Liar vs. Liar - 3. Dating Apps Were Never Meant for This

Chapter Three – Dating Apps Were Never Meant for This

Getting so close to his target had never been in the cards before. He hadn’t done it because, frankly, it scared the bejesus out of him to get caught. He couldn’t fight, he could barely hold his own in an argument, and the moment he tried more, he knew others looked at him like he was some kind of freak. So, making an exception in this case felt like a serious risk.

The pressure was mounting, with this year being the last of college and all that. If he couldn’t leave this place with a bang – even if the part of remaining anonymous felt bittersweet – then he wouldn’t be able to prove himself. And he’d end up caught in some crappy job, putting in the hours for the same linear life where nothing happened, instead of joining the upper echelon of people with something to say and people to listen.

He fiddled with the camera and adjusted it for the umpteenth time.

“Sorry, but you’re my meal ticket, man,” he said as he began to snap picture after picture from a safe distance.

Jamie Vayne. He was such a looker. No wonder he left broken hearts scattered behind him left and right. Of course, he didn’t think of himself like that. He called himself a mender of hearts. A good guy.

But good guys weren’t liars, usually, right?

***

The survey results were clear. Crystal clear and shocking, too. Jamie couldn’t wrap his head around them, because he had never seen them before. He hadn’t even had an inkling that his hookups were thinking of him as some sort of heartbreaker. Another aspect that kept on bugging him was his reaction to the whole thing. He was into hooking up because he liked sex and liked having it with people who took pleasure from it just as much as he did. He also did it because he loved making others feel good. And it wasn’t just sexual, dammit. He had made all those boys realize that they had value, that it didn’t matter that some schmuck had chosen to abandon them instead of working toward a relationship with them.

That sort of gratitude, which he had read in others’ eyes so many times before, had given him the validation he was after. Sure, undressing for his followers and letting them throw their tokens at him worked for that, too, but it wasn’t the same. Jamie loved being appreciated for his soul, not only for his body and what he knew to do with it.

That fucking Xpress really liked throwing shade at him. Jamie had ignored it at first, then got annoyed, and now he was full-blown pissed. He needed to find the guy behind Xpress and make him swallow his words.

How the hell did he know it was a guy? He didn’t. If the evil mastermind behind that gossip rag that served no purpose but daily entertainment for the people living on campus proved to be a girl, Jamie would find himself at a loss. He wouldn’t be able to kick her ass, and that would be a huge bummer.

Even with a guy, he wouldn’t get so physical. Why was Xpress so obsessed with him, anyway? Ah, Jamie thought and felt his lips stretching into a large smile. What if it was a guy and one who actually drooled over Jamie in secret? That level of obsession couldn’t be explained otherwise. Sure, in the past, Xpress had meddled extensively in the business of various couples and individuals, but the extent of what was happening now verged on the ridiculous.

It had to be a guy. It had to be a gay guy. Could it be one of his former hookups? There had been so many that Jamie didn’t dare start his research there. That would justify Xpress’s wish to destroy his public image and prevent him from hooking up again.

But if that were the case, why would Xpress start cornering him now of all times? It didn’t make any sense, and Jamie couldn’t remember a single guy he had parted ways with while they were having bad feelings about each other. Even from his little survey, he had understood that the college boys that had jumped in bed with him had known very well what they were getting themselves into. At best, they might have been a little vexed with his ‘lack of emotional availability’, but that was all. And his lack of emotional availability only referred to his not wanting to be in a relationship. Otherwise, he had been the most accommodating guy anyone could hook up with in the history of hookups.

Where would a gay guy with a small yet currently developing obsession with Jamie lurk? He had to be a college boy, because there was no way Xpress was an outsider. He knew too much, he was up in everyone’s business, and despite its usual stupidity, it felt as if he was everywhere.

Most likely, Jamie carried on with his little mental investigation of the topic, this guy was trying to hook up, too. Maybe he had tried in the past and now felt jilted over being overlooked. A lot of guys wanted a piece of Jamie, but as charitable as he was, he needed to pace himself. A man only had so many hours in the day and they had to be used accordingly.

Grabbing his dumbbells from under the bed, he began pumping iron, throwing a look at himself in the tall mirror on the wall across from him, to check his form and send a kiss to himself once in a while. What sort of guy was behind Xpress?

He had to be a loser.

Which meant that Jamie needed to lower his standards when it came to selecting his possible hookups.

The guy also had to be a little freaky. If he was the guy in the deerstalker hat from that night, he had to like dressing up.

“Let’s see,” Jamie murmured under his breath.

Short, skinny. Lacking confidence in his looks. Talking like a character from two or more centuries ago. A guy like that had to stick out like a sore thumb, no matter where he went.

***

So far, no luck. Jamie thumbed through the new profiles that had been added to see if there was anyone who seemed anywhere close to the kind of guy that could be writing that piece of crap. Everyone’s profiles appeared to start blurring together at one point. The same shirtless pics, the same angle, the same pickup lines. Unlike other times, Jamie was moving past the guys trying to catch his attention, or those he was supposed to be interested in like someone browsing through an offer at a supermarket that meant nothing to him anymore.

He groaned and pushed his fists against his eyes. Was this really going nowhere?

His phone pinged and he was about to reject another request for DM, when he saw the profile picture. Now, that was something interesting.

“Hello, weirdo,” he said with a small smile.

***

His palms were sweaty and he wiped them on his jeans a few times. It looked like Jamie was going for the bait, but it seemed unsettling that he was doing it so fast. To really get the goods on the guy, he needed to get as up close and personal as he could. Only then would he be able to give a proper account of the fraud Jamie Vayne was. It would count as his final exam before graduation, so all the risks were worth it.

Was Jamie even into something like this? He probably was. He was so indiscriminate – or so he seemed – when it came to his bed partners, and being the superficial guy that he was, he always wanted to try something new. That was why he was such a heartbreaker. He broke guys’ hearts before they even got to meet him for the first time.

Like a fortress well-known for being unbreakable, Jamie’s legend preceded him. Likely most heroes wouldn’t even try, because they knew the quest would lead to their certain doom.

But he wasn’t like other boys. He would go as far as forcing Jamie into admitting to his true self. His campaign would end up with a casualty and one only, and he knew that guy’s name. He pressed send and waited for the next message, his heart in his throat.

***

“So, is this your persona? Do you dress up like this all the time?” Jamie asked, as he observed the heavy silhouette trudging along the path ahead.

It was night, as had been required by his would-be hookup, and the place was deserted, also per the request coming from the same source. Jamie took in the huge fluffy pink rabbit, his lips stretching into a big smile. Because of the huge head, he couldn’t tell the actual height of the person hiding within, and also because the costume was so big and fluffy the guy inside it could be skinny or not.

The thing was, this guy must have gone to great lengths to disguise himself and most likely hoped to fool Jamie into something that, until now, hadn’t been named. Their short exchange set up a meeting. Jamie hadn’t made any of his usual advances and naughty talk. He was curious, he had told the stranger in the pink rabbit costume. The other had replied that he had wanted to meet the great Jamie for a long time.

Everything necessary for them to set up a meeting off campus late at night had been met. And now, Jamie intended to uncover the truth behind the rabbit mask, but not before he made the guy squirm and admit that he was Xpress.

All in due time, he told himself. There was a high probability that this rabbit was just a guy who liked dressing up because he was unsure of his charms and didn’t dare to hook up like everyone else, by posting shirtless selfies on dating apps.

“I didn’t think you’d really come,” a raspy voice began.

“Why not?” Jamie opened his arms wide to show that he couldn’t understand why he’d be considered a no-show when he had agreed to this strange meeting.

“Because guys like you hook up with pretty people only.”

“You don’t know me,” Jamie replied and crossed his arms. “On the other hand, I didn’t say anything about hooking up. I’m simply curious about what sort of guy would choose to sweat in a mascot costume instead of showing the goods.”

“There may be a long list of reasons for that.” The rabbit stopped at a fair distance from Jamie, as if he was afraid of coming too close.

“I only want to hear about yours. Let’s walk.” Jamie gestured with his chin.

“We’re not hooking up?”

“Are you going to get rid of that costume?”

“No.”

“Then the answer is no. Obviously, I only go to bed with people I have chemistry with. Or at least a little spark,” Jamie said. “What do you want from this meeting?”

The rabbit seemed to ponder over his next line. “Everyone says you’re the guy to talk to when your heart is broken.”

“Really? How so?” Jamie asked and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans to stifle the itch of grabbing the guy’s mask and seeing who was hiding underneath. The voice sounded nothing like the weirdo’s in the deerstalker hat. They could be two different guys, and this meeting could lead, most likely, to Jamie assuring some insecure guy that he deserved to be appreciated for himself, soul and body, instead of hiding under that horrifying pink nightmare of a costume. It was a win-win. If this strange dude was Xpress, Jamie would grab him by the balls. If he wasn’t, Jamie would get laid.

“You are said to offer guidance and advice along with a good and satisfying fuck.”

Jamie laughed. “It seems to me like you don’t read Xpress.”

There was a short pause. “No, that is true. I don’t read Xpress,” the rabbit answered.

“Okay. Then how about we go somewhere cozy, you take off your costume, and I give you all the guidance you need?”

“I’d rather just take a walk with it on. Do I have to sleep with you for some conversation?”

It struck Jamie how similar those words rang when compared to his latest exchange with that Mitch dude. His lips twisted into a grimace, but it only lasted a moment.

“No, you don’t have to do that. I doubt I’d even feel attracted to you.”

“How do you know that?” came the question right away.

“People vibe,” Jamie said with a shrug. “I simply know that I wouldn’t like you in that way even if you took off that silly mask.”

“You are definitely sure of yourself,” the rabbit said, and his words had a bite now. “I have no intention of proving you wrong.”

“Playing hard to get then? Then let me start with one first piece of advice. Don’t do that. Guys these days don’t care about shit like that. Nobody’s going to put in the work to get to know you. It’s hard enough to get to know people as it is. Make it even harder, and it’s guaranteed that you’re not going to get laid.”

“How preposterous of you to think that’s what I’m looking for.”

Jamie laughed. The rabbit walked one step behind him, as if he was afraid to fall in line with him. Whatever. The guy was a rabbit, therefore easy to scare. The hunter metaphor came to mind, uninvited. Well, if this rabbit wanted to be hunted, Jamie didn’t mind roleplaying as the hunter. For now, they’d continue their conversation until only one of them gave in and admitted to the true purpose of this little meeting.

To get laid, of course.

“So, you go on dating apps for what?” he asked.

“They’re hooking up apps, not dating apps.”

“Whatever. What motivated you to make a profile if you’re not interested in meeting guys?”

“I am interested in meeting someone. And that someone is you.”

“I see. Why?” Jamie looked over his shoulder to make sure that the guy was still following him. “Stop walking behind me like that. You make me feel like I’m in some B-rated horror movie.”

“Are you afraid of me?” the rabbit asked and hurried to catch up with Jamie.

“I can take you,” Jamie said with a shrug.

“Okay, that’s fair,” the rabbit admitted.

Jamie stopped near a lonely bench under a street light. He sat without asking the other what he wanted to do and rested his linked fingers on top of his head. Even if the light was bad, the sight – and size – of his biceps had to make an impression on the insufferable rabbit.

The pink horror chose to stand.

“When are we going to start talking about you?” Jamie asked. “That’s what you want, right? As you can see, I’m more than charitable with my time.”

“You seem to know everything,” the rabbit replied. “How about you tell me? Why am I here?”

Jamie leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees, linking his hands in front of them. “That’s not how therapy works, my friend.”

“I don’t need therapy.”

“What do you need, then?”

“I need to understand you.”

Jamie quirked an eyebrow. That came out of left field. “Are you here because you’re interested in me?”

“Yes. Why does that surprise you so much?”

“It’s a weird thing to say.”

“No, it’s not. Those people who watch you and throw money at you while you jerk off for them, aren’t they interested in you, too?”

Jamie pondered over the rabbit’s words and stared at him, unsure of what to think or say.

“Of course, you’d say it’s a weird thing because no one has been interested in you before, right? Not in the real Jamie Vayne,” the rabbit continued, and it was easy to spot a tone of triumph in his raspy voice.

“Oh, crap,” Jamie said and grinned, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. “Are you here to play my therapist? I have to say, I wasn’t expecting this. You’re such a freaking weirdo.”

“That’s not a nice thing to say,” the rabbit said primly.

“Well, tough luck, I don’t feel that charitable tonight, after all. I’m not in the mood to say nice things to a guy who’s here only to rile me up for some reason I’m starting to understand.”

“Oh, yeah? Care to share?”

“Not yet. You see, Floppy Ears, I’m a tomcat. I like playing with my food. And while you seem to be the sort not to be worth the trouble, you already had me clear my schedule for tonight, so I’ll indulge you in your little masochistic play.”

“Masochistic?” the rabbit sputtered. “There’s nothing--”

“Yes, there is,” Jamie said in a cutting tone. “You wouldn’t wear that silly costume if you didn’t have things to hide. You wouldn’t stalk a guy like me – hell, you must be among those lurkers on my channel that never say a word – if there wasn’t something you wanted. Something you can’t even name. But you know you want it.”

“You’re so conceited,” the rabbit replied. “I told you. I’m not here for myself. I want to know the real Jamie Vayne.”

“I’m an open book, baby.” Jamie puffed out his chest. “Don’t work so hard, when all it takes is your decision to get rid of your rabbit costume and present yourself nicely for some pleasure. Ten out of ten college boys say I’m a god in bed. You’ll get your pleasure, guilt free.”

“There’s no such thing--”

“What’s eating you?” Jamie continued. “Are you skinny and afraid your ribs are showing? Are you a thick boy and believe no one would ever enjoy all that junk inside your trunk? I’ll make you forget all about that. Mask off and let’s have some fun.”

“No,” the rabbit said sharply. “You’re so… superficial!”

“Says the guy hiding behind a fursona. Hey, where are you going?” Jamie asked, staring as the rabbit turned on his heel and began walking away.

“I’ll get you, Jamie Vayne!” the guy yelled over his shoulder. “I’ll find out who you truly are!”

“Well, you’re welcome to try.”

Jamie laughed and shook his head. He didn’t recall having had this sort of fun ever. Seeing how he hadn’t gotten to enjoy any sort of horizontal cha-cha, it was a first.

“See you later, rabbit boy?” he shouted at the retreating pink back.

“In your dreams!” came the immediate reaction.

A bundle of contradictions, that guy. Didn’t he just promise that he wouldn’t leave Jamie alone? This hunt had great promise.

TBC