Jump to content
    Marty
  • Author
  • 1,549 Words
  • 1,503 Views
  • 11 Comments
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 

Marty's Shorts and Flashes - 1. The Bench (Short)

Chapter Warnings: None (but some readers have told me this story appears to be unfinished)
Two young men sit on a bench in the south of France and discuss their plans for the coming night.

The two young men sat down on the concrete bench which looked out onto the Mediterranean. The sea was the same intense blue as the sky itself, making it almost impossible to distinguish the horizon. They seemed oblivious to the crowds of other holidaymakers who were strolling along the man-made footpath that led around this part of the Côte Bleue.

After maybe two whole minutes one of them turned to the other and simply asked:

“Well?”

“It’s the ideal spot.”

“You sure now? I don’t mind continuing if you’re not?”

“No, this is the spot. Honest. I know we’ve looked at so many all week, but this one is perfect.”

“Don’t feel I’d be upset if you suggest we keep looking. There’s more than a week of the holiday left. We can keep looking if you like.”

“Brian, this is perfect! If we were to look for another year I doubt we’d find anything better.”

“Okay. So it’s settled then? We’ll come back just after dark and bring the guitar with us. And maybe a flash lamp.”

“That’ll hardly be necessary. There's to be a full moon tomorrow night, so we’ll be able to see well enough tonight. But after dark sounds good to me. There shouldn't be as many people about by then.”

Brian reached across and squeezed his companion’s arm gently. “I’ll be here for you anyway, Mick,” he said softly. “And I’m sure Tom and Mary will come along if you ask them. But it’s up to you. Just say the word and we’ll leave you by yourself if that’s what you want.”

“No, that’s okay. I’d appreciate the three of you being here. Especially you. You're the only one that can play the guitar, anyway. And you’ve done so much for me this past while. I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

“You don’t need to. I’ve told you that often enough.”

“Maybe. It’s just that I keep thinking that but for you I might never have got the chance to do this. And you know how important it is to me…” His voice trailed off.

“Well I know it is important. I’m still not sure exactly why. But anything that makes you happy makes me happy too.”

Mick turned his eyes from the sea and looked into Brian’s eyes. He moved his hand slowly towards his friend’s thigh, stopping when it was just a few inches away and letting it rest palm downwards on the warm concrete.

“I don’t know how I can ever thank you,” he said softly.

“Stop it! I don’t want any thanks. I just want to see you happy.”

Mick suddenly jumped up off the bench and threw both his hands into the air. “I am happy!” he shouted. “I don’t think I’ve ever been happier in my life!” And, as if to demonstrate the fact, he grabbed Brian by the wrist, pulled him to his feet, and started dancing round in circles with him.

“God, you’re a fool at times you know,” Brian said between laughs. “You’re making a holy show of us. Two grown men dancing with each other in public. What must all these people think?”

“Ask me if I even care what they think.”

“Okay. Do you even care what they think?”

“Nope! Couldn’t care less! We’re on holiday, same as the most of them are.”

“And anyway we’re in France,” he continued. “Don’t the fellas kiss each other on the cheeks all the time over here? Sure, if they can do that we can dance with each other.”

He stopped dancing and leant the side of his face towards his companion in the manner he’d often see the locals do when they were greeting each other. Brian leaned in to give the greeting but, just as his lips were about to touch the proffered cheek, his companion sprang to one side and vaulted over the bench, shouting “Catch me if you can!” He proceeded to run round and round the bench as Brian joined in the madness of the moment and tried in vain to catch him.

Eventually the pair of them collapsed back onto the bench in fits of laughter.

“God, you’re a complete and utter fool you know,” Brian laughed as he gasped for breath.

“Sure and look who’s talking. If it’s not the king of fools himself. It wasn’t me who almost finished up in Amiens while driving from Cherbourg to Paris, now was it?” Mick managed to say through a fit of laughter.

“Maybe not. But remember who was actually holding the map on that trip. I still blame the navigator for that little faux pas.”

“There you go again. Trying to baffle me with French,” laughed Mick. “And anyway the map you gave me was in French as well. Sure, how do you expect a poor wee Irish country boy like me to understand French?”

“But you’re the one that’s supposed to know a little French! Sure, the rest of us hardly know a word of the language.”

“And I bet that’s the only reason I got dragged along on this trip in the first place,” teased Mick.

Mais oui. You don’t think it had anything to do with your charming personality or your natural good looks, do you?”

Qu’est-ce que c’est, mon cher? Vous dites que vous avez les ‘hottes’ pour moi?”

“Fuck you and your French!” laughed Brian.

Mick grinned seductively. “Wouldn’t you just love to?” he asked.

“Stop it, you tease!”

Mick looked downwards and pouted, pretending to look hurt at this last comment.

“No! I didn’t mean stop smiling. I meant stop teasing me.”

Smiling again at this comment, Mick looked up again and back out towards the sea. Brian followed his gaze and they both sat silently for a while, just drinking in the view. After maybe half a minute Brian turned his head and studied the smile on his friend’s face. Eventually, becoming aware of the fact that he was being stared at, Mick looked quizzically back.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

“Nothing at all. Apart from a smile. And it’s so good to see you smile. You don’t do it often enough, you know? And when you do you’re a different person. Your whole face lights up. Sure, no one could stay sad when you smile. You shine like a beacon. It lights up everyone around you.”

“I don’t know about that. I’ve not had a lot to smile about in my life." Mick said, and then paused for a moment.

"But things do seem to have improved somewhat this past few years," he continued. I’ll be twenty-one next birthday. Twenty-one years old…” he mused. “Hopefully the next twenty-one will be better than the first.”

Brian took Mick’s right hand. Holding it between both of his, he looked him directly in the eyes.

“It will,” he said, with conviction. “You’re the one in control of your destiny now. You’re a good person, Mick. You deserve happiness.”

“Come on,” said Mick, changing the subject. “Let’s get back to the cottage. Those two little lovebirds should have finished what they were left alone for by now. We can tell them the good news and make plans over dinner.”

“How they can do it in this heat is beyond me anyway,” replied Brian.

“You’re just jealous, I reckon,” teased Mick.

“I am not jealous! Well okay... maybe I am a little. If only because they’ve managed to get what I don't seem to be able to.”

Brian paused for a moment.

“If only…” he continued, looking first into Mick’s eyes and then down at the ground.

Mick knew exactly what Brian was trying to say. The trouble was he didn’t really know how to reply - or even if he should. It was a subject that had been brought more than just a few times recently. He inwardly sighed at the fact that he didn’t yet feel able to give his best friend - the friend who had given him so much over the past couple of years while asking so little in return - the one thing that he knew he wanted above all else.

“Tell you what,” Brian continued, deciding not to press the subject. “How about we just have a light dinner? We could stop in at the supermarket on the way back and buy some stuff for a barbecue. Now wouldn’t that be a great way to end the night?”

“Or to start it. We could have the food before I sing.”

“Sounds like a plan to me. Come on. Let's head back to the car and start getting things organised.”

On the walk back both of them were lost in their own private thoughts. Brian would look across at Mick every now and then and metaphorically bite his tongue to stop himself from bringing up the one subject that he knew he shouldn’t, no matter how desperately he wanted to. He knew that tonight was an important one for Mick, and sensed that it wouldn’t be right to spoil things by putting him under any unnecessary extra pressure.

Mick on the other hand was only vaguely aware of his friend’s concern. He was too busy thinking back over the first twenty years of his life...

Thanks for reading. What do you think? Does it even make sense? Is it too short? Too many unanswered questions? Load of rubbish? Something else you want to say? Let me know. :)
Copyright © 2019 Marty; All Rights Reserved.
  • Like 7
Stories posted in this category are works of fiction. Names, places, characters, events, and incidents are created by the authors' imaginations or are used fictitiously. Any resemblances to actual persons (living or dead), organizations, companies, events, or locales are entirely coincidental.
Note: While authors are asked to place warnings on their stories for some moderated content, everyone has different thresholds, and it is your responsibility as a reader to avoid stories or stop reading if something bothers you. 
You are not currently following this story. Be sure to follow to keep up to date with new chapters.

Recommended Comments

Chapter Comments

um.  the writing is good.  lots of sort of nothing happened, if that makes sense.  i'm very happy for them but i dont know why... so in that sense it is not a story... short stories i'm sure you know have a beginning, middle, climax and end.   This is sort of all beginning .... so left me unsatisfied.

  • Like 2
Link to comment

I liked it. Many moments in life have no real order to them, no purpose other than to dance playfully around things we'd like to talk about with friends of all kinds. Friends can have conversations that make no sense to an outside listener, and friends can say one thing and convey something else, entirely. Friends understand.

 

But I do agree completely with Mikiesboy that this is just a beginning, and definitely needs more. You've got the ball rolling - now let's see where it goes! :)

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
On 2/4/2019 at 11:13 PM, Mikiesboy said:

This is sort of all beginning .... so left me unsatisfied.

 

On 2/5/2019 at 5:13 AM, Geron Kees said:

But I do agree completely with Mikiesboy that this is just a beginning, and definitely needs more. You've got the ball rolling - now let's see where it goes!

 

Thanks for the comments, Tim and Geron. I did actually think long and hard before posting this story, and even attempted several times to write additional paragraphs at the end, if only to provide some sort of insight into Mick's life. I was not happy with the additional paragraphs, not matter how hard I tried with them. In the end I decided to finish it as I did, and perhaps leave the reader wondering. I understand your points, however, especially about being unsatisfied and the feeling that you wanted more. I'm not promising that I'll never leave readers feeling that way again (at least not in my flash or short stories), but I do promise to try not to in the next few entries.

  

This was only ever meant to be a short story. If it were part of a much longer story, then I would certainly have filled in much more detail. However, as far as I am concerned this short is now finished, and I am not intending writing any more about Brian and Mick. :) 

 

Edited by Marty
  • Like 1
Link to comment

I have a place where i post vignettes, parts of things, which may or not lead somewhere. They don't have to, but i wouldn't call this piece a story, because it simply isn't. A vignette, a snap shot.. certainly and those can be entertaining and worth reading. But a story is a story... These short pieces have value but should be posted as such ... letting the reader know that there likely won't be more not matter how much they beg!!  :)   i did enjoy it, but you asked questions, which i answered. If you'd said, Do you like this little snap shot?   i'd have said yes i do, very much. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment

I enjoyed reading this, and you gave me a great sense of place and scene. It feels unfinished, as if there is much more to be said or explained. In that sense, I’d hope for more. 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
8 hours ago, Marty said:

 

 

Thanks for the comments, Tim and Geron. I did actually think long and hard before posting this story, and even attempted several times to write additional paragraphs at the end, if only to provide some sort of insight into Mick's life. I was not happy with the additional paragraphs, not matter how hard I tried with them. In the end I decided to finish it as I did, and perhaps leave the reader wondering. I understand your points, however, especially about being unsatisfied and the feeling that you wanted more. I'm not promising that I'll never leave readers feeling that way again (at least not in my flash or short stories), but I do promise to try not to in the next few entries.

  

This was only ever meant to be a short story. If it were part of a much longer story, then I would certainly have filled in much more detail. However, as far as I am concerned this short is now finished, and I am not intending writing any more about Brian and Mick. :) 

 

Well...gosh. When you say it that way, what can I say but...okay! :)

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
On 2/9/2019 at 11:12 PM, Parker Owens said:

I enjoyed reading this, and you gave me a great sense of place and scene [...]

 

Thanks, Parker! :) 

 

Quote

[...] It feels unfinished, as if there is much more to be said or explained. In that sense, I’d hope for more. 

 

It felt unfinished to me when I wrote it (see my previous comment), but it's not very likely that I shall write any more about these two characters, unless one day I decide to incorporate this piece into a much longer novel that has been in the back of my mind for a while now. I wouldn't hold my breath, though... 

Edited by Marty
  • Like 2
Link to comment

It really is about things unsaid, as @Geron Kees touched upon, kind of ephemeral conversations where something is talked around, which in this case was the feelings Brian had for Mick. Those feelings were echoed by the relationship between Tom and Mary, but Mick, gave the impression that he was not gay and so it would be unrequited love. They were happy, yet sad, Mick was wrapped up in himself and Brian was there, doting. There was actually an awful lot in a short chapter.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
23 hours ago, Talo Segura said:

It really is about things unsaid, as @Geron Kees touched upon, kind of ephemeral conversations where something is talked around, which in this case was the feelings Brian had for Mick. Those feelings were echoed by the relationship between Tom and Mary, but Mick, gave the impression that he was not gay and so it would be unrequited love. They were happy, yet sad, Mick was wrapped up in himself and Brian was there, doting. There was actually an awful lot in a short chapter.

 

Thanks for the kind and insightful comments, @Talo Segura :) 

 

Almost everything you say about the two main characters is correct. However, when I was writing it Mick was definitely not straight in my mind. He does make reference at one point about not having had much to smile about in the past. Maybe something in his past is preventing himself from getting into a relationship just at the moment? 

 

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment

There is a lot said and more unsaid, I feel that it's done in a way that draws you in. The fact that there is no real end may be a disappointment to some but that in itself also says a lot. As I see it there could be many different endings to this short but left open it lets the reader to create there own, for me I can see the feelings that Brian has for Mick but it's not about that it's leading up to Mick's own way of saying goodbye to the past and letting go, by doing that he can see a future and live in it. I may be wrong but that's my interpretation, I like it including the open ending.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
On 9/22/2019 at 4:44 PM, Mancunian said:

There is a lot said and more unsaid, I feel that it's done in a way that draws you in. The fact that there is no real end may be a disappointment to some but that in itself also says a lot. As I see it there could be many different endings to this short but left open it lets the reader to create there own, for me I can see the feelings that Brian has for Mick but it's not about that it's leading up to Mick's own way of saying goodbye to the past and letting go, by doing that he can see a future and live in it. I may be wrong but that's my interpretation, I like it including the open ending.

The part I have emboldened and underlined is what was in my mind when I was writing this piece. Well spotted, @Mancunian! :thumbup:

That's what the final paragraph was meant to convey, and I was also alluding to that fact when Mick said the following in one of his replies: “I don’t know about that. I’ve not had a lot to smile about in my life."

I'm glad you weren't upset by the open ending, as well. :) 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
View Guidelines

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Newsletter

    Sign Up and get an occasional Newsletter.  Fill out your profile with favorite genres and say yes to genre news to get the monthly update for your favorite genres.

    Sign Up
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Our Privacy Policy can be found here: Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue..