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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Four Letter Words - 1. BRAT

Thank-you Kitt for your editing assistance.

“My brother’s a brat and I kind of hate him.”

 

I paused, watching as the crowd in front of me shuffled uncomfortably in their seats. I stood at the podium, resting on it with my fingers intertwined.

 

“I know I shouldn’t be saying that, because he’s my brother and all, but it’s true.”

 

Again, I paused. Everyone in the crowd before me was looking incredibly uncomfortable and obviously had no idea where I was going with this. Frankly, I didn’t know, either. I was winging all of this, saying whatever popped into my head.

 

“One time, he changed all the clocks in the house to be 3 hours earlier. I ended up getting up at 4 and thinking it was 7. I got all the way to school before I realized that it was way earlier than I thought. I could have walked back home, but then I would have had to face him. I definitely would have beat the living daylights out of him. I was so angry with him, I really, really hated him for a while after that.”

 

I couldn’t help but have a smile creep its way onto my face, but I hid that by looking down at my feet. In retrospect, it was kind of funny. “His pranks never actually hurt me, he just kind of made my life interesting.” I looked up and noticed that a couple in the back row were leaving.

 

“Oh, probably the best prank he pulled on me was when he added permanent dye to my shampoo. I had blue hair for weeks and weeks! It took absolutely forever for the dye to come out, it was terrible.”

 

But was he doing that to torture me? Looking back, he seemed to call me Mr. Blue with a bit of pride in his voice. All the other kids at school made fun of me, but not him.

 

“After like a month though, he’d actually help me scrub my hair, to try and wash it off. I never really thought about it until now, but I guess that was his way of saying he loved me. He never would just say it normally… he must have been trying to express himself through pulling pranks on me.”

 

I sighed, as my perception about my brother was shifting, fundamentally. Looking through the crowd, I could see the faces before me soften, as they picked up on my changing emotions. I looked at the front row, where my mom was sitting. She smiled at me and nodded.

 

“I love my brother, too. It makes me so sad that I haven’t realized this up until now. He never hated me, like I thought he did. He’s not a brat. He’s my loving little brother that looked up to me and was just trying to express something that he wasn’t able to put into words.”

 

I stepped back from the wooden podium and turned around. I approached the open coffin of my little brother.

 

“I love you too. I’m so sorry. I wish I realized this sooner and could have told you this. I’ll miss you forever.”

Copyright © 2014 advocatus diaboli; All Rights Reserved.
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Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
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Now that's a speech!

 

BRAT begins with a line of dialogue that would typically occur in the kitchen over the cookie jar or out in the pool during or in the hall walking to the cafeteria. It then pulls the rug under our feet, licks it, says, "I love pulling rugs, don't you?" and reveals that this is a speech being given to an audience of people.

 

Through the carefully-directed dialogue of the speaker, we see how the way a person speaks about themself and those around them can actually work a change on the individual internally. Words are not just words, but at the same time, the story also demonstrates how words are just words, because these aren't the words we are "supposed" to use at occasions like this. I know I would make a speech like this, because I too am a total brat, so I can sympathize with the main character and his brother and see how the author brought in a subtle nod to the bratty similarity of the brothers.

 

I liked how there wasn't a clear reference on how the characters came to be in this situation, but one thing I would have enjoyed even more was a more deft touch with the dialogue. I figured out very quickly exactly what type of social situation this was, and if it were a little more vague, then the reveal at the end would have actually felt more like a surprising reveal and not a confirmation of what I was thinking. Nevertheless, that may have been the author's point and the work has no major flaws, at least in my estimation.

 

I like the idea of a four-letter anthology of short stories. The surprisingly original details of deadbro's comic abuse were refreshing as well. Usually, I see a lot of writers crap out only general examples of pranks, and I'm glad you didn't, because I'm going to have to keep that blue hair dye one handy for the future when my roommate pisses me off. Perhaps I'm just emotionally broken or something, but I laughed and smiled more than I felt sad while reading this. I love dark humor.

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On 09/16/2013 09:36 AM, thebrinkoftime said:
Now that's a speech!

 

BRAT begins with a line of dialogue that would typically occur in the kitchen over the cookie jar or out in the pool during or in the hall walking to the cafeteria. It then pulls the rug under our feet, licks it, says, "I love pulling rugs, don't you?" and reveals that this is a speech being given to an audience of people.

 

Through the carefully-directed dialogue of the speaker, we see how the way a person speaks about themself and those around them can actually work a change on the individual internally. Words are not just words, but at the same time, the story also demonstrates how words are just words, because these aren't the words we are "supposed" to use at occasions like this. I know I would make a speech like this, because I too am a total brat, so I can sympathize with the main character and his brother and see how the author brought in a subtle nod to the bratty similarity of the brothers.

 

I liked how there wasn't a clear reference on how the characters came to be in this situation, but one thing I would have enjoyed even more was a more deft touch with the dialogue. I figured out very quickly exactly what type of social situation this was, and if it were a little more vague, then the reveal at the end would have actually felt more like a surprising reveal and not a confirmation of what I was thinking. Nevertheless, that may have been the author's point and the work has no major flaws, at least in my estimation.

 

I like the idea of a four-letter anthology of short stories. The surprisingly original details of deadbro's comic abuse were refreshing as well. Usually, I see a lot of writers crap out only general examples of pranks, and I'm glad you didn't, because I'm going to have to keep that blue hair dye one handy for the future when my roommate pisses me off. Perhaps I'm just emotionally broken or something, but I laughed and smiled more than I felt sad while reading this. I love dark humor.

Once again, an essay of a review and intimidating. :P But ultimately, a really good thing!

 

The entire short is a balance between dialogue moving the emotional transformation forward and deceiving the reader. It was a really challenging balance to maintain, but I think I did it well enough.

 

Yeah! Words really are more then just wonders sometimes. As this character is giving the eulogy, he's having fundamental realizations about his brother. That was another big point as well, this isn't the type of eulogy that you'd give at ANY funeral, ESPECIALLY your little brother's. I tried to make that point by having the couple walk out half-way through. That's not really something that would normally happen.

 

I like to keep it vague! The vague you are with needless details, the less likely you are to trip up with continuity or bog the story down. I like to keep it light and to the essentials.

 

I like that you figured it out, haha. But glad that most other's don't seem to. :P Like I said, it was a difficult balance to maintain, between moving the story forward and deceiving the reader. But thank-you.

 

I like the idea, too. I actually found a Scrabble-approved list of all 4-letter words. It was a little over 5,500 words long. It took me several hours, but I narrowed it down to about 500. From those 500, I picked words that I had some sort of vague story idea about.

 

I have another one ready to go, and am in the process of writing another one. I have ideas for half a dozen more that I just need to put onto paper.

 

You and me both. ;)

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Oh my God, I got so caught up in thinking about the pranks my brothers pull on me that when I reached the end and found out it was a funeral, soooooooooooo sad. But, a great little story, you totally reeled me in and then dropped a bomb on me, good job.

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