay?"

I gave Donnie's hand another squeeze, and let it go. "Thanks, Mikey."

"Yeah, thanks," Donnie echoed.

For a second Mikey looked really sad. "I'm really sorry about the way we've been acting, you guys. We just didn't know what to do." Mikey had been treating us just fine - he was speaking for the team. He was really something, all right.

"You don't have to apologize about anything," I returned. "We're still the same guys you've played with the past two years."

Mikey poked a finger in one ear and scratched. "Yeah. So are we. It just took a little time for us to see that."

* * * * * * *

The weather got colder, the football season rougher. We somehow maintained our hot streak, but not without some problems. Donnie twisted his ankle and sat out for two games, while me and Sam Stafford took up the slack. Sam was competent, and eager, and he tried like hell, but he lacked Donnie's speed and eye for play, and more of the brunt of picking Mikey's throws out of the sky fell on me.

A full two weeks of ankle massages and some loving from me made Donnie as good as new, and I was glad to have him back for the next game. He was back to his old self, and had relaxed a lot now that the team seemed to be back to normal with us. We won again, and it seemed like we were gonna be unstoppable this year.

It was a late afternoon game, and the sun had already dropped behind the mountains as the crowd broke up, and it was getting dark right before our eyes. One of the things I always disliked about winter was how early it got dark.

"You get cocky, you'll fuck up," Greg warned everyone, after the game, while we were getting ready to head home. He'd been listening to everyone talk about how great we were doing, and now he wanted his say. We were kicked back on the ground, resting our aches before moving on. Greg was sprawled in the twilight somewhere to our rear. Two of the guys had left with their families, but the rest of us were walking it, and not in any hurry to get going. The turnout to watch the game had been small today, probably because of the cold and the possibility of snow.

"We're hot!" Someone else called and everybody laughed. Greg was always a voice of reason, which was one of the reasons I liked him so much. But not everyone else on the team took him as seriously.

"I know your voice, Terry Colsky!" Greg called across the dusk. "You damn near let that Coyote sack Mikey today."

"What?" came the same voice, a little indignantly. "I took that guy out."

"You tripped and fell and he fell over you, you mean. You're supposed to block, not assault."

Everybody had seen the play, and everyone laughed.

"Yeah, yeah," Terry's voice came again. "I'll be more careful."

Mikey got up, stretched. "Fuckin' ground's cold as shit. I feel my muscles knotting up." There was just enough light left to make out the pained expression on his face.

"Must be little knots!" someone called, disguising their voice.

Mikey laughed. "Whoever that was, shut the fuck up." He turned and pointed at Donnie. "Great catch in the second. You should be a juggler."

Donnie grinned. "Who says I'm not?"

"Oh, Donnie!" the same disguised voice called, sounding all dreamy, like a girl on her first date.

Donnie grinned and looked back at the guys. "I know that's you, Greg."

"It is not," said the same voice, but now sounding more like Greg.

Donnie reached over and gave me a little prod. "Andy helped with that play, too."

"Oh, Andy!" Greg called, sounding dreamy again.

Brent Caldwell laughed, and patted me on the shoulder. "Hey, man, your dog's howling at the moon again."

"How much you gettin' paid to act like such a doink?" Jeff Nabely called to Greg.

"I work for free, for the right people," Greg called back.

"How about workin' this for free?" someone else returned.

Mikey shook his head, but he was smiling. "What Greg said earlier is true, you guys. We're doing great, but we can't just expect that to continue. We have to work at it like we're down instead of up, okay? Overconfidence is a killer."

"Oh, Mikey!" Greg called, in the dreamy voice again.

Mikey was trying not to laugh, but not doing a very good job of it. "If I have to come back there and pound you, you won't be happy, Greg."

"But I'm your number one fan!" Greg squeaked, in mock horror.

There was a sudden commotion behind us, lots of laughing, and then a grunt.

"We're sitting on him, Mikey," Junebug Bradford called. "You go ahead."

Mikey nodded. "Just don't break anything, 'cause we need him." He pointed at Kenny Dale. "You punched some big holes in that Coyote line today, boy. They were startin' to flinch when they saw you even looking at them."

"I was feelin' a little aggressive," Kenny acknowledged. "Probably something I ate in the school cafeteria yesterday."

"It was the marshmallow topping on the hamburgers," Jeff called. "Gave me the hershey squirts last night."

"TMI!" Terry said, groaning.

"I hate to tell you this, but that was cheese," I called.

"You got your opinion, I got mine!"

Mikey threw up his hands. "I give up. Just play your best, you guys."

"Oh, Mikey!" Greg called again, sounding more muffled this time.

There were some more sounds of laughing, and some wrestling about, and then Greg's voice came again, sounding surprised. "Oh, Junebug! I didn't know you cared!"

Donnie slid over beside me and leaned close. "It's gettin' cold."

It was. I nodded, and worked my way to my feet. "Gettin' cold, Mikey."

"Yeah, I know. Greg? You need a rescue?"

"Are you kiddin'? Me and Junebug are rockin'!"

There was a small, almost girlish shriek, and a shadowy someone lurched to his feet. "Get away from me! You're crazy!"

Another, slightly larger shadow rose, and gave chase. "But we're so good together! Does this mean it's over?"

Donnie and I both laughed, and I felt him lean against me. That we had become this relaxed with the team all around us was wonderful. It was kind of dark, but it wasn't that long ago that that wouldn't have mattered to Donnie.

A shadow came back towards us, resolved itself finally into Greg. He was grinning. "Junebug said, 'later', guys."

Terry got to his feet. "You scared him off, acting like that, Greg. What do we do if he doesn't come back?" But I could tell by the sound of Terry's voice that he was kidding.

Greg shrugged. "He'll be back. He owes me a kiss."

We headed home. Greg wanted to put his arms over our shoulders again, but Donnie shrugged him off. "We're not carrying you home, Greg," he said, laughing.

Greg grinned. "Okay, be that way. Junebug's my new boo, anyway."

"You didn't really kiss him, did you?" I asked.

Greg grinned. "The fuck I didn't. I have a rule: anyone that lays atop my body is fair game."

Donnie laughed. "I think he is bi, Andy."

"You're not, are you?"

Greg laughed. "Hey, kissing Junebug is one thing, and suckin' him off is another."

I gave him a little push. "Even kissin' guys is a little gay, Greg."

He nodded. "Then I'm a little gay, maybe." He suddenly darted his head forward and planted one squarely on my cheek.

I stopped, stunned. "What the fuck, Greg?"

He stopped, too. "I love you guys. I'm not afraid to show that."

Donnie stepped forward. "Hey, hands off!"

Greg grabbed him, pulled him close, and laid one on Donnie's cheek. Donnie sputtered, and then his hands came up and he pushed Greg away. "Shit! Are you kiddin' me?"

"No," Greg said, and I could tell he meant it. "I really do love you guys."

I shook my head, wondering where this Greg had come from. "And you love Junebug, too?"

Greg laughed. "Nah. He's just cute as can be. That was a fun kiss, not a love kiss." He laughed then. "Least ways, not yet."

He sounded like he was kidding, but I could see Greg's eyes in the light from a distant streetlamp, and he did not look like he was kidding. Greg was always a surprise, and it was getting a lot harder to see where he was coming from these days. It was getting so I never knew what to expect next.

I shook my head at him. "What brought this on?"

He shrugged. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about love, is all. I want some love in my life. And I was reading something online about how to tell if you're in love. One of the things it said was that you suddenly feel really happy when you're around the person you love." He smiled. "Both you guys do that to me."

"What about sex?" Donnie asked bluntly.

"What about it? I don't want to get in bed with you guys. I just love being around you." He leaned forward and gave us a leer. "But knowin' you guys get it on is a little hot for me, I have to admit."

Donnie made an amazed sound. "What? You wanna watch, or something?"

Greg laughed. "Well, I wasn't thinking that, but if you're offerin'..."

"No, thank you," I said firmly. "How much of this is true, and how much is bullshit?"

Greg shrugged. "I really do love you guys."

I looked at him, and suddenly believed him. Greg loved to play, and he was nuts; but if you asked him something straight up, the answer you got was usually the right one.

I looked at him, and then at Donnie. I loved Donnie. I mean, a lot. Did I love Greg, too?

Maybe. Maybe I did, a little. He was a great friend, and that he cared about Donnie and me both was pretty obvious.

I nodded. "I guess I kinda feel the same."

Greg looked pleased. "I'm not trying to get in your pants, Andy. You, either, Donnie. You guys got each other." He shrugged. "I just like being with you."

Donnie looked at me, and stuck his bottom lip out. "I'm okay with it."

"I am, too."

"Great!" Greg said, swooping between us and dropping his arms over our shoulders. "Let's go. It's cold."

He marched us off down the road, and as he did so, his hand slid off my shoulder, and the next thing I knew, he was grabbing a handful of my butt cheek. "Hey!"

The hand jerked back up, and landed on my shoulder, and gave it a squeeze. "Gee, can't you take a joke?"

"What happened?" Donnie asked, leaning forward to look at me across Greg's grinning face.

"Fuckin' Greg just grabbed my ass," I said.

Donnie gave a startled laugh. "No, he did not!"

I felt Greg move, and then Donnie's smile turned into a gape. "Hey!"

I laughed. This was gonna be interesting.

* * * * * * *

On the Sunday after the game, we were hanging out in Donnie's room. Donnie's mom had gone to the city with friends and would not be back until dinner. Donnie and I were laying in his bed, quite naked, after just having some pretty steamy sex. I was laying on top of Donnie, grinning down at him, kissing him and licking his lips, while he grinned up at me.

"I liked what you did," he said, his eyes shining. "Nobody ever sucked on my nuts before."

I showed all my teeth in a big smile. "It was a new thought. But count on it happening again."

His eyes looked up at me, full of affection, and he raised his head and kissed me. "I'm so glad I told you."

I knew just what he meant. "I'm glad, too. I don't know if I would have had the guts to tell you, if you hadn't done it."

There was music playing, but we always had it down so low we really couldn't hear what was on. It was a kind of background noise, like the rustle of leaves on a breezy summer day, which served to make Donnie's room somehow more peaceful. As we had kind of selected Donnie's house as our main hang out, we had gone out of our way to make it homey. Lights that could be turned down, music in the background, lots of pillows on the bed. Donnie's mom worked during the week while we were at school, and on the weekends, she hung out a lot with her friends. Donnie said she was a little lonely since she and his dad had split, and was trying to make up for it by doing more things with her friends.

My house was busier, and therefore less cool for two guys to be laying around in bed naked. My dad worked, but he was usually home on the weekends, and my mom was home all the time. Plus, I had a sister who knew about me and Donnie, but with whom I still did not wish to share the sounds of us laughing and bouncing around in the bed. A guy has to have some standards of conduct, you understand.

Donnie and I loved to just lay together, and touch and kiss. We often spent hours doing this on Sunday, when the house was empty. It beat the hell out of Xbox every day of the week.

I was just seeing if I could find Donnie's tonsils with the tip of my tongue when I heard a funny beeping sound. I lifted my head and looked down at Donnie. "What the hell is that?"

Donnie's eyes got big. "Shit! That's the doorbell."

"That's the doorbell?" I repeated, disbelievingly. It sounded like a big truck backing up.

"Yeah. Let me up!"

I rolled off him, and he rolled out of the bed and stood up. He bent over to grab his briefs off the floor and treated me to a sweet shot of his butthole, causing me to smile. "Where you going?"

He grinned over his shoulder at me. "To see who it is, dum dum. Come on!"

He went to the door and unlocked it, and went out into the hall. I sighed, got out of bed, and bent to get my briefs. There was no one to admire my butthole, though, darn it.

I went after Donnie, found him at the little row of lights to one side of the front door. There was a narrow white curtain over the little windows, which he had edged back and was peering around the edge of.

I heard him give a little laugh, and he turned to look at me. "It's fuckin' Junebug!"

"Junebug?" I repeated blankly. What the hell was he doing here?

Not that he wasn't a friend of ours. But he had been one of the ones acting weird after the stories about us came out. He hadn't been by in a couple of weeks now.

"What do you think he wants?" I asked.

Donnie shrugged. "He's not here to see my mom, I know that."

He slid over to the other side of the door and threw the deadbolt. I gaped. "Are you letting him in? We're in our underwear!"

Donnie gave me a look. "So what? We've all been buck naked together in the shower at school. You think he'll care?"

"We're not at school," I reminded him. "You and I are in our underwear together at your house, with your mom not home."

Donnie made a rude noise. "They know about us, remember?"

Oh, yeah. Shit. And I thought I was the comfortable one with our gayness. Donnie had come along way!

Donnie grabbed the handle and opened the door. Junebug had obviously heard Donnie fooling with the lock, and was expecting to see the door opened. But he was not expecting to see Donnie and me standing there in our underwear. His eyes got big, and he took a step back.

Donnie pushed open the storm door, and a blast of cold air hit us. "Hi Junebug! What's up?"

Junebug - whose real name was Jeremy - kind of gaped at us, his eyes going from our faces to our crotches, where some clear remnant of our boners undoubtedly still showed, and back to our eyes again. His expression made it plain that he'd just decided that coming here was a big mistake.

"Um...I...um..." he gulped, shifting from one foot to the other.

Donnie looked back at me, grinning, then reached out and grabbed Junebug by the front of the coat he had on and dragged him inside. "Too cold for ums, buddy," he explained, pulling the storm door to the latch behind the boy. Junebug automatically moved over and made room for Donnie to close the front door.

Junebug looked petrified. Scared. What the hell? I reached over and gave his arm a squeeze. "Relax, man. We don't bite."

He found his voice. "You guys are busy --" He made a move towards the door.

I tightened my grip on his arm and stopped him. "No, we're not. What's up?" By now I could see that Junebug was really bothered by something, and I realized that he was here to talk. He had to have known that Donnie and me would be together - he just wasn't expecting us to reek of sex. I tried not to smile at that.

He looked from me to Donnie, and I could see he was upset. I looked at Donnie, and he nodded. We each took Junebug by an arm and moved him towards Donnie's bedroom. He resisted the tiniest bit until we got him going, but moved along easy enough after that. We went into Donnie's room, and Donnie detached himself and closed the door behind us. I heard the click of the bolt being thrown, and so did Junebug. He turned his eyes on us, and his thoughts were plain. Locked in with two raving homosexuals! Donnie and I both started laughing. Junebug's mouth dropped open. "What?"

"You should see your face, "Donnie said. "You look like you think we're about to jump your bones!"

Junebug looked from Donnie to me. "You aren't, are ya?"

I shook my head. "No. We're friends, man. We only jump on the bones of hunky strangers."

Junebug blinked, and then he grinned. "Sorry. I'm a little nervous."

"Any reason why?" Donnie asked. "You've known us for years."

Junebug swallowed again, and nodded. "Yeah. I just didn't know that...that you guys were...you know."

I moved over next to Donnie and put my arm around him, leaned over and kissed his cheek. He grinned. "Boyfriends?" I asked.

Junebug watched us a moment, his eyes holding something I didn't quite understand. He nodded again. "Yeah. That."

I released Donnie, and moved closer to Junebug. "It's just like Matt Jeffers and Carry Kennedy at school," I said. "Or Randy Blackford and Jennifer Allen. Or Dylan Chambers and Angie Warsaw. They're boyfriend and girlfriend. Two people, together." I smiled. "Like Donnie and me."

Junebug licked his lips. "I know. I'm sorry."

Donnie and I looked at each other again. Donnie came over and took Junebug gently by the arm. "You want a Coke or something?"

"No. I'm good."

Donnie nodded. "You wanna take your coat off? It's warm in here."

Junebug nodded, and absently skinned out of his coat and tossed it on the bed.

Donnie led Junebug to the cedar chest and pushed him down to sit on the lid. Then Donnie came back next to me, and both of us sat down on the edge of the bed.

"So, what's up?" I asked, studying Junebug's face.

He had light brown hair and green eyes, and just the sweetest face you could imagine, like the sun came up there each morning. That face announced Junie's good humor and bright intelligence long before he ever opened his mouth. On the football field he was fast and agile, and utterly fair in his play. Junebug was the last person on this earth I'd ever believe had done some cruddy shit to someone.

And, he was also on my very short list of guys in school that - after Donnie - I would have loved to sleep with.

I know, I know. But it's true.

Junebug gave us a smile, and then a small, nervous laugh. "I don't know how to start."

"Just say it," Donnie said, softly. "It's okay."

I was now suspecting that Junebug maybe had heard something he wanted to tell us. Maybe somebody had been talking trash about me and Donnie, or something was up. He just didn't know how to get started about it.

Junebug nodded, and dropped his eyes. "Um...how did you know?"

Donnie looked at me, and then back at the other boy. "Know what?"

Junebug squeezed his eyes closed a moment, then opened them again. "How'd you know you were...gay?"

That was not what I had expected.

I looked over at Donnie, and he shrugged. Him, either, apparently.

"I just knew," I said, without much thought. I mean, there had been no revelation, no epiphany. I had always felt a special thing for Donnie, and as we grew older, I had realized that I was attracted to him, too. That I desired him. And loved him.

I had also seen that I was attracted to other boys - Junebug included. Even before I knew about sex, I had imagined being close to the guys I liked.

I leaned forward. "Well, you start to notice things about certain guys - how cute they are, or how much you like them, or how special you feel when you're with them. And...you start to wonder what they look like, maybe...under their clothes."

Junebug nodded, looking unhappy. "That's what I thought. I knew it."

Donnie leaned against me, put an arm around me. "Then you start to think what it would be like to touch them," he said. "And kiss them. And do...other stuff with them."

Junebug's eyelids sank down, and his mouth twisted up, and suddenly his face was running with tears. He dropped his head, and I heard him sob.

Donnie and I looked at each other, stunned.

I got right up and went to sit next to Junebug. Even as I lowered myself next to him, Donnie was sitting down on the other side. We both leaned closer, and gently pressed Junebug between us.

I had a feeling I knew now where this was going. "Junie? You okay?"

He nodded, but didn't raise his head. "I don't want to be gay," he said softly.

I leaned forward, my gaze touching Donnie's. "Are you?" I asked.

There was a pause, and then Junebug nodded.

It was a little bit of a shock. Junie was not a guy I would have guessed was gay. His sweet demeanor and sunshine good looks meant that the girls chased him everywhere, and he had always seemed to like that. Then again, acting is something that most gay guys get good at.

I understood his grief. I had been here, done this, and knew what Junie was feeling. Man, did I know. But I had had Donnie to go through this with me. I hadn't been all by myself when I had discovered who I was.

I put an arm around Junie and laid my head on his shoulder. I felt Donnie doing the same thing. "It's okay," I said. That's all I could think of to say. Somehow, that was what people needed to hear when they were in distress - someone letting them know life would go on.

We sat there for five minutes, maybe more. Junie cried softly, and we let him, just holding onto him so that he didn't have to cry alone. I could feel what he was feeling - his body radiated his distress. It was all I could handle not to cry with him.

Finally, the heaving came less frequently, and Junie settled down. Donnie got up and got the box of tissue, and gave them to Junie. He blew his nose, and then looked at us. "Sorry."

I shook my head, took a tissue and blew my own nose. "It's okay." I smiled. "Just want you to know that what you told us will never get outside this room."

Junebug shrugged. "I can't keep it secret forever."

Donnie put a hand on Junie's arm and patted it comfortingly. "You probably could. I'd have never guessed you were gay. If you keep acting like you're not, no one would ever know." Donnie looked over at me and smiled. "But you wouldn't be very happy."

Junie nodded. "That's what I mean. I could pretend, but...I don't really like girls. Not like for sex, I mean." He sniffed. "I don't wanna be alone my whole life. I want somebody like you guys got."

Donnie smiled. "We're both taken."

Junebug managed to laugh. "I don't mean one of you, stupid. I mean a guy like you."

I shrugged. "Aren't a lot of them around," I said.

Junebug looked back and forth at us, like he thought we might be kidding. "There's Greg."

I laughed, and Donnie laughed. "Greg's not gay," I said.

"He hangs out with you guys," Junie insisted.

I was about to say that so did Junie, and that didn't make him gay - but I caught myself just in time. "The whole team hangs out with us," I said instead. "We have friends at school. Just because they like us doesn't make them gay."

Donnie nodded. "Greg's weird, and he's nuts, but he's not gay."

Junebug nodded. "Yes, he is. He kissed me yesterday when we were rumbling on the football field."

I laughed, remembering the moment. "You guys were just fuckin' around, weren't you?"

Junie shook his head. "No."

Donnie huffed. "Come on, man. We know Greg's crazy. He kissed us, too."

Junebug bit his lip. "He...he felt me through my pants."

I don't know whose jaw sagged lower, mine or Donnie's.

"What?" I said, even though I'd heard him clearly.

Junebug nodded. "Well, he didn't get my dick, because I was wearing my guard. But he was after it."

"You got up and ran," Donnie said. "I saw you."

Junie made a face. "Well, duh. I couldn't just lay there and let him feel me up in front of the whole team." He sighed then. "I wanted to, though."

Donnie looked at me, and then shook his head. "Man, Greg's nuts. He was just fooling around."

Junebug sighed. "I've rumbled with tons of guys before. Nobody ever held onto me like Greg did. He...he...hugged me. I just...I just know."

"You just know," Donnie repeated.

Junebug nodded. "It's not the first time he's wrestled with me. We've done it lots of times. It was always special with him. Wrestling with the other guys is just wrestling." Junie's eyes moved between us as he presented his case. "And I always see Greg looking at me. He looks at me a certain way." Junie licked his lips. "I look at him, too."

Holy crap. I had to laugh. The way Greg acted around us, almost anyone would think he was gay. But...he had told me point blank that he wasn't gay, and wasn't bi.

Or...wait. No, he hadn't. He had said he didn't think he was gay, or bi.

Oh...man. I looked at Donnie. "What do you think?"

He shrugged. "I dunno." But then he grinned. "Um, but I'd be the last one to be surprised if Greg really was gay."

I looked at Junie. He had hope in his eyes. "You like Greg?"

Junie looked surprised, and then briefly terrified - and then absolutely sure. "Yeah. I've always liked him." He managed a small smile. "He's cute."

Well...Greg was a nice-looking dude. Even I could see that.

I leaned closer. "This is important, Junie. What I'm asking, is...do you like Greg like you'd want him for your boyfriend?"

The answer was plain on that sweet face. A slow smile bloomed, and then Junie nodded. "Yes."

Nothing uncertain about that response.

Donnie leaned closer, too. "What will your parents do if they find out?"

Junie swallowed hard. "My mom knows."

Donnie and I gaped at each other.

"You told her?" I asked.

"I had to tell someone or I was gonna go nuts."

"How'd she take it?" I asked. I mean, I knew I'd have to tell my folks someday, too. I wanted to know how that might play out.

Junie compressed his lips. "She cried at first. She asked me if I was sure. I said I was."

That didn't sound good.

Junie offered a small smile. "But then she hugged me, and said she loved me so much, and asked how she could help."

My eyes got a little wet, and I rubbed at them. "She asked how she could help?"

He nodded. "I kinda told her how I liked Greg. And she asked me if he was gay, and I said I thought he was." He nodded at us. "I still think he is."

I nodded back. "Then what?"

Junie sighed. "I'd already told her about you guys. She said I should come and talk to you." He shrugged. "Here I am."

Fucking wow. Junie's mom sounded awesome as hell.

"What did you think we would do?" Donnie asked.

Junie pressed his lips together, looked uncertain. "Maybe help me? Greg's really tight with you guys. He made sure everyone in the school knows that he's your friend. I just thought...maybe you could tell him about me."

Stupid me. I was just about to ask why Junie didn't tell Greg himself when I remembered the little scared dance that Donnie and I had done for so long. I understood immediately.

I looked at Donnie. "What do ya think?"

Donnie showed a lot of teeth in the smile he gave me. "I think we should call Greg and tell him to come over."

I just had to laugh.

But we did that. I called, using my cell. Greg was out in his backyard, tossin' the football with his little brother, and asked me what was up. I just said that Donnie and I had something interesting to share with him, but wouldn't say what.

Oh. And that we were in our underwear.

"Ooh," Greg said, sounding delighted. "I love mysteries. Okay, I'll be over in a few minutes."

I shut off the phone, and smiled at Junie. "He's on his way."

Junie looked scared all over again. "What if he doesn't like me like I like him?"

I had to consider that. "We won't know until we try. But...if he wasn't just playing with you, he must really like you, Junie." The more I thought about it, the more I thought Donnie and I were just blind. Greg was always fooling around with Junie, wrestling with him, joking with him, touching him and smiling. Greg was so physical with everybody that it didn't stand out.

Until now.

Junie grinned. "Um...I laid in bed that night and jerked off and pretended he'd got my dick in his hand."

Donnie hooted. "Ooh. You're not shy, are ya?"

Woof! War stories. I grinned. "Man. If we can get you and Greg together, us four are gonna have a lot to talk about."

Junie looked delighted. "I'd like that a lot."

I heard Donnie make a little noise, and then he came right over and wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. I put my arms around him and kissed back, knowing the things he was feeling.

One, that if we could get Greg and Junebug together, they might be as happy as we were.

And two, it would give us friends that we could share with. Talk. Ideas. Life. I squeezed Donnie hard, kissed him, and opened my eyes. Junebug was watching us, his head canted slightly to one side, a little smile on his lips. But it was his eyes I would remember forever. They were aimed at us, but his gaze was distant, dreamlike, hoping.

His eyes suddenly focused and he saw me looking then, and grinned.

A few minutes later I heard that weird sound again, like a truck backing up. "What is with that doorbell?" I asked Donnie.

He shrugged. "The old bell broke. My dad had that beeper in the basement, and he hooked that up until he could buy a new bell. And then he and my mom split up, and so that's what we have now."

Oh.

We went to go out into the hall, when I had an Idea. I stopped so fast that Junie nearly ran into me. "Go back and sit on the cedar chest," I told him.

"Why?"

I smiled. "Trust me."

He frowned, but nodded and went back and sat.

I caught up to Donnie and we opened the front door. Greg stood there, his hands pressed down into his coat pockets. He saw us there in our underwear and grinned. Donnie pushed the storm door open, and Greg stepped inside.

"Shit, I thought you were kidding about being in your underwear. Gonna let me watch the fun after all, huh?"

I gave him a little smack on the arm as Donnie pushed the main door closed. "No, that's not why you're here."

Real or feigned, disappointment rained across Greg's face. "Aw, you guys are teases."

Donnie and I both laughed. I made sure I was out front as we led Greg back to Donnie's room, and as I went inside, I turned back to watch Greg's face.

He had unzipped his coat, and was just pulling it off. "So, what's the big rush? You sounded on the phone like..."

He trailed off as he spotted Junie. Greg stopped, and several things crossed his face in rapid succession: surprise, confusion, and then...delight. It was the last emotion, deep and vivid, that convinced me.

"Oh, hi, Junebug. I didn't know you were gonna be here." Greg looked at me. "What's up?"

I went and took his coat from him, and tossed it on the bed with Junie's. Then I pointed at the edge of the bed across from Junie. "Park your butt."

For once Greg just obeyed, without stopping to wisecrack about it.

I walked back and forth in front of Greg, trying to look serious. "Junie came by today with a story to tell. He said that you kissed him yesterday on the field."

Greg grinned. "I told you I did that."

I nodded. "He also said you groped him and tried to feel his dick."

Greg's eyebrows shot up. "What?"

I nodded. "Well...did you?"

Greg looked shocked, and then he looked uncomfortable. And then he grinned. "Shit, I was just playin'. I didn't mean to get you mad, Junebug. Sorry."

I nodded. "Just playin', huh?"

Greg nodded, narrowing his eyes at me. "Yeah. What's up with this?"

I looked at Donnie, who tried very hard to look serious, but couldn't keep the shadow of a grin out of his eyes.

I looked back at Greg. "Seems we have a problem here."

Greg licked his lips, his eyes going to Junebug. "I said I was just playin'. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off."

"He's not mad," I said then, leaning closer to Greg. "That's not the problem."

He frowned. "It's not? Then what is?"

I gave a big dramatic sigh, and pushed my face closer to Greg's. "The problem is...he liked it."

Oh, talk about fuckin' classic! Greg's face went through so many contortions that I thought something would shatter. This continued for every bit of three seconds, and then Greg's mouth simply fell open.

"Huh?"

I smiled then. "I said, 'he liked it.'"

Greg leaned to one side so that he could see Junie past me. "Huh?" he repeated.

Junebug got up and came forward, and stood in front of Greg. I backed off a bit to make it easier for them to see each other.

"I liked it," Junebug breathed, looking terrified and enchanted all at once.

I nodded. "Junie likes you, Greg."

Greg just blinked. "Me? He likes me?" It was like he couldn't believe it. "Well...I like him, too."

I nodded. "Junie likes you...like I like Donnie."

Greg's eyes widened slowly, until they could not widen further. His mouth dropped so far open that I could count his lower teeth. His tongue moved inside, and then his eyes slowly rose to meet mine.

"Seriously?" he whispered.

I nodded. "Seriously."

Greg's eyes dropped, went to fasten on Junie's. Junie tried to smile through his fear.

"Holy fuck," Greg breathed. His mouth closed, and he swallowed hard. "Holy fuck," he repeated.

I leaned down again. "Now I have the important question, Greg. How do you feel about Junie?"

Greg shook his head slowly side to side, then looked up at me. "This is a joke, right? You guys are burnin' my brain, right?"

"Nope."

Greg looked back at Junie. Looked at him for a long time, while Junie shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

"You really like me?" Greg asked again. He obviously still couldn't believe it.

Junie looked so scared, but also so determined. He came farther forward, and sank to his knees between Greg's feet, and put his hands up and laid them carefully on Greg's knees. "I have for a while now, Greg."

Greg simply watched Junebug for the longest time. Junie watched back, trying to smile, trying to be brave. But Greg's silence was heavy, and I saw the first signs of doubt creeping into Junie's eyes.

But then Greg suddenly sighed softly. "You are so...beautiful," he said, hardly above a whisper.

Junie gave a little laugh, and his spirit soared. "So are you."

Greg smiled, and then laughed. "I know that's not true. But it's nice of you to say it."

Junie leaned closer. "I like the way you look."

Greg sighed again, and looked up at me. "I think I'm in love."

"I hope so," I said. "Because I think if you give some of it to Junie, you're gonna get some back."

Greg gave his head a little shake, and smiled at Junie. "Can I get a hug, just so I know you're serious?"

The speed with which Junebug surged forward into Greg's arms probably said it all. The impact caused Greg to slide off the bed and sit down hard on the floor; and then he and Junie were rolling together on the carpet, laughing. I was suddenly struck by how many times I had seen the two of them doing the same thing on the football field; but I had just never paid any attention to it. Guys rumble on the field all the time. I never understood that Greg and Junie doing it might have some meaning. Yet viewed now, without the pads, and the helmets, and the uniforms, it seemed to carry a lot of meaning.

Greg was a little bigger, and probably stronger, but he let Junie wrestle him onto his back. And then Junie was laying atop Greg, his face just inches above Greg's, grinning down into Greg's eyes.

Donnie came over to me and put an arm around me, and I kissed him, and looked back at the pair on the floor.

Greg grinned. "I got a rule about people laying on top of me, you know. They usually get kissed."

Junebug dropped his face down, and kissed Greg. It was just a quick peck on the lips, a questing first toe in the water; but Greg broke into such a grin it was funny. And then he was lifting his head and pecking Junie back; and then they went back and forth, grinning and laughing and pecking each other. And then Junie dropped his face and it stayed there, and that kiss was a long one.

Greg hugged Junie mightily, and Junie laid his face into Greg's cheek and sighed.

"I thought you weren't gay, Greg," I said, grinning.

He grinned back at me. "I don't think I am."

I laughed. "Well, then what do you call that?"

Greg turned his head and looked into Junie's eyes, and Junie looked patiently back. Greg laughed. "Um...I'll let you know in a month or so, okay?"

Donnie laughed, and squeezed himself against me.

I nodded. Fair was fair. "I'll ask again in a month, okay?"

Greg nodded. "That should be long enough."

And then he kissed Junie again.