A Fool's Thoughts - 4. Still all black.

I loved this, Adi. It reminded me of a love letter, and I particularly liked the imagery of the black hair on the pillow. 'Grimmest' was a great word in this... it added much power to the sentiment of protecting what you have. Sorry, but I can't comment on the German... cheers... Gary...

'...picture stories on your skin' - tattoos? That's the first thing that came to mind.

Your dragon must be so happy.

I might love this more than the last...not sure. I think it's a tie.

You make your poems read so effortlessly, and I think that's a real talent. =)

On 09/10/2015 07:38 AM, Headstall said:

I loved this, Adi. It reminded me of a love letter, and I particularly liked the imagery of the black hair on the pillow. 'Grimmest' was a great word in this... it added much power to the sentiment of protecting what you have. Sorry, but I can't comment on the German... cheers... Gary...

Thank you, Gary. A love letter, yes. Ha, I had to look up 'grimmest', see if it's actually a word, lol. So glad it worked for you. I won't write anymore poems in German, just this one in my 'Black Series'.

On 09/10/2015 12:19 PM, Lisa said:

'...picture stories on your skin' - tattoos? That's the first thing that came to mind.

 

Your dragon must be so happy.

 

I might love this more than the last...not sure. I think it's a tie.

 

You make your poems read so effortlessly, and I think that's a real talent. =)

Yes! You know these picture stories... Thank you for your kind words, Lisa. 'a real talent'...I'm honored.

I think all the requirements for a perfect Ghazal are met in this poem. I very much like the way colours play a part in many of your poems and hope to see one with the title "rainbow" at one point (hint, hint). Sad to see there won't be any poems in German anymore, for the word "Schuppenflügeln" equals in beauty the word "Himmelschlüsselblumen" from the St. Matthew Passion.
I give you the green light for many more black-themed poems. Thanks, Adi.
Peter

On 09/10/2015 10:12 PM, J.HunterDunn said:

I think all the requirements for a perfect Ghazal are met in this poem. I very much like the way colours play a part in many of your poems and hope to see one with the title "rainbow" at one point (hint, hint). Sad to see there won't be any poems in German anymore, for the word "Schuppenflügeln" equals in beauty the word "Himmelschlüsselblumen" from the St. Matthew Passion.

I give you the green light for many more black-themed poems. Thanks, Adi.

Peter

Thank you, Peter. I had to try the Ghazal for my 'Black Poems' in my language as required. There are only a few, who actually understand it though, and the translation is never as good as the original poem. This is the reason, why there probably won't be any more poems in German. I'm glad you like it and even honor it by comparing it with the St. Matthew Passion. Is Bach your favorite composer?

Ah, now this is a challenge I like. A 'rainbow' poem...

Danke, Peter.

I think this is a very fine Ghazal. I like how you made the word of refrain, Schwarz, a complete sentence. That's an intriguing idea…I just may have to borrow it when approaching my own Ghazal

During my first reading, I puzzled a bit over Rot, but now I suspect that it's the poet's signature. If that's the case, then congratulations, you have written a true-to-form Ghazal with all the requirements met (of course, that's the poetry prompt creator in me speaking).

This is a beautiful poem, and it touched me. It's nice to see when a newly acquired poetic form takes over a poet's brain! It’s happened to me many times before. Cheers, Adi.

On 09/11/2015 06:15 AM, AC Benus said:

I think this is a very fine Ghazal. I like how you made the word of refrain, Schwarz, a complete sentence. That's an intriguing idea…I just may have to borrow it when approaching my own Ghazal

 

During my first reading, I puzzled a bit over Rot, but now I suspect that it's the poet's signature. If that's the case, then congratulations, you have written a true-to-form Ghazal with all the requirements met (of course, that's the poetry prompt creator in me speaking).

 

This is a beautiful poem, and it touched me. It's nice to see when a newly acquired poetic form takes over a poet's brain! It’s happened to me many times before. Cheers, Adi.

I have to thank you for reminding me of the Ghazal form. I had forgotten all about it, just the name has been somewhat familiar. The first (Smile) is a summary, the second (Freedom) an interpretation and as Gary already said, the third is a love letter. I'm intrigued by this form, especially the strict version. It's more forceful, focusing ah well... I won't write an essay here, lol.

I'm really glad you like it, that you found something you could rely on, and yes this time my signature is red. Normally it's blue.