The Void In My Heart - 7. A CHANGE OF HEART

Later that day, Felix passed by Joey's room. His steps advanced to the room but then he stopped himself. He knew that other doctors might not be able to take care of the boy as well as he could.

He dialed Adam's number. "Hey buddy, how are you?” the doctor asked.

"I am ok", Adam replied in a flat tone.

"Is everything alright man?", Felix asked his friend who had never sounded so cold.

"Funny, I should be asking this question to you. How could you shout at Joey when you know that he is going through a tough phase. I thought he would be having no problems there as you will take care of him, but what I heard from him disappointed me a lot", as Adam spoke, Felix came to know that the teen had reported that matter to his brother.

"I don't think that justifying myself would make you believe me. It's better you tell me what do you want for him?", the doctor was deeply hurt as his friend didn't even bother to ask what was the reason of the spat.

"See Felix, I don't have any grudges against you. Whatever happened was not good for my brother. It would be better"...Adam took a brief pause and said "it would be better if Dr.Reeves appoints someone else to help Joey."

Felix was hurt even more. With a choked throat, he managed to say, "it is ok buddy. I know you want the best for him. I will talk to Dr.Reeves", he knew he would not be able to control his emotions if he spoke further, so he disconnected the call.

Holding back tears, Felix went to the head office and met the senior doctor. "I have something important to talk to you Sir", the young doctor's face was devoid of the evergreen smile which won many hearts.The senior doctor had never seen him in such a terrible state. "What is it Felix?” he asked.

"Sir, I thought about today's incident and I came to the conclusion that you should assign some other doctor for Joey. I need one more favor from you. I need a break of 2 weeks. I want to go to my hometown, cherish some old memories and meet my friends", Felix was hurt by the day's happenings and knew he would feel better by going out of the city for some days.

"Is this your final decision son?", Reeves asked him and the young doctor nodded. "I know it's been a tough day for you. Take care of yourself and hope you get better when you come back. I want to see that smile back on your face", the senior doctor approved Felix's suggestion and wished him a happy vacation.

Felix left the office and headed back to his home. Meg had overheard the conversation between Felix and Dr.Reeves as she had seen the doctor speaking to someone on phone, so she had followed him. She presumed that someone from Joey's family must have called the doctor. She was enraged at the selfish and cold behavior of Joey. She respected the young doctor a lot and knew she had to make the boy realize what he had done.

Later in the night, Joey had a long conversation with his brother. He felt relieved that Adam understood him and had asked Felix not to bother him. He felt that he was successful in keeping his vow and felt good about it. The doctor was trying to be friends with him and he did not want any friends in his life. He didn't even think for a moment what repercussions his stupidity had. Not only the doctor was deeply hurt but Joey's exaggerated reaction to the incident had also soured the friendship between his brother and Felix. He slept well that night as he felt he had allayed the doctor away and no one will be interfering in his life.

As the sun shone bright, he got up and got ready for a new day. It was like any other morning, except that he didn't hear Felix's voice. He came out of his room and went downstairs to take a leisure stroll. No sooner had he come out of the dorm when he saw Meg walking towards him. He wondered why she was coming to talk to him, when he had talked rudely to her 2 days back. Nevertheless, he waited for her.

"You seem to be really happy, aren't you?” she said in a sarcastic way.

"Well yes, you got any problem with that?” the boy spoke in a harsh tone.

"You know no one has problems with you, in fact you are the sole cause of your problems. Point to any one person here and tell me who hasn't faced problems in life. You are so self-centric that you don't realize what impact your words can have on others", Meg was furious at the boy.

"Listen, I don't care about others. Anyways, no one stays forever in one's life. So, what is the point of making friends when one day they have to leave?” Joey was hell bent on staying alone.

"Enough of your cribbing about life. You are fortunate you have a family, no abnormalities, and a home. Most of the teens you see here are orphans. Don't they make friends? Don't they talk to others? They do, and enjoy the life as it is. You have to start afresh, no matter what happens", Meg was trying to make the boy face the reality instead of holding onto his stupid vow.

"Let me guess, this is all about that favorite doctor of yours, right? You saw how he humiliated me in front of everyone", the boy fretted.

"You don't even know that person. He has a heart of gold. Tell me one thing honestly. Didn't you say something which enraged him? Was his action unprovoked?” Meg was not ready to spare the boy.

"Whatever I said, it was right. People who haven't lost someone got no right to advise others about handling the situation", Joey put forth his strong opinion.

"How do you know if he hasn't lost anyone? Just because he has smile on his face and a good job, doesn't mean that he is not having any problems. It's just that he has accepted reality and is trying to live a normal life again", Meg told Joey who was still indifferent to whatever she was saying and tried to walk away.

Meg poked his left foot with one of the crutches, "don't you leave before you hear the truth. You say he doesn't know what it is like to lose someone. You know what it is like to lose one's Dad and elder brother at a minor age of 10? You know how it feels when one confronts the reality that one's Mom is suffering from a terminal illness and her days are numbered? Tell me, can you be alright in such tough situations? Well, Dr.Felix is an example in front of you. "

Joey stood in rapt silence as Meg told him about the young doctor's life. "Agreed, losing friends is as painful as losing a family member but what is more painful is; you know someone close is about to die and you can do nothing about it. His smile is just a camouflage to his deep scars. It's not just a job for him. It's a way to forget about his worries and be happy with the friends he has got here",Meg revealed more facts about Felix's life as the boy was shocked to hear the truth and came to realize why the doctor had got so furious at that time.

"You not only hurt him by your words but your silly actions made it even worse. I couldn't hear the whole conversation between one of your family members and him, but the doctor must have got a cold response from whoever was on the call. I saw his face, seemed like he was not the doctor I had always known", Meg was almost in tears as she felt bad for the doctor.

Joey was speechless. He felt as if he had committed a cold blooded crime. He felt so ashamed of himself and couldn't face Meg who was now sobbing. Hesitating at first, he put a hand on her shoulder, and said "I wasn't aware that he was hiding so much pain behind his friendly demeanor. Let's sit on a bench". Composing herself, Meg sat on a nearby bench. The boy sat beside her.

There was an air of animosity as none of them spoke for a while. "How do you know so much about him?” the boy broke the ice. Meg wiped her tears, "I have an elder sister, Catherine. She is a good friend of the doctor. They used to be neighbors 6 years ago. He has always been a gentleman and treats people well. I used to stay with my parents back then. I came to know about the tragic incidents in his life through my sister. He was just 10 when his Dad and brother were killed in a car accident. When he turned 21, his mother was diagnosed with a terminal disease".

Joey felt bad and wished those words never came out of his mouth. "How did you end up here?” he asked the girl.

"I met with an accident 2 years back. My legs were brutally hurt and doctor brought me here after I faced discrimination in my hometown. I was shocked when some of my friends also allayed me. I , too, stopped speaking to people after what happened with me. My sister contacted Dr. Felix and he suggested that I should come here. His pain is a lot more than us Joey. We tend to be selfish, but when one opens eyes and looks around, we find that almost everyone is suffering. Some have learnt to hide it, and some cannot handle it. I hope you would realize that he was just trying to help you", Meg looked at the boy who was experiencing a sea of emotions in his heart.

"I just wanted to fulfill the vow I had taken when I lost my best buddies. They were my world and their death left a void in my life, and I didn't want anyone to try to fill that void. I have pushed many people when they tried to be friendly with me. Old friends, relatives and now the doctor. I know that people have got hurt because of my behavior", the boy was having a change of heart and Meg could see the change in him.

"Joey, someone close to us can never be irreplaceable but new friendships can help lessen the pain of separation from our beloved ones. It would be tough for you , but with constant efforts and help from others can make you enjoy the life once again", the girl used a more friendlier tone this time.

"I am thankful to you Meg, for telling me about Dr.Felix. I will see you later. I need to speak to the doctor right away", Joey was feeling guilty for his cold behavior. As the boy was about to get up, Meg stopped him and said "he won't be here for the next two weeks. I overheard the conversation between him and Dr.Reeves. He sounded dejected and left for his hometown. Yesterday's incident must have left a deep impact on him. I just pray that he recovers from it".

The boy felt terrible and said "it's all my fault. Why me! Adam had met his old friend after a long time and because of my immature behavior, their friendship got soured. I have hurt him badly".

"Everything happens for a reason Joey. Perhaps, this incident was bound to happen in order to revive the good values in you which had been subdued by the tragedy in your life.

As of now, just hope that Dr.Felix would be better when he comes back", Meg got up , smiled at Joey and went towards the girls' dormitory.

Joey kept sitting on the bench and thought about the incident which had jeopardized many things. He knew that he had to first set things right between the doctor and his brother.

He got up and went to his room. He called up Adam, walking in fast steps across the room. This had been his habit. Whenever he had to confess something to someone, he walked hastily here and there. Adam picked up the call and said "hey bro, how are you doing? Is everything fine now?"

Joey remained silent for a while and then said "nothing is fine bro. I messed up. I shouldn't have done it. I am not a good person. In fit of anger, I didn't realize that someone might get hurt".

Confused by what his brother was saying, Adam asked "what has gone wrong Joey? What are you talking about?"

"I had told you only half truth about the incident with Dr.Felix. I told you that he yelled at me but didn't tell you the reason. I should have known that this might have a negative impact on your friendship and it did", Joey told his brother everything.

"Damn! I didn't even ask him about the matter and straight away blamed him for the incident. I should have asked him about the whole truth. Instead, I asked him to keep away from you. How foolish of me to have doubted his friendship. I will talk to him", Adam repented his cold behavior over the phone.

"No, let me speak to him first. It's all because of me that things have gone haywire. I will talk to him once he is back. I don't have the courage to call him. It will be better to talk with him one on one", the boy could feel the change in him as he had not been concerned for someone from a long time.