When I left Kyle's house and started to walk back home...there were these mental echoes of Jason's stupid little tantrum ringing in my ears. The way he looked at me. The way he cursed at us. The way that he was so triggered by the fact that we were happy that he couldn't bear to hold it in anymore. And, as much as I hate to admit it...it made me smile. It really did.
There was just something soothing about knowing that my success with Rory bothered him sooooo much. It's hard to explain, but it just boosted my mood in ways than a friendly hug and a few compliments from him ever could. Is that mean of me to feel this way?
Just think about it, though...all this time, when he was on top of the world, screwing around with every hot delicious model boy that he could get his hands and mouth on...he never had a problem with me. Like, never at all. We werefriends, you know? And maybe that was easy for him when he thought he was so superior to me and my inexperienced approach to boys in general. But now? Now I'm growing, and I'm learning, and I'm actually finding fulfillment in a relationship with a boy that I would have jumped on even if hedidn'tturn out to be the most gorgeous boy on the planet...and it's driving him absolutely CRAZY! Like, he's really losing his shit over this. And I'm just starting to realize how little I care. I never threw a fit like this when it wasJason'sturn to go out there and get his rocks off with the sexiest boys on his dating feed. I'm just confused as to why he's so mad at me, now that it's my turn to be happy. Hell, he's even mad atKYLEover this! His idol. His mentor. I guess we were never supposed to elevate beyond his expectations without taking him with us. Or at least warning him first. Now he finds himself having to catch up to the rest of the group, and he hates it. He really does.
But, like I said...I can barely find the energy to care. Maybe now he knows what it feels like to be the third wheel for a change. And the more he hates me for being happy...the happier I get. It lets me know that I'm doing something right, you know? I'm actually going for a loving relationship full of romance, and rainbows, and giggles, and deep conversations on the lake at sunset. How many people get to say that? How many actually get the opportunity to truly fall in love with a total package like Rory?
Not many. Believe me. And I'm thankful for every breath that I get to take, and every star that I get to look up and wish upon, that I've been given the chance to live as one of the lucky ones. I'm in love. SO in love! And I'll take one true love over one hundred fake infatuated afternoons of horny releaseanyday.
Myorgasms last for longer than fifteen seconds. They're with me all day long, whether we're together or apart. I prefer my way better than his.
When I walked into my house and went to my bedroom, I just sort of sighed to myself for a moment. I don't know why, but I was in a super chill mood, and feeling good about...well, everything...so I picked up my phone and decided to give Rory a call. I don't know, I just wanted to say hello, I guess. Or maybe I was missing the sound of his voice. His voice is so cute to me...especially when he smiles. I didn't even know that it was possible to 'hear' a smile over the phone...but it's definitely possible. Hell...I can almost feel his blush too. There's like...this subtle way that Rory's voice gets a bit bashful, and it quiets itself down until it's almost a whisper when he's blushing. And it sort of squeaks a little bit when he's nervous. Which is, like, the cutest thingever! And he has these little pauses in his speech whenever he's trying to be witty and funny...which usually doesn't take much effort at all in his case...but it's like a few microseconds that he uses to gather his words and phrase everything just right for maximum effect. And it always works. Everything he says is perfect. Hehehe...oh GOD! How does anybody live their lives without this nitro shot of adrenaline running through their veins twenty four hours a day???
I doubt I'd ever have a way to find my way back to 'normal' after feeling this way for another boy. I can't even imagine it!
Hearing his phone ring always made me tense up slightly. I don't know why...it just did.
"Hello?" He said. It sounded like he was going up a flight of steps at the moment. Probably to his room.
"Hey, Rory..." I grinned, already squirming from knowing that we were all 'connected' again, even if it was just over the phone.
"Weird...I was just thinking about you." He said. "I was gonna call, but then I talked myself out of it."
"What? Hehehe, why?"
"Because!" He giggled. "I'm trying not to come off like some sort of a creepily obsessed stalker or something. I mean...you don't need me bothering you all the time."
"Wouldn't bother me at all." I said. And there it was...that little pause, and a blush, and then a smile. All three together at once.
"Are you sure about that, Kevin? I can be quite annoying when I want to be. And...sometimes when Idon'twant to be, hehehe!"
"Fine by me." I said. "As long as you keep talking...I think I'll be ok. It sorta...makes me feel good."
Shyly, Rory whined, "...Kevin...hehehe!"
"What? What did I say?" I smiled.
"You're giving me a bad case of the wiggles. Stop it." He snickered.
"Sorry..." I said, nearly floating on air by this point. Then I just said, "I really do love you. You know that, right?"
"Yeah. I love you too." He whispered. "We need to get together some time soon. Have some lunch. Or maybe some dinner? I've got some extra cash if you want to go somewhere nice or something. So, I'll pay."
"You don't have to pay. I've got a little bit of money around here. I can scrounge some up for a few sandwiches or donuts or something, I'm sure."
"No, it's totally ok. I've got extra this time around. I want us to spend some more time together. It'll be great to see you again. Then Rory corrected himself by adding, "In a non-stalkerish way, I mean! Promise!"
"Hehehe! Idon'tthink you're being stalkerish! Geez!" I said. "Iamwondering where your big windfall of cash came from all of a sudden, though. You didn't turn into a bank robber or anything, did you?"
Rory giggled in the cutest way, and he said, "Nah...it's um..." He stopped himself at first, and then timidly admitted, "...It's my birthday. So...you know..."
I gasped out loud. "What the...?!?!? It's your friggin' BIRTHDAY???"
He laughed. "Yeah...kinda. So I got some cards in the mail, and some of them had cash in them, so I was thinking..."
"NO!!!" I demanded. "Hahaha! You don't just get to tell me something like that and brush it off your shoulder like it's no big deal! Dude! Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday???"
"Well, I mean, it's not like...today! It's tomorrow, technically. But my family always tries to make sure that I get my birthday cards on time. So I get them a little bit early. It's no biggie. I didn't expect you to know or anything."
"Well, I know now! We've gotta celebrate!"
Rory giggled, "Well, that's kind of what I was asking you a minute ago. Let's go out somewhere. Get something to eat. Maybe see a movie or something, if you want."
I was like, "Dude! Are you kidding me right now? You're not paying for anything on your birthday! Omigod, I wish I had known! I would have gotten you something."
"You've already given me everything that I could ever hope for, Kevin. Just by being my boyfriend. Honestly, the birthday thing isn't even important right now. I just want to be with you. If you say yes...I'll count that as the birthday present ever. K?"
Faking a little pout by sticking out my bottom lip and lowering my voice, I said, "You,totally, should have told me that it was your birthday ahead of time. I feel cheated now. Hehehe!"
"Awwww...you can get me something next year. I'll give you more warning then...if you're still around, that is." He said.
"Is this you still worrying about being annoying?"
"I dunno...maybe. Heh..."
Ugh! Rory was so CUTE!!!
"We're going to go out somewhere this weekend and I'm getting you a slice of birthday cake, and I'm going to put you through the embarrassment of having the waitstaff come to our table and sing happy birthday to you right before you blow out your candle! And it's going to be sweet and awesome and you're gonna like it, because I swear that I'm gonna punch you right in the nose in front of everybody if you evenpretendto not be having a good time! You hear me?" I was grinning when I said it, but my wheels were already spinning, and I really wanted to take him somewhere special for his B-day. He is, like, the prize jewel in my life. The least I could do is go out and enjoy the day of his angelic birth into this world with the rest of us lowly humans. Right?
"M'kay!" He smiled. "As long as I get to be close enough to see you, I guess." And there it was again...that teasing pause of his while he tried to keep from blushing and put his words together. "Hold your hand too. Maybe exchange a few kisses?"
"Definitely! LOTS of kisses!" I told him, now shifting and wiggling in my seat myself.
"Cool." He sighed. "Kisses from you are...are really cool." He began to squirm with joy on his end, and then he burst out with, "Omigod...how is it possible that you're my boyfriend right now? I'm not even sure how to handle this! Hehehe!"
"Rory...you have no idea. Like, not even a clue." i replied.
"All of those times online when I had people actually get a look at me and had them freak out and start acting weird...I don't think I ever really understood what was going on in their heads until this very moment." He said. "I'm sorry, just...you're perfect, Kevin! You'reSOperfect! And I'm having a bit of trouble, catching my breath, right now. Hehehe, does that make me sound all freaky and strange?"
Giggling, I said, "It actually makes you sound a lot likeme, if I had to be honest. But I'm glad it makes you happy." I might have been mistaken, but I could have sworn that I heard Rory sniffle on his end. It kind of threw me for a loop at first, because it was so unexpected. But once I realized how unfathomablyhappyRory was at that moment...I think it just got to me, warming my heart to the point where I began to get a little choked up myself. "Are you still there? Hehehe!"
With a shaky voice, he said, "Uh huh...I'm here." Then he had to collect himself for a moment before telling me, "I probably sound so silly right now..."
"No. Not at all. Ilikeyou this way." I said.
"It's just...it's really cool to have somebody just listen to me for a change. Not just stare at me like an animal at the zoo. It probably sounds so stupid, having me whine about being...you know..."
"...Fucking gorgeous as HELL???"
Rory has the cutest laugh. "Hahahaha! I told you to STOP that! And I am not! I'm just...I'm glad that I got to know more about you as a person before...you know? All the rest of it. I was really worried that you wouldn't want to talk to me like you did before once we met. I was hoping not to scare you off."
"You certainly have a funny way of trying to frightening people, if that was your plan." I said. "But, for what it's worth...I'm glad that I got to know you too. There's more to you than what people see on the surface. Not paying attention to that would have been a significant loss in my life. Believe me."
With a sigh, Rory said, "I really didn't want to lie to you, once I figured out that you weren't Kyle that I was talking to. I guess I spent so much time hiding online that being myself became more of a liability than a virtue. It can be hard sometimes...trying to keep my looks a secret. I just wanted to be able to have an in depth conversation with a few people who weren't obsessed with thoughts of jumping my bones every fifteen seconds. I know that a lot of people might think that it's flattering and that I should be thankful to be so privileged that I'd catch the eye of random strangers...but it can be exhausting. I'm just...I'm not that guy, you know? I end up turning down ninety nine guys out of one hundred. I want to havefun. I want to share my dreams with somebody. Someone sweet, and caring, and romantic. I just..." He paused to catch his breath while I listened on in silence. "...I was beginning to think that I had gotten my hopes up, searching for something that I'd never have. Maybe even something that didn't exist. I was starting to think it was all just 'Rom-Com' movie bullshit. You know?"
"And then what happened?" I asked, worried that he was bringing himself down much lower than he deserved.
He said, "Thenyouhappened, Kevin. That's what?" It seriously made me so weak in the middle that I had to lay back on my bed and try to hold myself together while I listened to him talk so more. His voice has this really pacifying quality to it that comforts me every time I hear it. Something about his speaking voice just feels like 'home' to me. "You kinda restored my faith in the idea that I could be something more than a pretty face to somebody else. You just...UGH...you're one of the first boys that ever made me feel like a realperson, and not just a cardboard cutout of some model that they drool over in some magazine or an online porn site. It was refreshing, you know."
My soft laughter was more from discomfort than flattery. Or...maybe it was the flattery that wascausingthe discomfort. It was hard to tell. I njust wanted to protect my boyfriend from feeling like he didn't matter. Or that anyone would ever take him for granted, or see him as anything less than the majestic presentation of peace and love on Earth that he is. I mean...seriously...it's like Rory was sent here to the world to remind us of what true beauty really was. And what potential lies behind it...if only we take the time to take a peek at it.
"I'm sorry. I'm babbling, aren't I?" Rory said. It still amazes me how a boy so stunning could possibly be so uncomfortable in his own skin sometimes.
"No. No way. I'm listening." I said. "I just want to listen to you talk for a while. It makes me feel good."
"Hehehe, cool..." He sighed. And then, after a pause that was a little bit longer than usual, he said, "Kevin? Would it be weird if I asked you a personal question?"
I wasn't really sure what he meant by that, but I didn't see anything wrong with it. "I doubt it. Go for it." I replied.
Another long pause.
"I know that you, like...'think' about me. And I think about you too...like...alot. Actually...probably more than I should. Hehehe, I'm sure it's not entirely healthy." He joked, but then went on with, "But the more I think about you, the more I want to...you know...maybe commit to...'other' stuff that...well...I was thinking that..." He seemed to be frustrated, trying to come up with the right words to say what he wanted to say, but I didn't push him. I had no idea what he was talking about at that moment, but I humored him just the same. "...Listen, we've been dating for a little while, right? I mean....we'redating, right? Do I have that wrong?"
I wasn't sure if that was a rhetorical question or not. So there was a brief silence before I said, "Oh! Yeah! Definitely. Dating. I think of you as my boyf! Or, errr...I mean, 'boyfriend'." I told him. "I mean...that's ok, right?"
"Yeah! Totally!" He answered, making me sigh with relief. "I think of you as my boyfriend too. And we've had so much fun spending time together. And I don't want you to think that I'm expecting anything super 'naughty' from you or anything...but..." He stopped himself again. I was anxiously waiting to see where he was going with this, and my impatience was causing me to wiggle and shift with a shortness of breath before he finally said, "...I really feel comfortable with you. You know?"
Should I say something? Or should I wait? Hmmmm...he's not saying anything. Maybe I should talk now. What do I say to that? Ummm, ok, I got it...
"I feel comfortable with you too, Rory." Was that good? Did it sound cool, or whatever? Wait...I've got some more. "You're the dreamiest boy that I've ever known. I mean that. It, like...actuallyhurtsto love you as much as I do. But I'm thinking that's a good thing."
He grinned. But then got a bit more bashful again as he said, "If...well, I mean...I don't want to sound weird. I'm sorry. I feel so awkward right now."
"No, it's ok. Hehehe, I feel it too. But we can be awkward together for a while. It's kinda fun, if you ask me." I said.
"I was just thinking that...if we were able to find some time to be alone for a while, and we decided to...'do stuff'...I mean, we could just start kind ofslow, right? Not that we're never gonna...like...shit, I'm saying this all wrong, aren't I?"
I think I had finally caught on to what he was talking about. And the thrill of him evensuggestingthe beginnings of a sexual encounter between us was giving me a boner the size of the Eiffel Tower right now! Oh God! Oh GOD!!!! Is he...is he asking me...?