Blind Date and Beginnings - 4. Blind Date - Part 4

Was Ryan asking me what I think he was asking me? And more to the point, what the hell was I supposed to say? I mean, if Ryan was asking me to sleep with him what exactly would it say about me if I accepted after only knowing him for a few hours? And even if I accepted could I really do it? In my entire life I have really only slept with four men. And for each of those it took me quite a long while before I could make that step.

And what if he wasn’t asking me to sleep with him? What if he was just asking me to stay over? What if he was just being friendly and inviting me to crash now instead of facing the drive to my home. He could be doing it so he didn’t have to drive me home. After all, he had to be tired after putting in a full day and then spending half the night chatting with me. Maybe this was just a way he could put off having to make the drive. So if he wasn’t asking me to sleep with him but I answered as if he was, just how awkward would that be? Would I even be able to face him afterwards? And again, what would he think of me?

But what if he was asking me to sleep with him and I said no? What would that do to our relationship? As new and fragile as it was would it be able to recover after something like that? Would he think I wasn’t interested? Would he just write this entire evening off as a waste? Would he ever want to see me again? Would I embarrass him? Would he think I was a tease? Or cold?

But what if…..

All of these thoughts and more flashed across my brain freezing me in indecision, and the faster my thoughts raced the more anxious I got. The more anxious I got the faster my thoughts raced. And so the vicious circle had me by the throat and I could feel that I was just about to start spluttering. And that just made me feel even more self-conscious.

“Shit!” Ryan muttered to himself breaking into my inner debate. A slow flush spread across his face and he looked at me in some trepidation. “That didn’t exactly come out right Zach.” I watched as Ryan licked his lips again and somewhere way back in the depths of my mind it started to occur to me that just maybe he was as nervous as I was. Well, maybe not that nervous – I doubt anyone could be that nervous!

“Uh,” Ryan continued hesitantly. “I, uh, didn’t mean sleep with me,” Ryan said slowly looking down at his feet. And then suddenly he looked back up with his face going a bit pale. “Not that I don’t want to sleep with you!” Ryan assured me quickly, his eyes going a little wild. “I really do want to. Uhm, I mean….. Shit!” Ryan nearly shouted in frustration and his face started to turn crimson. Suddenly he started laughing ruefully shaking his head at himself.

“Ok, let me try this again,” Ryan said after a few moments and taking a deep breath. “What I meant is I’d really like you to stay tonight. I wasn’t propositioning you or anything, although I really do think you are sexy and I’d be lying thru my teeth if I said I wasn’t interested in taking you to bed and ravishing every inch of you.” Ryan grinned a little shamefaced at his confession, his dimples flashing at me devilishly. “As much as I’d love to sleep with you, I know you need to move a little slower than that Zach. And truthfully I want to take this slow too. I want this to be more than a one night stand.”

One thought flashed thru my mind. Ryan DID want to sleep with me! Ryan wanted to sleep with ME! He wanted to go slow, but he did want to sleep with me. And then the next thought raced across my brain. Ryan wanted more than a one night stand. Like a relationship. Ryan wanted to be in a relationship, and with me!

I couldn’t help breathing a sigh of relief and I could feel the tension just melt out of me. Granted it was replaced with tension about starting a relationship, but the relief was nearly overwhelming. I looked up to see Ryan staring at me anxiously and I felt a smile break out over my face. He was adorable when he was nervous.

“I’d like that,” I finally answered him watching a little, timid and uncertain smile break across his face at the ambiguity of my answer. “All of it,” I expanded watching as Ryan’s smile got bigger with each word I uttered. “I’d like to stay tonight, and I’d like to make this more than a one night stand too.” The full smile breaking over his face was like a new risen sun. God he was beautiful when he smiled. I grinned impishly at him. “And for the record, I’d like that being ravished thing too. Let’s keep that as a plan for the future.”

I felt myself starting to blush as Ryan’s smile turned devilish and the sparkle in his eye told me he was definitely going to keep it as a plan. This man was going to set my brain on fire with those smiles of his. “Well….” Ryan drawled, his sexy voice making a shiver run up my spine. “I’m free tomorrow. You got plans?”

“Uh,” I gulped realizing my teasing was backfiring on me. “I, uh….” What the hell was I going to say now?

“Relax Zach,” Ryan laughed at me. “I was teasing. Well, mostly teasing.” I felt my knees starting to turn to water as Ryan waggled his eyebrows at me suggestively. This man was definitely dangerous to my libido! But damn! He made me feel good even if he was turning me into an idiot.

“So,” Ryan asked softly, “do you want to just go to bed now? We can cuddle up together and watch TV. There’s usually an old black and white horror show on and you said you like those as much as I do. We can just snuggle up and watch till we drift off to sleep.” Ryan smiled at me coaxingly. “We can stay up late and sleep in tomorrow. I don’t have to work and since it is the weekend you probably don’t either?” Ryan asked, smiling as I nodded agreement that I was off.

“That sounds really good,” I answered feeling both relaxed and paradoxically nervous. I was more than a little surprised that I was agreeing truthfully. Some of my nervousness must have come thru in my voice because Ryan smiled at me encouragingly.

“Good! I’m glad you are going to stay,” Ryan said happily as he started towards his bedroom while I followed. “And you can protect me from the big bad werewolf or vampire or mummy or whatever monster is on tonight!” I laughed as he grinned at me over his shoulder.

I felt my stomach flutter briefly as we entered Ryan’s bedroom and I couldn’t help but stare at his bed knowing that in a few minutes I was going to be lying next to Ryan in it. I firmly reminded myself that nothing was going to happen tonight and I had nothing to be nervous about. I tore my eyes away from that nerve wracking piece of furniture and glanced over at Ryan. Luckily he had his back to me fiddling with the TV so he didn’t notice my mini panic attack for which I was profoundly grateful.

Ryan finally found the station he was searching for and turned around grinning in satisfaction. “Should be on in a couple of minutes,” he announced happily. “Gives us time to get ready for bed so we won’t miss the start of the show.” Ryan cocked his head slightly as he studied me briefly. “Uh, what do you normally sleep in?” he asked me curiously. “Do you want to wear those shorts? Or I’ve got some boxers you can wear if you want? Or I’ve got some flannel lounge pants?”

I chuckled at his question and the curious look he gave me when I did. “I don’t have a normal sleep outfit,” I tried to explain. “Depending on my mood I’ll sleep in anything from full sweat pants and shirt all the way down to sleeping nude and everything in between. Alex used to laugh at me because I never wore the same thing two nights in a row. He’d always say I was crazy.” Ryan grinned at my explanation although I saw the spark of curiosity flash in his eyes as I mentioned the name Alex. “I’ll just sleep in my underwear,” I finally answered trying to make my answer sound casual even though the damned butterflies were bouncing around in my stomach again. “After all, you said you wanted to see me in them again tonight,” I teased reminding him of his comments at the hospital.

Ryan laughed and then leered at me teasingly. “Damn!” he said in a mixture or mock and real regret. “I knew I should have said I wanted to see you naked instead!” I felt my cheeks go a little warm at his comments but I couldn’t help laughing too. And way down, deep inside, once I burrowed past the butterflies, I had to admit I kind of agreed with him. But that thought just made me blush more.

I started to pull off my shirt and winced as I once again stretched my cuts in a way the stitches didn’t want to allow. Ryan was instantly by my side and he gently pulled my shirt off over my head. “Those cuts are starting to hurt aren’t they?” he asked, lightly placing his fingertips over the one in my abdomen. He gently checked it with a featherlike touch frowning slightly as he did. “Let me get you a pain pill before it gets too bad,” he suggested with a concerned look.

“I’m not that bad,” I protested drawing Ryan up short. He looked at me questioningly and I felt another twinge of nerves as I tried to explain. “I really don’t like taking medication unless I just have too,” I told him softly. “I….I can have some pretty weird reactions to meds,” I finished explaining lamely.

“What kind of reactions?” Ryan asked looking at me with professional curiosity.

I felt my cheeks grow warm once again as I flushed my embarrassment. “Uhm,” I stammered, “I can get, uh, well, pain pills can get me…..uh, acting like I’m pretty drunk.” I hesitated trying to figure out how to finish. “Uh, frat boy drunk,” I said hoping Ryan would get the picture without me having to explain further.

Ryan looked at me curiously a few seconds and then started grinning as he finally realized what I was alluding to. “So what you’re saying is if you take them I might end up having to defend my honor tonight,” Ryan teased practically leering at me. I felt myself turn crimson and I wondered if I could somehow hide under the bed. “Don’t worry,” Ryan assured me chuckling. “These aren’t that strong. More like amped up aspirin. They might make you a little sleepy but that’s no big deal since we are sleeping in tomorrow anyway.”

Ryan could see that I was still hesitant about taking them and he put his hands on my shoulders. “Hey,” he said to me softly. “I promise. They aren’t that strong. I don’t like the idea of you hurting just because you’re worried about getting a case of the wicked hornies around me. Please let me get them for you.”

Wicked hornies! If the boy only knew! I already had a raging case of them without adding drugs to the mix. But I could also see he was really concerned about me and that touched me. It felt good to know Ryan cared so much and it helped calm me a little. I still wasn’t wild about the idea, but I nodded my head slowly, reluctantly assenting to take the pain pill.

Ryan gave me another encouraging smile when I agreed. “Why don’t you go ahead and finish getting ready for bed while I get them? There’s a new toothbrush in the bathroom you can use.” Ryan smiled wryly. “Several of them actually. I can never remember if I need to get a new one when I’m shopping so I always end up with extra.”

I grinned as Ryan headed towards the kitchen and I wandered into the bathroom. The thought of Ryan shopping and being all absent minded was rather cute and I couldn’t help chuckling a little as I brushed my teeth. I finished quickly and wandered back into the bedroom, stripping off my shorts as I went. Even that simple task gave me a twinge of pain and I realized it was going to be a rough couple of days till I healed.

Ryan came walking back in just as I finished taking off my shorts. “Hey! I timed that right,” he teased, leering at me suggestively. I felt myself blush again and quickly got into bed pulling the covers up around my waist. Ryan handed me a pill and a glass of water to swallow it. “Gimme a sec to brush my teeth and I’ll be right back,” he told me as he headed towards the bathroom.

I could hear Ryan rummaging around and water running as he brushed his teeth. I snuggled down into his bed, taking a deep breath to steady my nerves. It had been a very long time since I had been in anyone’s bed but my own but I found myself relaxing and getting comfortable. I smiled as an old Dracula movie started and I settled myself in quickly getting caught up in the show.

After several minutes I realized that I could still hear the water running and Ryan had not come back out. “You’re missing the show,” I called out, idly wondering what could be keeping him. No one brushes their teeth that long no matter how obsessive they are. After a few more seconds Ryan came walking out of the bathroom and I could see he looked a little nervous. He had taken off his shirt already and he walked hesitantly towards the bed looking at me anxiously.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him wondering why he was so tense. “Am I on the wrong side of the bed or something?” I’ve never really cared which side I sleep on but I know some people just have to be on one side or the other.

“No,” Ryan assured me quickly and if anything he appeared to get even twitchier. “I, uhm” Ryan muttered and I was amazed as a blush started spreading over his cheeks. “Oh hell!” Ryan finally said looking at me shamefaced. “Zach, I’ve got a hardon,” he blurted his cheeks getting even redder. “I was stalling hoping it would go away.”

I looked at him for a second and then busted out laughing. I couldn’t help it; he was just so cute admitting that. “It’s ok,” I told him around my laughter. “I’m familiar with the phenomenon.”

“Hell!” Ryan muttered, his blush starting to spread down his chest a bit. “I feel like I’m an awkward teenager again or something.” Ryan looked at me again and started grinning wryly. “Guess I’m gonna have to just man up here,” he stammered as he pulled off his shorts.
I leered at him teasingly to give him a taste of his own medicine while he practically dove under the covers. He definitely filled out those briefs of his and I had to admit he looked damn good in them. A fleeting thought crossed my mind that I wished he slept in the nude but I quickly banished that thought to the back of my brain. Thinking too much along those lines and Ryan wouldn’t be the only one tenting his briefs!

I rolled over on my side facing him and I couldn’t help grinning at him as he squirmed a little under my scrutiny. “I thought you were going to cuddle me,” I teased, giving him a soft kiss.

Ryan started chuckling and flashed me those dimples of his again. “Why Zach, I do believe you are trying to seduce me! That was supposed to be my job!”

I laughed as I turned back to watch the show snuggling into him as he wrapped his arms around me. His warmth quickly spread into me and I could have started purring when he started idly running his fingers in lazy patterns over my chest. I closed my eyes blissfully and before I knew it I had drifted off.

I woke with a start hours later to the insistent buzzing of my cell phone. Groggily I fumbled around till my hands finally located it. “Hello?” I answered still more asleep than awake. Vaguely I realized it was light out and it must be morning.

“Where the hell are you?” Amy shouted on the other end of the line bringing me fully awake. “I’ve been pounding on your door for ten minutes!”

Suddenly I remembered where I was. Shit! How the hell was I going to explain this to Amy?