Keraunophobia

As a retired counselor, of course I was caught by the title first, and then with the story as it progressed.  I find it actually more realistic - disjointed and all - as it truly depicts the working through grief and finding out the truth of his existence.  Of course, the anger, anxiety, fear, and determination to find the truth would follow the circuitous route you so aptly described.  Once I started reading, I did so every moment I had a chance over the past two days! 

Tony F

If you like mysteries and a good thriller, then I would recommend this story to you.  There are a lot of flashbacks as Austin in trying to deal with his fear of thunder and lightning storms, as the title suggests, but you'll find clues in those flashbacks that will help you understand some of the emotions and better understand the final outcome of the story.  

As a freelance editor I found this a little bit (by design I'm sure) disjointed. The flashbacks are, of course, part of the whole story, but they can be distracting. I think this may be why, if you had a (hidden) counter to track how many readers left before finishing the story you might be surprised by the drop out rate. 

My initial advice would be to split the story up into 3-5 chapters, with cliffhangers. There are 'natural' spots were '...to be continued' would occur nicely, and the following chapter would fit neatly, like a hand in a glove. 

Overall I like the story and wanted to give it 4 1/2 stars.

Will be looking at more of your stories (especially as this C-19 spins out of control, because we're not "out of the woods" yet and I've not found a safe 'old oak tree'). 

Tony

Ps: Story name. Hmm, too coincidental? Astraphobia is better than the other 4+ clinical names which are tongue-twisters.

This was skillfully written. The choice of not chaptering this story was right. Yes, it's long, but it needs to be read as is. Chapters would reduce its impact, in my opinion.

The unconventional style only added to the air of mystery in this piece.

Do yourself a favour. Set aside some time to read this, make a coffee and enjoy both.

Brilliant.