Dichotomy of Love - 18. Part Two. Chapter Six.

There were better things to do at midnight than to be crouched over luggage bags, sorting dirty clothes from clean clothes, toys, souvenirs, and all the things it took to survive two weeks in Hawaii with four kids, but Kyan was done. He didn’t want to wake up to this disaster, so he shuffled around the living room like the Hunchback until he had the kids’ empty luggage lined up neatly by the garage door, ready for storage, a load of laundry running in the washer, and all their trinkets in piles and ready to be put away in the morning.

Kyan stretched his poor back and groaned as his vertebrae popped like candy rocks. His own bag sat neglected, the seams barely holding itself together. If Perry hadn’t given him his rainbow luggage strap before they left, it probably would’ve popped open on its travels back to Oregon. But it was time for bed. He would finish unpacking his stuff tomorrow when Perry came over.

Perry. Kyan turned on his heel and went to the kitchen pantry. He cracked open a can of pineapple chunks, stabbed a piece with a fork, and took a selfie as he stuffed it in his mouth.

Come over tomorrow night? He typed out as he swallowed the juicy fruit. Kyan figured Perry was passed out, but the three dots popped up almost immediately.

Perry: I could always come by tonight… jk. Unless….

Kyan: Yes…?

Perry: It’s almost 1am. Past your bedtime.

Kyan: If we were in Hawaii, it would only be 10pm

Perry: LOL still past your bedtime.

Kyan smiled as he crawled into bed, thankful he washed his sheets before he left. He typed out another message. Since when do you care about my bedtime?

Perry: I don’t. But tell me you’re not in bed and that you wouldn’t be sound asleep by the time I got there.

Kyan yawned, then laughed. But you’d be here when I wake up.

Perry: Solid argument

Kyan stared at the phone wistfully. He really wished Perry was there. Tomorrow? All I’ve thought about for the past few days is sucking your dick.

Perry: Even when we had to clean up vomit and diarrhea?

Kyan: Do you want me to suck your dick or not? It seems like maybe you don’t.

Perry: Yes please. Then he wrote, In all seriousness, I wasn’t lying when I said I’d come over tonight. I’d drive over right now if you wanted, and not just for the aforementioned reasons…

The hairs on Kyan’s arms tingled. Perry was probably blushing as he found the courage to type such a simple yet sweet message. Kyan smothered his face in the pillow as he smiled like a stupid fool in love.

He had it bad.

His heart beat wildly as he replied. He was tempted to fish for all the reasons Perry would come over at one in the morning, but he wasn’t fifteen anymore.

Kyan: Maybe tomorrow night you can stay over for the reason I mentioned and also for other reasons…

Perry: Mhmm. All the reasons…
Perry: Can’t wait
Perry: I could probably lie here and chat all night but I know you’re about to pass out. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?

Kyan: Technically I’ll see you later today.

Perry: Even better. Night.

Kyan: Night…

****

It was six in the morning. Kyan had hoped he’d get a few days on Hawaiian time before he adjusted back, but apparently, his body was eager for things to return to normal.

When he tried to reach his phone on the charger, a strong, tanned arm pulled him back. Kyan looked behind him and grinned. “You came.”

With his eyes closed, Perry nodded.

“What time did you get here? I didn’t even wake up.”

Perry sleepily covered Kyan’s mouth. “Shhh. It’s still sleepy-time,” he said in a deep rumble.

Absolutely not. There was no going back to sleep for Kyan. Perry came over in the middle of the night just to be with him. He lay on his side and watched Perry with absolute adoration.

Dating hadn’t been on his radar after Dayna. Why would it be? Who would want to date a single dad of four small kids, anyway?

Perry. That’s who.

They weren’t even really dating, officially, and if something happened to Perry, Kyan’s reasons for not dating would be different. Who could compare to that man? No one would be good enough to fill those size elevens.

Perry knew what Kyan needed before Kyan even knew. Not even Dayna had that kind of foresight. It was like Perry had a cheat book on Kyan’s life. It wasn’t fair.

Kyan wanted Perry’s cheat codes.

He kissed Perry, barely touching his lips. Just a ghost of a kiss because he didn’t want to wake him, but one ‘barely kiss’ wasn’t enough. It was like having a tiny taste of banana pudding when you wanted the entire pan.

Kyan sighed and lightly traced Perry’s shirtless body with his finger. Over his shoulders, across his chest, down his stomach. Ugh. Why was Perry sleeping? Kyan could think of other things to do.

He pulled the sheet back a little and, oh. Ohhhh.

Perry was naked.

Kyan beamed at his good luck and then shimmied under the covers until he was face-to-face with Perry’s pineapple juicer. He wrapped his hand around Perry’s soft penis and let it flop a little side-to-side, feeling the weight. He licked it, tentatively at first, to get a taste and feel for it, and then with more purpose as it hardened in his hand.

There was a chance Perry would be mad that he wasn’t conscious during Kyan’s first blowjob. Oh well. There was no stopping now. Kyan wrapped his lips around it, seeing how much he could take. It felt like a lot. He knew he wasn’t anywhere near deep-throating, but it felt like it.

Without the pressure of performance, Kyan felt free to enjoy himself. It was fun and empowering. He lapped and sucked and tried his best to treat Perry’s iron dick like a decadent ice cream cone on a hot summer day. Kyan pulled the skin down, caressed the crown with his tongue and then took it into his mouth again. Perry's breathing became labored and his leg twitched.

Perry hauled Kyan up by his shoulders.

Perspiration dotted Perry’s forehead and dampened his black hair. “What are you doing?” he gritted out, his eyes wild with unbridled need.

“Giving you a blowjob.”

“No kidding.”

Kyan kissed Perry’s nose and then slid down his body. He wasn’t done. Kyan barely got Perry back in his mouth when he was pulled up again.

Kyan frowned. “I’m starting to think you don’t want me to suck your dick.”

Perry grabbed Kyan and flipped them around so he was hovering on top of him. “Oh, I do. It’s just, I’m really close, and I’d like to actually be awake and enjoy it.” Perry peeled Kyan’s baby blue boxer briefs off, gave him a couple of courtesy strokes, and slowly sucked him down.

Kyan closed his eyes and enjoyed the fruits of Perry’s extensive knowledge of blowing his mind. Fucking cheat codes. But this time, he took notes when Perry applied suction and how his tongue felt as it wrapped around Kyan’s dick. Perry used his teeth at one point, an advanced move Kyan was not ready for.

When Perry finally pulled off, Kyan was a panting mess of pre-orgasmic need, like a young vampire with no control. He flipped them over and took Perry as far down his throat as he could, sucking and lapping while his hands clawed and grabbed at Perry’s hips and thighs because he couldn’t stop himself.

With Perry’s dick in his mouth, Kyan looked up. Perry’s eyes were fierce and full of lust.

Mhmm. Kyan opened his mouth wide, letting Perry rest on his tongue, then slowly moved his tongue around it, tasting the salty pre-cum. He felt slutty, showing off like that.

Perry stroked Kyan’s jaw with his thumb and took a careful breath. “I’m close.”

Kyan was going to let him finish in his mouth, but pulled off as Perry squirted several ropes onto his stomach. He immediately regretted chickening out. There was no reason except nerves.

Perry went limp, melting into the mattress. Kyan fucking did that. The first time with his mouth on someone’s dick, and he kind of killed it.

Perry made a deep, throaty noise and hoisted Kyan to straddle his chest. He held Kyan’s hips where he wanted him, with his hard dick waving in Perry’s face.

Oh God. Kyan dropped his head back and moaned as Perry ran his tongue along his length and drew him into his mouth. It didn’t take Kyan long to come.

Sated, he snuggled in and rested his head on Perry’s chest, listening to the man’s heart as it slowed. Kyan drew swirly-curly patterns over Perry’s chest, enjoying the fact he was there.

Perry took a deep breath in and let it out, like he was releasing every burden ever put on his shoulders. He closed his eyes, ran his hand down Kyan’s back, and squeezed his butt cheek affectionately. Kyan smiled, and then Perry slipped his finger in his ass. Well, not in his ass, but he parked it right on the curb. Just chilling, as if that particular finger placement brought Perry great comfort. The same way holding Kyan’s ear while she ate calmed Ava when she was an infant.

Kyan wanted to ask about the blowjob. Did he do as good as he thought? What could he have done differently? How could he blow Perry’s mind to smithereens? But he couldn’t ask because Perry was already halfway to dreamland. Kyan propped up on an elbow and watched Perry drift away.

Every now and then, Perry’s hand would twitch, the one parked on the curb. It made Kyan think of certain things they’d do at some point, making his body flush. He wanted to be with Perry in every way possible, especially that way.

Once Perry started snoring, Kyan slowly rolled out of bed, careful not to disturb him. He got dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie, because Oregon in late December was much cooler than Hawaii, and tiptoed to the living room.

As the sun rose behind a rain cloud-cast sky, so did his kids. One by one, they shuffled out of their rooms and crowded on the sofa, where they vegged under a pile of blankets in front of the television while Kyan switched laundry and put things away.

Between loads, he checked the refrigerator for breakfast. He turned a pack of sausage over. Expired. Eggs. Expired. Bacon. Not expired, but the hazy film was questionable.

Kyan smashed the food into the bottom of the garbage can as Perry came lumbering out of their room. He went straight to the living room, lifted the blankets from the kids’ comfy nest, laid on top of them, and covered himself like he was settling in for the rest of the movie.

“Daaad! Help us! Perry is killing us!” Henry cried out.

Noah moaned. “He weighs eleven million pounds!”

Ava giggled as her brothers cried out. Meanwhile, Gracie felt left out, so she let out the most headache-inducing scream.

“Ohmygod,” Perry groaned in pain, wiggling a finger in his ear. “I’m out of here.”

The kids cheered.

Perry walked to Kyan, glanced back to check that the kids were occupied, and quickly kissed Kyan on the cheek. “Good morning.”

“I did my best work earlier, and all I get is a ‘good morning’?”

Perry bounced on his toes and looked toward the living room again, cursing under his breath. Kyan laughed. The kids were right in their line of sight. He grabbed Kyan’s hand and pulled him towards the garage door, which was out of their field of vision, and kissed him square on the lips, then wrapped his arms around him. “It was the best morning ever. I must insist we sleep together every night.”

Kyan hugged him back, smiling goofily. “Fine with me. I need to practice anyway. I want to be the best.” He leaned back, peeking around the corner at his kids. Their eyes were glued to the television. “Your finger placement earlier got me really thinking about other things we could do.”

“Is that right?” Perry asked, trying not to smile.

“Yeah, if you want.”

He shoved his hand down the back of Kyan’s pants to slip his finger in the same spot as earlier, and whispered in his ear. “Oh, I want.”

Kyan’s eyes fluttered close as Perry applied pressure.

“Dad!” The men sprung apart as Ava came around the corner. “I’m hungry.”

“Oh. Of course,” he said, fidgeting with the luggage against the wall as if Ava even cared what they were doing. “I’ll get right on that.”

“Pancakes?”

“Sure.”

Ava smiled and skipped back to the living room. Kyan and Perry looked at each other and laughed. It was a close call.

Kyan started pancakes while Perry ran to the little corner store for a package of overpriced sausage patties for the kids.

He watched Perry sit with the kids and wondered when he was first attracted to his best friend. Maybe unconsciously, it had been from day one. It would explain why he always gravitated to Perry, always found everything he did to be amazing, and thought everything he said was funny and profound. Maybe it was because Kyan was desperate for friendship, or maybe Perry was too perfect not to harbor feelings for.

It didn’t matter. Kyan wasn’t looking for friendship anymore.

He didn’t know how it would work. His parents wouldn’t take the news well. He didn’t think they were homophobic, but they were Kyanphobic, always looking for something to be irritated about. Too bad. He didn’t care anymore. He hadn’t even sent them in an email in over five months.

Kyan also didn’t think Jed and Trudy would be thrilled. They wouldn’t disown him, but there would be fallout for betraying Dayna. Jessica would likely be okay. She’d give him the side eye for a while, probably give Perry a hard time, but she would understand. He hoped.

The kids would be excited to have Perry around all the time, so there was that.

Kyan rinsed a rag out and cleaned the counters. They needed to figure out the logistics sooner rather than later.

****

The rest of the day was quiet. It rained, but after fourteen days in Hawaii, no one cared. Perry helped Kyan wash and fold laundry while the kids watched TV and played with their toys. Perry left and returned with enough groceries to get them through a couple of days, then made lunch for everyone. After eating at restaurants for two weeks, Kyan worried the kids wouldn’t want normal, homemade food, but they devoured their boring sandwiches with vigor.

Every private moment they had, Kyan had his tongue in Perry’s mouth. The kissing got more intense as the day wore on. By the time everyone huddled in the living room for one last movie, Kyan could hardly keep to himself. He pressed his leg against Perry’s and rubbed his toes against Perry’s foot.

Perry slipped his hand under the blanket and rubbed his thumb against Kyan’s thigh.

It felt like the movie would never end, but the second the music climaxed, Kyan was off the sofa. He picked up a sleeping Gracie, laid her in bed, and then returned for Henry. The movie had officially ended, so he ushered Ava and Noah to their rooms.

He locked the front door and turned off the lights. When he turned around, Perry stood in the living room, smiling at Kyan’s eagerness.

“Oh, like you’re not excited!”

“I’m plenty excited.” He grabbed Kyan’s hips and pulled him flush against his front. “See?”

There went Kyan’s heart again, beating out of control. Perry was looking at him with the sweetest, cockiest little smirk there was, and his eyes twinkled in the soft lighting. Kyan felt deeply desired.

He pulled Perry into the bedroom, locked the door, and pulled off his shirt and sweatshirt, revealing the most perfectly smooth and tanned skin. He and Perry stared at one another, smiling like teenagers, as Kyan slowly unbuttoned Perry’s jeans and pushed them down.

“You’re so fucking hot,” he said as Perry crawled backward onto the bed wearing only his black boxer briefs. Gone were the Oregon tan lines. Perry was browned like a perfectly cooked marshmallow.

Perry leaned on one elbow and adjusted his cloth-covered crotch with his other hand. “You know these have to disappear if we’re going—”

“Dad!” Gracie sobbed from the other side of the door. “Daaaadd-eee!”

The fear in her voice had Kyan scrambling out of bed as quickly as he could, tripping when his foot caught in the sheet. He stumbled across the room, pulling on underwear as he went. When he opened the door, poor Gracie stood there, tears running down her face. He scooped her up and squeezed her tightly.

“What’s wrong, sweet girl?”

“I—I—I—” she stuttered, too distraught to piece together any more words. She wrapped her arms around Kyan’s neck.

“Did you have a scary dream?” he asked.

She cried into Kyan’s neck and nodded her head. “Big monster.”

“Dreams are so mean sometimes. They make us think things are real when they aren’t.”

“I sleep with you.”

Kyan was already carrying her to bed. “Of course.”

“And Perry,” she added.

Kyan set her in the middle of the bed, next to Perry, who’d slipped into a pair of Kyan’s pajamas. He wiped the tears from her cheek and kissed her forehead. “Anytime,” he told her. Gracie clung to Perry’s chest, and he looked at Kyan with a little awe and wonder. There was no higher praise than being a safe place of comfort to a child.

Sandwiched between her favorite men, it didn’t take long for Gracie to fall back to sleep. Kyan lay on his side, staring at Perry. A child had once again waylaid their plans. At this rate, they’d never do all the things he wanted to do.

“Are you mad?” he asked, whispering over Gracie’s head.

Perry reached over and held Kyan’s hand. “Remember when we skirted around ‘all the reasons’ last night? Well, this is one of them. As much as I want to do everything with you, I love this. Besides, we have time. I’m not going anywhere.”

They played with each other’s fingers, grinning, until Kyan couldn’t keep his eyes open. He couldn’t remember ever being happier as he fell asleep.

****

The next day, Kyan brushed against Perry before he went to work, discreetly touching him, teasing, laughing, and smiling in a new and exciting way. They stole kisses and grabbed each other’s asses when no one was looking.

After three days in the house, it was time for a change. Kyan and the kids packed some bags, went grocery shopping, and headed to Perry’s house.

The rain came down in buckets, but that didn’t stop the kids. They ran outside to play as soon as they put their pint-sized backpacks in the house, stuffed with crap they probably didn’t need.

Perry patted a spot on the patio sofa, hooked his foot around Kyan’s, and smiled as they watched the kids burn off all that excess energy. “Jess called before you got here. Apparently, they're all coming over tomorrow night for the New Year’s party.”

Kyan sighed. Christmas had been a nuclear disaster of projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea. It swept through the kids just as quickly as if they were in school or daycare. Thank you, Norovirus. The hotel temporarily closed certain areas to do a deep clean and disinfect everything. All because someone didn’t have enough common sense to wash their hands after going to the bathroom. Thankfully, Santa had already wrapped the presents for the kids. Even in their miserable states, they still found a small reserve of excitement on Christmas morning. Jed and Trudy were lifesavers. Santa’s elves had nothing on them. Once everyone was on the mend, Kyan promised the kids they could stay up and celebrate New Year’s Eve with the grown-ups. Not that he didn’t want to see everyone, but he was enjoying the bubble he and Perry were in. He liked the freedom they had when there was no one around.

Perry laughed. “Don’t get too excited.”

“I thought you’d be my New Year’s kiss this year.”

“I still can be.”

“Well, not if your family’s here. That would put a kink in things.”

“Eh. I doubt they’d care.”

Kyan scoffed. “They wouldn’t care that their son-in-law, the father of their grandbabies, and the husband of their late daughter is with their son now? I find that hard to believe.”

“With their son?” Perry asked, his eyes sparkling, only hearing part of what Kyan said, apparently.

“I mean…” A wave of panic washed over him, but it quickly receded. It wasn’t just him. Perry was the one that mentioned ‘all the reasons’. “Right?”

Perry’s smile was bashful and happy, burning brighter than a thousand suns. “Yeah.” He all but melted into the sofa. “You’re with their son.”

Kyan shoved Perry’s leg with his foot and laughed. “Am I wrong?”

Smiling, Perry shook his head.

“Good. I want this to work. I know our situation is a little more complex than normal, but I don’t want to screw things up.”

Perry rested his hand on Kyan’s leg and squeezed. “Don’t stress about it. As long as we’re honest and open, it will be fine.”

“You’re the one who sucks at communicating.”

Perry looked away, his ears turning red. “Sometimes, yeah, but not with you. We can talk about everything.”

“Even your sister?”

There were many things unsaid because Dayna was a weird elephant in the room. If Kyan had fallen for anyone else, he would have talked openly about Dayna. She had been his entire life. Every sexual experience was with her, and yet he couldn’t talk about certain things with Perry because it was weird to compare siblings.

“Of course.”

“Even sexually?” he hedged.

“Of course.”

“So, you’re fine with me detailing every blowjob she ever gave me?”

“Sure. In fact, let’s start now. 3-2-1 and go! And now we’re done because you already told me no one has given you one… except me.”

Kyan laughed and punched Perry, then pressed himself against the smartass, feeling the rise and fall of his chest.

The sun came out just in time for them to watch it disappear behind the house as the kids came bounding up to the porch looking like wet ASPCA animals.

Their routine wasn’t any different from at home. The kids bathed and brushed their teeth. Instead of heading to the theater room, they went to the spare rooms, which were now fully furnished. A detail that earned Perry a sneaky little kiss when no one was looking.

The only thing more exciting than finding new dressers and bunk beds in the spare rooms was crawling into Perry’s bed and inhaling his intoxicating scent, like Perry-scented Tide. This was Kyan’s home away from home.

Perry came out of the ensuite bathroom. He took one look and dove into bed, covering Kyan with his body. “This is the best my bed has ever looked.”

Dark hair fell over brilliant green eyes and his smile was warm and confident.

He couldn’t agree more. Perry’s bed had never looked so good.

 ****

Jessica dumped a giant bag of New Year’s-themed junk onto the counter. Sunglasses, shiny hats, confetti poppers, plastic flutes, and God knows what else. The kids dug through the treasures and decked themselves out.

Trudy and Jed brought enough finger foods to feed an army, which was unnecessary considering it was just them at this last-minute soiree. They didn’t even have time to invite Max and Keegan, which would’ve be weird. Kyan really needed to sit down with Max right away. He couldn’t keep this from his friend for any longer.

When every person in the room looked like a poster person for the cheesy slogan ‘New Year, New Me’, they loaded plates with food.

Henry skipped the produce and went straight for the bacon-wrapped weenies.

Jessica ruffled his hair. “You need at least one fruit and one veggie.”

He huffed. “But I don’t like ‘em.”

“You should keep trying them because our tastes change as we get older. A fruit or veggie you didn’t like last year might be yummy this year now that you're bigger.”

Henry rolled his eyes and scanned the selection. “Uncle Perry, what’s dat veggie you like the most?”

“Uh, carrot sticks?”

“No, the one you love! ‘Member? Egg vegetable.”

Perry wracked his brain. “Egg vegetable?”

“Eggplant?” Jessica offered, having no clue what she was about to walk into.

Henry’s eyes lit up. “Yes! That’s it. Is there eggplant? Uncle Perry said it’s so good and it’s his most favorite vegetable ever. Even Dad loves it now! He didn’t when he was little like me, but he said he tried it, and now he loves it.”

Kyan turned to Perry for help, but he was trying—and failing—not to laugh, as was Charlie, who slipped off her barstool and onto the floor, which was probably for the best because Jessica was eyeing her brother suspiciously, trying to figure out what she was missing.

The last thing Kyan wanted was for everyone to know what was happening between him and Perry, so he went straight to damage control. “Maybe we’ll cook eggplant parm next week.” He offered. “We have to slice it and dry it out first, but it’s really good. Plus, it has a lot of cheese. There is also a really good lasagna made with eggplant.”

“Oh, I love stuffed eggplant,” Trudy said, her eyes bright with excitement, either used to her kids behaving badly or simply not caring. “It’s so good.”

Charlie and Perry laughed harder.

Jessica’s face clicked with realization, and she covered her mouth with both hands.

Kyan ignored them and pressed forward. “Send me the recipe.”

“I have a lot of great eggplant recipes. It’s one of Jed's favorite veggies as well. That’s probably where Perry gets it from.”

Kyan closed his eyes and clenched his jaw while the others howled in laughter. It was bad enough Charlie and Jessica understood the reference. He did not want Trudy and Jed to figure it out.

Gracie accidently dropped her plate of food, sending weenies, chips, and ranch flying everywhere. The topic of eggplants was forgotten, mostly. Charlie couldn’t stop giggling every time she looked at Kyan. Other than that, it looked like he would make it through the night unscathed.

At ten til midnight, Charlie filled the flutes with sparkling cider. She handed them out. Having no idea what they were for, the kids drank theirs immediately.

“No,” Charlie said with a laugh. “You have to wait until midnight!”

Of course, whatever Charlie says goes. She refilled their flutes; this time, they held them with bated breath while the clock counted down the final seconds.

“Five. Four. Three. Two. One!”

Everyone lifted their glasses. “Happy New Year!”

“Happy New Year!” The kids echoed a few seconds later. They giggled and drank their ciders, just happy to be part of something fun.

“Come here, you,” Jed said as he pulled his wife in for a kiss.

Jessica leaned over and kissed Charlie on the cheek and then did the same to each of the kids, making sure the kisses were loud and exaggerated.

“Yuck!” Noah wiped his cheek off. “What was that for?”

“It’s a tradition to kiss someone at midnight!”

Ava perked up, her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “You have to kiss someone?”

“You don’t have to.”

She turned to Kyan and tilted her head. Her little face scrunched up. “Why didn’t you kiss Uncle Perry?”

“Why would I do that?”

“You kiss him all the time. All day long. Kiss, kiss, kiss.”

The room went completely silent. The only sound was Kyan’s stomach dropping.