Jump to content
  • Members Can Sign Up For Content Notifications

    Do you want to be automatically notified of updates to your favorite content?  Join now for free and follow your favorite stuff!

Between the Push and Pull - 10. Chapter 10

Warning: this scene contains sexual content that is graphic and explicit. Reader discretion is advised.

The higher the elevator rose, the greater the feeling of dread that threatened to overwhelm Ryan and send him running down the stairs. A fancy hotel in Midtown was the last place he wanted to be, and the job he had in front of him was the last thing he wanted to do.

The elevator dinged much too soon for Ryan’s liking, and the door slid open to reveal Erik, leaning against the opposite wall, long muscular legs crossed in front of him, head bent over his phone.

The sound of the elevator arriving had Erik lifting his head, and the smile that broke out across his face both helped to soothe Ryan’s unease while at the same time set him on edge.

“Hey.” Erik’s voice was low, rumbling and rolling over Ryan’s skin. “I wasn’t sure you’d make it. You didn’t respond to any of my texts.”

“Yeah.” Ryan shrugged. “Sorry about that.”

Erik nodded his acknowledgement but didn’t push away from the wall.

“What are you doing out here?” Ryan asked.

“Waiting for you.”

“Oh.” Ryan felt a little guilty for ignoring Erik’s attempts to contact him all week. “Sorry.”

Erik breathed deep and sighed. “Come on, we’re this way.”

He led them down the corridor and around the corner to the door farthest away from the elevator. The door had been propped open, and when Erik ushered him in, Ryan had to suppress a slight gasp.

The place was impressive: a large suite on the top floor of a Manhattan high rise, tastefully decorated, elegant and classy. Floor-to-ceiling windows placed the city at their feet; iconic buildings rose in the distance, the sunshine bouncing off shiny glass towers. Ryan drifted over to the window and stared.

The city was so big—millions of people striving and fighting for survival in the toughest, no-holds-barred market in the world. You had to be the best of the best to make it in New York...so what the hell was Ryan doing here?

“Great view, huh?” Gary came up and clamped Ryan on the shoulder.

Ryan grunted in agreement.

“Too bad we can’t stay to admire it. We’ve only got the suite for a limited time; this place ain’t cheap!” Gary pulled Ryan away from the window. “We’re going to shoot in here.”

On the far side of the suite was a set of french doors that opened to reveal a bedroom almost as large as the living room. The bed has been pushed out of its place and a scene had been set up in the corner where two glass walls met to give a panoramic view. A little loveseat sat off to the side, and a sheepskin rug lay on the floor.

It looked beautiful and romantic, and Ryan felt like vomiting.

“Buddy, you okay?” Gary asked, pulling Ryan around to get a look at him. “You don’t look so hot. Maybe we should put some makeup on you.”

Ryan hated makeup. “No, no, I’m good.”

“You sure? You look a little green.”

“I’m sure, I just need a little water.”

“Yeah, over there.” Gary pointed to a table that had been set up with all sorts of gear and supplies.

Ryan grabbed a bottle of water and drank half of it in one go. Next to the water was a big box of supplies that one would only find on the set of a porn shoot. Ryan pried the lid off and rifled around in the mix of packages and bottles. Condoms of various sizes and lubes of various consistencies and chemistry—necessities of the trade. But also packets of little blue Viagra pills, Caverject kits to help guys stay hard during the shoot, and finally, little plastic bottles with twist tops—poppers.

Ryan had tried all the drugs in the box at one point or another, although he tried to stay away from them as much as he could. Today, though, was not one of those days. He grabbed a bottle of poppers and stuck it into his pocket. Can’t take it too early. The effect won’t last long enough. But even just the knowledge that it was there seemed to help.

“Hey.” Erik appeared at Ryan’s shoulder, concern written all over his face.

“Hey,” Ryan responded.

Erik hesitated before continuing. “Your costume is hanging in the bathroom. You should get changed.”

Ryan nodded. Erik had already changed into another pair of baggy sweats, this time accompanied by an equally baggy hoodie.

Ryan didn’t move away immediately. Instead, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply of that unique musky scent that was all Erik. The scent wound its way into Ryan’s lungs and wrapped around his heart, much like the smoke that wound its way around Erik’s body. Ryan tried to grasp onto that scent, to hold tightly to it, memorizing its contour and weight, letting it settle whatever unease he felt.

When he opened his eyes, Erik’s face was a carefully schooled mask. Ryan couldn’t tell what Erik was thinking, but he could tell that Erik was thinking hard about something.

Inside his pocket, his fingers wrapped around the plastic bottle, and Ryan stepped away to change.

His outfit today was similar to all the others—professorial and nerdy, complete with the reading glasses. He took his place on the loveseat, the bottle of poppers gripped tightly in his hand. Once Gary called action, Ryan opened the bottle, brought it up to his nose, and plugging one nostril took a deep breath. He counted to ten before letting it out slowly.

The effect was immediate; his face felt flushed, his heart pounded, his brain felt a little too big, but most of all, he felt the sudden desire for Erik to fuck the shit out of him. Good thing that’s what they were there to do.

Ryan handed the bottle off to an assistant off screen and craned his neck around in search for Erik. He was standing behind the loveseat and crouched down to wrap his arms around Ryan’s shoulders.

Ryan leaned his head back to rub his cheek against Erik’s, his hand floated up to hold Erik in place. Erik had just shaved, his jaw was silky smooth, and Ryan turned to caress the soft skin with his lips. He kissed his way along Erik’s jaw, down the column of Erik’s neck before venturing back to capture Erik’s lips. Plump, pliant, delicious lips opened for Ryan’s tongue to dip inside and feast on.

Erik must have eaten a mint right before the shoot; the fresh sweetness tasted like ambrosia to Ryan. He needed more, he needed all of Erik in his arms, on top of him, skin against skin, filling him to overflowing.

A whimper escaped Ryan’s throat, and his arms did their best to reach for Erik from their awkward position. Much to Ryan’s relief, Erik seemed to get the message and vaulted over the back of the loveseat.

He landed on the cushions and promptly pulled Ryan underneath him, pressing down and covering Ryan with muscle and strength. Ryan writhed to get as much contact as he could, but there was too much clothing in the way. He began clawing at Erik’s clothes, pulling up the hoodie to find nothing underneath but the smooth ridges of Erik’s skin.

Erik reached around to grasp Ryan’s hands and pulled them away. Fingers entwined, Erik held Ryan’s hands above their heads. His position on his back and the itching need crawling through his veins robbed Ryan of the strength to resist. He was just grateful for Erik’s mouth that never left his own and the way Erik was grinding his crotch against Ryan’s.

Ryan’s legs wrapped around Erik’s, holding him in place and angling their bodies to maximize the friction of their cocks rubbing together through their clothes. Finally, Erik let go of his hands, and Ryan took the opportunity to bury his fingers in Erik’s thick, silky black hair; the other hand clutched at Erik’s back, appreciating the wide expanse. Erik wrapped his arms around Ryan’s waist, pressing their stomachs and chests together, squeezing tightly until Ryan felt lightheaded from lack of air.

Then just as suddenly as his desire skyrocketed, it petered out. Ryan’s heart settled, and the itching in his veins subsided. Erik seemed to sense the change and slowed his own attack. The deep tongue-wrestling kisses faded to sweeter, lingering ones. The urgent dry humping faded into a pleasant weight that Ryan clung to to help center him in the riot of his emotions.

“Hey,” Erik whispered, face hovering an inch away. He removed Ryan’s hand from his hair, and placed gentle kisses on Ryan’s palms before laying them flat against his cheek and nuzzling them. Erik brushed Ryan’s hair off his forehead and toyed with the highlighted locks. “I thought you asked me over to talk,” he said with a smile.

It took a second for Ryan to sort his brain out, but then he caught on. “Yeah, I did.”

“Tell me what you wanted to talk about.”

Ryan looked up into Erik’s eyes, searching for something, though he wasn’t sure what. He knew that at the moment, they were supposed to be Roman and Everett, porn stars extraordinaire with beautiful bodies and big dicks. They were supposed to fuck, look like they enjoyed the fucking and move on to the next conquest.

But Ryan didn’t feel like Roman; in fact, he found the idea of Roman slightly repulsive, and he knew that if he dwelled on that feeling there’d be no way he could finish the scene.

And Erik didn’t look like Everett. He didn’t look like that cocksure, slightly arrogant persona that was portrayed on screen. Instead, Erik looked like he did on Halloween when he invited Ryan back to his place: a little unsure, a little hesitant. And he looked like he did later that night over the breakfast bar in his kitchen, wanting something but unable to grasp it.

“How... how do you compartmentalize?” Ryan asked. It was a question asked not by Roman to Everett about go-go dancing but a question asked by Ryan to Erik about having sex with near strangers in front of a camera.

Erik swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and his eyes took on a hint of sadness. The fingers in Ryan’s hair stilled for a split second of uncertainty before they continued again.

“There’s a level of intimacy involved whenever you let someone else touch you. In... this... context, that intimacy is forced on you; it forces you to invite an audience to see the most intimate part of yourself. But I think the natural reaction for most people is to push that away, to keep themselves closed and to protect that intimacy. It’s a constant push and pull that can really mess people up. I think it takes a pretty soulless person to be able to fully compartmentalize. For most people, they’re struggling in the midst of that tension.”

There was truth in those words; Ryan heard it in Erik’s voice but also felt it in his heart.

“So, how do you deal with that?”

Erik chuckled. “A lot of guys take drugs. There is an unbelievable amount of drugs behind the scenes—and alcohol. Anything, really, to help disassociate and distract themselves just to get through it.”

“And you? Is that how you deal with it?”

Erik hesitated; his eyes pierced Ryan’s own and held them in a tug of war, a battle of how much to reveal, not just to the camera, but also to each other.

“I’ve tried them. They do the job while I’m on them. But I feel like shit afterwards when I come down from the high and realize that the drugs don’t help with the tension. They make me oblivious to how much I’m revealing at the moment, but afterwards... It doesn’t feel good when I realize I’ve revealed too much.”

“So you just live with the tension?”

The hint of sadness grew in Erik’s eyes, and his body sagged under Ryan’s hands. “Yeah.” Erik’s voice was barely audible. “I just live with the tension.”

Ryan held Erik’s face between his palms, forcing Erik to meet his gaze. “You do a good job of hiding it.” Ryan meant that as an encouragement and acknowledgement of how hard it was to live in the tension and still be able to function in society. He tried to convey that with not so many words, and if the melancholy smile Erik responded with was any indication, Erik understood Ryan’s message as such.

“Okay, let’s, uh..., take five,” Gary called out. He walked over and looked down on Ryan and Erik as they lay entwined on the loveseat. In a softer voice he said, “You two, snap out of it. Go outside, get some air, and shake off whatever...whatever this is.” His words sounded harsh, but neither Ryan nor Erik missed the look of understanding in Gary’s eyes.

Ten minutes later, they were back in that corner, loveseat off to the side, New York City just beyond. Ryan stood by the window; here a ledge stuck out from the glass wall, hip height, hiding a heating unit—perfect to lean against so that Ryan wouldn’t be pressed right up against the glass and risk plunging to his death if Erik’s fucking got a little too violent.

Erik stood behind him, hands working away at the tension in Ryan’s shoulders. It helped, but their earlier dialogue played in Ryan’s head, building that tension that no massage could dissipate.

“You need another hit?” Erik asked softly against Ryan’s ear. The warm breath against his sensitive skin sent shivers down Ryan’s spine, but again that tension, the forced intimacy...

Ryan nodded, and Erik disappeared for a moment. He gazed out onto the city and remembered the sense of excitement and awe that he felt when he first moved to New York. The promises of adventure were intoxicating, and everything had been imbued with a sense of urgency. His studies at Columbia were tough and demanding, but Ryan fought to rise to the challenge. For the most part, he did well, progressed academically, made friends and developed a community of people to spend time with.

But the paradox of New York is that there are millions of people around, and yet it is the loneliest place. Ryan felt that loneliness more acutely now than he had ever felt before, even more than when he left his studies to bartend. The thrill of New York was not much more than an unsustainable high; it feels great when you’re caught up in the midst of it, but you crash eventually, and New York doesn’t give a shit about picking you back up.

Erik came back with the poppers. Ryan took the bottle with that same tension; he wanted the drug and didn’t want it at the same time. But he knew he wouldn’t be able to get through this scene without it.

He took a hit and waited the scant seconds it would take for the drug to kick in. Ryan felt Erik’s strong arms wrap around him, and he melted back against Erik’s wide and now bare chest. His veins itched with the need to be touched. Hard muscle pressed against Ryan’s back while roaming hands caressed down his front, pulling his neatly tucked shirt from his pants.

Erik’s talented mouth had latched onto Ryan’s ear and was toying with his earring. The itch was doused by Erik’s fire, which raced through Ryan until he was overheated and desperate to be naked.

He helped Erik pull the shirt apart, some button popping off in their haste. Erik pushed the fabric over Ryan’s shoulders and down his arms, trapping Ryan’s hands behind him with a twist of the shirt. Momentarily immobilized, Ryan shuddered as Erik took the opportunity to ghost his hands over Ryan’s chest, tweaking his nipples, dipping into his belly button until they came to rest over the waist of Ryan’s jeans.

A pop of the button, and then a slow pull of the zipper had Ryan squirming in Erik’s arms.

“Please, Ev,” Ryan moaned. “Don’t tease.”

With just enough room to shove his hand in, Erik reached down into Ryan’s briefs and massaged Ryan’s growing dick. His palm rubbed against the sensitive head as Ryan bucked his hips to increase the friction. All the while, Erik twirled Ryan’s earring with his tongue, and Ryan whimpered for more.

With his arms behind his back, Ryan groped for Erik’s cock and felt a little thrill of triumph when he found the long hard rod tenting the soft fabric of the sweatpants. A couple of tugs along the length and Erik was groaning behind him.

“Everett,” Ryan pleaded. He could feel the effects of the poppers starting to fade—they were never quite as potent the second time around—and he didn’t want to dally with foreplay.

Erik got the message and stepped away for a second. Then Ryan felt his hands being extracted from their shirt-prison before Erik’s big hands slid down his hips, pushing briefs and pants down his legs at the same time.

Ryan braced himself on the ledge and helped Erik kick off his remaining clothes. He stayed in the slightly bent over position as he felt Erik’s hot breath against his ass cheeks.

Erik’s hands covered his butt mounds, squeezing and pulling them apart to reveal Ryan’s spasming hole. The lingering effects of the poppers made Ryan push his ass back, seeking the wetness of Erik’s mouth. And Erik did not disappoint. He dived in with gusto, licking and nipping at the wrinkled skin, forcing his tongue into Ryan’s body.

“Yes,” Ryan moaned, reveling in the feeling of being breached.

The heat of Erik’s mouth travelled from Ryan’s ass, across his back and out to his limbs, replacing the fading itch from the poppers, and filling Ryan’s cock as it grew hard. Then Erik’s tongue was replaced by a finger that twisted and pressed until Ryan’s sphincter gave way and it slid in.

Ryan heard his moan bounce off the glass window and back at him. It sounded erotic, heated and needy; it jarred Ryan out of the last of the poppers’ hold over his senses, and he blinked as reality came abruptly back into focus.

Erik’s mouth on his ass and the finger inside his body still felt good, especially as it tapped against Ryan’s prostate, sending bursts of flame across his nerve endings. But unlike previous times, the pleasure could not distract Ryan from the tension Erik had spoken about.

He pushed back as Erik slid a second finger inside, the two scissoring and tapping against Ryan’s prostate. Ryan dropped his head forward as sensations of being finger-fucked radiated through his body and tangled with the knowledge that the pleasure was being forcefully wrung from him.

Ryan’s strangled cry was equal parts desire and shame.

Ryan felt a squeeze on his hip, and then Erik’s fingers slipped from his loosened hole. In the momentary reprieve, Ryan gave into the tension and held up his arm for the poppers again.

He took his third hit as Erik returned, sheathed and lubed.

Erik’s arms wrapped around him again, holding him steady, all strong muscle, soft skin. Ryan reached back for a kiss and rubbed himself against Erik, loving the slide of skin against skin.

Erik broke the kiss. “Ready?” he asked. There was something in his eyes in the way he asked the question. But the poppers were kicking in again, and Ryan pushed the thought away.

“Oh, god, yes, Everett. Fuck me, please,” Ryan moaned. It sounded loud to his ears.

Erik didn’t waste any time and slowly slid in. Ryan let his head fall back against Erik’s shoulder, focusing all his drug-addled attention on the feeling of Erik’s big cock invading his body, stretching his rectum, filling his gut and pushing his organs out of place. It satisfied the itch crawling in Ryan’s veins and at the same time fed it. Ryan wanted more.

“Fuck me, Ev; please fuck me,” Ryan begged.

Erik started slow, nothing more than a slight tilt of his hips, going from deep to deeper, nudging gently against Ryan’s prostate. One arm was wrapped around Ryan’s waist; Ryan settled his own arm on top to secure the hold, their fingers entwined, knuckles white with the strain. Erik’s other hand turned Ryan’s face so that their lips could meet and tongues could wrestle. Ryan’s other hand was buried in Erik’s thick hair, holding him in place just as desperately.

This felt good, felt secure, felt safe. But the itch grew and could not be ignored.

“Please, fuck me, Ev. I need you to fuck me.”

Erik’s arms tightened around Ryan, squeezing until Ryan could barely breathe; the lack of oxygen contributed to the dizzying pressure in Ryan’s head.

Then Erik growled in his chest and pushed Ryan forward against the ledge. He grabbed Ryan’s leg from the back of the knee and lifted it until Ryan was standing on one leg with the other perched on the ledge. Ryan was exposed now, but it didn’t matter because Erik had picked up the pace and was now slamming into him hard, the slap slap of skin against skin echoing into the air.

Ryan braced himself against Erik’s fucking, but the force pushed him forward until his face ended up against the glass. Ryan breathed heavily as each thrust radiated fire from his ass across his contorted body, feeding the itch.

Ryan’s breath fogged up the glass, blurring his already dazed view of the city. On one particularly forceful slam of Erik’s hips, Ryan had to brace himself with a hand on the glass, leaving a handprint on the fogged window.

The fucking was unrelenting and just what Ryan needed to satisfy the demands of the drug, provide Gary with enough footage, and get him the hell out of that hotel room. Ryan’s free hand found his hard cock and twisted around the engorged head. He was close, just a little more pounding on his prostate and he could come and it’d be over.

But just as he was about to crest the ridge, Erik stopped, abruptly pulled out of Ryan’s ass and stepped away, leaving Ryan empty and on the brink, unable to fall over the edge.

Ryan felt his asshole clenching, searching for something to fill it, but there was nothing. Bewildered and confused, Ryan turned, looking to Erik for an explanation. Erik stood a couple of feet away by the sheepskin rug, a hardened expression on his face.

Ryan wanted to ask why he stopped, but the steely look in Erik’s eyes and the tight press of his lips together gave Ryan pause. He un-contorted himself and stepped away from the ledge. The window was completed fogged, save for the imprint of Ryan’s hand and face. The sight wiped away the effects of the poppers, and suddenly Ryan was completely sober, faced with the evidence of his vulnerability.

Ryan turned away, only to be greeted with a fully dressed crew holding cameras, strategically place flood lights, and boxes of gear. They all stared at him, expectantly, waiting for him to make the next move. Except the only move Ryan wanted to make was to put his clothes back on and run away.

“Roman?”

Ryan turned to Erik, still standing by the sheepskin rug, hand outstretched. He read determination in Erik’s eyes, a resolve that would not be shaken. Ryan focused on that resolve and held onto it as if it were his own. He reached for Erik’s extended hand and let Erik pull him down to the floor.

As Ryan lay down, he reached out for the poppers again, but Erik caught his hand and drew it back.

“I need it,” Ryan whispered.

“No, you don’t,” Erik responded.

Ryan was about to protest when Erik’s grip tightened on his hand.

“You don’t,” he insisted.

Ryan swallowed thickly, not sure if he believed Erik but desperately wanting to. He let Erik capture his lips in another kiss—Erik’s magical lips that stole Ryan’s breath away.

Ryan’s erection had gone limp in the short interlude, and Erik took the time to bring it back to full strength. His hands sought out all of Ryan’s sensitive places, teased them, and left little fires burning all over Ryan’s skin.

Then Erik whispered against Ryan’s lips, “Close your eyes, focus on me.”

Ryan obeyed as Erik kissed his way to Ryan’s ear and sealed his lips around Ryan’s earlobe. That had the desired effect, sending tendrils of fire curling through Ryan’s limbs, and brought his erection back to full staff.

Erik shifted until he lay between Ryan’s thighs, and Ryan automatically wrapped his legs around Erik’s hips. But Erik made no move to enter Ryan’s ass again. Instead, they kissed, long lazy, lingering kisses, tongues licking, teeth biting and pulling on lips.

Ryan did as Erik instructed and focused all his attention on the man in his arms, feeling Erik’s weight pressing him into the softness of the rug, breathing in the heavy muskiness that wafted off Erik’s skin. He let Erik fill his senses until everything else was blocked out, until there was nothing else but Erik above him, around him, and in him.

“Please,” Ryan whimpered in between kisses. “I need you.”

Ryan blinked up at Erik, hoping that his message was being received. Ryan needed Erik, not Everett; he needed the playful, carefree, yet deep-thinking man that had somehow slipped past his carefully constructed defenses and drew out an awareness that Ryan had wanted to keep hidden.

Erik’s pupils narrowed as he heard and understood Ryan’s message. The hard kiss he gave and Erik’s full-body shudder told Ryan that his message got through.

Erik slipped a hand between their bodies to guide his cock back into Ryan’s ass. It slid in without too much resistance, and he continued until he was fully sheathed in Ryan’s heat. Ryan clenched his ass, enjoying the feeling of being full. Maybe if he clenched hard enough, he would never be empty again.

Erik shuddered above him as if he sympathized with the unspoken thought.

The fucking was slow—with lots of kisses and roaming hands. Ryan tilted his hips to meet each one of Erik’s slow, shallow thrusts. Ryan felt that he could go on like this forever. Forget the crew, forget the city, forget everything that made demands on him, everything that wanted a piece of him without ever giving anything back. As long as Erik was in his arms, making love to him, Ryan could forgo everything else in the world.

That idle, unbidden thought stoked the fire in his veins with a burst of oxygen that quickly raced through Ryan’s body. He arched up into Erik’s arms, his cock rubbing against the ridges of Erik’s smooth stomach, straining for relief.

Erik increased his pace, angling his thrusts to jab at Ryan’s prostate until Ryan cried out at the pleasure pulsing in his veins.

“Ryan,” Erik whispered. “Ryan.”

Ryan blinked at the sound of his name. At first, he thought Erik has mistakenly used his real name instead of his stage name. But what he saw in Erik’s eyes mirrored the thought that had come to him suddenly, and Ryan knew that Erik had made no mistake. The knowledge that this was more than just an on-screen fuck to Erik was enough to push Ryan over the edge.

Ryan bucked up against Erik, his body moving of its own accord, seeking the sensations that would bring completion. His eyes, however, were locked in a gaze with Erik’s, communicating more with just a look than Ryan knew how to communicate with words.

The tension built and built until it could no longer be sustained.

“Erik,” Ryan whispered back as his orgasm ripped through him, splitting apart every nerve ending and overloading his senses. And yet, despite the dizzying euphoria that came with orgasm, Ryan was completely clear-headed, focused on Erik, grounded in Erik.

Ryan kept his hold tight as Erik shifted to extract himself from Ryan’s body. Ryan watched as Erik’s face scrunched up, his breathing increased, and his muscles tensed. He brought himself to completion, and Ryan felt the wet heat of Erik’s cum join Ryan’s mess between their bodies.

And still, they maintained eye contact, rooted in their own identities, that single thread of truth in the confusion and tension of what they had just done.

“Cut.” Gary’s voice was soft, none of the usual gruff and bristle.

The crew started moving around, checking the footage and packing things up.

But Ryan didn’t want to move, didn’t want to leave the security of Erik’s arms and face whatever lay beyond. Because he wasn’t sure he could face it anymore.

Erik tried to pull back from their embrace, but Ryan held tight for a moment longer. Erik understood; Ryan could read the sadness in those blue eyes. But they couldn’t stay on the floor forever, so with reluctance, Ryan let him go.

The feeling of loss was immediate; cool air rushed to fill the space between their heated bodies. Ryan felt a chill that extended beyond mere temperature. He ignored the hand Erik had extended to help pull him up and instead raced to use the bathroom first.

Ryan moved with record speed, wiping himself down, and putting on his own clothes. He needed to get out of there as quickly as possible. He needed to avoid Erik at all costs; he didn’t have it in him to talk the way Erik always wanted to talk.

Ryan felt a little foolish when he peeked out the bathroom door to see if Erik was waiting for him. He was nowhere in sight, so Ryan took the chance to slip out, rush past the crew still cleaning up and toward the elevator.

It felt as if the elevator was taking forever to arrive. Just as the doors opened, Ryan heard Erik call his name from down the hall.

“Ryan?” Erik called out. Ryan punched at the close-door button repeatedly. “Ryan! Wait!”

The doors closed just as Erik caught up, and Ryan prayed to whatever higher being that existed that the elevator would move before Erik could get the door opened again. That higher being must have taken pity on him, because the elevator lurched, and suddenly he was being brought back to the lobby, away from Erik, away from the scene, and away from the tension that had unknowingly eaten away at Ryan’s soul.

As he stepped outside, Ryan took a deep breath and let the cold winter air bite at his lungs. Ryan had no idea what the days ahead held in store for him, but he knew that would be the last scene he’d ever do. He was done with porn.

Good? Bad? Love it? Hate it? Leave a review or join the discussion here!

Copyright © 2018 Hudson Bartholomew; All Rights Reserved.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

Great chapter. Ryan definitely needs to be done with porn. I just hope he comes to term with his emotions before he pushes Erik away for good.

  • Like 1

Share this comment


Link to comment

I have a feeling that even if Ryan didn't have feelings for Erik, he still wouldn't be able to deal. Are there contracts? Because he might not be able to just walk away so easily. He doesn't need this though, but he and Erik need to talk. Erik needs to show some of his cards..

 

Great chapter as always HB.

  • Like 1

Share this comment


Link to comment

I was thinking: you know (or maybe you don't?) about how porn stars have social media accounts and do interviews about their latest movie? If this series is doing as well online as it seems, wouldn't they be expected to do porn press interviews and post pics and comments to up the audience even more? That would allow you to add an extra layer of tension, plus give the guys ways to get to know each other even more ...

  • Like 1

Share this comment


Link to comment

If Geemeedee is correct I hope Eric handles that side of their success. He's the extrovert who likes to talk. I'm glad Ryan managed to escape, he probably needs a few sessions with his punch bag before he can face his lover. Because that's what happened, right? Roman and Everett faded away and Ryan and Eric made love. Hopefully, Gary will also understand, this can't go on. Not even if Ryan gets to be the top. Still loving the story, Hudson.

Share this comment


Link to comment

The scenes, as hot as they are, continue to also heat up with emotion. Although we're learning more and more about Ryan's feelings and hesitations and deep desires, we're still not learning much about Erik in that regard. But there are hints (like him using Ryan's name in the filming) that give us hope that he possesses similar feelings. We shall see. Good ending with Ryan's decision that he is done with porn. Will be interesting to see how that plays out in the coming chapters, considering Erik will not be on the same page.

Share this comment


Link to comment

This chapter was different, just like the sex was different. The scene in the apartment was like... porno. Even though there was a kind of real moment without poppers when they used their own names, it all just felt sad. They seemed as far removed from themselves as was the high rise apartment from the living people in the streets down below. I would have rushed to leave too. I'm not sure Ryan will survive, he seems broken and falling apart. His one hope is that it was the last time and somehow he can glue the pieces back together.

Share this comment


Link to comment
On 03/06/2017 12:45 PM, Valkyrie said:

Great chapter. Ryan definitely needs to be done with porn. I just hope he comes to term with his emotions before he pushes Erik away for good.

Thanks, Val! :)

Share this comment


Link to comment
On 03/06/2017 01:00 PM, Defiance19 said:

I have a feeling that even if Ryan didn't have feelings for Erik, he still wouldn't be able to deal. Are there contracts? Because he might not be able to just walk away so easily. He doesn't need this though, but he and Erik need to talk. Erik needs to show some of his cards..

 

Great chapter as always HB.

Lucky for Ryan, that was the last contracted scene :) Convenient, no? And yes, I agree that Erik needs to open up more because there's stuff going on in his head that he's not sharing.

  • Like 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
On 03/06/2017 03:52 PM, Geemeedee said:

I was thinking: you know (or maybe you don't?) about how porn stars have social media accounts and do interviews about their latest movie? If this series is doing as well online as it seems, wouldn't they be expected to do porn press interviews and post pics and comments to up the audience even more? That would allow you to add an extra layer of tension, plus give the guys ways to get to know each other even more ...

That is a really great point! I do know about the social media account and completely forgot about them when I was writing this. Social media is probably not something Ryan would ever agree to do, it's not his style. But Erik maybe?? Something to keep in mind for future reference.

  • Like 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
On 03/07/2017 07:50 AM, Timothy M. said:

If Geemeedee is correct I hope Eric handles that side of their success. He's the extrovert who likes to talk. I'm glad Ryan managed to escape, he probably needs a few sessions with his punch bag before he can face his lover. Because that's what happened, right? Roman and Everett faded away and Ryan and Eric made love. Hopefully, Gary will also understand, this can't go on. Not even if Ryan gets to be the top. Still loving the story, Hudson.

Thanks so much! I'm glad you're loving the story :) And yes, I have a feeling Ryan is done done done with porn.

  • Like 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
On 03/07/2017 02:20 PM, MacGreg said:

The scenes, as hot as they are, continue to also heat up with emotion. Although we're learning more and more about Ryan's feelings and hesitations and deep desires, we're still not learning much about Erik in that regard. But there are hints (like him using Ryan's name in the filming) that give us hope that he possesses similar feelings. We shall see. Good ending with Ryan's decision that he is done with porn. Will be interesting to see how that plays out in the coming chapters, considering Erik will not be on the same page.

You're right, we haven't seen much of Erik's emotions to date. I assure you they're there, but I only realized they weren't well communicated to the reader a little after the fact. I'm working on ways to fix this now.

  • Like 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
On 03/09/2017 04:05 AM, William King said:

This chapter was different, just like the sex was different. The scene in the apartment was like... porno. Even though there was a kind of real moment without poppers when they used their own names, it all just felt sad. They seemed as far removed from themselves as was the high rise apartment from the living people in the streets down below. I would have rushed to leave too. I'm not sure Ryan will survive, he seems broken and falling apart. His one hope is that it was the last time and somehow he can glue the pieces back together.

It is porno. Actually, all of their sex scenes have been porno ;p But you're completely right, this one did feel different.

Share this comment


Link to comment

I feel there is a change in the air, a different feeling between the men from the 'play for pay' vibe there has been in previous shoots, suddenly, at least in Ryan's mind, the relationship with Eric has changed, progressed to … what? The entire atmosphere between them is different, but can Ryan adapt to that change? It is not going to be easy. An arrow wound, while it may not be deadly, is always painful, evenif it is from a tiny golden arrow from Cupid's bow. 

  • Like 1

Share this comment


Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..