Path Forward - 4. God's Heart Breaks for the Living

So I am going to be as delicate as possible in my comment. And I hope you can overlook any rough patches you might perceive as unseemly. 

The imagery you invoke is powerful, raw, and filled with longing for someone who has passed. Grieving is a hard process for those of you that experience loss too soon. And your words connected with me, as pure love of poetry, I enjoy talent when I find it. 

With people who shares their words through poetry, finding honesty is always delightful. And your poem, in a religious framework, is perfect and very well written. I shan't ask questions that sprang to mind while reading the piece, as two people with opposing points of view, we can still appreciate good poetry.

I will however ask a question in regards to the actual construction of the piece. Have you ever explored other ways to format your poems? While reading the piece, I found myself pausing in places where I don't think you intended a pause. And the centering of the piece, for me and only my opinion, takes away from the desired affect. 

And if I am over-stepping, I humbly ask that you tell me to mind my own business and I shan't take offense. But you have talent for conveying your ideas and when I'm curious about something, I ask.   

On 1/11/2026 at 6:45 PM, Jason Rimbaud said:

So I am going to be as delicate as possible in my comment. And I hope you can overlook any rough patches you might perceive as unseemly. 

The imagery you invoke is powerful, raw, and filled with longing for someone who has passed. Grieving is a hard process for those of you that experience loss too soon. And your words connected with me, as pure love of poetry, I enjoy talent when I find it. 

With people who shares their words through poetry, finding honesty is always delightful. And your poem, in a religious framework, is perfect and very well written. I shan't ask questions that sprang to mind while reading the piece, as two people with opposing points of view, we can still appreciate good poetry.

I will however ask a question in regards to the actual construction of the piece. Have you ever explored other ways to format your poems? While reading the piece, I found myself pausing in places where I don't think you intended a pause. And the centering of the piece, for me and only my opinion, takes away from the desired affect. 

And if I am over-stepping, I humbly ask that you tell me to mind my own business and I shan't take offense. But you have talent for conveying your ideas and when I'm curious about something, I ask.   

first to answer your question of whether I have thought of formatting my poetry other ways and the simple answer is no. The reason why is my faith is what has gotten me through all the downs that I have had in my life. and the reason for the pauses is because when I read it, it sounded better where the pauses are and also I took a few ideas of a few songs that I love and I reflected on them and that was the first time I did that so that maybe why it was not as perfect as a seasoned poet would be able to do.
and to address your last part you did not overstep at all. and as long as it is done in a kind way I love questions that make me think and better my craft. Thank you for your comments and questions/feedback as well.