Unraveled - 3. Cut the Cord

Jake thought it was weird that Danny had chosen to sit in the back of the bus on the way to Clarion University for band camp. He worried that Danny would get carsick and kept looking back from his usual seat at the front of the bus next to Mr. Reilly to make sure he wasn’t turning green.

“I just want to hang out with the other seniors and not have to listen to you and Mr. Reilly talk about marching practice,” Danny had said as they boarded the bus. Danny was definitely regretting the decision as every bump and turn on the highway made him feel queasier. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

Mr. Reilly spent most of the trip on the phone. One call was to Mr. Taylor, the school principal to talk about a scheduling issue. Another was to Coach Rush to talk about strategy for the upcoming football season. And about three calls were from Billy about baby stuff.

“What happens if the call comes through while you’re away?” Billy asked.

“Babe, you literally planned for everything, especially that. Just trust yourself.”

Brett hung up the phone and turned to Jake. “Let’s talk about marching practice for tomorrow…”

Danny’s phone buzzed in his pocket twice. He didn’t dare try to check it on a moving bus. And he was probably going to feel like throwing up the rest of the day. It wasn’t just the ride. Danny was so anxious about how Jake was going to be all week. He thought about driving Jake to State College himself and leaving him there with Kyle. He dreaded Mr. Reilly getting the adoption call during camp. Jake would be unbearable if Mr. Reilly left him in charge. Sure, Mr. Butler would technically be in charge, but everybody knew Jake would be the boss in Mr. Reilly’s absence.

When the bus arrived at the campus, Danny felt wobbly as he exited the bus, and promptly threw up in a nearby garbage can. Jake took care of getting his and Danny’s things to their room and organized while Danny lay on the dorm bed with a pillow over his head. He just hoped Jake wouldn’t say anything about knowing better than to sit in the back of the bus while Danny recovered.

“We didn’t talk about marching practice the whole time…” Jake said. “You should have sat with me.”

Danny just offered Jake a middle finger as he tried to recover his sense of balance.

“Classy,” Jake replied. “Just don’t do that in front of the band.”

“Why?” Danny asked. “Afraid the freshmen will find out you’re still best friends with a joke?”

“Everyone knows we’re friends,” Jake replied.

“Jake and Danny, BFF’s forever,” Danny replied. Jake didn’t seem to catch the sarcasm in Danny’s voice, or at least didn’t acknowledge it.

“You get some rest, I’m going to check out the campus and then give Kyle a call. Don’t forget we have dinner at five and then marching practice on the field at seven.”

“Ugh… Don’t remind me,” Danny groaned.

Jake went for a walk around the campus. It was familiar territory, after the two previous summer trips. He was glad they weren’t staying at the same dorm as last time. There were too many memories in that place. He found a quiet spot outside under a tree where he could rest for a while and called Kyle.

“Did you know it’s only a hundred miles to get from State College to here?” Jake asked when Kyle answered his call.

“Ninety-five and a half, but who’s counting?” Kyle replied.

“Danny threw up after the bus ride. He’s such an idiot. I don’t know why he decided to ride in the back of the bus on the longest bus ride of the year.”

“Danny does most of his thinking with his heart and not his brain. You know that better than anyone.”

“I know. I just… I feel like something is off with us. I don’t know if he’s jealous of me or if he’s hiding something? And he’s got this mystery girlfriend or boyfriend he’s not talking to me about… There’s a weird vibe between us.”

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“How did I know that was exactly what you were going to say?”

“Maybe because you hate getting into confrontations with him?”

Jake groaned. “My one weakness.”

“It’s not a terrible one. He’s been your best friend since before you can remember.”

“It was always easier when he was the one in a relationship and I was the jealous one. I barely know how to be happy in a relationship. My parents weren’t exactly the greatest role models.”

“Well you should at least try. You have a lot to deal with. When things aren’t right between you and Danny nothing else seems to work. You guys need each other.”

“I know,” Jake sighed. “I’ll talk to him before we go to dinner.”

Jake felt better, but more anxious when he returned to the dorm. He had planned to talk with Danny, but Danny was already gone. Jake assumed he must have felt better and gone to get some dinner and decided that’s where he would go as well.

But what Jake didn’t know was while he had been talking to Kyle on the phone, Danny had finally felt good enough to check his messages. One was from Jake telling him he could come sit up front with him and the other was from Ryan.

“gentle reminder – dont fuck jake at band camp again”

Danny sighed. He typed his reply. “A guy fucks his best friend one time and can never live it down.”

“twice” Ryan replied. “you fucked him twice”

Danny just sent a shrug emoji and went to the bathroom to freshen up. Yes, he knew he fucked up the last time he’d gone to band camp with Jake. How could he forget it when people wouldn’t let him? He decided the best thing to do would be to take a walk before dinner. As he walked he noticed Jake sitting under a tree talking on the phone. Now was as good a time as any to talk. He couldn’t help but overhear Jake’s part of the conversation as he got closer

“…I don’t know if he’s jealous of me or if he’s hiding something? And he’s got this mystery girlfriend or boyfriend he’s not talking to me about… There’s a weird vibe between us…”

Jealous? Jealous?!?! Danny turned around and walked as quickly as he could in the other direction, hoping Jake wouldn’t turn around and see him. “You’re goddamned right there’s a weird vibe between us!” Danny said under his breath. “You’re a fucking asshole! That’s the weird fucking vibe!”

Danny wondered if he could ask Mr. Reilly for a change in his room assignment.

At dinner, Jake searched the cafeteria for any sign of Danny, but to no avail. He grabbed his supper and sat next to Mr. Reilly and the band parents who had come along as chaperones at their table.

“Has anyone seen Danny?” Jake asked.

“I thought he was with you,” Mr. Reilly replied.

“I hope he eats something or he’s going to pass out at practice,”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about Danny,” Mr. Reilly said, more softly so the whole table wouldn’t hear.

“I know. I’ve been trying to tell him he needs to take his role as a captain more seriously but…”

“I know you have,” Mr. Reilly said. “You need to stop it.”

Jake was taken aback. “What? What are you talking about?”

“You need to cut Danny some slack, Jake. You’re not his boss, you’re his friend.”

“But I’m the field commander,” Jake protested. “You put me in charge.”

“Of the band, yes. Not of Danny. Not of any of the section leaders. You are their colleague, not their boss. If there’s a problem with a section leader, I’ll handle it. Not you. Especially with Danny.”

Jake thought about it for a moment. “Did… Did he complain about me or something? Did anyone?”

“No. Jake, no one needed to say anything. I may be distracted by family issues, but I am still responsible for the band and for all of my students, including you. I’m proud of how strong a leader you’ve become. I just don’t want to see your excellence become arrogance.”

Jake didn’t say much after that. He just quietly ate his food and found himself lost in his thoughts. He loathed disappointing Mr. Reilly in any way. He wanted nothing more than to make Mr. Reilly proud of him, even more than his mom or dad. But he knew Mr. Reilly was right. Maybe he had been pushing people too hard, especially Danny.

Danny slipped into the cafeteria and scanned the room. He knew he’d see Jake sitting right next to Mr. Reilly. He was probably bad-mouthing him again, telling Mr. Reilly how much he sucked as a section leader and as a player. The two of them looked like they were having a very important conversation. Danny grabbed some food and escaped the cafeteria without Jake noticing him. He was actually the first student on the field when he arrived. That was a new record. While he waited, Caleb the freshman trumpet player arrived.

“Hey, Danny!”

“Caleb! You ready for the big night?”

“I’m a little nervous. I don’t want to screw up again. Finnegan yelled at me pretty good last week.”

Danny put his arm around Caleb’s shoulder. “Leave him to me,” Danny said. “I think you’re doing a great job!”

“You do?”

“Yeah! You don’t have to be perfect, Caleb. Band is supposed to be fun. You always try your best, even if you mess up sometimes. As long as you’re trying, I think that’s what matters. Mr. Reilly feels that way too. I’d rather you try your best and fail than half-ass it and be okay. So have fun tonight. And if you forget your left from your right, just look at your hand and make a little “L” with your thumb and your finger like this…”

Danny showed Caleb the trick Mr. Reilly had shown him on their very first day of practice. He would never admit he found it helpful, of course, but it really had saved his behind in practice a time or two.

As more students began to arrive on the field Danny felt better. Jake noticed right away where Danny was when he saw the crowd of people gathered around him. Jake was always jealous of how easily Danny could just relate to people, almost effortlessly. Mr. Reilly arrived and instructed Jake to bring the band to attention.

“Welcome to band camp, everyone!” Mr. Reilly said. “You’ve already survived hell week. This week is the chance to truly become one band. We can only do that if we work together. I’m proud of the work you’ve put in so far. This week, I want you to grow as musicians, as a marching unit, but just as importantly, as friends. Hard work builds strong foundations. Let’s rock this place.”

Practice was amazing. Mr. Reilly saw the years of hard work everyone had done was paying off. These kids were his kids. They marched. They had fun. They were becoming exactly what Mr. Reilly knew they could be – one band.

And then his cell phone rang. Brett stepped away from the field to take the call. The band could have kept marching, but Jake brought them to a halt.

“When?” Mr. Reilly said.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

Everyone watched and waited.

“No, it’ll be a couple hours but I’ll be there as soon as I can…”

“Okay, I’m on my way. I love you too…”

Brett turned off his phone and looked at his band.

“Holy shit! I’m a dad,” he said. “It’s a girl…”

Everyone on the field whooped and hollered and cheered! Practice was over and the celebration began! Handshakes, hugs, and well wishes for Mr. Reilly’s new family were given. One of the band parents was ready to drive Mr. Reilly to the hospital in Pittsburgh to meet his new daughter. The biggest hug was from Jake, who promised to take care of the band until Mr. Reilly would return. And then the whirlwind of activity moved from the field to the dorms.

Just as curfew was called and everyone had to be in their rooms, Danny slid into the dorm, hoping Jake would be asleep. Instead, he found Jake wide awake on his phone with Kyle. Of course…

“Yeah, he’s back…. I will… I will! Okay, good night… Yeah, I will… I love you too…. No, I love you more… I miss you… Bye…” Jake wrapped up his call.

“How’s Mr. Perfect?” Danny asked.

“Lonely,” Jake replied.

“Aw,” Danny said sarcastically.

“Danny, are you angry with me?” Jake asked.

“No more than usual.” Danny replied.

“I’m serious. Something’s been off between us for a while now. I don’t understand why.”

“I don’t know. Why don’t you talk to your boyfriend about it?”

“Because this isn’t about him. This is about us.”

“Is there an ‘us’ anymore, Jake?”

“I hope there still is. Talk to me. What’s the matter? What can I do to make things right?”

“Well for one, you can stop talking about me behind my back.”

“What are you talking about? I’m not talking about you.”

“Sure, Jake.”

“Seriously! Danny, if I’ve said anything that’s upset you or made you feel that way I’m sorry! But I really don’t understand what I did!”

“Of course not. That would require you to get your head out of your own ass and pay attention to someone besides your boyfriend or Mr. Reilly.”

“I do pay attention to you!”

“You do? Funny. I hadn’t noticed! I guess you were too busy playing Roblox with Ryan to tell me!”

“I… I don’t even play Roblox… How did you even know about…”

“I was with Ryan when you called him,” Danny said.

“But… But I thought you two hated each other.”

“No, Jake. If you had been paying attention you might have known that Ryan is the guy I’ve been sleeping with you were so curious about.”

Jake needed a moment to process that one. “You mean… You’re sleeping with my ex?”

“Yeah. And if you weren’t so wrapped up in your own little world I might have told you on Saturday when you couldn’t even be bothered to spend a little time with me. Or you might have figured it out for yourself. But then you’d have to actually give a shit about someone besides Kyle.”

“I don’t understand what you’re asking for, Danny. I mean, I’m allowed to miss my boyfriend while he’s a hundred miles away.”

“But not at the expense of your other friends, Jake! I needed you this summer! I’m this close to a mental fucking breakdown and I’ve had no one to talk to about it! You’ve always been the only one I could talk to about the serious stuff. You think Ryan’s my secret boyfriend but it’s not about a relationship. It’s literally just sex. I can’t talk to him like I can talk to you, or at least the way I could have before you got field commander and got all power hungry.”

“That’s not fair, Danny! I have a lot of responsibility. Mr. Reilly needs me! Kyle is so far away and lonely! You don’t understand the pressure I’m under. How was I supposed to know what you were feeling?”

“Exactly. You wouldn’t know, because all you think about is yourself and your own problems.”

“And you’re the king of being a good friend? How long have you been fucking my ex who is only my ex because you fucked me?”

“Yeah, it’s all my fault. Everything is always my fault. Isn’t it? You were just an innocent bystander in all this and not a participant. I wasn’t the one who asked you to sleep in my bed! You were the one who asked me to hold you. You were the one who kissed me that night. You were the one who took my pants off. I only slept with you because you wanted me to. And I wasn’t the one who was in a relationship at the time. That was you. You’ve been making me feel like shit for a fucking year because of that night! You’re the one who should feel like shit, not me!”

“I do feel like shit! You don’t think I know what happened that night? I lost my boyfriend because of what we did!”

“And then you got another one! What did I get? I got to be the scapegoat! You got all the glory. You got the big part in the Phantom, I got the auctioneer. You get to be field commander, I had to scratch and claw just to make it to section leader. You get to be the hero, and I’m just a joke. It’s not fair! Girls don’t want me because I’m bi. Boys don’t want me because I’m not gay. I’m just a big fucking joke to everybody. And you! You’re the one laughing the most! Every time I fuck up, there you are! Every mistake I make, there you are to make me feel like crap! And when you fuck up? Oh! That’s Danny’s fault too! And you do fuck up, Jake. I got outed at school because you were being a jealous bitch about Lydia and fucked up my life!”

“That was not my fault! Nick’s the one who told everyone!”

“Because you fucked up what I had with Lydia by being a jealous little asshole! You tried to ruin my birthday party! Remember? ‘Daniel has a hard time deciding what he wants sometimes.’ Remember that? You told Lydia I send out mixed signals and all that shit! If you hadn’t done that, Lydia wouldn’t have gone digging into my life and Nick would have never known! You blame me for you and Ryan breaking up, but you broke me and Lydia up first!”

“So what do you want me to do then? Am I supposed to break up with Kyle so you’ll feel better about yourself?”

“No, I just want you to not be a shit friend!”

“Oh? Okay! Sorry my perfect fucking life offends you so much! Do you even hear yourself? You know better than anybody what a shit life I’ve had! Band is like the one thing I’ve got that doesn’t suck! This whole argument is over stupid fucking shit that I had no control over!”

“You really don’t get it, do you, Jake? I’m done. I’m tired of being everybody’s joke. I’m tired of being talked about behind my back. And most of all, I’m tired of you! I want a new roommate. I don’t want to be in the same room with you. I would quit the band too if people weren’t counting on me.”

“That’s fine with me. I might get upset about something in practice and end up convincing you to fuck me if you don’t get out. I wouldn’t want you to feel guilty about that, asshole.”

Danny scowled at Jake. “Don’t talk to me for the rest of the night. I’ll find someone else to bunk with tomorrow. And you can go fuck yourself.”

“And you can go fuck my ex-boyfriend without worrying about hurting my feelings, since you obviously don’t give a shit about my feelings anyway.”

Both boys slept with their backs to each other. Neither one got much sleep. While the boys lay restlessly in Clarion, Brett Reilly arrived in Pittsburgh at Magee Women’s Hospital. Brett rushed through security and to the maternity ward, which for Billy and Brett was the paternity ward for the night. Brett found the room and quickly slipped inside, where he found Billy in a rocking chair with the tiniest little baby Brett had ever seen. Tears formed in his eyes at the sight of his beautiful husband already becoming a natural at rocking the baby.

“Say hi to Daddy,” Billy whispered to their daughter. “Everything went perfectly.”

Billy handed the baby over to Brett, and Brett took Billy’s place in the rocking chair. Brett held her gently.

“She’s so tiny!”

“Well, she came a week early. Guess band camp will have to survive without you.”

“I think they’ll be okay,” Brett smiled. “We’re parents, Billy. We’re really fucking parents.”

“Don’t swear in front of the baby,” Billy scolded with a smile.

Brett blushed and sang to his new daughter. “Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful… beautiful girl…”

Brett smiled at Betty. “Lennon,” he said.

“I know,” Billy replied.

“You realize you’re not getting her back the rest of the night,” Brett joked.

Billy faked a wounded groan.

“You don’t think the name is too long do, you?” he asked.

“Elizabeth Helen Reilly-Roberts? Sounds perfect to me. Our little Betty.”

Billy smiled. “I still think Roberts-Reilly sounds better.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Brett said to his daughter. “Daddy’s just being difficult. You’ll get used to it eventually… like I had to.”

Billy pretended to wipe his eye with his middle finger.