Special Circumstances - 4. Discoveries

I was nervous on my way to meet Mike. The route I’d chosen to the restaurant in which Mike worked didn’t have any issues, so I was twenty minutes early. I parked in a side street to await a more appropriate time, messaging with Nam to calm my nerves and let time pass. Finally parking my motorbike in the minuscule car park behind the establishment, I arrived at the front door at exactly the right time.

A waiter opened the door for me as I stepped up to the entrance. “You must be Jamie. Please come in. Everything is prepared.”

The restaurant was fine dining, and I felt out of place in my biker gear. The waiter took pity on me and showed me the cloakroom where I was able to change. He then led me to our table. The dining room was beautifully appointed. It was an intimate space, with off white walls, a plush gray carpet, and soft lighting. Its windows allowed in light but the sheer coverings provided privacy from the outside world. The tables were dressed in white linens and adorned with white and cream roses in a crystal vase. The final touch were the wing-back chairs covered in a dove gray brocade.

I couldn’t believe that Mike worked in such a place! It was so far from the cafeteria tables at the station. I sat down gingerly, unused to such finery.

“Gosh.” I sat down and admired the flowers.

“Michael will be with you shortly. May I bring you a cold coke, sir?”

“Yes, please.”

The man came back with a glass of cold coke with ice cubes, exactly as I liked it. I was just thanking him when Mike arrived from the back of the restaurant. I stared as he approached, because he looked even better in his stylish civics than in uniform. I got up to embrace him.

“You’re so handsome. Sorry for staring.”

He beamed at me. “I’m so happy to see you.”

We both took our seats. There was a brief silence which was nearly uncomfortable until I changed that.

“So, what’s on the menu?”

“As you’re a self-declared loser in the kitchen, I’ll spare you most of the details. Suffice to say that we’ll start with a vegetable soup, followed by Beef Bourguignon, and we close with some ice cream. Because we both have to work later, the drinks will be chemically created black wine for you and lemonade for me. I’m sorry that I can’t offer any protein shakes.” He winked.

I lifted the glass with my favourite chemically created black wine for a toast. “To being drastic.”

Mike chuckled and lifted his glass. “To kissing on duty.”

The waiter returned to serve the first course. “Gentlemen, your starters. Dutch mustard soup.” He placed the plates and left us alone.

I took my first spoonful. “Blimey, that’s good.”

“Jamie, you don’t need to pretend. It’s just a simple thick soup.”

“My family’s weekly highlight was going to the local pub for the Sunday roast. All foreign food was the work of the devil, and any vegetable was boiled to buggery. As you know, I survive on ready meals.”

I savoured the soup. Mike chuckled and took some spoonfuls, too.

“Speaking of, tell me about your family.” Mike lifted his eyes to meet mine.

Not my favourite topic. “Do I have to? I’d rather hear more about you.”

“This time, we reverse roles, Constable. I’m asking the questions, and you answer.”

“What did I get myself into here?” I smiled at him.

“A date. With me. I want to get to know you, Jamie Artois.”

The waiter rescued me temporarily as he removed the starter plates.

“There’s not that much to tell. You might have guessed from my French surname, I’m a descendant of Huguenot protestant refugees. My dad is a neighborhood sergeant over in Thames Valley. My mum has always been a housewife. I have two older siblings. What about you?”

Mike sat back and said, “Later. Tell me about your siblings.”

The waiter returned once again and served the main course.

“This smells fantastic.” I tried a small bite. ”And tastes even better! Did you make this?”

He shook his head. “Somehow, I was too nervous to get anything done today. My boss had pity on me and prepared this for us.”

“Really fantastic!”

“No distractions. Siblings, please.” Mike cut into his medium rare beef.

“My sister is six years older than me. She’s a police sergeant in Liverpool.”

“If you now tell me that your brother is a police officer, too, I’ll call you a walking cliché!”

“Talking about cliché, if my parents stared in an election campaign video for the Conservative Party, they’d fit the bill perfectly. Coming back to Rob, no, he isn’t a police officer. To my parent’s eternal despair, my brother is a fashion model.”

He chuckled. “Phew. So, good looks run in the family.”

“My brother is booked well in advance.” I winked.

“I can see that. How are your parents taking to your being gay then?”

“Well, not good would be an understatement. However, it’s not the typical religious bias, just plain conservatism. My sister is successful, but she just isn’t a boy. My brother’s work ranks at the same level as a prostitute in my father’s eyes. So, I was my parents’ last hope to fulfill their dreams. Unfortunately for them, I, the golden boy, turned out to be faulty.”

“You’re not faulty. You’re a great guy!”

“My parents would disagree. No beautiful daughter-in-law or grandchildren to parade around the neighbours.” I dug into the wonderful food. “That’s enough of me for now. Your turn.”

Mike put down his knife and fork. “Fine, okay. My mother is a teacher and my father is an accountant. When I came out, he was a bit miffed that his only child is gay, and it took some convincing by the rest of the family that I’m still the same me who he’d always known. Now, he walks in the the pride march every year. My mum loves everything gay. So much, that it’s sometimes a bit embarrassing.” He chuckled. “Once, she asked my date whether he was top, bottom, or versatile.”

“Blast! She didn’t, did she?”

“Oh, she did. The bloke nearly died of embarrassment. He was redder than a tomato.”

“I can imagine. Poor lad.”

”Now, allow me another question,” Mike said, getting more serious.

I tried humor. “What? Another one? You’re getting greedy here.”

“Yes, one could say that. I know one is not supposed to talk about that on a date, especially the first one, but you’ve told me that you had four relationships that didn’t work out. Tell me more about that.”

“Oh Mike. That’s so Germanic. Straight to the point no matter the costs.”

“You can’t just dangle a piece of information like that in front of me and not expect me to follow up on it. I want to get to know you, Jamie. That’s part of you.”

“Yeah.” I emptied the rest of my glass of coke. “Best you hear it now. I didn’t lie to you when I said that I was bad news.”

“Let me be the judge of that.”

I had been dreading this part of the conversation, but I decided to go for the full story. “My first attempt at love was at police college no less, during basic training. I was eighteen at that time, and I’d never had a girlfriend or a boyfriend for that matter. That was something I’d never considered or thought much about. Yes, I was dreaming about boys, but this love stuff that everyone was always talking about had nothing to do with me. Till I met that bloke on the course. Then, I was so smitten, I couldn’t think about anything else but him. Well, we did hook up and had a secret relationship which was not as secret as we had thought. Had I known about the police rumor mill before joining, I’d have chosen to apply to a different police force than the one in which my dad was a response shift sergeant.”

“I’ve got a feeling about what comes next. I’m almost sorry I asked.”

“No worries. Turned out that all of this teenage drama was not good for my performance in the course. My dad inquired with the trainers why his little golden boy who had read books about policing since he could read was doing so badly. He was told the whole story.”

Mike interrupted. “You mean your trainers outed you to your father?”

I could only nod.

“Oh shit.”

“Indeed. The conversation that evening at home, I really don’t want to recall. The only reason my dad didn’t kick me out of the house at that very moment was the disciplinary action that would’ve followed such an act.”

“And then?”

“I was about to quit, but the course leader organised for me to live in the police barracks for the duration of basic training and then in a room in my first assignment station. Maybe they felt that they needed to make up for their blunder. My then-lover had only been after popping my cherry. He didn’t give me any support, quite the contrary. He distanced himself from the outed gay guy. So, that’s the story of my first love.”

“I’m so sorry, Jamie. It should’ve been something wonderful.” Mike sipped his lemonade.

Now that I had started to share the sad story of my relationships, I figured I’d continue. Mike was still in his seat, wasn’t he?

“Well, my second relationship started out as a wonderful romance. Like you said, the thing everyone should experience. However, being in a relationship with a police officer requires much more understanding than many people realise and are willing to give.”

I looked at Mike. He held my gaze. “Go on.”

“The most obvious issue is the shift work which is subject to sudden change. Planning anything as a couple is difficult. Then there’s the fact that sometimes when I come home, I just want to be left alone. Having a dinner party isn’t really high on my list after a shift where I had to explain a teen’s suicide to their parents. Or I just need to be cuddled without needing to explain or without the ability to give much back, let alone have sex. Well, he didn’t realise and wasn’t willing to give that much.”

I’d nearly finished my food. I did my best to tell my story while enjoying that fantastic dish. Mike stayed silent, probably wanting me to finish undisturbed at my own pace.

“One night when I was out on patrol, I saw him outside a nightclub passionately snogging another guy. Not only that he was doing that, he was doing it in my policing area well knowing that I attended jobs there often. I’d told him enough about the nightclubs in our city. He just didn’t care whether I saw him or not.”

“Jamie, that’s horrible! What a bastard.”

I sighed. That had been painful. “Yes, two years of my life down the drain. That was the last straw for me, and I decided to apply for a transfer to the Met. I’ve learned to never police in your own backyard. Also, my dad was annoying. Our relationship had thawed enough that we were able to tolerate each other at family events. He always needs to know everything. He seemed to be well informed about what and how I was doing in my job.”

“The rumor mill?”

“Yep. My sister had transferred out of our dad’s reach a year earlier. She’d been encouraging me to do the same ever since. However, I hadn’t wanted to make my home situation with David any worse. Go figure.”

“So, you had a fresh start at the Met?”

I nodded. Telling Mike all of this was getting easier. “For the first time, I was more or less happy. I found a good dojo, and I bought a new motorbike. I also started to travel to Germany for holidays. While England is beautiful, the only place to legally race is Germany. It’s an unbeatable feeling to ride a bike at over 160 miles per hour! Gives me a rush similar to sex. I spend most holidays there, going on tour. I even speak passable German to a degree that it doesn’t make the native speakers cringe. That’s very useful for getting to know the locals.”

“I’m sure that I can guess where this is going,” he said, smiling mischievously.

“Sure, you can. One such local was Benjamin. Imagine a motorway service station and me filling up my bike. Then the most handsome tall German chap on a bike stopped at the pump opposite. He was a first time rider and had some issue which I was able to fix. We spent the rest of his holidays riding together as a couple. The last week of mine I spent at his home in Hannover when he was back at work.” My sigh betrayed how I felt. “The long distance thing didn’t work out. I’d put a lot into our relationship, more than he was willing to invest. It was during one call for planning our next visit together that he told me that it was over. Just like that. No explanations.”

“I must say that you aren’t very lucky with men.”

The waiter had brought a new glass of coke. I drank deeply. “Now comes the part that’ll most likely change your opinion of me. I’m sorry.”

“That’s unlikely, but please go ahead. I want to know. All of it.”

“Okay. I’d withdrawn into my shell after my previous breakups, this time, I went on the offensive. Nam had entered my life, and he encouraged me. ‘Go and enjoy being a single gay guy in London’, he said. That’s what I did. My brother, as a fashion model, gets invited to a lot of fancy parties. So, I joined him and started sleeping my way through the London beauty scene. It was surreal being among the rich and the beautiful. Drug heads all of them.”

“Did you partake?”

“You already know. No, I like my job too much to risk being caught. My days of weed and clubbing on ecstasy in Berlin were over by then. The rich are into the serious stuff anyway. I remember two bowls on a table, one with small packs of cocaine, another with all kinds of pills. Must’ve been two grand worth. Makes one wonder. We go after teenagers smoking dope, while the so called elite of our society has drug fueled orgies.”

“Orgies?” Mike fidgeted in his seat somewhat.

“Better not go there. I’ve had a lot of guys. What was that about the one in the know?”

“Damn, you listen to me.”

“You have a beautiful voice.” I smiled at him.

“Charmer. Go on.”

“At one of these parties I met my last boyfriend, Brian. He was an investment banker, and he fulfilled whatever prejudice you can think of. Anyway, I entered a relationship of casual sex with a man ten years older than myself, and he swept me off my feet completely. Totally unexpected. He seemed to care so much. We stayed at his London flat, he bought me presents and clothes, and he didn’t care the least about the restrictions imposed by my job. How much training have you had on domestic violence, coercive control and all that?”

“Specials get the same background training as you regulars do. However, I did it in a different Force. Shouldn’t change the theory, though.”

I considered that for a moment before relating more. “For me, the theory became reality. Brian shaped me to become a manifestation of Leon Scott Kennedy, the main character of his favourite game, the remake of Resident Evil 4. I didn’t realise what was happening. I’d spent hours watching him playing that game. I should try a new haircut, he said, so I did. After all, I was living under his roof, and he was caring for me. He paid, and I did look better. It was all good, wasn’t it? He got me some fancy clothes that would look nice on me, and they did, so I wore them. It made him happy. Well, I realised the hard way that I was nothing but a talking doll for him. He wanted me to do roleplaying. The sexual kind.”

I drank some more coke. This was difficult to speak of, somehow especially to the wonderful man in front of me.

Mike interrupted me, “You don’t need to say anything further, if you don’t want to. I’ve heard that.”

Nam’s voice was in my head, ‘You must own it.’

“Well, I don’t know what you’ve heard, so here’s the correct, short, and brutal version. Upon his request, I brought my police kit. I did as I was told and stormed the bedroom and played my assigned role when Brian said, ‘Fuck me, Leon.’ At that point, I realised how he saw me, a manifested pixel fantasy. I packed whatever I could of my few belongings and left that very instant.”

Mike searched my eyes. “Nam explained to me how the story got round. I’m sorry, Jamie.”

I nodded. “During that relationship, Nam never said anything directly. He didn’t want to upset me because I was so much in love. He asked questions, some very leading ones in hindsight, but I wasn’t able to realise what he wanted to tell me. So, that was an uprooting. Another year of my life wasted.”

Mike took my hand. “Man, you’ve had some bad runs there. I understand completely that you’re reluctant. All I ask is that you give me a chance. I know about the demands of being a police officer first hand. I’m a chef, I work when others are off. Tell me about unsocial hours. You having more experience than me in sexual matters isn’t putting me off. I really, really like you. You remember what you said about how attracted you were to me right before I kissed you after the hoax fire?”

“Yes, of course.”

“That’s how I feel about you. I think you are fun to be around, a great guy, and really attractive. Hey, your brother is a model. Do I need to say more?”

I didn’t answer right away. The waiter was arriving and our hands parted. First taking our empty plates, the waiter served the dessert.

“Well, the application interview is still on. You haven’t told me anything about your past love life.”

“I’m a country boy,” Mike said solemnly. “In the countryside, we don’t have sex. We have tea pots.”

“Well, something must keep you warm at night.”

“Yeah, and it isn’t bodies, I can assure you. However, in contrast to you, I had a good coming out because of a wonderful teen romance. We met at fourteen and stayed together till eighteen when he went off to uni.”

“You could be openly gay at school?”

“When the first rumors started that I was gay, the bullying started. That’s when I picked up Kendo. A couple of months of serious training later, I beat someone up with a stick. Badly. But after that, the rest of school was a breeze. Battery works wonders, let me tell you.”

“I somehow doubt that’s the spirit being taught.” I picked up my dessert spoon and dug out a small portion of the melting vanilla ice cream in front of me. It was delicious.

“I know, I know. Let’s say that that beating was my guilty pleasure. That arse tormented a lot of kids whose life suddenly got better. When people tell me how wrong I was, I still can’t see it. Whenever I need to pretend I was sorry, I do, but I never have been. There, my moral flaw.”

“I can live with that, but I hope that as a Police Officer you can control the urge to dish out a good beating.”

“I thought long and hard about that when I applied for the Special Constabulary. I want to help to protect people from those that think rules weren’t for them. Although there was no criminal investigation of any kind, I disclosed the incident during application. Our public order trainer was actually very good and discussed that urge with us. ‘Sometimes you just want to hit them’, he said. ‘The best way to fight that urge is to imagine them naked. The titties bouncing and the dick dangling, and you see these mingers for what they are.’”

I laughed.

Mike was laughing as well. “It works! Believe me, it works!”

“I’ll try next time and let you know. That’s hilarious.”

“Anyway, after A-levels which I only did because of my boyfriend, I started my training as a professional chef. Like with you, the unsocial hours don’t make for easy relationships outside that bubble. I was in a five year relationship with a restaurant manager. He was so driven, he’d always wanted to open his own place, so we did.”

“You had your own restaurant?” I was surprised.

“Yes, and we did alright. However, it destroyed our relationship. In the first year, you always have money troubles, so you put more work in. The second year makes or breaks, and we put even more work in and made it. Another year later and we didn’t know anymore why we were together apart from having a joint business. We agreed to end it on good terms before something would make us despise each other. I helped him finding a new chef, and I left. That’s also when I applied to join the Special Constabulary.”

“So, there was nobody on the radar for the last three or four years?”

“Hey, while I haven’t attended any orgies,” I rolled my eyes, “I’m not a monk, either. There have been hookups and a couple of attempts to find a boyfriend, but I’ve had enough warning signs to prevent me needing to go through what you’ve endured. Nobody for the last three months or so. And you?”

“Nobody since I left my ex. That’s now over six months ago.”

The ninja waiter took away the dessert plates and asked, “Can I bring you a coffee or tea?”

We both ordered black tea and the waiter left.

Mike looked at me, suddenly more serious. “There’s one thing that we should talk about, though. Gosh, I sound more like discussing a business proposal than being on a date with a wonderful man. I’m sorry.”

“I think it’s necessary to talk. A lot. I’m scared, Mike.” I sighed. “So, I said it.”

“Of me?”

“Not you personally. This. Us?”

He took my hand again and smiled. “So, there’s at least a chance for an ‘us’?”

I smiled back and nodded. He blew me a kiss over the table. I reciprocated and released his hand. “What did you want to talk about?”

“The stuff that can destroy relationships. I think I know the answer already, but just to be sure. I’m a one-man only guy. I think you are too, right?”

“Absolutely.”

“And lastly,” he sighed, “This has nothing to do with what you’ve told me, I would’ve asked this anyway, but would you object to testing together with me for any STDs?”

I laughed. “You’re wonderful, Mike.”

“What?”

“Yes, of course.” I picked up my phone. “When do you have in mind?”

“Well, there’s a drop-in-center every Saturday at eleven at the hospital. That’s tomorrow.”

I winced. “I’m on nights. I should be sleeping then, as I should be sleeping now, but I doubt I’ll be able to keep my hands off you for another week. So, we’ll do it tomorrow. Meet you there.” I typed it into my calendar.

“Jamie, you’re utterly fantastic.”

“Not quite. I get tested every month anyway through Occupational Health. It’s voluntary, and I take that offer up. I’m just miffed about one thing.”

“Yes?”

“That sex is off the table now.” I winked.

“Never on the first date,” he said in mock exasperation, “I’m not that easy to get. In all fairness, I forgot to book the meeting room in the back. I’m sorry for not being able to oblige.”

“On a serious note, though. Never tell Nam that our second date is at the Sexual Health clinic!”

Mike frowned. “I know he’s your best friend, but would you tell him stuff like that?”

“Somehow, I don’t need to. He can read me like an open book. It’s eerie sometimes.”

“Well, before we start talking about Nam, there’s something I need to do,” Mike said and got up from his chair at the table to come around to mine, knelt down on one knee, and asked, “Jamie, will you be my boyfriend?”

I looked into those sapphire blue eyes and kissed him. “Yes, Mike, I’ll be your boyfriend.” I leaned my forehead against his so that our noses touched. “Please be careful with me.”

“I swear,” he whispered, “I swear.”

Another kiss and we parted.

I left the restaurant and messaged Nam that all was well before driving home. With a night shift looming, I really needed to put some more hours of sleep into the bank. While I only had a power nap, I felt energised and positive when I awoke.

At the police station, Nam was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs that led to the men’s locker room. “You’re smiling,” he said, “So, you and Mike … ?”

I nodded, smiling happily.

“That’s fantastic!” Nam exclaimed and pulled me into a hug.

“Nam?”

“Yes?”

“You’re hugging me.”

“Yes, you deserve it.”

“Nam?”

“Yes?”

“You’re still hugging me.”

“I so wish that it works out,” he said and released me, “This time you’ll keep me posted on all developments and seek my advice, clear?”

“Yes, sir.”

“All! Developments!”

“Not going to happen, sir!”

The shift was enjoyable, but I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Although I was completely knackered, I met Mike the next day at the clinic. He was waiting for me at the car park.

“You look horrible.”

“I love you, too,” I replied and yawned. “I’m so tired.”

However, I found enough energy for a kiss. I was so happy to see him. We talked to the nurse and took the tests. We got a clean bill of health for some tests, for other results we’d need to wait a couple of days. At the car park, we were parting ways.

“Performing those tests together felt intimate.”

“That’s the first thing we did as a couple, I guess,” Mike said shyly.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I’m sorry, no more talking. I really need to sleep.”

Mike walked me to my bike and kissed me goodbye.

Our respective work schedules didn’t allow us to meet again before the following Tuesday, but then we would both be off. Till then, we were calling and messaging each other. Nam made some comments about my sudden phone usage. I felt like a teenager again, hanging on the phone whenever possible.

Monday night shift was a drag. It was so quiet that the one Immediate Response graded incident had half the shift flocking to it. Let them. I decided to catch up on my paperwork but was generally bored. As soon as I could, I hastened home to go to bed. In the early afternoon, I woke up to a message from Mike.

“Check your messages <partysmiley>”

“Yep, all clear!” I wrote back.

“So, does that mean…?”

“Just woke up. Could do with a breakfast/lunch made by somebody who knows how to make one.”

“Will be there instantly!!!!!”

Mike was at my place much quicker than I’d expected. I’d just refreshed myself and put on a clean T-shirt when the doorbell rang.

“Were you waiting on the road? Or did you speed?”

“Both,” he admitted and blushed.

“Well, that’s keen.” I pulled him into the flat to close the door behind him.

We stood close in the small entry hall. Looking into Mike’s beautiful eyes, I couldn’t resist. I cupped his face, and we kissed. What started as a loving kiss became more sexual.

“Let me get my shoes off.”

I kissed him anyway while he was taking off his shoes.

“You’re silly,” he giggled while trying to take off his jacket.

“I’m something else right now.”

“I noticed,” Mike said while he stroked along the tent in my briefs.

I winced. I led him down the small hall, past the kitchen and bathroom, to my room.

“Sorry, just got up.” I went to close the window.

Mike let himself fall face-forward onto my bed. “Hm, smells of you. Like it.”

“Unfortunately, this room isn’t big, so the bed isn’t either.”

I crawled past him. We rolled onto our sides facing each other.

Lying very close, Mike said, “It is rather snug.”

“When I moved in with Rebecca, my thoughts weren’t about having company here.”

“I’ll change that.” He started kissing me.

Mike was very gentle. He moved his hand under my T-shirt, stroking me slowly. “Wow,” he said, “How ripped you are. Your arms were an indication that you’re very muscular. I’ve never had a boyfriend with an actual six-pack.”

“Hardest to gain, easiest to lose. So, I hope you accept me doing a lot of training.”

“Depends on the training.” He smiled deviously.

Mike took my T-shirt off and rolled on top of me. We needed to shuffle a bit because of the bed’s size, but he started to kiss me gently, first down my throat then down my chest, moving down my belly. His hands were everywhere.

He said, “Your skin is so smooth. Not a hair in sight. Natural or shaved?”

“All natural. I don’t grow much hair.”

He teased by stroking my erection. Suddenly, he took the briefs down, exposing my manhood. Before he could move any further, I sat up to remove his shirt. Like drowning I clung to him, kissing him madly.

He was lean. “You aren’t bad yourself.”

“I’m naturally thin, and Kendo helps.”

I bade him to get up so I could remove his trousers and briefs. Having his erect member standing out in front of me, I looked at him mischievously and took him into my mouth, tasting the salt of his precum on my tongue. He was big, but I had plenty of practice in this area, so I could handle this. Mike confirmed with moans of pleasure and the way he gripped my hair with his hand, pulling on it slightly. Mike’s groans were going straight to my dick, and I took him deeper, running my hand up the back of his leg, feeling the tight, trembling muscles there.

But it wasn’t enough. I needed more of him. I wanted to feel his body, so I let go and pulled Mike back down, dragging him on top of me. Our hands and tongues explored each other. We both craved the closeness and the touch of one another. Mike grabbed our two erections and wanked both of us together. I climaxed first. It was intense; spewing on my chest. My release was closely followed by Mike’s. I drew him and held him close.

“We should clean up,” he whispered.

“Please, let me hold you a little while longer.”

He smiled and did.