Blind Date and Beginnings - 1. Blind Date

“Zach, are you free for dinner tonight?” Amy asked, her voice wheedling.

“I think so,” I answered hesitantly. Anytime Amy tried coaxing me to do something in that voice I knew to be careful. She might be one of my best friends but that didn’t stop her from trying to run my life to suit her purposes.

“Good!” Amy replied quickly. “Meet us at Mario’s at 7:00 and dress nice. I’ve got someone for you to meet. Janet is really sweet.”

“Amy! No! Wait!” I nearly shouted into the phone in a near panic. I should have known this was coming. Amy had been hinting that I needed to find someone for several weeks now.

“No time Zach,” Amy answered hurriedly. I could nearly hear the laughter in her voice. “I’ve really got to run. I’ll see you tonight.” And with that she quickly hung up before I could wiggle out of her set up.

I sighed as I hung up the phone. Amy meant well but she refused to accept that I was gay. I was some kind of project for her and to her way of thinking I just hadn’t met the right woman yet. She was convinced that if she introduced me to enough women something would finally click. It was almost like clockwork that I could count on some kind of set up every three months or so. No matter how disastrous these blind dates went Amy kept on trying.

I knew it would be useless to try and call her back. Amy was a force of nature when she had her mind set on something. What really boggled my mind was she knew that I had been with a guy for over eight years. It was sweet that she wanted me to find someone and be happy, and that was the only reason I didn’t strangle her when she pulled these stunts.

I sighed again as I headed towards my bathroom to start getting ready. Maybe if I was really lucky tonight would be over quickly and I could manage to let Amy’s friend know there was no chance of anything happening without embarrassing her of pissing her off. Maybe. A big fat maybe!

Two hours later I found myself pulling into Mario’s parking lot dreading the evening to come. My only consolation was I loved Mario’s menu and at least I could expect a good meal from the evening. And then I spied Amy and her husband chatting with a petite brunette in front of Mario’s door. I rolled my eyes and sighed again. Amy had met Alex before and why she thought I’d be attracted to his exact opposite baffled me.

“Zach!” Amy called out spying me walking across the parking lot. I briefly considered running to try and escape but only for moment. “I was just about to call you to see what was keeping you.”

I glanced at my watch involuntarily even though I knew I was early. “Traffic,” I replied giving her a brief hug. “It’s good to see you again John,” I said smiling to her husband. I’m horrible at small talk but at least in this case I wasn’t lying. I really did like John and secretly marveled at how he kept his sanity with Amy as a wife.

“This is my friend Janet,” Amy introduced me and I smiled as I briefly took Janet’s hand. “Janet’s a paralegal with the firm that represents the Bank. Janet this is Zach,” Amy continued the introduction. “Zach works in the operations department.”

Looking into Janet’s eyes I knew she had taken me in with one glance and already dismissed me. Clearly I wasn’t what she had been expecting although I briefly wondered what that might have been. I was pretty sure I had wiped that big ‘I’m Gay’ sign off my forehead. It was irrational considering I didn’t want to go out with her in the first place but I couldn’t help but be a little offended.

“It’s nice to meet you Janet,” I said to her as we entered the restaurant. I was determined to be polite even if killed me. Besides I knew Amy would probably thwap me upside the head if I was anything but charming. Or at least my version of charming since I’m not much of a people person.

“Nice to meet you too Zeke,” Janet replied barely glancing at me. Her eyes were wandering over the occupants of the restaurant and I wondered briefly if she’d even stay with us if she saw anyone she knew.

“Zach,” I said to her smiling outwardly even while I was wondering how I could stage my own death and escape.

“What?” Janet said to me irritably finally looking at me.

“My name is Zach,” I answered. I considered pretending food poisoning but I’d hate to do that to Mario’s. Their food was the best and I’d probably drag myself out of my grave to eat it.

“Oh,” Janet said looking away. “Sorry.” I couldn’t help notice she rolled her eyes as she turned her head. I couldn’t help grimacing and shot daggers at Amy with my eyes. I didn’t know how yet, but somehow I was going to make her pay for putting me thru this.

Amy frowned at me and mouthed ‘Be nice’ as we took our seats. Glancing at John I saw he was trying to hide his amusement at my situation and doing a very bad job of it too. I glared at him and he quickly picked up his menu to hide.

“No problem,” I said to Janet trying to make it sound sincere. I briefly thought about mangling her name in reply but I knew that would be obvious. Not to mention petty. And painful since Amy wouldn’t hesitate to kick me under the table. “So…uh, do you work exclusively on the Bank’s projects?” I asked trying to make small talk.

“Pretty much,” Janet answered curtly. “It’s pretty boring and I’ve been trying to get the partners to transfer me to something more interesting. Banking is just so dull.”

I smiled at her again and considered kicking Amy myself. Granted my job wasn’t exactly the most interesting topic but Janet’s response was pretty insulting. I sighed as I opened my menu and felt Amy kick me. I glared at her over the top of my menu and resigned myself to a very painful evening. I briefly wondered if I could get some shin guards.

Luckily the waiter arrived to take our drink orders and I was spared having to make any kind of reply to Janet. “Let’s get a bottle of wine,” John suggested grinning at me slyly. He knew I wasn’t much of a drinker but I’m sure he figured I was going to need it. We all quickly agreed for various reasons and the waiter whisked off to get us our wine.

I pretended to be engrossed in the menu even though I practically had Mario’s menu memorized. How on earth was I going to make it thru the evening? This lady was about as charming as a spitting cobra and almost as interesting as an eroding rock. After years of painful practice I had managed to pick up a smattering of social small talk but I really needed the other person to hold up their end of the conversation. I didn’t think Amy would be real sympathetic if I was silent all night and I knew she’d blame me for this disaster.

Our waiter returned with glasses and our wine and I couldn’t help wondering if I could get drunk enough to black this evening out. The waiter was standing between me and Janet pouring her a glass when her cell phone went off. I couldn’t help rolling my eyes but at the same time wondered if maybe she’d spend the rest of the evening chatting with whoever was on the line.

At the first ring Janet’s expression brightened and she seemed to jump for her purse to grab her phone. Unfortunately for me she bumped into the waiter knocking the bottle out of his hand. I suddenly felt like I was in one of those movies where they put disasters into slow motion for effect. Time seemed to slow to a standstill as I watched the bottle drop to the table and catch the very edge of the table and shatter. I started to jump to my feet to try and avoid the spilling wine but again I felt like I was moving in super slow mo. I have never seen a wine bottle shatter so completely and shards of glass seemed to explode straight towards me. All I could seem to do as I was splattered with wine and glass shards hit me in the abdomen and leg was gape in astonishment.

And then time sped back up again.

I stared down at my drenched front and couldn’t help spy the two large splinters of glass sticking out of me – one in my abdomen and one in my leg. Funny, it didn’t seem to hurt which is why it surprised me to see the glass sticking out of my clothes. In fact at first I thought they were just sticking out of my clothes, but then I saw my shirt begin to turn red as it started to absorb the blood.

“Oh my God!” Amy shrieked. “Zach! Are you ok?”

“Sit still Zach,” John commanded as I started to reach to pull out the shards. “Leave them in till we get you to the hospital.”

“Sir! I’m so sorry!” the waiter shouted. “Let me get you an ambulance.”

I looked at all of them in confusion as pandemonium seemed to break out over the entire restaurant. Yes, I was bleeding but surely I didn’t need to go to the hospital did I?

“What happened?” Janet said looking up from her call totally oblivious. “Oh Gross!” she exclaimed as she finally spied the shards of glass and blood. I couldn’t help myself and started laughing. I’m sure everyone thought I was going into shock or something, but the absurdity of this woman made me either want to slap her or bust out laughing. I chose laughter.

Faster than I would have thought possible I found myself in the nearest emergency room. Amy and John insisted on coming too and so Janet found herself right there with us since they had driven her to what I was coming to dub the absurd date from hell. I think even Amy was getting ready to punch her since Janet kept up a steady stream of complaints as we were ushered into the examining room.

I couldn’t help wincing as the examining room nurse helped me off with my shirt, but more from embarrassment than pain. I’m still painfully shy and being even partially undressed in front of people always makes me blush. It was bad enough taking off my shirt in front of all these people, but I knew I was probably going to have to remove my pants too so they could get at the glass in my leg.

“Yuck!” Janet mumbled as she looked at me and shuddered. “That’s just gross.”

“I’m sorry about the blood Janet,” I said somewhat sympathetically. I knew a lot of people can’t stand the sight of blood and I figured she must be one of them. “You don’t have to stay in here with me. Why don’t you all wait in the waiting room?” Maybe she had some human qualities after all.

“It’s not the blood it’s all that hair,” Janet replied shuddering slightly and looking at my chest in contempt. “You look like a beast or something with all that chest hair.”

“Why don’t we go out to the lobby,” Amy chimed in before I could reply. She rather forcefully turned Janet towards the hall out started to half walk, half drag her away before I could retort. John shrugged apologetically as he followed his wife out. I could see by his stance he was about as eager as I was to get away from this harpy too.

“I don’t know why you ever thought I’d be interested in someone like him Amy,” I heard Janet say in a whining voice.

“If I wasn’t gay before I’d turn gay to get out of having to date that bitch,” I mumbled to myself as I gingerly pulled off my pants. I looked up as I heard a snort of laughter from the nurse and couldn’t help blushing as she winked at me. I hadn’t realized she was still in the room and could hear what I mumbled.

“The doctor will be right in Zach,” she said trying to hold back her laughter. She winked at me again before leaving and I could feel my cheeks growing hot. At least I had made her day.

I hadn’t even got sat down on the examining table before the doctor walked in and introduced himself as Doctor Ryan Moore or just Doc for short. He was grinning openly at me and I figured he had either been filled in by the nurse or had overheard everything. This night was just getting better and better and I was getting more than a little irritated that everyone was having such a good laugh over my situation. When this was all over I was going to make Amy pay big time!

As I sat there fuming the doctor quickly removed the glass shards from my abdomen and leg and gave me a couple stitches. My only consolation was he was fairly good looking, although that made me blush a little when I thought about it. Luckily he seemed intent on my wounds so I don’t think he noticed my cheeks getting red.

“This shouldn’t leave a scar,” the doctor told me as he was finishing up. “I’ll write you a script for a mild pain killer and you should be good as new.” I felt my cheeks flush again as he flashed me a big smile that showed off really cute dimples. I admit, I think dimples are simply sexy as hell!

“Thanks doc,” I mumbled hoping my blush wasn’t too obvious. “It doesn’t really hurt too much right now but I’ll take it if it starts.”

“Good,” he smiled at me again. “And for the record I think she’s nuts. Your chest hair is pretty damn sexy!” His grin got even bigger and I swear his dimples got even sexier.

“Uh….” I mumbled stupidly, embarrassed as all holy and I knew that I had turned scarlet. Was this hunk coming on to me?

“Sorry,” Ryan said not sound the least bit sorry. “I shouldn’t be quite that forward with my patients but I figured we were finished here so you aren’t my patient anymore.” The man’s grin had to be illegal! “I’m off in a couple of minutes and I’d love to grab a cup of coffee or something if you are up for it. I really do think you are pretty good looking.”

“Uh…” I stuttered again. “Uh, sure,” I answered blushing again. Ryan was grinning at me with the most amused expression I can ever remember someone having. “You know, uh,” I continued spluttering. “I’m uh, very conscious of the fact that I’m just in my underwear here,” I finally managed to spit out turning even brighter red.

“Yeah I know,” Ryan laughed. “They look good on you. But I guess I better let you get dressed so we can go grab that coffee.” Ryan started towards the door and then paused looking back at me. “Maybe I’ll get a chance to see them again later?”

Maybe this date from hell wasn’t so bad after all…