Admire Me - 8. Chapter 8 Hero

All week before we entered the school we shared a kiss. It was nothing like the first kiss, but somewhere under the line. We weren't in love or anything. This was more of an admiring thing.

Mitch opened up to me more. He told me after the few weeks of being around me. He saw me as someone to be with. His friends had no clue what was happening between us.

One day at lunch he almost forgot and wrapped his arm around my waist, in front of them! I playfully smacked his arm away to give him the reminder `we are in public!'

He shared his rap songs with me that had meaning to them, while I shared my pop songs with him. I don't know if he liked it too much. He always tells me `I'm the whitest, black guy he has ever met.' it was a bit ironic coming from him. So I told him, `he was the blackest, white guy I have ever met.'

This whole Mitch experience was bringing the light I needed in my life. I was in bliss so bad, I forgot about everybody around me, except him of course.

Friday, I went to the restroom. It was deserted, so I had time to handle my business and go. I found a stall, took care of things. Then I headed to the sink to wash my hands. I examined myself in the mirror. When I saw Jade walk in!

I was on my way out! I didn't want to be near him. Why did he have to come in here at this particular time? I stopped what I was doing and began walking straight for the exit.

When he stepped in front of me blocking my way. Making me notice him, making me look at him. It was very uneasy. I want to push him, or tell him to `move out of the way!' but I can't. I don't want to touch Jade period!

Jade impulsively put both of his hands on my shoulders. He sent a vibe through me. That felt like...I can't explain...just weird. My body must have been exposed to Mitch so much, that every time somebody else touched...No way, Impossible! This was a new vibe. I honestly believe my body misses Jade. I think my body remembered his touch.

My body misses him, but my mind...doesn't? this is a new scenario.

"Braylon, can we stop this?" he pleaded, still holding my shoulders. I didn't move from his grasp. My body wasn't responding to my mind’s orders! I was stuck! I couldn't move!

I avoided eye contact, and kept ignoring his pleas. It was the last resort. I couldn't move from him.

"Braylon...Bray!" he shook me lightly. "Can we be friends again?" he continued in a sadden tone. "I have nobody to talk to. The clique is breaking up. Keylan is still with Kimmie. Ryan is dating that nappy haired Sabre, and Korbyn doesn't say anything period." Jade rambled with a look of sorrow in his eyes. He tried desperately to get words out of me.

I might not have full control of my body, but I can control my mouth. I won't talk to him! Especially since Mitch had been planting kisses on me, telling me how much he admired me.

"I miss you Braylon..." he continued, sounding like he was going to cry any minute. "You know what, I can't force you to be my friend, but if you need me. I will always be here." Jade informed me, releasing his touch.

I had my movement back, and I walked towards the exit getting as far away from him. Before I was completely out of ear shot he said "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. My mom saved up enough to buy me a car." his voice bounced off the restroom walls.

The rest of my Friday, was terrific. Mitch winked at me in between class. I caught him lifting up his shirt at me. He wanted me to see his sexy red underwear. He was sagging and that was such a tease. He would text me as soon as I sat down in class. I like the feeling he gave me. Just knowing someone is there means the most. I think I found Mr. right now!

I went home for the day without any homework. Jason had his usual friends over, surprisingly not Mitch. He was tied up late at night on the phone with me. We used our time to reach into each others worlds deeper.

We discussed our childhoods, how different we were, likes, dislikes. He said, `he didn't have a problem with preps or plastics.' he just never thought he would be with one. I told him the same in reverse.

It was strange the way our relationship was working out. I laughed because he told me `he was attracted to my feminine actions.' It appalled me, I never thought I would hear that. Most guys despise fems. It doesn't make much sense to me. We are all guys at the end of everyday.

I felt like I had got accepted into Harvard… Or something better!

His cell phone's battery would die during our conversation, but he would rush to the charger to make sure he didn't hang up in my face. He thought it was rude to do that to someone you cared for, and I thought He was so amazing for his respect for me!

One time his phone did lose service, he called me back in a millisecond, apologizing for hanging up. It wasn't his fault, but I guess he doesn't want to get on bad terms, no matter what.

I noticed he kept saying, "He didn't want me to be mad at him for any reason." he wanted this relationship with me. He also said, `if we were to get serious he wanted us to get an apartment together, and go to college together.'

I'm happy he isn't rushing things. It's only been a few weeks since our kiss. We are at the stage of trying to figure out what we are? And what would become of us?

It scared me how everything was happening. It's real...all of this is real!

Everything that has been happening is real! I haven't woke up, wishing I was still dreaming! My heart fluttered. I was feeling something deep in my chest. I can’t explain. Dang, I'm so new at these feelings.

His voice was so deep, and hearing his voice chuckle. Brought more light to my darkness.

"Mitch?...Mitch?..." oh my goodness! I knew he was sleepy. He kept promising me he wasn't, but I knew he was tired. He was fighting sleep for time with me. It was so cute!

"Goodnight, Mitch!" I said knowing he didn't hear a word I said. I hung up and laid in my bed. I better get some sleep, I will be getting up soon...

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I rode in his Jaguar this morning, feeling free. I had found happiness in my hard times. People may find it hard to believe, but if they were me, they would be able to feel the static from his lips whenever he kisses me. It was--

"Braylon, can you answer that for us?" the teacher asked. Making my day dream dissipate.

I glanced at the board to see: WHAT IS THE MEDICAL TERM FOR A RED BLOOD

CELL?

I sat for a quiet second for the answer to jump from the wall. I could hear faint whispers and snickers from the other students. While I was struggling for the right answer.

"Erythrocytes?" I answered, hoping to bash the whispering nut cases.

"Correct!" the teacher said surprised. Whew, what a relief. Now I can go back to- "And do you know the medical term for a white blood cell?" she probed. Trying to get me to look stupid. Would she please leave me alone...

"Leukocytes?"

"Correct. for a minute there, I thought you were staring into space." she said, realizing she had made a mistake in her attempt. "Anyway class...these cells help the body..." she carried on.

I went back to my daydream. She did all of that and made herself look like the student. As for the whisperers, I'm sure they wanted to see me get it wrong, too bad.

Mitch was the first guy I kissed! Wow, I wonder if he will be the first to take my virginity? I thought about our long phone conversation. I wonder why, he wanted to get an apartment with me? If we are both committed we can still live away from one another, and survive. I don't know, but I don't think I'm ready for that. It will take time.

Jason would kill both of us if he knew the truth, but who says he has to know? I have tried to come up with a plan to get Mitch in my room.(sanctuary) where we could have alone time. Not sex necessarily, but the beauty of comfort between male and male.

His indigo eyes always watched over me. He told me `I could play with his almond brown hair any time I felt I needed to.' I have wanted to, since the first time we kissed.

"Engulfing of other cells is what, Braylon?" the teacher charged again. What is wrong with her? She keeps ripping all of my day dreams into pieces. She is still trying to embarrass me.

Not again! She has to leave me alone! "Phagocytosis!" I fired, back. I wish those words could have put a dent in her head. She shouldn't test an alpha like that!

"Correct, thank you for paying attention." she lied. She was just saying that, to make everyone not look at her stupid for testing my intelligence.

My teacher went over the rest of the chapter with us. I listen to her boring voice. Anxiously waiting for the next time I saw Mitch.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I sat at my regular spot at the urban table. Mitch smiled widely, taking his place beside me. We talked in code and used our eyes to tell one another the things we couldn't speak out loud.

Our code talking, had hit a spark! I was into this guy! I felt my emotions stepping one level higher for him. Not quite love yet, but a few more steps it will be.

C.J.'s face looked so perplexed. He tried to keep up with our talk. It was no use he couldn't see the chemistry between us, feel it, neither hear it.

"Mitch," C.J. warned tapping him, looking behind us at something. "Here comes Shunda, man!" he said. I turned my head thinking to myself `who in the world is Shunda?’

I saw this ghetto girl with a huge stomach approaching the table. She had almost five other ghetto girls at her side. Her hair was weaved long, andher shorts were one centimeter from violating dress code.

"Mitch, don't act like you don't hear me boy...Mitch!" Shunda yelled, moving her hair from her face. "Our daughter is going to need diapers in a month or so!" Mitch's face shaded into a hot red. The guys at the table found the outburst hilarious, but I didn't!

"Yeah, Mitch you better buy those diapers." his friends teased.

Shunda added, "Don't forget you have fatherly duties. Even though we aren't together." shaking her long nails popping her neck.

OH NO! Here comes that feeling again. A line of heat went up my spine spreading out through me. I had to contain my composure, if I don't, there is a possibility I could give myself away. I can't act out on my feelings. Somebody will know we have something going on.

I decided to get away from this creep. So I text him.*(Braylon: Don't talk to me anymore!)* I dumped my tray leaving lunch early.

I can't believe this trashy punk, tried to charm me, and the whole time he already had a girlfriend. No, better yet, a family!

My emotions were fiery and fumbling all around. I didn't know what to feel. I thought my problems had came to a stop when I met him. I was betrayed by my friends, now I'm hurt by someone I thought cared about me.

At this moment I was so mad I didn't know where I was going. I let my legs take me where ever they wanted me to go. Because in my head I was on the verge of going haywire!

________________________________________________________________________________________

I ended up in my next class somehow. My thoughts had drastically changed between now and then. I did my work while my mind separated from reality to let me scream and implode.

"Brinnng!" It was déjà vu again when the bell rung. `I don't have a way home!' I have already made up my mind that I am not getting in that jaguar!

I can't look at him the same. He tried to play a game with me.

I waited outside, back to square one. Back to loneliness, no friends, no way home. I stood there hopeless.

"Braylon…" Mitch called out grabbing my forearm.

"Mitch, let me go!" I sternly said tugging away. I moved somewhere else hoping he wouldn't follow.

"Braylon!" he pleaded, trying to look in my eyes." Listen to me!"

"No! back up," I said, "and back off!" I tried to dodge his movement. I wasn't in the mood. If he knows what's good for him, he better leave me alone. In this mind state it won't take me long to map out a plan to shatter his reputation.

"Braylon, stop this, man. Please!" he earnestly begged.

"No, go back to your girlfriend and your family. I'm not trying to come in between you and your daughter." I kept moving unsteadily. Over looking him as I spoke. People around us were decreasing, but they didn't know what was going on.

"Oh so that's what you think! First of all, that isn't my girl! Second of all-" he yelled before I took offense shutting him off.

"Who are you hollering at?!" I had to say it. I don't like for people to yell at me. I don't care, he can stab me, or knock me out. I'm not taking this.

"Second of all..." he lowered his tone, "that Shunda stuff, happen about seven or eight months ago. It was a horrible mistake on my part." He admitted. I really didn't care. I was trying to find out how I was getting home.

"C.J. and them thought something was up with me. The noticed I never talked about girls with them. They started picking up on me. So, I got drunk, and I took the first girl that offered. Which turned into this baby mess. Now it is messing up my relationship with you." he tried to convince.

The story was believable. I think the situation turned me off, but I don't want to be anybodies extra! He always have to go back to that ghetto trash bag, because of the baby.

He tried to prove he wasn't gay by doing something with a girl months ago, now it's making me not want to deal with him. Shunda even said they weren't together, but this.. This situation I don't want to be in it.

I told Mitch, "I believe you, but I don't want to have anything to do with you!." I ended roughly staring him head on.

"I love my daughter, but Shunda, never!" he tried to explain. "Come on let's get in the car. We can talk it over in there." he said.

I'm still not riding with him! I don't care how he acts. I'm sorry, but I can't do it! No matter what comes out of his mouth!

Mitch reached for my arm. He wanted me to come with him so bad. I resisted, "No Mitch I'm not going anywhere else with you! So just forget it! You are confused about what you want. I don't want a guy like that!" I angrily vented.

"See that's why I didn't tell you at first. I was about to tell you that day, we kissed. Because you asked ‘are you okay?’ and I told you, ‘You wouldn't understand.’” he said raising the deepness in his voice to rattle my insides.

I remembered clearly that day. He had just bought those cigarettes and he was frustrated about something. This is what it was! That's what was going on, but even that doesn't change my mind.

I ignored him looking around to see if people could hear. Luckily again, no one was listening.

I was desperate to get away from Mitch. I might walk home… on second thought I know what I must do...

That is when it all turned around for me. My hero for the day came busting through the doors. "Jade!" I called, getting his attention. I think the sound of my voice startled him, He almost dropped his keys. I remember him telling me, `He had a car, and if I ever needed anything he was there.` this is the best time for it.

Jade replied, "You need something?" glancing at me, like he hadn't seen me in a million years.

"Can you please take me home?" he looked between Mitch and I, strangely.

Before he said, "Sure!"

I climbed aboard Jade's black expedition . Leaving Mitch where he was pouting. Mitch was pacing in circles running his fingers through his hair frustrated. As we drove off.

Jade lit the conversation breaking the ice. "I don't mean to um...jump to conclusions, but does this mean we are friends again?" he wondered trying not to press any wrong buttons.

The engine was the only thing audible for a minute, until I gave my answer. "Yes, Jade" I watched his face glow warm at my words. He was the only one who acted as if he cared about me. He tried to continue to be friends when I left. So why not be friends with him again?

"What was going on back there with you and Mitch?" he drove. I couldn't tell him everything, at least not now.

"Mitch wasn't who I thought he was." I sadly spoke. I had to hold it all in, wait until I get in my room, and then I can throw pillows, punch my walls, and everything else.

"OH," Jade commented. "I wanted to take this chance to say, I'm sorry about the spill, and when Korbyn was saying `everything was better without you.' he was speaking for his self. I would never say anything like that to you. You were the person that brought meaning to my world...the months we haven't talked my life has been black and white."

I briefly smiled at what he said. The sound of his voice was delightful to be immersed in again. Having Jade at my side again almost filled the black void Mitch left me with. The only thing missing is love or someone to care deeper than a friend.

We talked until I got home. Then I called him and we talked some more. Mitch kept beeping in on my other line, but I ignored all of his calls. I didn't want to have anything to do with him.

I should replace him with the clique. Yeah, I think that is what I should do! Bring my old clique back. I miss it anyway, and at a time like this. I could definitely use their support!