The Seducer: A Gone From Daylight Inspired Story - 29. William Harker’s Journal: Entry 29

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Friday, December 1, 1989

His face, even though it is no longer disguised, I still find handsome and kind…at least to me.

Yes, I suppose Vlad Țepeș Dracula is a monster, but he is a kindly one…at least to me.

As fearful as I should be at the prospect of there being real vampires and him being a ‘lord’ of them, his words to me that night rang true to me somehow:

“Yes, William. But, be not afraid! Not of me. Never of me…”

In any case, that dreadful night on Halloween seems more like a nightmare now than a reality. Out of shock if for no other reason, I came back with him to his dark home, Rochelle and Charles with us…barely.

I watched them slowly suffer from their wounds. It was horrendous to be witness to it. The blood never stopped flowing and yet, as depleted as they were, they did not die! They were, to be sure, dying…but I never saw them actually die.

At one point, Vlad (Dracula insists I call him by this name) locked Rochelle and Charles away ‘for my safety’. Apparently, as a vampire dies in this long and gruesome way, their ‘thirst’ becomes unbearable and any mortal within range is in danger of becoming a victim to their blood lust. The drinking of the blood makes no difference, though, because that new blood taken in simply pours out of them again from their unhealing wounds. It merely prolongs their ungodly suffering!

At some point, that same week, Vlad told me that, at last, Rochelle and Charles were ‘no more’. He explained that both agreed that they wanted to see their last sunrise. They went on something Vlad called a ‘Sun Quest’ together. This was, essentially, suicide since, as the old legends say, vampires are truly destroyed by sunlight. But, it was a quick end as opposed to the long suffering death to which they were doomed by their knife wounds. Also, which I found strange, Vlad explained that the rising sun brings on the ‘Death Sleep’ for vampires. So, more than likely, Rochelle and Charles would have been unconscious when they…burned up, I guess.

I finally found the strength to cry upon hearing that. I wept for a long time. Not only for Rochelle and Charles, but also for my lost parents too and…my lost innocence.

I asked Vlad where Rochelle and Charles’ remains were so that I could pay my respects, but he told me that there were no remains.

“You must understand that the sun disintegrates a vampire, William. Nothing remains. Such is the nature of the curse…” he further explained.

I asked what this curse was, but he put me off about it until a later time. Apparently, it is a sore subject that Vlad didn’t want to have to explain, especially under these sad circumstances.

We sat together in mostly silence the night after they finally died. I stayed with Vlad despite my own tiredness out of a sense that I was a comfort to him. Apparently, he’d known Rochelle and Charles a lot longer than I suspected. They were two individuals that he had learned to trust over the many years since their ‘turning’, as Vlad calls it.

“Can you…make new vampires…like the legends say and were Charles and Rochelle…?” I began to ask.

He answered: “No. They were not mine. I believe Desmodius turned Charles. I have known Desmodius since the late 19th century. He has been a close confidant to me as had been Renfield before he was destroyed. Men of that time…were of a different sort than now. Honorable and valuing of friendship. As for Charles, Desmodius first introduced him to me in 1968. He was a new fledgling then, bright and brimming with the novelty of his new existence. Apparently, after Charles discovered Desmodius’ true nature, Charles insisted that he be turned! Desmodius was always a devotee of beautiful young men and Charles, as you came to know, was quite beautiful after his fashion.” Vlad explained. I admit, Charles was very handsome. So much so that he was slightly intimidating to me. But, intimidating or not, I will greatly miss him. The knowledge that he was that young looking and yet had been around since 1968 shocked me! It was then that this power of vampirism to, literally, freeze someone in time suddenly hit me with its significance!

“…and so Desmodius captured Charles’ youth and beauty for all time by the Turning. Froze it, if you will.” Vlad said as if picking my thoughts from the air.

“So, whatever age you are now…?” I started to ask.

“…you retain into this…life…if ‘life’ is what you wish to call it.” Vlad said with a sadness that seemed deeply seated.

“Aren’t you…alive? Aren’t you, like, immortal?” I asked, confused.

“Immortal yes…alive?” Vlad’s eyes settled on me with a softness that I didn’t think they were capable of.

“Life only exists where love lives, William. Life without love…is living death. An immortal life without love is…eternal death.” Vlad said softly, sadly.

“Desmodius will be completely devastated by this news. He loved Charles…very much.” Vlad’s shoulders slumped and his usual perfect posture seemed to melt.

There was silence for a while as we both sat in quiet contemplation watching the fire in the fireplace consume its wood. I would look to watch the firelight dance in Vlad’s eyes. I shuddered inwardly because I saw how reflectively the fire sparkled in his eyes. It took me back to the realization that Vlad wasn’t a mortal man. He was something other. Something more…and less. Less, though?

Was he really subhuman because of what he was? Was he really a twisted thing, evil to the core, like the books and the movies always make vampires out to be? He didn’t seem to be! Certainly, he was a man out of time, but a man…he definitely was! A vampire man. Homo Vampirus or something.

He looked over to me with a sad but soft smile.

“You still cannot discern what I am, can you?” He said. Again I wondered if he could actually read my thoughts or maybe it was just that my unguarded face gave too much away.

“Do not be distressed, William. In truth, I often cannot understand what I am either, heh.” A rare scoff of laughter came from his thin lips.

“After over five-hundred years, you would think one would know themselves…but I have come to find, William, that self-discovery is something of a lie. We can never quite know ourselves completely without someone else there to be a mirror. I have an…aversion to mirrors. They tend to…break in my presence.” Vlad said as he leaned over in his wing chair closer to the flames. His face became orange with the firelight and I could see traces of ancient cares and losses there suddenly. In a way, I was able to read his mind too. I could at least feel a swell of empathy with his feelings.

“Now…Rochelle appeared with Charles one day at the Salon Rouge. It was late 1984, as I recall. At the time, she was quite mortal. Charles had brought her, no doubt, to show her ‘our’ way of life. She seemed a bit intimidated by me, but I have learned to expect such things. I am a dour old vampire, I fear.” Vlad allowed another scoff to clear his throat.

“In short order, I saw her return on another night…turned. I was given to conjecture that Charles had worked ‘The Dark Trick’ upon her, as Lestat calls it. Charles had become Rochelle’s sire…her maker…and two happier vampires I had never met before or since.” Vlad reminisced.

That explained their connection and obvious bond. A rather morbid question then came to my mind. I decided to voice it, despite that fact Vlad might think it inappropriate.

“Did they…go together? Into their Last Sunrise, that is?” I asked.

“Indeed they did, William. They would have had it no other way! I drove them to a promontory I know that overlooks the lands and cities to the east of these coastal hills and mountains. It gave an unobstructed view of the sunrise. They would have been able to see the first glow of dawn before their Death Sleep came over them. I left them in each other’s arms. It was beautiful in its tragedy. Perhaps, that was for the best. Their spirits are now free of this…’life’ and together. I could think of no better way of making an ending to…this.” Vlad said the last part in a low, sad voice.

I got the impression that he was no longer much in love with his own immortality. My heart suddenly filled with such sadness for Vlad! I could almost feel the weight of so many, many years on his shoulders. Something in me wanted to help lift that weight…to bring back some of the ‘life’ he seemed to have lost.

Throwing caution to the wind, I went to Vlad. He looked at me with a strange, surprised look. He seemed to know my intentions the minute I did! I sank to my knees in front of him, reached for him, and embraced Vlad Dracula.

At first, he hesitated to return the strange gesture. His cold body stiffened, but then relaxed and Vlad gently took hold of me in return.

“Oh…William.” He sighed as if letting his last breath escape.

I could not help but be aware that in this position, Vlad’s lips were very close to my neck, but…I found I didn’t care. He said I never need be afraid of him…and so I wasn’t! Instead of fear I had a swelling of a completely opposite feeling.

Love!

I love Vlad Țepeș Dracula. It can’t be denied.

Without meaning to or perhaps with some intent, he had seduced and beguiled me. He is a vulnerable, honorable, and valiant man who just happens to be a vampire. He’s rescued me more than once and has never been anything, but loving and kind to me.

Then, of course, there is the matter that he’s, apparently, known about me all my life! At least per what he said to me on that night. This was something I needed to explore. That statement I just couldn’t wrap my head around. From anyone else, such a thing would seem creepy…but in Vlad’s case, it made a kind of sense, but only if you had the far seeing vision an immortal vampire might have.

But, I saved my many questions. Tonight, we simply sat the rest of the night together in peaceful reminiscence of friends and family lost to this cruel world and that in it, by chance or contrivance, we had found each other.