1550 Loring Lane - 6. Chapter 6 -Button

Chapter 6 - Button

@TheCrazyArkie – “I just want a little guy I can pick up and kiss, or throw over my shoulder and carry around.”

Craig took a sip of his coffee and watched the barista in the little Dunn Brothers coffeehouse as he made something with the steamer nozzle. He couldn’t help but stare at the diminutive man as he worked the espresso machine with such ease. Craig’s attention was so rapt he didn’t notice the woman brush against him as she passed by.

“Sorry about that,” she said smiling at Craig.

“No problem,” Craig said looking away from that adorable man behind the counter.

“Is this seat taken?” she asked him. Craig shook his head. He really didn’t want company right now. He was reveling in watching the short, slim man as he worked. Last thing he needed was some chatty chick breaking into his morning routine.

“It’s just every seat has been taken and I really need to just sit for a minute,” the impossibly blue Mohawk haired woman explained shrugging out of her coat. “It’s just freezing out.”

Craig grunted at her and returned to his crossword puzzle. He hoped his actions would forgo any mindless talk about the weather or something. Craig bit the end of his pen as he tried to think of what the four letter word for the ‘2004 Chevy debut’ was. It started with an ‘A’ and he couldn’t remember any car names like that. He looked back over at Graham, the barista, as he greeted another patron with that 100 watt smile.

“So, you must live around here,” his uninvited guest said. He noticed her staring at him.

“I live in the apartment building down the street from here,” Craig groused and bent closer to his newspaper.

“I just moved here and don’t know anyone yet. It’s so lonely moving into a city where you don’t have any friends,” she said and sipped at her own brew. “Oh, that IS good.”

“Yeah, it can be lonely sometimes,” Craig agreed and hope that would be the end of it. “Aveo,” he said out loud.

“Huh?” she said looking at him intently.

“Oh, just figured out a clue on my puzzle,” Craig said smiling at her. He noticed she was kinda pretty, in that punk sort of way. She had a nose ring and an eyebrow piercing. Her face was very white but her cheeks were bright pink contrasting with the bright blue of her hair..

“Oh, that’s cool,” she said taking another sip. “By the way, my name is Aimee, with two E’s.”

“I’m Craig. So what brings you to the Cities?” he found himself asking and from that moment on, his fate was sealed.

Craig was surprised at how he was responding to this woman, really more of an older teen than an adult. She was vivacious and sunny and quite attractive. He hadn’t noticed a woman in quite some time. Craig considered himself bi leaning gay and for the first time in a while, this woman, Aimee, had piqued his interest.

Maybe just being without someone for so long did it to him. Regardless, they ended up going out clubbing that night and somehow ended up in bed together. It had been over a year since he’d had sex. That may have had something to do with it. But, Craig found himself responding to Aimee and she was quite amorous that night.

They never met up again.

A year later…

“I’m done with this shit,” Craig said deleting his Grindr account for the sixth time in three months. “I just want a little guy I can pick up and kiss, or throw over my shoulder and carry around.”

Craig got up and walked to his bedroom. He shuffled around in his closet looking for something, anything that looked cool. He was going out on the town, probably to Boystown. All the cute guys went there on Thirsty Thursdays and he was over meet ups on the computer. Craig pulled out some skinny black jeans and a bright red shirt with silver buttons. If he actually saw someone interesting and talked to them, maybe he wouldn’t feel so alone.

“I look ridiculous,” Craig said to his mirror. His big barrel chest and ample gut made the red shirt look like he was wearing a sausage casing. The skinny jeans made his legs look like toothpicks. Craig was a big, burly man and these clothes just weren’t designed to make someone like him look attractive.

In the end, he wore a flannel shirt and regular jeans which flattered him but looked outdated and odd.

No one at Boystown had even looked his way. Craig wasn’t shy though and tried talking with some of the cuter guys his age. For the most part, they either ignored him or found someone else they needed to talk to. He left and walked towards his apartment ten blocks away.

As he walked through Loring Park to his complex, he thought about his loneliness and the way other men his age acted. It wasn’t fair. He was a nice looking man who had his head screwed on right. Why didn’t anyone see past his exterior and notice he was a good guy? “God, I hate gay boys. They are so fucking superficial,” he said passing a tree with a squirrel in it.

The squirrel looked up startled by the young man. Craig noticed there was a splash of blue on the top of the damned thing's head like someone splashed paint on it or something.

“Boo,” Craig said to the squirrel, but the little furry creature just looked back at him blinking.

“Can’t even get that furry little tree rat to respond to me,” he shrugged and headed for home.

The night sky was amazingly brilliant given all the lights downtown. Tonight it seemed there were more stars than normal. The moon was even overtaken by the sparkling lights of the suns far away. Craig felt his annoyance with the world fade as the sky twinkled at him. Some things were just bigger than he and his loneliness.

When he got into the building, he looked down the hallway. There was something lying in front of his door, a kind of bundle of blankets. Weird.

As he approached the bundle, he heard a sound coming from it. What the…?

It was crying. Craig squatted down and looked at the bundle and a little face looked back at him. It was a baby. Why was there a baby outside his apartment door?

He picked up the squalling infant and immediately it stopped crying and reached a little hand toward his face. In spite of the strange nature of finding a baby on his doorstep, he smiled at the little thing. So cute.

Craig looked down at the carrier and blankets and saw a piece of paper folded neatly into thirds and lying at the bottom. He picked it up and looked at it. The top sheet said this:

“Craig,

I’m sorry about this. I thought I could take care of him but I can’t. It’s too hard and so I want you to do what you think is best.

Your friend,

Aimee”

‘Aimee?’ Craig thought. ‘Who the hell is Aimee?’ The big guy thought and thought and then that day came back to him. It was that punk girl he’d hooked up with. That was her name but why was there a baby on his doorstep?

“What is she talking about?” Craig said to the little infant. He put the little baby back into the carrier and it started fussing immediately. Craig looked at the second page while cooing at the poor thing. It was a Wisconsin birth certificate and it said the baby’s name was Craig Walter Corrigan, mother Aimee Marie Corrigan, father Craig Wilson. The pages fell from Craig’s fingers as it began to hit him.

He was a father.

***************************

“Mom, I need you to come to the apartment right away. I don’t know what to do about this,” Craig said pacing the length of his living room. He stopped and looked out at Loring Park, just beginning to show signs of life after a long winter. There were a few buds on the trees and the grass had started turning green. Craig didn’t really see any of that right now. He was distraught and needed help, now.

“What is it?” his mother asked. “What’s so important?”

“You’ll see when you get here,” Craig said looking over at little Craig. At least he was sleeping now. Craig fed him a bottle that had been in the bundle of clothes, blankets and a diaper bag. He’d managed to change the little guy without too much hassle though it still stank like shit in the apartment.

“I’m a father,” Craig said. “A girl I hooked up with left a baby, well my baby on my fricking doorstep,” Craig whined. He was so out of his league here. He still had a semester of college yet and he worked a part time job for heaven’s sake. How could he take care of a kid?

His mother was silent for a few moments, driving Craig bat shit. Why didn’t she say something?

“I thought you were… well, you came out to your father and me,” she finally said.

“Yeah, well I had a little fling with a girl last year and now I’ve got a baby sleeping in my living room.”

“That’s something,” his mother said haltingly. “I’ll be over in half an hour. This isn’t exactly something I was expecting.”

“Me neither,” Craig said and looked over at little Craig with a wondering eye. What was he going to do?

Little Craig was stirring in the carrier. Craig went over to see if he was okay. The little baby opened his eyes and looked at him. He reached out to Craig and without even thinking, he picked up the boy. Little Craig giggled a little and cooed at him poking at his face. Craig talked to him softly as a smile crept onto his face. He really was a cute little baby. Not able to stop himself, Craig kissed the baby’s little button nose.

***********************

“He looks just like you did as a baby,” Craig’s mother said beaming at the child in her arms. “It’s like time stopped.”

Craig ran his fingers through his hair for like the tenth time in the hour since his mother’s arrival. “Shouldn’t we contact social services or something? I mean, she just abandoned him,” Craig said still trying to make sense of it all.

“We could, but since he’s your son, you’ve got as much right to custody as she does. This girl left him with you. Her note said you should do what you think is right,” Sandy said to her son while carefully brushing little Craig’s wispy hair to the side. “He’s such a button, just like you were.”

“He is really cute, isn’t he?” Craig said, looking down at the bundle in his mother’s arms. Little Craig’s eyes latched onto him and the baby smiled at him.

“So, what are you going to do? You made him so he’s your responsibility,” his mother said, bringing back a reality check to the young man.

“I’ve got school and I don’t have the money it takes to take care of a baby,” Craig whined again.

“I could watch him when you’re in class and we should call your father. He’s a son of a bitch, but he won’t turn his back on his grandchild.”

“I don’t know,” Craig said. He was afraid to tell his father knowing the kinds of things the man would assume. Craig was already waiting for the questions his mother was going to raise. He thought coming out to them as gay would forgo any of the usual issues bi’s had, like suppressing his urge to be with other men. His mother had asked if he liked women and wanted to have a family when they had that talk, and it seemed easier to just say he was gay.

“How did this happen?” Sandy asked, her eyebrows raised. Craig looked at his mother and blushed.

“The usual way I suppose. I mean, we used protection but the rubber broke and Aimee said she was on the pill,” Craig said haltingly.

“No. I understand the mechanics,” his mother said. “I meant, how did you end up with this young woman in bed?”

“It’s complicated,” Craig said. “Now, shouldn’t we call someone?”

“No. First answer my question,” Sandy said firmly.

Craig shifted uncomfortably and then looked at her with some measure of confidence.

“I’m bisexual, okay? We met at a coffeehouse and that night we went out clubbing. One thing led to another and I slept with her. I never would have imagined this happening.”

“Happens every day,” his mother said. “Now, you’re a father and you have to start thinking like one. This may be a difficult situation but you have to deal with it. This little button is counting on you.”

“Yeah, well this little button is something I didn’t plan on happening,” Craig said. But, inside he was already making plans. He could go to school, get a job, and with some help, he’d raise his son. It wouldn’t be easy but the idea of losing the little guy was becoming too painful to consider.

“Maybe I should just take care of him for a while. Aimee might change her mind and if I call social services, they may not let her get him back,” Craig said, the idea popping into his head. He realized an abandoned child might be grounds for making little Craig a cog in the giant system. That would definitely not be the best for his son.

His son.

The idea of taking care of the little button was becoming a little more part of his brain with each minute that ticked by. Craig took the baby from his mother. “Call dad and see if he can come over and talk.”

**********************

Craig was awestruck by how the women in the coffeehouse oohed and aahed over little Craig. Each of the regulars came over and asked about where he got the little bundle of joy. Craig had meant to just get a coffee to go and forego all the questions, but he found the women were all touched by the story. Several of them couldn’t understand Aimee’s actions but they were all moved that Craig was going to take care of the baby.

Leaving the baby in the arms of a neighbor he knew he could trust, he went to the counter to get his coffee. The short, spare barista handed him his usual with a big grin.

“So, you’re a daddy huh?” the barista asked. Craig noticed the man was looking at him differently, eyes shining with delight.

“Yeah, just found out this weekend. It was quite the shock,” Craig said turning to look at his button being passed to another young woman who was cooing at little Craig. “How much do I owe you?”

“This one’s on the house,” the barista said shaking his head. “Anyone who is willing to step up to the plate like you deserves it.”

“Thanks,” Craig said and paused. “Say, you aren’t looking for help are you?”

“Sure am,” the barista said. “By the way, my name’s Graham. I’ve noticed you before. You’re a nice looking guy.”

“Thanks. You think I could apply?”

“Sure, but I think you have a pretty good shot at it,” Graham winked at Craig. Craig was taken aback.

“Okay,” Craig said slowly. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything then,” Graham said grinning ear to ear. “Can I meet your little guy?”

“Sure,” Craig said and waved the smaller man over. Graham took little Craig in his arms and held him whispering softly to him. Little Craig was smiling and blowing little bubbles. Graham laughed and touched the tip of his little nose.

“He’s such a button, just like his dad,” Graham chuckled.

Craig smiled. He’d asked for a little guy, and now he thought he might have two of them.