Ralph: Breaking free - 5. Kisses, boyfriends and boats

To his surprise, Nolan had got back to him, and they were meeting on Friday evening. Nolan had apologised for the timing, but it was one of the few slots that he had free. Ralph was a bit late; a video conference had overrun, and he had follow-up paperwork to sort. Then the cab was delayed, so he arrived frazzled. It was a wine bar, not a place he'd ever visited, but then Therese and he had favoured restaurants for their odd treat, and his days of hanging about in bars with mates seemed to have evaporated. Not for the first time, he thought he needed to do something about getting a social life.

The bar was in an old shop, pleasantly modernised, with just enough of the old shelving, woodwork and display cabinets to give it character, all artfully distressed and with mismatched tables and chairs to add to the carefully crafted atmosphere. It was clearly popular, so was busy and noisy. Nolan was at a table at the back; at least it was well away from the office parties at the front of the building. Nolan looked a bit glum, but his face lit up when he saw Ralph. Shit, the guy had made an effort, wearing a colourful shirt that almost had holiday buy written on it but worn with toning trousers. Ralph was simply in bog-standard business shirt and looking rather frayed at the edges.

"Sorry, I'm late, meetings over-ran."

Nolan grinned, "It's OK, I was nervous that you might have got held up. Thanks for coming and sorry about the timing."

"It's OK. You're in luck, in fact. Usually on Fridays I'm looking after the twins but it's their Gran's birthday, so Therese has got them. She's my ex-”.

The conversation easily slipped into chatting about the twins and Nolan was only too happy, having enjoyed his encounter with them on Saturday. Then Ralph pulled himself up short.

"Look, we need to talk about your business, and I need to find another topic of conversation rather than bringing up my daughters all the time", he gave a shame-faced grin.

"I'm the same, the only thing I can talk about is the firm", and Nolan gave a wry smile.

"How about you give me a run down on the firm, what you offer and that. If we're giving you a cut-price deal then you don't get much choice about look and feel, we simply fit you into an existing website template."

Compared to Morrie, Nolan was a complete delight as a client, accepting everything that was suggested. Ralph and Beth had one or two clients for whom they'd done cut-price deals who, though worthwhile causes, had had far too inflated a view of what was their due. Nolan wasn't like that. The children's football coaching was only one element, Nolan's firm aimed at everything with adult classes as well as massage and sports therapy.

"How the hell did you start all this?"

Nolan had given Ralph a sheaf of papers about the firm and a link to photos.

Nolan smiled, "A late-night conversation after Uni. You know how it is?"

Ralph pulled a face, "Yeah."

"Verne was doing massage and sports therapy for a firm she hated, whilst I was coaching and doing supply teaching. We began small."

"Impressive."

"We took the plunge last year. Gave up our other jobs. Now we are just about to put money down on proper premises."

"Congratulations."

Nolan didn't seem to feel the need to say more, nor did Ralph. They ordered food and another glass of wine and simply enjoyed chatting with each other. Despite his deprecating comments about his monomania over the firm, Nolan was remarkably good company, and they talked about anything and everything. Afterwards feeling pleasantly buzzed, but not drunk, Ralph decided to walk home, Nolan's route followed his route for a bit, so they chatted as they walked. Then Nolan stopped and said he turned here.

It was getting dark, and they were standing at the edge of a small, wild park. Nolan leaned over and kissed him, tentatively and Ralph was so surprised that he responded and kissed back. But something of Ralph's surprise and discomfort must have showed, and he’d quickly pulled away as Nolan apologised and dashed off, before Ralph could explain. Yet realistically what could he have said, what was there to explain?

He finally fell asleep in the wee small hours. He'd had to admit to himself that from the first moment of encountering Nolan's smile in the wine bar, Ralph had found the guy cute, appealing, and yes, sexy, the firm chin, the roughness to the skin, the strength combined with tenderness. Shit, he’d really enjoyed the kiss and tried not to pull away. It had just been the shock to realise he was doing exactly what he wanted to do but had told himself that he couldn’t, shouldn’t, wouldn’t. What the fuck did he say to Nolan, when he met him tomorrow at football!

Ralph met Therese at the Rec on next morning, where she delivered the girls and handed over their bags commenting rather shortly, that this was the last time that they did something with her on Friday, this was far too early to be up and about on a Saturday. All this meant that he'd no opportunity to speak to Nolan who cast glances in his direction but remained subdued. Ralph decided to stay and watch, despite his daughters' protests. He didn't really pay attention, instead going over and over the events of the previous evening.

There was no problem really. He'd kissed a bloke and enjoyed it; it was all in his head. If he was being truthful, he'd happily do it again. The trouble was of his own making. Granted, his parents wouldn't be best pleased, but he'd long ago realised that he would never measure up to their expectations. Oh, they loved him in their way, but their ambitions for their son had run to far more than a divorced web-designer living in Parborough. He had been expected to be a high-flyer in London by now. Liking blokes would just be another disappointment for them.

The girls were on their break and Nolan came over. Before Nolan could say anything, Ralph blurted out, "I enjoyed last night but it was my first time since I was 17."

Nolan stared at him, "First time?"

"Kissing a bloke", Ralph was aware that he was going red but persevered, "I'm a mess and still trying to get myself out of it. If you'd have patience, I'd like to try, we could meet for coffee, and I'll explain."

Nolan gave him a shy grin with just a flash of that cute smile and said they'd arrange coffee. Then he dashed off as one of the volunteers shouted for him.

---

Sunday, they had driven over to the canal, watched the boats navigating the lock and walked along the towpath, had an ice-cream. There weren’t so many boats today, and most negotiated the lock deftly, so less entertainment than when folk got into trouble. Not that Ralph could talk, he’d little experience of navigating a boat through a lock. The girls, however, enjoyed being able to watch both the boats and the birds, stopping to enjoy the passing life of whatever type.

It was all very usual, until Jane piped up, "Daddy, now you and Mummy aren't together, will you be getting a girlfriend?"

"Natalie's Daddy has a new girlfriend, and Natalie says she's very nice."

"Or will you get a boyfriend, like Tommi's Daddy?"

The two looked at him expectantly. In their world of divorced couples and blended families, the questions were perfectly logical. He had to laugh, "You don't get boyfriends or girlfriends off the shelf, like sweets."

"Oh."

"But I'd like one, it's just that work is busy." And looking after two bundles of energy like you took up all his spare energy and time.

Alisa sighed, "That's what Mummy says.", privately Ralph would love to have known Therese's response to 'are you getting a boyfriend?'

"It's not fair, everyone else has them."

"Has what?" What on earth were they talking about now.

"Two Daddies or two Mummies."

He smiled, "Well, you'll just have to wait", he squeezed their hands, "And do I get a girlfriend or a boyfriend?" He gave a big smile to show it wasn't really a serious question, but the two concentrated hard.

"Two Daddies would be nice."

"It would be three if Mummy got a boyfriend too."

Smiling at their logic but also alarmed at how easily they considered him for a boyfriend, Ralph tried to reason with himself.

Back at the lock, they sat for a bit and Ralph texted Nolan, suggesting times for coffee saying that he looked forward to chatting with him. Nolan replied almost instantly, they'd meet for coffee on Wednesday.