Ralph: Breaking free - 20. Russ Kahn and gay Gordons

Morrie was delighted when Ralph got back to him about dates for their photo shoot. The best slot was Thursday evening, that seemed to work for Ivor, Ralph and Nolan. Morrie snapped the offer up immediately, blithely commenting that he was sure that he’d manage to fix one of his photographers.

Beth had laughingly offered her services as photographer to Ralph, which had caused Ivor to protest, but they’d all known that it for the joke it was. There was no way either man fancied their colleague having her eye on the view finder.

Morrie had news too, Russ Kahn had come back to him with dates of his own. He and two managers from Ares were going to do a shoot.

“Are the managers anything like the security staff that I saw at Kahn’s shindig?”

>I gather so. And they are a couple, so comfortable together.

“And comfortable with Kahn around?”

>Russ says that they are friends, so it’s OK.

“Friends, eh? Does Russ Kahn actually have friends?”

>He seems to. Evidently the two men have a teenage son, and Russ enjoys his company too. The boy’s into natural history, birds, bees, bugs and plants and stuff.

“And Kahn’s into that too?”

>Well, he’s bought stuff for the boy and at our last lunch was talking about beekeeping in the boy’s grandparents’ orchard. So, sounds like it.

“Intriguing. Not at all how I imagined him.”

>I think the private Russ Kahn, might be a bit different to the public one.

“Wonder which one will be in front of the camera?”

Morrie laughed.

>Did he ever follow up on your friend Nolan’s problems?

“Not as far as I know. Things are moving in that area, but at the moment it looks like they’ll be owing the bank a big chunk of money.”

Morrie hissed.

>Not nice. I might be seeing Russ Kahn next week. I’ll mention it if I do.

“Thanks. Oh, and Morrie. When we do the private shoot, we talked about, Nolan wants to be wearing sports gear.”

>As in, fetish pictures for your delectation?

“Get your mind out of the gutter. No, to use for his firm’s website and for the GoFundMe.”

>GoFundMe?

So, Ralph had to explain the GoFundMe page to Morrie, and the man agreed that he’d get someone dig out some of Iverson’s old sportswear, in case it might be suitable. Thankfully, the man didn’t ask what Ralph was going to be wearing.

Ralph was just tidying up his desk and his inbox, preparatory to going and collecting the twins from school, when his phone rang, it was Nolan, sounding flustered.

>Russ Kahn has been in contact.

“Good. It is good, isn’t it?”

>Yes. He wants to meet.

“Even better?”

>This evening, and Verne can’t do this evening; she’s travelling as she’s running in the Cardiff marathon tomorrow.

Ralph sighed, “OK. So, do you want me to come along?”

>Would you. It’s just. He wanted to come to our office.

“What office?”

>Precisely.

“Look. He’s going to have to take you as he finds you. Right? You’re hardly flush with cash at the moment.”

>Say that again.

“So, invite him here.”

>To your house?

“And place of business.”

>Yes. But the girls.

“Are perfectly capable of sitting quietly in their room whilst we talk, and besides he might like kids. Morrie mentioned that he’s friends with a couple of the managers from Ares, two blokes who have a teenage son.”

>Bloody hell. Morrie doesn’t take long.

“A real networker is our Morrie. So, suggest it to Kahn. Warn him about the girls but say that we can meet downstairs. Blame it on me, in fact, as I don’t think Therese would be up for looking after them at such a short notice.”

There was a pause, and Ralph wondered whether Nolan might say no. Yet, it seemed important to, at least, hear what the Kahn bloke said, rather than simply dismissing it out of hand. Finally, Nolan gave a sigh.

>Thanks. That sounds sensible. Sorry, I just don’t know…

“Look. You don’t have to accept his help, particularly if he wants a chunk of the business. But it would be stupid to simply dismiss things out of hand.”

>That’s what I keep telling myself.

“Good. So, see you this evening.”

>I’ll be early as I’ve got Darren to take my last class for me.

“Good idea.”

---

“Uncle Nolan, you’re here again.”

“Goodie. Are you going to watch Spirited Away with us, Daddy says it’s a film that we’ll enjoy.”

“Calm down girls, Nolan’s going to be here all evening.”

Nolan stood in the doorway to the living room, looking a little bewildered at the enthusiastic reception. The girls had changed out of their school uniforms and finished their cake and juice but were still sitting at the kitchen table. Ralph insisted on them washing their hands before going to greet Nolan. He squatted down and duly greeted them, whilst Ralph explained that they were going to get a visitor to talk to him and Nolan.

“Will we be able to meet him?”

“Does he have girls too?”

Nolan looked up and caught Ralph’s eye at this latter comment.

“Yes, I am sure he will be delighted to say hello. But he doesn’t have children, I’m afraid, and we are having a boring business meeting. So, you know what that means.”

“We have to be quiet in our room.”

“And not interrupt unless it’s important.”

Both girls looked rather glum at the prospect.

“We can have ice cream after the man has gone.”

“Promise?”

“Really?”

“Yes, I promise. And we can all watch Spirited Away tomorrow.”

“Uncle Nolan as well?”

“Of course.” Ralph looked over the girls’ heads to Nolan and gave him a regretful shrug, but Nolan simply smiled. “And Nolan has cooked us a special dinner for tonight. So, why don’t you read your books for a bit, and let Nolan get changed, then we can set the table.”

The two scampered off, relatively happy at the turn of events.

“Uncle Nolan?”

Ralph pulled a face and shrugged, “I suspect it’s Therese’s doing. They were probably chattering about you, and she said that as you were a friend of Daddy’s, you ought to be Uncle Nolan.”

“Bloody hell, it makes me feel ancient.”

Ralph smiled, “Welcome to the club.”

They ate promptly, partly because the girls got hungry, despite the cake and probably more to do with the fact that Nolan had cooked them something special. But also, Ralph was anxious that their meal and all its detritus was tidied away well before Russ Kahn arrived. Thank goodness they were having the fish-free chowder, the sheer idea of having a meeting in a flat stinking of cooked fish!

The girls enjoyed the chowder, and subjected Nolan to a litany of questions about what had gone into it, which he answered with apparent good humour. Then, despite the earliness, Ralph sent them off to wash and put on their night wear. The girls were rather proud of their dressing gowns, which rather bizarrely were Harry Potter themed. Ralph had never been able to fathom why, and he knew that he was going to have a nightmare replacing them when they wore out or if the girls grew too big for them. But for the moment, they were delighted to grant Russ Kahn an audience wearing them.

“Hello, Mr Kahn.”

“Hello, Mr Kahn.”

“I’m Jane.”

“And I’m Alisa.”

“Daddy said that we could say hello.”

“But then we are going to watch a film in our bedroom.”

Russ Kahn’s reaction to the girls had been somewhat bemused but good natured. He had squatted down, so he was on their level, and nodded knowledgably when they talked about the film they were going to watch. Then he shook each of their hands and said it was lovely to meet them, before producing a pair of chocolate eggs out of his pocket, much to the girls’ delight.

When they departed, in a flurry of happy chatter, he straightened himself up.

“I hope that was all right. Nolan here mentioned that you had daughters, and I thought it only fair to give them a treat as I am interrupting their evening.”

Ralph laughed, “Oh, I wouldn’t worry about the twins. Meeting one of my business associates and an entirely new man was a treat for them anyway. They are, I am afraid to say, ineffably nosey about my private life.” Russ Kahn raised an eyebrow, but Ralph ploughed on. “They’ve been agitating for months for me to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, same with their Mother.”

“Boyfriend or girlfriend?”

Ralph shrugged, “Welcome to the modern world. All their friends have blended families, so they regard it as normal. They are delighted now that Nolan is around.”

“Ah. You and he…”

Nolan went a bit pink, “It’s rather new, and was supposed to be low key.”

Russ Kahn nodded, “Until the accountant fucked you over.”

They had settled with a glass of wine but sat at the table rather than lounging on the squashy sofa.

“First, I must apologise for taking so long to get back to you. I know how important time is in situations like this.”

“That’s OK, I understand you are busy.”

Russ Kahn shrugged, “Out of the country, I’m afraid, and finding communication difficult”. He gave a dry laugh, “We rely over-much on Wi-Fi and struggle when it is not up to snuff.”

“You are here now.”

“Yes. And I have a proposition. I have thought about your business and what it really needs. I don’t think that it needs my investment.” Nolan gave something of a start, but before he said anything Russ Kahn continued. “No, what you need is help and assurance. I will say right now, and will put in writing, that I am happy to guarantee any loan you need from your bank, and if they become problematical then I think we can come to some agreement ourselves for a loan, business to business.”

“Thank you.”

“But that is not my proposal. What you need is exposure and more business, plus, as I understand it from Ralph here, the loss of your capital means that you have not been able to move into your own premises.”

“Yes, we are still renting rooms here and there.”

“And everywhere. Not good. Now, I have a significant interest in a sports club and gym.

“Parborough Perfect Fitness, so I understand.”

“PPF. Precisely. There is some synergy, but I would anticipate that you would not be keen to be subsumed within that. At least, that is how I felt when I was starting my business”, Nolan simply nodded in response. “The club has recently finished a significant capital investment programme, creating new facilities on the adjacent site. Some of the older facilities are about to be made redundant. The plan was to redevelop the old sports halls, making some offices and turning others into more modern facilities. That will not be happening soon. So, for the foreseeable future, they would be available to you.”

“How much space is there”, Nolan’s eyes were wide.

“A large hall, a small hall and a couple of rooms that would suit as offices or treatment rooms.”

Nolan gulped, “That would be wonderful. But could we afford it?” Ralph discreetly squeezed Nolan’s hand under the table.

Russ Kahn stared at him, then looked over at Ralph. Seemingly they passed muster, “My investment in your company is this, you have the first three months rent free, then we, that is you and I, will discuss what is affordable, based on your financial position. I feel that given the right situation you will be well able to rebuild the business. Is this acceptable?”

“It’s fantastic.”

“There is more. You will be able to rent further rooms at the gym, at a beneficial rate”, he gave a dry laugh, “I should hate for you to have to turn away business for lack of suitable space. There is one stipulation.”

“Which is?” Nolan looked dubious.

“Any classes or private sessions that take place at the gym, need to be advertised as Fitness for All at PPF. Is that understood? The marketing people will want to check over your material.”

“Yes, that is fine. It makes things clear.”

“For both of us.”

There was more detail to discuss, and Russ Kahn assured them that Nolan would get the paperwork by Tuesday. Ralph topped up their glasses and they had a toast to their collaboration.

Then Russ Kahn looked at them over non-existent spectacles, “I gather from Morrie that you two are doing a joint shoot for Iverson’s.” He gave a dry laugh, “Welcome to the club.”

Ralph smiled, “It seemed that least we could do. A colleague from ‘WebIdeal’ is joining us for the shoot.”

Russ Kahn laughed, “A form of business sponsorship?”

“You could say that. However, my other colleague Beth decided not to join us.”

“Indeed! I am not sure quite how he managed it, but Morrie has roped me in. Though whether seeing me in one of those flimsy garments will help sell his product, I am not certain.”

“Morrie is certainly not lacking in ideas or confidence in his abilities.”

Russ Kahn nodded, “True, but he has proved his worth so-far, and his ideas seem good.”

Nolan cocked his head on one side, “I wondered whether they might be too advanced for Parborough?”

“Yes, indeed, I think they are. But after all, his audience is not Parborough, is it? He has his eye on the wider pink pound. And besides, my friends Gordon and Brian, who both work at Ares and who are joining me on the shoot, celebrated their marriage by having some nude photographs taken by Edward Hirsch, and very handsome they look too. So, you see, wearing a ‘Show-it Thong’ or whatever, will be nothing to them.”

On that strange, lighter note, Russ Kahn departed. But not before he insisted on saying goodbye to the girls, who were delighted. They might be tomboys, but Ralph noted that they both enjoyed male company. Ice cream was next, and a cuddle on the sofa for the girls before teeth and bed. Nolan phoned Verne while Ralph puts girls to bed.

Despite having to be up promptly the next day, neither man felt like retiring yet, there was too much going on. Ralph poured them both a generous measure of whisky and they tried to unwind.

“What’s the matter?” Nolan looked over at Ralph, “Your brain’s going 20 to the dozen.”

Ralph gave an embarrassed nod, “Russ Kahn’s friends at Ares are called Brian and Gordon.”

“Gordon was your young man’s name.”

“Yeah. There are bound to be lots of Gordons in Parborough.”

Nolan gave a naughty smile, “And probably lots of gay Gordons.”

Ralph rolled his eyes, “But still…”

Nolan didn’t say anything, thankfully, just shook his head.