The Void In My Heart - 10. REVELATIONS

As he entered his room, he got a call from Meg. At first he decided not to pick it up but he didn't want to be rude to his close friend. He picked up the call.

"Hey Joey, how was the outing?," the girl was excited to know about the evening.

"It was fine." Joey gave a plain reply to which Meg asked surprisingly "just fine? I was expecting a better answer. Don't tell me you had an argument with him again."

"No, everything is fine. It's just that I am tired. If you don't mind, can we talk tomorrow?," the boy was upset and Meg understood.

"Won't you come for dinner?," she asked.

"Sorry, I will have it late tonight. You go ahead," he replied.

After disconnecting the call, Joey went to his bed and started thinking about the evening. He couldn't understand why he was feeling low, even though the doctor had behaved with him so well. On the other hand, Meg decided to ask the doctor if everything went fine at the café. She proceeded towards the dining hall, where she sat opposite to the doctor. At first, she thought of talking to him then and there but she realized that it would be better to talk to him in person.

She met the doctor after the dinner and asked "so, how was your evening doctor?"

"It was very good. I am glad I could take Joey out and he felt better. We had some good conversations and I came to know that he likes cold coffee as well", the doctor happily described the outing which put Meg in a dilemma.

She decided not to probe further and thought of talking to Joey in the morning. "You waiting for someone?," she asked the doctor who had stopped walking and stood outside the doors of the hall.

"Yeah, Joey must be coming in a few moments. I didn't see him inside." the doctor replied.

"Well, he didn't come for dinner. He said he will be having it later than the normal time," Meg told Felix.

"Ah I see, is he okay?," the doctor asked out of concern.

"Yeah, he is fine. Nothing to worry about. Good night doctor," she wished and left for the dorm. She kept thinking why Joey and Felix had given different insights about the evening. On the other hand, Joey couldn't sleep properly. He was caught in a tussle of thoughts which were disturbing him.

"Good morning Joey," a familiar voice woke him up. He opened his eyes to find that it was Felix..

"Damn! What time is it?," he jumped up on the bed, realizing that the doctor came at 9 o' clock everyday.

"Relax. You must have slept late at night. Is everything okay with you buddy?" the doctor asked in his usual friendly tone.

"Yes, I am fine. Thanks for waking me up," Joey couldn't feel at ease with the doctor's blue eyes looking at him. He had never noticed the doctor like he was doing at that moment. Black hair, combed neatly, baby blue eyes which could make any woman swoon and a chiseled jaw line which was marked with a neat scruff. He must have been lost in admiring the handsome facial features of the doctor when Felix said "hey, are you here with me?"

Joey was about to speak when a doctor called Felix as he gently tussled Joey's hair and said "get ready buddy." The boy was mesmerized by the doctor's smile. All these feelings he was experiencing were new to him. He had never looked at Felix the way he was looking at him these days. He couldn't describe his feelings clearly but he knew that he was growing fond of the doctor.

He got ready and called up Meg to meet him at their meeting point. Meg was already waiting for him at the bench when he arrived. "Hey, what happened to you last night? You didn't come for dinner and sounded like a lost soul over the phone call," Meg was concerned about Joey.

"I, myself, don't know what is happening to me. It's pretty complicated," the boy was in a state of dilemma and Meg was growing restless since she had not seen him behaving so weird.

She asked him to relax and share whatever he was feeling. He took a deep breath and looked on the floor as he confessed "I think I have started liking Felix". His face was red as he was apprehensive as to how Meg will react.

Contrary to what he had thought, she chuckled. "Is that troubling you? Everyone likes him. He has that attractive persona, which makes everyone adore him", she said.

"No, no. You did not understand. I mean I like him, in the sense I have started developing feelings for him and these feelings are enigmatic for me", he said in a flash of a moment.

Meg was shocked for some time, and then she cleared her throat and said, "Wow! That is something new. Can you elaborate as to what made you think that you have started developing feelings for him?"

Joey replied "well, it all started with the café outing. I was so happy when he invited me to the café. I like the way he talked to me over there, but the moment he told that bringing teens to the café was a part of therapy, I got upset. I know I shouldn't have but I was not happy to know that a meeting which I was thinking of as an exclusive one was actually a routine for him. That's the reason I didn't come for dinner, because he would have been there and I wouldn't have talked to him comfortably. I know that I shouldn't have felt bad but why I wanted to be treated so special, that is far-fetched comprehension for me even now."

The boy was feeling as if a heavy burden on his heart was lifted as he told Meg about what he was going through. He paused for a while letting the girl intake what he was telling, then said “and it doesn't stop here. This morning he came in my room, and woke me up. I was so glad to see him but his stare made me uncomfortable.”

Meg kept listening as Joey told whatever he was going through and she found it interesting as the boy didn't seem to be stopping any sooner. Joey looked at Meg as if asking her permission to go on and she, being his best friend and a good listener, smiled.

"His eyes, they seemed like you could never get tired of looking at them. That smile on his face which could light up the whole town and make even a stranger feel at ease. I felt like I was in a different world altogether when our eyes met and he smiled at me. I had never experienced such feelings. I hope that it's normal," Joey smiled to himself.

There were few moments of silence and then Meg spoke "Whoa! That was a long speech lover boy. I don't know what to say. I am happy, rather I am euphoric. It's incredible that you are the same boy whom I had met the first day. I never knew you were so romantic. 'Smile lighting up the whole town!!', Meg burst into laughter. "You are absolutely normal Joey. I was so worried when I came to your room but you have given me immense happiness."

She hugged Joey and said "you are in love with him. I am so happy for you." Meg was ecstatic as she thought that this big change in his life would set things right and he would be able to lead a normal life.

"But this can't be," Joey had a perplexed look on his face. "Just because I liked the way he was looking at me, doesn't imply I love him. I just said I like him. You are making up stories. "

Joey began to look here and there as Meg spoke "Huh! I am not good at making stories. Look at you. Your facial expressions are belying your words. Are you reassuring yourself that you have no feelings for him? What is stopping you from accepting the truth?"

"Meg, it isn't what you are thinking. He has a candid way of talking with everyone. Taking me to café was part of normal treatment. I have suffered the pain of losing my closest friends. I don't have the strength to get close to someone and endure the same pain. I think it's just a mere attraction and I will get over these feelings in few days," it seemed like Joey was assuring himself that he still had control over things.

Meg sighed and said "I don't know what you are going to decide, but I do know that he is a very good man. Perhaps you should try to learn what he thinks about you. He does talk about you most of the time. Sometimes, our apprehensions make us lose out on some of the best things and later we can only lament about our diffidence when we could have taken a firm decision. Love is beautiful and I hope that you are able to clear all confusions in your mind. Take your time and give this thing a thought. Have a good day Joey."

"Thanks Meg. I knew that talking with you will lighten the burden on my head and it did. Have a great day", Joey said.