Dichotomy of Love - 14. Part Two. Chapter Two.

Trust-fund Gracie in her Hawaiian dress and french-braids, stood absolutely fear stricken as her chosen Moana show tune played without her. Kyan knew it was a fifty-fifty shot when she got up there. Her siblings nailed their performances, so Gracie was convinced she would, too.

It took a lot of restraint not to rush to her rescue, but Kyan held off. Gracie knew she could walk off the stage if she wanted, or ask for help. Her eyes darted to Perry, silently pleading for him, not her dad, to help.

Kyan’s heart thumped as Perry began rapping Maui’s lines as he stood, working the crowd like it was the plan from the start. Gracie’s expression brightened, and her lips silently followed along as she clutched the microphone with both hands.

Perry kneeled next to her. He leaned into the mic so they could share the spotlight.

Reid, who was singing along and laughing, held out his hand like a front-row Taylor Swift fan. Kyan rolled his eyes at the blatant grab for attention. He didn’t miss the heat in Reid’s eyes every time he looked at Perry … which is why Kyan had confided in them about his budding relationship with Perry.

Despite Kyan obviously marking his territory, Reid was begging for an invitation to Perry’s room. The man needed to wipe the drool from his face. It was disgusting.

“Take a breath,” Liam whispered. “You have no reason to go to war. Perry hasn’t looked twice at Reid since we arrived. Even if he had, Reid isn’t interested. He might say he is and act like he is, but if Perry threw himself at him, Reid would step to the side and watch Perry fall on his face. Not that it matters, because Perry only has eyes for you, you lucky bastard.”

The music ended, and Perry set the mic down. Gracie darted to Trudy, burying her head in her grandma’s lap while everyone clapped.

“It’s not like that,” Kyan said as his eyes tracked Perry. “I might not like Reid being all over Perry, but if Perry was interested, I wouldn’t stand in his way. We’re just friends.”

“Oh, the tangled web we weave.”

“I’m serious.” Kyan huffed at his new friend. He’d shared his life story with strangers as a way to claim Perry, but it turned into more. He enjoyed the connections and Liam was easy to talk to, as expected from a middle school counselor,

Liam faced Kyan. “Bro, I have no skin in this game, so you don’t have to lie to me and I sure as hell ain’t gonna lie to you. I see the way you watch that man, and I see the way he watches you. Don’t play dumb. Life is too short for fucking games.”

Kyan sighed. “Even if you’re right, it’s not that simple. There’s Dayna to think about, and I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“It’s only complicated if you make it that way. You like him. That’s all that matters. And so what if he’s Dayna’s brother? Who are you going to find that loves your kids more than him? No one in this world. Besides, I’ve seen the way his family looks at you.”

“And how is that?”

“Like you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Kyan wasn’t sure about that. Dayna’s family was all he had. They might not take well to Kyan jumping from one sibling to another. They might think it was just a ploy to… God. Kyan could barely say the words to himself without feeling gutted. He prayed none of them thought he would get involved with Perry because the man was providing for Kyan and the kids. Or something worse.

Like being attracted to Perry to stay close to Dayna’s memory.

The thought made him shudder. It couldn’t be further from the truth.

Kyan definitely had feelings for Perry. He couldn’t wait for Perry to get off work, and when they were together, his fingers itched to touch the dark-haired man. He couldn’t help himself. If he could spend every minute pressed against him, Kyan would. He’d felt the pull while he was with Dayna. After making the isolating move across the country, he thought it was just a need for male companionship. Not attraction, just brotherly love. Maybe it was both.

Regardless of when it started, the attraction was more than platonic.

Liam leaned in. His features pinched as if he knew the fear Kyan was feeling. He opened his mouth at the same time Perry walked over. He bumped Liam with his knee to warn him. Liam looked at Perry, then turned and chatted with Troy.

Kyan's heart raced at the near collision.

He held out his fist for Perry to bump. “Nicely done,” he praised as Perry returned to the spot next to him. “All those nights you sat through Moana really paid off. You gave Dwayne Johnson a run for his money.”

Perry rolled his eyes. “I don’t know about that.”

“Well, I do.” Kyan stuck out his tongue.

Perry made a face back.

On the stage, diva Ava held the mic with both hands and smiled brightly in her dark pink polo dress as the melody for Let it Go began. Kyan smiled as she looked at him nervously. You got this! he mouthed.

The entire group sang with her, making her beam like a million bucks as she tried to hit the high notes.

Liam and his friends took turns at the mic between the kids, sticking to the animated-kids’-movie-musical theme. They hardly seemed put off by the limited selection. If anything, they seemingly enjoyed it. Almost as much as they enjoyed making the kids feel like rock stars every time their names were called.

It was late. Gracie was getting agitated, irritated that her songs were not being picked consecutively. She growled at Noah. When she pinched Henry for no apparent reason, Kyan sighed and pushed off his chair. “I have a feeling it’s bedtime.”

He glanced at Perry and waited for Perry to excuse himself, but he was too busy chatting with Reid. Kyan didn’t try to hide the contempt in his expression as he gathered his kids. It had been a long day for him, too.

Gracie threw herself on the ground when Kyan tried to pick her up, compounding his irritation. Then Ava and Henry played keep away when Kyan tried to herd them to the door. They weren’t done singing.

“C’mere.” Perry came out of nowhere and hefted the twins into his arms. “I’m sure everyone here would love to do this again another night.”

“Of course, we will do this again!” Tony said. He gave his friends a stern look until they nodded along, assuring the kids they’d do it again.

They grabbed the rest of their stuff as the next song began.

Liam stood with the microphone, staring at Kyan.

There you see her
Sitting there across the way
She don't got a lot to say
But there's something about her
And you don't know why
But you're dying to try
You wanna kiss the girl

Tony and a couple of other guys joined in as backup, smiling suggestively, not at all concerned that Perry’s family might catch on. He glanced their way, but his in-laws were chatting happily with Noah, and Charlie and Jessica were looking at Charlie’s phone intently, possibly preparing their next duet. He hoped it was that and not them avoiding awkward eye contact.

Then he looked at Perry, whose face read like the climactic scene in every teen movie where the main character is hung by their underwear in front of the school. The poor guy looked like he was about to combust. Kyan imagined he was just as terrified of his parents finding out.

While the guys sha-la-la-la-la-la’d at Kyan and Perry’s expense, Trudy and Jed stood approached, both holding Noah’s hands. “We’ll walk up with you guys. If the kids are done, then we’re done.”

Kyan shot one last glare at Liam, who grinned proudly at his work. Discretely flipping the wannabe boy band the bird only provoked them, and the further away Kyan got, the louder they sang, until the elevator doors closed, drowning out the music completely.

By the time they reached their floor, Gracie lay limp on Kyan’s shoulder. At their room, Trudy and Jed bid them farewell.

Kyan stripped Gracie down, wrangled her into her sleep shirt and laid her in bed. He wished he could trade places with Perry and help the twins brush their teeth and get ready for bed instead, because he didn’t think of Dayna every time he looked at them, the way he did with Gracie. And Kyan didn’t want to think of Dayna as he got ready to take things to the next level with Perry.

Lately, he found it harder to remember Dayna the way he had. Kyan was beginning to think life with her wasn’t as perfect as he made himself believe. He loved her, he really did, but in hindsight, those warm and fuzzies were becoming muddled.

There was never a conversation about her moving to Cincinnati. It’s not like Kyan would have agreed to it, there wasn’t anything there for them, but it was never even brought up. Kyan was happy to leave Ohio, to leave his family behind. He was happy to follow Dayna. He realized now his reasons might not have been so altruistic. His wife was his escape route.

In Molalla, life revolved around Dayna. He was happy to support her, but it truly was all about Dayna being pregnant, going to school, balancing a family life, work life, and social life. Kyan sacrificed everything so she could have it all. He didn’t mind.

Well, he thought he didn’t mind, but then Perry waltzed in and was so fucking awesome all the time. It made Kyan realize how little he got in return from his wife. If it was so easy for Perry to consider Kyan’s wants, needs, and feelings, why wasn’t it second nature for Dayna?

Why wasn’t Dayna the best sex he ever had? It should have been. It was fine. Very enjoyable for him at the time.

But Dayna’s body didn’t light Kyan’s fire the way Perry’s did. He couldn’t remember being giddy and excited to do sexy things with Dayna. So what if they didn’t experiment with different positions or explore each other’s bodies more with hands and tongues?

Fuck.

Kyan stopped himself. It didn’t feel right to compare the two, and it felt worse to remember Dayna negatively. Even if things weren’t perfect, he loved her. He regretted nothing. If Kyan could do it all over, he wouldn’t change a thing.

But he wouldn’t change what was happening between him and Perry either, because it was unlike anything he ever felt. Exhilaration, euphoria, anxiety, panic, excitement. He was all over the place when it came to Perry.

When Perry looked at him and touched him. Oh Lord. It set him on fire.

His breath hitched as his chest tightened at the realization—it was what he should have felt with his wife. Maybe he had. He definitely felt things. Nervous. He’d been nervous around Dayna. She was a force, a little intimidating at times.

Perry was easy.

Kyan brushed back Gracie’s messy hair, and kissed her forehead. He turned and tucked the other three in. Their eyelids were heavy, and their blinks were long.

By the time he turned off the lights, they were all out cold.

Kyan followed Perry across the threshold to his bedroom and closed the door behind them. The click of the lock rang like a gong in the night.

He leaned his back against the door and looked at Perry, who had turned and stood a few feet in front of him. His heart thumped wildly. “So…”

Perry laughed into his hands. His black wavy hair was still combed neatly to the side like Clark Kent, or Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid, according to his kids, and he was just so… stunning. Handsome, obviously, but so much more than that. Kyan never thought his heart would beat like this for a man, but he couldn’t deny it did.

Kyan rubbed suddenly damp palms against his thighs. “Why are we being so weird?”

The tips of Perry’s sun-kissed ears turned pink in the dimly lit room. “Because you’re making it weird! You had to bring the kiss up like it’s no big deal, tell strangers about it, and then let them sing that stupid song in front of everyone.”

“Do you even want to kiss me?” Kyan asked. The way Perry reacted when he brought it up two weeks ago had given him a positive impression, but it wouldn’t be the first time he misread a situation. “If you don’t—”

Perry stepped forward, caging Kyan against the door, and slid his hand along his jaw. “Of course I do,” he whispered against Kyan’s lips, his breath hot and steamy.

God, Kyan had never swooned before, but Perry’s gaze burned like a smoldering fire and Kyan found it hard to breathe.

Perry gripped his chin, keeping Kyan’s mouth still as he taunted him with the promise of a kiss that would change everything he knew about himself, about his life, and about love.

Kyan shook with need. Just do it, he begged silently as they looked each other in the eyes. He’d already waited for what seemed like forever and wouldn’t survive another minute without tasting Perry’s lips.

His best friend hesitated, and then pressed his lips against Kyan’s, slow but firm.

Kyan melted. He opened his mouth, slid his tongue against Perry’s, and, oh God. He dug his fingers into Perry’s shoulders to keep his knees from buckling out from under him.

This wasn’t the hormone-driven kiss of teenagers in the backseat of a beat-up Toyota Corolla. It was years of feelings simmering below the surface, coming to a rolling boil, and Kyan was being tossed about.

Perry ended the kiss and ran his thumb over Kyan’s lower lip, then bit his own lip. His expression was soft,, almost drunk. Kyan leaned forward and touched his nose to Perry’s, enjoying the tender moment.

The blue hue of the resort lights streamed through the balcony’s glass door, turning Perry’s green eyes into pools of teal Caribbean water. Kyan’s brown eyes roamed over the curve of Perry’s jaw, the arch of his nose, the slope of his eyes. Everything about Perry called Kyan with an intensity that made his soul ache.

It was perfect. The perfect moment, and then Perry’s lip curled into a little smirk, and he whispered, “Sh-la-la-la go on and kiss the girl.”

Kyan laughed, grabbed a handful of Perry’s dark silky hair and spun them around, pressing Perry against the door. Kyan crushed his mouth to Perry’s and took what he wanted.

They stumbled across the room, kissing furiously while undressing until they were naked. Kyan shoved Perry onto the bed and crawled up his body, admiring the masculine lines of his chest and biceps and how his stomach trembled with need. God, Kyan wanted him so badly.

He covered Perry’s body with his own and continued kissing until they were both breathless.

Perry leaned up on his elbows. “Is this too much?”

“Not enough.” Kyan shoved him down and stuck his tongue in his mouth. They kissed hot and heavy until Perry held Kyan’s face and slowed things down. Kyan didn’t know what was better; feeling like Perry couldn’t get enough of him or feeling like Perry wanted to savor every inch of him.

Both. Kyan loved both. And he loved he couldn’t get enough of Perry and that he wanted to savor every inch of him, too. It was like a door opened, and the room flooded with light. There was so much Kyan wanted to do. Everything. He wanted to do everything, and he wanted to do it with Perry. He wasn’t sure what that entailed, but he didn’t care.

Perry flipped them over and rutted sensuously against Kyan. Hand jobs had been quick and dirty, but this was amazing. Every nerve ending was on fire as Perry drove him to the end of his rope.

“I’m going to come,” he moaned. His back arched off the bed and his toes curled. Perry pressed Kyan into the mattress with his body and kissed him as they both came against each other.

They lay side-by-side for a while with no words spoken. Unlike last time, it was comfortable. No perceived poor performances or awkward distance. It was the best.

Kyan rolled and draped his leg over Perry’s thighs. “How was kissing better than a handjob?”

“Wait ‘til you’re ready for blowjobs.”

“Fuck.” He glanced at Perry’s cock lying softly on his hip, excited. The thing was a beast. It spent the last while rubbing against Kyan, leaving a trail of cum crumbs as a reminder of what it had conquered.

“We don’t have to,” Perry reminded him. “I think we both know how amazing blowjobs can be, but I also know it can be weird at first, with a guy and not a girl.”

“I will have to take your word on that.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve never had a blowjob,” Kyan said. “Not once.”

Perry’s eyes widened. “Never?”

Kyan shook his head.

Perry stared in utter disbelief, making Kyan laugh.

He rolled Kyan on his back and pinned his arms above his head. “Do you know how bad that makes me want to blow your mind? You don’t even have to reciprocate. I’ll just suck you until your brain leaves your body.”

“You’re already blowing my mind.”

Perry scoffed. “We haven’t even done anything.”

Kyan looked away. “When you get your first real girlfriend pregnant right out of the gate, and then live long distance, you’re not gifted the same learning curve as everyone else. I’m sure this is boring for you—“

“I never said it was boring,” Perry said, his eyes drilling into Kyan’s. “This is not boring.”

“It’s kind of implied. You want to blow my mind and I’m over here like, ‘Hi, how can I disappoint you today?’ ”

Perry shook his head. “You’re incapable of disappointing me.”

“Well, I haven’t attempted to suck your dick yet… so, we’ll see.”

“Should you choose to suck my dick at some point—“

“And I will.”

“It will be the best blowjob I’ve ever had.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“I guess we’ll see.” Perry shifted, lying on his side next to Kyan. He ran his fingers over Kyan’s belly. It felt good. Relaxing.

Kyan closed his eyes and smiled. “What else do you want to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“What else do you want to do in bed? You mentioned blowjobs. What else?”

“Oh, whatever.”

“I’ve never done whatever before,” he joked.

Perry chuckled and kept stroking Kyan’s body. It was making him sleepy. “Do you think you’ll want to… have anal sex?”

Perry’s fingers tripped over themselves. His eyes locked on Kyan. “Do you?”

“With you?” Kyan shrugged. “Yeah. I want to do everything you want to do.”

Kyan rested his head on Perry’s chest, but it wasn’t enough, so he intertwined their legs. Instinctively, they wrapped their arms around each other and burrowed as deep as they could go until you couldn’t tell one from the other.

They say love is love. It is—and it isn't. Loving Dayna was simple. It was born of a single night of reckless passion and forged in the flames of an amazing family. Loving Perry was a different story altogether. It started as a deep-seated friendship. A brotherhood that deepened into so much more. It was a realm that Kyan ached to explore.

This wasn’t about sex. It wasn’t about benefits. Kyan was feeling things that dwarfed what he felt for Dayna, and that broke his heart into a million pieces for what he’d had and made it soar with the possibilities of what was yet to come.

The dichotomy was not lost on Kyan.