All I Ever Wanted - 3. Chapter 3

After lunch at my house I rushed into the shower. Christopher had told me as soon as I could. I wouldn’t want to waste any minute then. I grabbed my books and left my mom a message with our cleaning lady.

When I made it to Christopher’s I was surprised to see his father was coming out.

“Hi Mr. Robin,” I greeted him.

“Hello Josiah,” he said to me hastily.

“How’s work?”

“Wouldn’t know. I am running late!” he said laughing.

“Well, good luck sir,”

“Thanks. Christopher’s on his room. He is expecting you,” he said jumping to his car.

I pushed the gate open and entered. There was a small grass area at my right, but it was beautifully decorated. To my left, a small metal table painted in gold with two chairs. It seemed like the perfect place to have an afternoon coffee.

I slowly opened the front door and once again felt overwhelmed by the always silent atmosphere that characterized Christopher’s house. I closed the door and made my way upstairs. The silent was replaced by loud music coming from Christopher’s room. The door was slightly open so I just had to push it a bit more.

It was a perfect sight. Christopher lay on his back doing exercises. He was shirtless and one could easily see how his abs were contracting. He was showered in sweat, but it just made him look even hotter. He wouldn’t have noticed anyone because he was giving his back to me and the music was way too loud.
I knocked and he suddenly turned around.

“I’m sorry,” he said with what seemed like a blush, but it was probably just hot from all the exercising.

He quickly went to the computer and lowered the volume of the music.

“It’s ok. Now I know why you have such an awesome body,” I managed to say laughing, without sounding too suspicious.

“Thanks,” he said and I was one hundred percent sure he was blushing. “I’m sorry. I can not work like this. Do you mind if I go and take a quick shower?”

“Not at all. Go ahead,”

Of course I didn’t want to. I wanted to work with him just the way he was. Shirtless, so manly.
He grabbed a towel from his closet and headed toward the bathroom.

“Oh, the computer is all yours,” he offered while closing the door.

I wanted to check my facebook but decided not to. I didn’t want to take advantage of Christopher’s hospitality. So, I went to the couch he had on his bedroom and just sat down waiting for him to come out.

If I thought that he flexing was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen, then I had been wrong. Christopher came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist, exposing his naked upper-body. The abs looked great, and he had amazing pecs. His arms were strong and well defined. I still don’t know how I made it through that sight.

“I’m sorry. I’ll go out so you can change,” I said quickly.

“Nah. It’s ok. I mean, we are the same. Nothing to hide,” he said smiling.

I just smiled and went along with it.
He was about to take off his towel and reveal himself completely. So I did what everyone would’ve done: I quickly turned my eyes in other direction.

I mean, I wanted to see. God knows how much. To admire him as he came to this world. But I couldn’t and I wasn’t going to.
In a matter of seconds he was fully dressed up.

“Now you can look,” he said laughing.

I just froze for an instant, afraid he might have sense something. But later I regain my strength and turned to him.
His damp hair felt straight down and looked kind of emo-ish but it suited him perfectly.

I didn’t know why I couldn’t be myself when I was with him. In other circumstances, I would have joked about what just happened. I would have had my confidence and not feel intimidated. But he made me feel vulnerable and weak. Like, it would take him just one word and I’d faint.

“You know,” I started trying to sound like I usually was. “We know this whole charade was for me to look at you,”

He laughed and I went on.

“You obviously wanted to expose yourself, but then again, I’ve seen better,”

He laughed harder this time and quickly responded.

“I doubt that,”

“Trust me, what you selling I ain’t buying!”

But of course I would have bought him. No matter the price.

He smiled cockily and punched me in the shoulder. A friendly punch.

“So, we better get started,” he said.

The afternoon succeeded my expectations. We worked on our presentation and got to know each other more and more. I learned so many new things about him. But the more I learned, the more I realized that maybe I was wrong. Like, I ignored so many things about him. How could I love him then?

Because all this time I had always told myself that.
That I loved him.

But, maybe I was indeed wrong. Maybe it was just a crush, mixed with a little bit of lust.
I can not deny I had thought way too many times about Christopher in a sexual way. I wondered what it felt to be with him, enclosed by his strong arms, feeling protected. I wondered what it felt to kiss his light red lips, or how hard would his abs feel to my touch. I had thought many times what it would feel like to make love to him.

But now that seemed so far away. He was an amazing person. We had many things in common and I was starting to see him as a friend. It seemed that slowly, the lust was going to be replaced by real friendship feelings.
We finished right before the clock read 5:00 pm. By then, we were just hanging out, still talking about miscellaneous things. Christopher was lying down on his bed and I was again sitting on his couch.

“So you sure you don’t want to check your facebook?”

“It’s ok. I’ll get to it when I get home,”

“So at what time are you leaving?”

“You already want me gone?” I said trying to make my tone sound as if I had been hurt.

“NO!” he said quickly and that made me give him a questioning look. “I’m sorry. It’s just that you are fun to hung out with,”

“You are too,” I complimented him.

“So, is our third date going to be about school work too?”

I laughed and went along with the flow.

“You know, we never actually had a first date,” I said smiling.

“You are right. It didn’t go out really well,”

We both laughed because I didn’t feel bothered at all anymore about what had happened with his brother. I was starting to warm up to Christopher.

“You should come back tomorrow. Maybe we can play some videogames,” he offered.

“That’d be nice,” I said. “So this means you do want me gone right now!”

“Mia casa es suya casa,” he said smiling.

“Mi casa es su casa, you dork!” I corrected him sticking my tongue out.

He threw a pillow at me. It hit me and he laughed. I grabbed it and ran toward the bed, ready to hit him with it. He grabbed my arm and next thing I knew, he was on top of me, holding me by both arms, unable to escape. His face was so near his breath smelled of mint.

“And this is the part when we kiss,” he said, leaning closer to seal the gap between us…

“Jo? JOSIAH?”

I shook my head and turn my eyes to Christopher who was still lying on his bed.

“Sorry, man. I hit you hard with the pillow, I guess,”

I blushed and started laughing nervously.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh! Nothing. I was just thinking,”

“About?”

“Can’t tell!”

“Why?”

“It’s private!” I said to him, slowly approaching his bed.

“How private?”

“I’d-have-to-kill-you-if-I-told-you private,” I laughed.

“You know. They always say that, but it’s never that private! And we just said private way too many times!”

“Don’t worry. It’s nothing,”

He laughed and grabbed me. Next thing I knew, he was again holding me in the bed.

“Tell me…”

“Crap! Did you hit me with a pillow again?” I asked a bit angry.

He frowned and let me go.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nothing. Wild imagination I have,” I said.

“Now do you?” he said in a really cute way.

Long ago I would’ve thought he was flirting with me, but I knew that he wasn’t into guys. And I was getting to like him more and more as a friend.

“Now, now, Christopher. Calm down or I will start thinking you want to get in bed with me,” I said with full confidence, sounding as my usual self. I used to joke with everyone like that.

He just laughed and stood up, stretching his legs and arms.

“Now, where the hell is chivalry? Help me up!” I said extending my arm so that he could help me.

He laughed again, grabbed my hand and easily helped me.

“You know, you make me laugh so much,” Christopher said smiling.

“Yeah. I have that effect on people. Among others,” I winked at him.

He smiled and lightly punched me in the shoulder. It felt right, like we had been friends forever. And for the first time, I did not think of him as object of my desires. He was just Christopher. My friend.

That night was the first night I slept without him in my mind. Well, at least not how he used to be. I was really happy we had started being friends.
Next day at school was actually nice. I had Math class with him again and we sat down next to each other. Every now and then we would make conversation and just talk and joke. Of course, my feelings had not entirely disappeared, but were slowly being repressed. I still wondered what would be like to be with him, but the more time I spent with him, the more I realized he was so much more than a sexual object to me. He was becoming a true friend.

That afternoon I went to his house to play some videogames just like we had agreed. Aside from a really awkward moment when Kevin opened the gate for me, the evening went uneventful.
We played and just got to know each other more. But there was something that was beginning to trouble me.
We had been classmates for almost two years now. We had talked and make small conversations every now and then. In the middle of those years I fell in love with him. But we had never spent so much time together like how we did now.

“You suck at this,” I told him.

“I do not. I just let you win,” he said while putting the Xbox Control down.

“Yeah right!”

I wanted to know. I needed to clear my head. Because the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to know.

“Why did you ask me to come?” I asked him.

I must have taken him by surprise because he went expressionless.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, all of a sudden you and I start to hang out like we are childhood buddies!”

“Is something wrong with that?” he said as if my words had hurt him.

“Not at all. I just want to know,”

“Well, it was Monday,” he said. “After you came and helped me with Math, I realized you didn’t have too. But still, you helped me. That shows a lot about you. I guess I wanted to get to know you better. Truth be told, you are quite intimidating,”

I laughed but he went on.

“Don’t make fun. It’s true! I hesitated in asking for your help. I was scared,”

“Of me?” I said quite surprised.

“Yeah. I thought you wouldn’t reply. You know, because of how you are,”

“And how am I?” I asked, not at all offended but a bit curious.

He didn’t want to answer.

“Come on, Christopher. Spill it!”

“You are such a bitch!” he said shyly.

I laughed so loud I swear somebody out must have heard me.

“Wow,” was all I could manage.

“You are not angry, right?”

“Angry? No. Surprised? Yes”

He blushed lightly, but enough for me to notice.

“Don’t worry, I understand what you mean. I’m just myself,” I said.

“And I like you for that!” he said looking at me.

For a minute I thought that the conversation was going toward something more but that’s when Kevin entered the room.

“Chris, Dad’s on the phone,” he said.

“Be right back,” Christopher said to me and I nodded.

Awkwardness crept into the room as Christopher left Kevin and me alone. I didn’t know exactly why he stayed.

When Christopher came back, Kevin left. Perhaps he thought I was going to steal something, so he had to watch me?

“I’m sorry, Josiah. My dad’s picking me up in 10 minutes. We are going to grab something to eat,”

I completely understood. I went and grabbed my books.

“Don’t worry. It was getting a bit late,”

We walked outside in complete silence. But it felt nice. The sky was now dusk orange and the sun was setting right behind the mountains. It was a beautiful moment.

“So, when do we get our fourth date?”

“I told you I want a proper first date!” I said.

“Do you?” he said seriously.

“Of course I do,” I said leaning over, his lips inches away from mine.

“You know, you shouldn’t be that bold, mister,” he said, not stepping away.

“You do not have the guts,” I whispered.

“Do you?” he whispered back.

We were so near his scent intoxicated me. I don’t know how, but it didn’t make me vulnerable anymore. If only, it made me stronger. More confident.

I slept wonderfully that night.