Connor took the first hit off the bong. It was smoother than the blunt at Daryl’s and he was glad he had it. Since he was about to initiate a first timer and all. “Fuck,” he cursed as he let out an enormous cloud of smoke.

M coughed a little and waved his hand in front of his face to disperse the cloud hanging between them. “What are you doing?”

“Smoking,” Connor grinned at the little blond. He was so cute today. He was wearing a fitted gray t-shirt and skinny jeans that actually fit him. He looked nice.

“Do I have to do that?” M asked and Connor shrugged.

“It feels nice.” He put the bong down on the floor between them. “But I’m not going to force you.”

M glanced at the bong, but simply crossed his legs and turned towards Connor. “I feel nice already. Now that you’re back.”

Connor smiled.

M looked at him carefully. His eyes were so vibrant green. The afternoon sunlight blazing through the window behind them highlighted the soft ring of brown just around the irises. Connor stared deeply into those eyes, entranced.

M blinked and looked away. “Um…” he started nervously. “Are you alright?”

“I’m perfectly fine.” And then Connor had to ruin it with a laugh. Fuck it. He picked up the bong again and held his Bic to the bowl. He took another rip, watching the water bubble inside the chamber.

The smoke built inside and Connor let off the flame. He took all the smoke into his lungs and let it burn in the back of his throat. When he released it, he turned and pushed the smoke towards the armchair. The armchair wasn’t offended. It didn’t wave a hand and scowl at all the smoke. Connor grinned at it. It wasn’t pretty and spotless like Beth’s stuff had been; it was comfortable and lived in. He very much preferred the comfort of his trailer to the luxuries of a mansion.

“What exactly does weed do?” M asked after a moment.

“I don’t know, it makes you happy, I guess,” Connor said. “It makes you say things you wouldn’t normally say and do things that are kinda dumb. It makes you want to eat a lot, too. They call it the ‘munchies’.”

“Who’s they?”

“The world,” Connor grinned. “Lots of people smoke weed. It’s a drug and drugs are bad, but weed is the least harmful. I guess. I’ve only ever tried one other and I only did it once.” The memory of his first and only acid trip made Connor shiver with anxiety. “Everything was fucked up. I won’t do that again.”

M was looking at him like he’d sprouted a third eye in the middle of his forehead. Connor felt kind of stupid and he put the bong back on the floor.

“So, that stuff makes you talkative?” M asked.

Connor glanced up again. The boy was staring at him hard. “I guess.”

M opened his mouth, his lips started to form a word and then he thought again and closed it.

Connor stared at M’s mouth, moist from his tongue continually wetting it. It was beautiful.

“Can you tell me why you have such a problem with kissing boys?” the boy asked slowly and Connor gave the question a moment of serious contemplation. He totally forgot he’d been trying to get M inebriated so he could grill his little brain. Of course, they’d already attempted this conversation, but Connor was really liking the way M was looking at him today. Those green eyes were catastrophic. They shone with innocence and affection he just wanted to make M happy, with an intensity that kind of scared him.

“Well,” he started and without thinking he took up the bong again. “My dad started me off on the wrong foot. He’s a real fag hater and I guess he was trying to pass his prejudices on to me. Whenever I think about being gay, my dad and all his hatred and anger comes to mind. I don’t even want to think about him. It’s just so ingrained, everything he ever said to me.”

M’s cute little mouth turned into a pout. “So, you don’t like your dad?”

“Hate him,” Connor said without reserve. “I try to stay as far away as possible, but he’s still in the trailer park in town.”

“You never see him?”

“Never,” Connor said. “Well, he was in the hospital a couple months ago with alcohol poisoning and he had me down as an emergency contact. That was the first time I’d seen him in a couple years.”

“That’s sad.”

“My dad is pretty sad. He beat my mom until she left us. Then he switched to beating me,” Connor said. “He was always so full of anger.”

M’s pout deepened.

“Life sucked when I lived with my dad,” Connor said offhandedly. Everything felt distant, almost like he were discussing someone else’s childhood. The weed softened the blow of the disheartening memory, and M wanted to know, so Connor continued. “The kids at school weren’t very nice to me either. They just made everything worse.”

“But school looks like so much fun on TV! Everyone has friends and they make jokes all day. They still manage to learn something, though,” M said smartly.

“That’s TV school,” Connor snorted. “It’s a huge sugar-coated lie.”

“Dads on TV are nice too. They give you hugs and teach you stuff about life,” M said softly and Connor laughed at him.

“You are so innocent, it’s really cute,” he said. “But I’m living proof that not all dads are great guys and that school is basically the seventh ring of hell.”

M’s little face fell. The sunny blond looked almost as horrified as he had when Connor had come through the door earlier after their run-ins with the creepy guy in black.

“Ok, seriously,” Connor sat up and grabbed the bong. “I can’t continue this story until you try some. Your face is bumming me out.”

“My face?” M looked even more horrified if that were possible.

Connor huffed. “You can’t keep making that face! That one!”

M paused, looking pouty and upset.

Connor laughed at him. “We’ve got to get you fucked up.”

M looked suspiciously down at the bong. “That thing won’t make me do something I’ll regret, right?”

“What would you regret doing?”

M nervously brushed his hair out of his eyes. “Telling you more than I should.”

Connor didn’t know if M would be safe from that. But he really didn’t care. Connor was the only one telling ‘more than he should’. He never talked about stuff like this.

“Trust me. You’ll be fine,” he said.

M sighed heavily. “I want you to keep talking. But… maybe I should relax with you. I don’t think I’ll like it but—”

“Just let me show you how. I think you’ll like it,” Connor said, eagerly positioning the piece between them on the couch. There wasn’t tons of space, but there was enough for the bong. He quickly ran through the basics with M, then had the blond put his mouth on the piece.

“When the smoke builds up inside the chamber, you need to suck it into your lungs,” Connor said. “It’ll tickle your throat and make you want to cough, but try not too. Hold it a few seconds first then let it go.”

M mumbled something, but Connor ignored him. “Ok, I’m going to light it. All you have to do is blow, wait for smoke to collect, and then I’ll help you with the smoke part.”

M’s hair had fallen back into his eyes as he held himself in the correct position. His gentle hands were curled nervously on his knees and then his gaze flickered up and caught Connor staring. Neither of them looked away. M watched Connor with such trust and endearment, it was starting to drive Connor insane with desire.

Suddenly, he remembered he’d been trying to light up the bong. M was waiting patiently, having no idea Connor was eyeing him with lust... Connor dropped the staring match and lit the Bic. “Go,” he said and M cautiously blew on the mouth piece. “A little harder,” Connor advised and M sent the water inside boiling.

Smoke collected, and Connor let off the fire. “OK. Breathe normally.”

M sat back and made and took an audible breath.

Connor covered the piece and waited for him to recover. “Suck the smoke in now. Remember, try not to cough.”

M bent and put his mouth on the glass. He took maybe half of the collected smoke into his lungs then drew back with his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk.

Connor covered laughed. “Try to swallow it,” he instructed and M struggled, but he made a loud gulping sound and his cheeks unpuffed.

“There. Hold it in for a minute.”

The blond’s eyes began tearing, but he followed instructions. Connor quickly inhaled the last of M’s smoke and watched the boy. Just waiting for him to run out of air. After a couple seconds, M started coughing. He let the smoke out in an inelegant bluster, wiping at his teary eyes. Connor did the complete opposite. He made a couple smoke rings with his exhale, showing off.

“There. That wasn’t so bad was it?” he asked.

M continued to cough. He hadn’t even seen Connor’s cool smoke rings.. “I—that hurt—my throat!”

“Just wait for it. That was the best we could expect. Since you’ve never done anything before.”

Looking a bit peeved, M hit him on the thigh and Connor laughed again. He’d never had a smoking buddy that made him feel so warm and happy. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d smoked and had this much fun.

“I have too done stuff!” M cried, once he’d finally caught his breath. He hit Connor’s other thigh. “You have no idea the places I’ve been. Or the things I’ve seen.”

“Then why don’t you tell me.”

“Noooooo! This is your story time! Tell me more about school.”

“But I’d rather talk about you,” Connor said and it wasn’t even a lie. Fuck his shitty past. The little blond in front of him was hiding deep secrets and that was so stupidly unfair.

“Too bad. I can’t tell you an-y-thing,” M stretched out his last word like the little dramatical dick he was so fond of being.

Fuck this little brat. Smiling, Connor gave him the middle finger.

M giggled like a schoolgirl and latched onto Connor’s finger. “This feels nice,” he said.

“I told you so, asshole.”

“Fuck you,” M said pleasantly.

Connor stared at the boy in total disbelief. That was the first time he’d ever heard M use profanity.

M seemed to pick up on Connor’s amazement and he smiled brilliantly. “I told you,” he said. “You teach me something new every day.”

“I bet Hannah would be so jealous.”

“I don’t care about her,” M said. “Tell me more about you.”

“Take another hit and maybe I will.”

M glared at Connor, but he roughly grabbed the bong and positioned his mouth over the piece again and Connor lit him up. M did a much better job this time. When he had a good lungful, the blond sat back on the couch and pushed the bong away. He held his breath for a moment, then closed his eyes and tipped his head back. He let the smoke out so it swirled over his head.

He was beautiful in that moment. The sunlight behind him highlighted the smoke as it twisted in intricate patterns around him. His blond hair was a gleaming halo and his skin was warmed and golden.

Connor was attracted to him and also strangely disturbed. This was probably wrong, too, on a ton of levels. He shouldn’t be getting such a cute, innocent boy wasted, but he was. “I don’t even remember what I was talking about,” he said, breaking the silence.

M’s eyes opened lazily. “We were talking about why you won’t kiss me.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Right.”

“It has something to do with your dad and the mean kids at school,” M said cheerfully.

“Well, like I said before, growing up with my dad was horrible. Besides the homophobic stuff, he didn’t feed me much so I was scrawny and sick all the time. He rarely paid the water bill, so I hardly ever showered or washed my clothes. He beat me up all the time, and I was desperate to hide the bruises… I was a miserable little wretch,” Connor sneered, angry at the weak and pitiful memory of his younger self. “The kids at school noticed everything that was wrong with me, of course,” he continued. “They thought I was trash.”

M's green eyes glistened with emotion. He was speechless.

“As miserable as I was though, I always kinda thought I deserved it—”

“What?!” M cried at once, breaking his brief silence. “Why!”

Connor shrugged uncomfortably. “I mean, I was having…feelings…for some of the other guys in my class. My dad hated me and my classmates all thought I was a freak, maybe they somehow knew what I was dreaming about every night in my shitty little bedroom.”

M curiously tilted his head. “What were you dreaming about?”

Connor rolled his eyes and huffed. He had to explain everything.

“Oh. You mean…” M poorly covered a giggle with a hand. “You were dreaming about boys.”

Connor looked away in embarrassment.

It was quiet for a moment, but M wasn’t about to give up. “So, that’s why you won’t kiss me?”

“Well, there’s more to it than that,” Connor sighed. He couldn’t believe he was about to tell this story… “When I started high school, a new kid moved to town,” he started. “His name was Rick and he was instantly the most popular kid in our grade. He had lots of money and everybody loved him for it. Everyone wanted to hang out with Rick so they could try out his awesome pool and hang out in his huge house. He was pretty good looking, too. For a 14 year old, anyway. The girls basically followed him in groups.”

“And of course, Rick started picking on me like everyone else did,” Connor grunted. “I was the poor kid. The kid with no friends, who wore dirty clothes that never fit… He and his gang of friends would tear into me. They thought it was so funny calling me names and pushing me around. They’d torment me almost every day. I can still hear their laughter ringing in my ears…”

M carefully placed his hand on Connor’s thigh. “You know I wouldn’t laugh at you, right? Not like that. I would never make fun of you or hurt you in any way.”

Connor gingerly touched M’s fingers. They were pale but warm and soft. He had a pretty set of hands…

“Are you okay?” M asked softly and Connor blinked, distracted by thoughts from the past. He’d been such a sad, lonely, and pathetic kid when he’d lived in the trailer park with his dad. He’d been helpless, something he’d worked hard to remedy in the years since leaving. It was painful to relive this story, but at the same time, Connor couldn’t stop himself from continuing.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Connor muttered. “So, like I was saying, Rick was an asshole and I was terrified of him. That’s the way things were.”

“Poor little Connor,” M bemoaned.

“This went on for the first few months of school. Then, one day after class, Rick cornered me and got me alone. I was just waiting for him to start being a jerk to me. I thought maybe he’d try to hurt me so I was gearing up for a fight, but then he apologized. He told me the other kids didn’t like me, which I already knew, and that they pushed him to be mean to me. I thought it was a joke at first but from then on, whenever Rick caught me alone, he was nice. Rick thought maybe we could be friends.”

“Oh,” M smiled. “Well, that was cool of him.”

“Yeah,” Connor said neutrally. “But I didn’t understand why someone who looked like a million dollars would want to be friends with me. Someone who was trash.”

“You’re not trash,” M said softly, his smile fading.

Connor shrugged. “Rick was perfect. He had a perfect smile, perfect hair. He wore the nicest clothes and was used to the best. I on the other hand, was used to absolute shit. In everything. I was so confused as to why he’d even bother to get near me, but Rick did what he wanted. And he continued to talk to me whenever he happened to find me alone. He was still a dick when the other kids were around, but I just ended up hating them more and thinking he was this great hero.”

“Did he ever stop being mean to you?”

Connor rubbed a hand over his eyes. He didn’t know how much he should say. He didn’t even know why he’d started retelling this dumb crap. Rick ended up being one of the most embarrassing things that had ever happened to him.

“Connor?”

Well, in for a penny, in for a pound. Connor decided to just finish the fucking story.

“Rick came to me one day at the end of class. He said he’d figured out a way we could be friends. He gave me a slip of paper and it was an address. It was up in the hills, in the nicer part of town. He said I could come over anytime I wanted after school. That we would have fun. He promised it would be fun.”

M made a little sound of pleasure and Connor glanced in his direction. M’s eyes were shining with joy and Connor quickly looked away. Stupid M. The little idiot somehow thought this was going to be a good story.

“Did you go to his house?”

“Of course I did,” Connor said. “I wanted to see what was so awesome about his place that the other boys talked about it like it was a legend.”

“I was afraid I’d run into the other kids from school, but I decided to risk it. He’d invited me over and said I could come any time. So, as soon as I got off the bus that day, I grabbed my bike and rode up to the hills.”

“Did you have fun?” M asked hopefully.

“More than that,” Connor said. “I got to his place and was literally floored by how nice it was. It was this huge house with lots of room to run around. When I knocked on the door, this pretty lady came out to greet me. She introduced herself as Rick’s mom and she was so nice. She didn’t even seem to notice my clothes were dirty. She let me right in, saying Rick had been expecting me.”

“Then what?”

“Then we had fun,” Connor said. “He took me down to the game room and it was basically an arcade. He had tons of games for us to double team. We shot up zombies. We raced cars. We played air hockey. And then his mom called us up for dinner and I don’t remember what we ate, but it was the best food I’ve ever tasted.”

“That sounds awesome,” M said beaming.

“It was. I came back the next day and the next. We tried out his pool. He even let me borrow some swimming trunks. We watched movies on his huge screen TV. We played with his Nerf guns in the backyard for hours. And his mom would always feed us dinner. And it was always good.”

“So, was he your friend?”

“No,” Connor said bitterly. “We had fun after school for two weeks, maybe three.”

“Aww!” M’s bottom lip protruded. “What happened? If you had so much fun, why couldn’t you be friends.”

“Because I was right the first time. This was all a joke. It had always been a joke,” he said.

“How was it a joke?”

Connor sighed. “I came over one day and Rick answered the door himself. He led me inside, explaining that his mom wasn’t home. She was out to lunch with some of the neighbors or something. His dad was never home. He was always at work. I’d only seen him maybe once in all the time I’d been at his house.”

“Anyway, we went up to Rick’s room. He had lots of board games there and we started playing Clue. I was really getting into the game, having fun with what I thought was my new best friend, when all of a sudden Rick said he was bored.”

“He put the game away, right in the middle of it, and went to lay on his bed. I thought he was going to sleep and thought I’d done something wrong, but then he sat up and looked at me and it was obvious he had an idea. He said he had something that was way better than playing games.”

“What?”

“Rick jumped up and told me to follow him. We went down to the game room. There was a loaded bar down there, but I’d never paid it any attention. Rick said we should get drunk.”

“I was reluctant at first. I mean, my dad was a terrible drunk. I was scared what the alcohol would do to me. But Rick was persistent.”

“What does drunk mean?” M asked innocently.

“It’s a bit like being high,” Connor said. “You do and say things you normally wouldn’t because you feel good and relaxed.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Connor ruffled a hand through his hair. “So Rick got me to start drinking with him. We did shots. It was the first time I’d ever drank before, so the alcohol hit me hard.”

“Rick was being so nice to me. He was so beautiful, too, and I just wanted to touch him. Like I did every night in my dreams,” Connor went on, gazing down at the bong as he admitted his stupidity. “I should’ve have done it, but Rick had won me over. When Rick took another shot, some of the amber liquid trailed down his throat. I leaned in to wipe it away for him and suddenly, we were looking into each other’s eyes.”

M hummed with pleasure. “Then what?”

“I kissed him, of course,” Connor said. “Because I was stupid.”

“You weren’t stupid,” M said softly.” You couldn’t help it.”

“Yeah. Well, things happened pretty fast after that. I only remember some of it, actually. We kissed and kissed, and then suddenly, Rick was pushing me down to my knees. His erection was right in my face and there was no way I could resist. I sucked him off right there in the game room.”

M's eyes widened. Connor wondered if he even knew what he was talking about but he didn’t stop to explain.

“I ended up crashing for the night. I was too drunk to bike home,” Connor continued with a sigh. “We curled up in Rick’s bed together and jerked each other off. It was awesome.”

M smiled. “I wish we could do something like that.”

Connor shook his head. “I’m about to tell you why it didn’t work out for me. Maybe you should wait til I’m done.”

M pressed his smiling lips together, fighting to contain his good cheer. Connor rolled his eyes and went on with the last part of the story.

“I fell asleep in Rick’s arms that night. It was a one time occurrence. The sex happened a few more times though. Only in secret of course. We never talked about it, but neither of us wanted to come out. I mean, if my dad found out…”

“He’d beat you?”

“Worse. He’d skin me alive.”

Connor paused, remembering that afternoon years ago. He remembered watching Rick fall asleep. He remembered thinking Rick was the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen. In fact, he almost looked like M did now. Blond, soft-skinned, and in that moment between awake and sleep, Rick had embodied the same childlike innocence that colored M’s personality.

He felt sick all of a sudden. How had he not noticed the physical similarities between his first gay experience and the boy who tempted him to try again?

“Did you become lovers?”

“No. But I started to like him even more than I already did. And I think he knew that,” Connor said bitterly. “One day during school, Rick asked me to skip lunch and meet him in the boy’s bathroom. And I did, because at that point I was doing pretty much anything he wanted. I skipped lunch and I went to the bathroom we’d agreed upon. He was already there, waiting for me.”

“He pushed me into a stall and unzipped his pants. I did the same, because I knew what he wanted. He helped me push my pants all the way down but he kept his mostly up. We started touching each other. He put his mouth to my ear and I shivered because I thought he was going to lick me. He didn’t though. He whispered in my ear. ‘How’s it feel to be my little bitch?’ and he pulled his pants up quick, zipped them up and unlocked the stall behind him. He stepped out, just as a couple of his friends walked in the bathroom behind him. I was an idiot,” Connor grumbled. “I was so shocked, I didn’t know what to do. I just stood there as Rick and his friends started laughing. I pulled my pants up too, but it was too late. They’d seen me standing there with my dick out.”

“I wonder how many times this freak’s been hiding out in here,’ Rick said, pulling a pack of cigarettes I’d never seen before out of his back pocket. He started passing smokes around to his friends. They were all still laughing, but it seemed like this was some sort of regular thing. ‘I heard this weird noise when I was waiting for you guys and this is what I found.’“

“That’s what he said?” M asked.

“Yep. It was a fucking set up. I don’t know if he’d even liked me touching him, but it didn’t matter. He’d used everything we’d ever did together to make a joke out of me and it was a good one too. By the end of the day, everyone in our grade was talking about how I was in love with Rick and how I liked to spy on him and jerk off.”

“Why didn’t you tell them the truth?”

“Because nobody cared,” Connor said. “They all wanted to think I was a freak. They all wanted to think I was weird and fucked up. They all hated me.”

The two of them fell into silence. Connor glared at nothing in particular, but he could feel M’s eyes on him.

“So, you won’t kiss me because another boy already ruined it.”

“I guess,” Connor said.

“You know I’m not going to do that to you, right?” M said slowly. “This isn’t a joke.”

“I don’t know that,” Connor said simply. “Why can’t you tell me anything about yourself? I don’t even know where you came from. For all I know, this could be another set up. Another joke. Another way to make Connor Flynn look like a big old faggot.”

M blinked rapidly a few times. “I’m M. I’m your friend. And who would I embarrass you in front of? You’re the only one I know.”

“And I’m just supposed to believe that?” Connor snapped. “Who is that guy in the black suit? Why is he trying to find you? He knows your real name, Michael.”

Connor bit his tongue as soon as he’d said the name. He waited for M to slump to the ground, shaking in the throes of another seizure. And the boy did slump a little, back against the couch. But he didn’t fall. His eyes didn’t roll up in his head.

“That is not my name,” M said, meeting Connor’s eyes head-on. “And I want to kiss you because I like you. There’s no other reason.”

“Who’s looking for you?” Connor insisted. “Who called me at work and asked about you? I saw the man in black too, M. He scared the fuck out of me.”

M bit his lip. “I don’t know.”

Connor sighed and wiped a weary hand across his face. Whatever M’s secret was, he was pretty sure it wasn’t to make a laughingstock out of him.

“Well, now you know my secret,” Connor muttered after a moment of silent reflection. “I’m a closeted homo. I’ve been denying my feelings for years because I’m sick to death of being the butt to someone’s joke.”

“It’s better now. Isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Connor said. “But now I’m here with you. And I know nothing about you. It’s pretty strange, M. Call me stupid, but I’m feeling pretty vulnerable.”

“I’m sorry,” the blond said, his beautiful eyes locked onto Connor’s. “And I’m sorry for everything bad you had to go through. But the reason I can’t tell you everything isn’t because this is a joke. I can promise you that.”

Connor wasn’t one to simply accept people’s words, but in this case, he desperately wanted to believe M. The boy was gorgeous and sweet and Connor liked having him around. He hadn’t even minded telling M his biggest secret.

He wanted to believe that everything would be ok...

“How about I make us something to eat,” he said after a minute. “And how about you find us something to watch on TV.”

M perked up. “What are you going to make us?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out,” Connor said.

“Ok!” M bounced off the couch, grabbing the remote off the television. He flicked it on and Connor, smiling at him as he left the room, went to make something for them to eat.

 

***

The rest of the night was spent eating cheesy fries on the couch and smoking more weed. They watched a couple TV movies and chatted about happy things.

The night wound down pleasantly. Connor felt warm and sleepy, filled with cheesy fries and M’s contagious laughter, but when a commercial for dog food came on, M just about lost his shit.

“That doggy is so adorable! Look how hungry he is!” M cried. The dog on TV was doing backflips for the advertised food. “Can a dog really do that? Oh, I wish we had a dog!”

“Can a dog do a backflip?” Connor laughed. “Let me think about it… uh, no.”

M stuck his tongue out. “Beth said you could train a dog to do anything. I bet my dog would do flips like that when I bring him some Kibbles and Bits.”

Connor rolled his eyes.

M blabbed about dogs for the next half hour. They missed the movie, some overplayed 90’s comedy, but neither of them were paying much attention anyway. He just listened to the boy talk.

M sounded like an enthusiastic 5 year old, but after all the strange shit the two of them had been going through lately, maybe a watchdog wasn’t such a bad idea. Connor started to consider the idea as M’s comments slowed and the pauses between them because longer. M trailed off near the end of the movie and when Connor glanced at him, he found M was fast asleep.

The boy had wedged himself right up against Connor’s side, he had his legs tucked under his butt and his head hung to the side. It looked uncomfortable.

Connor got up carefully and went to turn off the TV, then he went around the room turning off lights. When the room was dark, he came back to find M slumped against the armrest and he smiled at the silly boy, then gently scooped him up into his arms.

M muttered and his eyes danced erratically under his soft eyelids.

Connor touched the boy reverently as he laid him flat on the couch. He made sure M’s head was pillowed and then he covered him with the throw blankets. M’s face was peaceful and sweet. Connor thought about kissing him now, while M was asleep and unaware. He only had one gay kiss under his belt. Rick had never kissed him again, after the first time. He wondered what it would feel like to kiss M… He placed his fingers over his own mouth, pressing them into the soft skin.

It felt like he stood there forever, dreaming about love and kisses as he stared at the most tempting mouth he’d ever seen in his life. He was too fearful to go for it though. He grabbed his bong up and headed to the bedroom.

Connor lit up once he was laid out in bed. The weed had been pleasant and there was enough left for another few nights of relaxation. He zoned out for a while, thinking about random shit. The man in black hovered at the edge of his thoughts, and he remembered M’s childish pleads for a dog. As much as he hated the idea, M needed protection when Connor was gone and Hannah just wasn’t a good option. Thinking he’d Google some dog listings in the area, he fished his cell phone out of his back pocket.

There were a couple missed calls from Hannah and seeing the girl’s name on the screen reminded him of earlier. When he’d called her out of fear, as the mysterious man in black not only stalked him, but transported himself several blocks at a time to do so.

Connor’s flesh prickled with goosebumps.

It was kind of late, but he called Hannah back anyway. He was suddenly feeling very much alone.

She answered on the second ring. “Hey Connor.” She sounded like she was in the middle of laughing.

“Hey.”

“Hold on a sec, I was taking a break from all the lesson planning.”

Connor heard her muffle the phone. She was talking to someone in the background, but Connor couldn’t pick out any words. She was back in a few seconds though.

“So, I got your message. What’s going on?”

Connor sank back into his bed. “Who were you talking to?”

“Grace. We were comparing notes. It got a little off topic though,” she said with a laugh.

Connor vaguely remembered that Grace was one of Hannah’s roomies. A fellow teaching major. “That’s cool.”

“Hey, are you alright? Your message sounded weird. I thought something was wrong.”

“Something weird happened today,” Connor said and he then he hesitated. “I went grocery shopping this morning. I left M at home to watch TV and to read his baby book—”

“Oh, it’s not a baby book. It’s first level reading. How’s it coming along? Did he finish the first one?”

“I don’t know, Hannah.” Connor fiddled with the pocket zipper on his cargos. “Anyways, I left him here alone. I did that the other night when I worked and he seemed fine with it. But when I came back after shopping, he was nowhere to be found. I yelled his name and shit and he eventually skulked out of the bathroom.”

“Ok?”

“M said someone was here,” he said. “A guy in a black suit with a hat and sunglasses came to the door when I was out. The guy was looking for M.”

“Really?” Hannah sounded a bit more interested now.

“M was scared. The guy started pounding on the door, asking to be let in and M didn’t know what to do, so he ran and hid in the bathroom.”

“So, the guy at the door was looking for trouble?”

“I don’t know. The door isn’t made of titanium. He could have come in if he really wanted too,” Connor said. “What I wanted to tell you though was that when M was hiding in the bathroom, he had another seizure.”

“What brought it on this time?”

“The man at the door said M’s name. His full name.”

Hannah was silent.

“He called him Michael Thomas.”

“Wow.” She was quiet for a couple seconds. “I wonder who that guy was?”

“I don’t know, but if I see him again, I’m going to ask him some questions, that’s for sure.”

“What do you mean again?”

Connor stopped fiddling with the zipper. Fuck, Hannah was stupidly observant. “I think I’ve seen this guy before,” he said. “Of course, I can only go off M’s description, but the other night when I was out on delivery, I saw a guy standing across the street. He was just standing there, staring at me. He was wearing black, too, and he had a hat on... I saw him again today when I was out. Same guy. Black suit and a hat. He was doing the same thing. He was staring at me.”

“That’s weird.”

“Some guy called me at work. He knew my full name and he asked me about my housemate. I hung up before he could say anymore.”

“Huh.”

“I’m kind of freaked out,” Connor said.

“I’ll bet. Sounds really strange.”

“Do you think you could research that name?” Connor pressed. “Michael Thomas?”

“Of course I will,” Hannah said. “You’ll have to bear with me though. I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment.”

“I understand.”

“I’ll get right on it first thing tomorrow. I’m going to finish up my lesson planning for the night and hit the hay. I’ve been at it all day.”

“Sure… just… could you call me if you find anything?”

“Of course, silly,” Hannah giggled. “But keep in touch, ok? You’ve got me a little worried now.”

“Pick up your phone next time, then,” Connor joked.

“I don’t even know how I missed your call. My phone’s been sitting on my desk all day.”

A cold spike of fear shot through Connor’s belly. He remembered the weird static that had interrupted the call he’d been trying to make to Hannah earlier, when he’d been staring the man in black down. Maybe he should tell her about the static, too.

“Well, I’ve got to go. I need to get back to this lesson plan.”

“Alright.”

“Talk to you soon. Love you!”

Hannah hung up before Connor was forced to respond. He was relieved, but once he was alone, without anyone to interrupt his thoughts, the feeling rapidly fizzled and died.

His mind raced. It ran over the unusual events that had happened today, the anxiety building inside him.

What the fuck was he thinking? Someone was stalking them, and looking to get M alone and unprotected and he thought some weed would fix it? The dog idea came to mind again and Connor loaded up Craigslist to see what was available.

After passing up a few posts advertising puppies and a couple more for fancy purebreds, Connor came across the perfect dog. The post was 5 days old and it was kind of long, so he skimmed through it.

There was an old woman in a neighboring town with a 6 year old mutt. The old woman spent half the damned post explaining how she was moving to California with her daughter, followed up with the information that the daughter’s landlord didn’t accept pets. She followed it up by saying the dog good with children, very protective and loyal to a fault though, and Connor scrambled to email the owner. It was just icing on the cake that the woman wasn’t asking for a rehoming fee. The dog was free to a good home.

He wasn’t expecting a reply this close to midnight, but as he put his phone away, plugging it in on the floor beside the bed, his phone lit up with a notification.

Are you free tomorrow at noon? You could come by and see the dog. We’ll see if it’s a good fit.

Connor sent off a confirmation, pleased with his own bright idea. Holy shit. M was going to lose his mind. He was going to be so excited… Connor and the old lady quickly ironed out a few details before calling it a night. He plugged his phone back into the wall and stretched out on the bed.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting.

***

“Thanks,” M said as he inspected his legs. He gingerly touched the band-aids Connor had just put over his raw knees.

“Don’t mess with that. Another week and it’ll be healed.”

“Sorry.” M pulled his pants back down over his legs and sat primly on the edge of the couch. They had just returned from another nature wall and M had complained that his bandages were irritating him. Connor had just switched them for much smaller, neater band-aids.

Connor stood up, towering over the little blond on the couch. “Do you want breakfast? We’ve got to go in 40 minutes.”

“Breakfast would be nice,” M said pleasantly, eyeing Connor with curiosity. “But where are we going?”

“You’ll see. It’s a surprise.”

M’s green eyes sparkled with interest, but Connor wasn’t giving in. He couldn’t wait to see the look on M’s face when he figured out what the surprise was.

Connor got them bowls of cereal and they watched the news while they ate. M kept glancing in his direction, but Connor carefully averted his eyes each time. He felt like M was fucking trying to read his mind or something! Fuck that! No eye contact! Connor, for the first time ever, actually wanted to surprise someone. M wasn’t going to ruin this. Not even with imagined mind reading!

They finished eating and M tried to take the bowls into the kitchen for a wash.

“Just leave them. We’ll get to it later.”

“Are you sure? It’ll only take a minute.”

“C’mon. We’ve got to go.”

M left the bowls in the sink and followed Connor out to the car. “Where are we going?”

“Do you know what a surprise is?” Connor chuckled as they got buckled in. He started the Honda up and turned around in the gravel.

“Yes.”

“Well, then stop asking questions or it won’t be a surprise anymore.”

M pouted and Connor laughed at him. He was wholeheartedly enjoying this game. This was a much better joke than the last one. The one that had scuffed up M’s knees and that had caused another seizure. This was going to be fun.

They drove through town at a leisurely pace. Connor was relaxed for once and he watched M peer out his window, entranced by the view. The boy vibrated with energy and curiosity and it hit Connor just then, as they turned down the old lady’s street, that he was lucky.

His upbringing had been miserable. His social life in college had been uncomfortable and awkward. His social life now was pretty much non-existent, except for his beard girlfriend and his coworkers.

But now he had M.

After a life of nothing, Connor had been blessed with someone who listened to him without judgement, someone who met each day with a huge grin, someone who made him happy without even trying…

Connor realized he was more than happy to get M a dog. As long as M kept looking at him with those beautiful eyes, full of life and joy and understanding. In fact, Connor was pretty sure he was ready for more. He was ready to get closer to the boy at his side, ready to open his heart and see how M fit.

The house they pulled up to was nothing special. It was a little ranch house with a big tree in the front yard and a privacy fence cutting off the back.

“Who’s house is this?” M asked.

Connor parked the car and took his time shutting the engine off. He was smiling and in no hurry to answer.

“Connor,” M whined and his resolve crumbled. He met the boy’s eyes, his heart skipping a beat. Those large green pools were brimming with emotion.

Connor laughed at the look on M’s pouty face. It sounded a little breathless though, because he felt a little overwhelmed by his attraction to the boy at his side. “Follow me,” he said and he got out of the car and took deep breath of fresh air. It smelled like freshly mowed grass.

M was quick to follow. He leapt from the car and raced around the back to stand inches behind him. The boy stared up at him expectantly. Connor smirked at him and led the way to the front porch. By the front door, there was a grungy little doorbell under the house number. After ringing it a few times, he figured it was broken. He was used to this bullshit. He delivered pizzas in the town of broken doorbells, after all. Nevertheless, Connor gave the old lady a little leeway and whipped out his phone to check the time.

It was right on the dot though. It was fucking noon.

Connor slid his phone into his back pocket and turned back to rap on the screen door’s flimsy aluminum frame. Immediately, a dog started barking in the back yard.

M gasped, his hand fluttering to his chest. He looked up at Connor with huge eyes and Connor winked at him, but someone was finally coming to the door.

“Are you Connor?” The old lady who answered the door was in rollers and slippers. Connor knew they weren’t early and the lady was letting them in anyway, so he decided he’d just ignore the lady’s ‘bedroom’ look.

“Yep. We wanted to look at the dog—”

“We’re getting a dog?!”

Connor and the old lady both looked at M. The blond’s tight little body wiggled with excitement. His smile was ridiculous.

“... He’s in the backyard,” the old lady said and M didn’t wait for permission. He zipped past the old lady and rushed through her house, looking for the backdoor.

“Uh, sorry about him,” Connor said. “That’s my little brother. I wanted the dog to be a surprise.”

“Oh,” the old lady laughed. “We’d better go find him then. The backyard’s through the living room here.”

Connor slipped inside and followed the old lady into the other room. It was messy. Dirty almost. There were muddy dog prints on the carpet near the sliding glass door and the glass was covered in mud and grass, streaks from an overeager dog’s paws.

The rest of the room was just as cluttered. There were stacks of clothes on either side of the couch. There were tons of magazines piled on the coffee table. The walls were covered in dusty pictures of family and friends and various pets.

The old lady shuffled out onto the back porch and Connor stepped out behind her. The back yard was large, flat, and completely fenced in. They had no trouble spotting M.

The blond ran in circles, laughing unstoppably. A mid-sized brown dog was chasing him. Connor watched the boy and the dog make several laps around the backyard and then M tripped, fell and rolled in the grass. The dog was on him in an instant.

Connor cringed, watching as the dog began to eagerly lick M’s face and mouth. Gross.

“Looks like your brother gets along with Poo.”

“Poo?”

“That’s the dog’s name.”

“Oh.” Yuck. What a stupid name.

“Most people think Poo’s a vicious pit-bull, but he’s a mutt,” the old lady said. They watched as the dog played tug-of-war with M’s sleeve. The boy wrapped his arms around the dog’s neck and the two of them rolled in the grass some more. “Poo’s as friendly and loving as they come!” the old lady chuckled.

“You said he’s protective,” Connor said. “My brother just wants a dog, but I think we need a little more security.”

“I’m sure you heard Poo barking as soon as you knocked on the door,” the old lady said. “He heard that from out here.”

“He’s got a good ear,” Connor said, unimpressed.

“Poo tore up Roger Brinkley’s arm when that little shit broke in,” the old lady added. “That brat was casing the house. I had him over last Christmas to help me get the decorations out of the garage. I wondered what he was doing when I found him snooping around my bedroom. But he pointed at a picture of my late husband sitting on the dresser and said he’d just wanted to see Buck again. Buck passed a couple years ago. Everyone in the neighborhood was affected when he died. He was popular with the neighbors. He was a great guy. Everyone always loved him…”

“Ah, ok?” The dog looked like he was nibbling on M now, but the boy was still shrieking with laughter. The dog stepped carefully over M’s prone figure, nipping him gently, under the arms, and around his ticklish sides. He licked M in the face again and again.

“Roger Brinkley came back to the house a couple nights later. I was out with my church group and when I got back home, the police and a few neighbors were sitting in the driveway. Brinkley was sitting in an ambulance.”

“They told me Poo did a number on the boy’s arm, but he was trespassing. They’d gotten him to admit he was here to snatch the savings I had hidden away,” the old lady said, her lips pinched together. “My daughter’s already got a bank account set up for me in California. She’s not going to let me keep money under the mattress anymore.”

Connor shifted uncomfortably. “That’s nice.”

“It’ll be an adjustment,” she said.

“Connor! Connor!” M called from the yard. He was laughing so hard, Connor was surprised he could even get words out. “This is the nicest dog ever!”

“The dog’s not going to poop all over my house, right?” Connor asked, waving at M in reply.

“Oh no. But it’d be best if you have some sort of fenced in yard. I never had the chance to leash train him. I’m not getting around so good these days.”

“I’ve got a little bit of land and no neighbors close by,” Connor said.

“That’ll probably be alright. The fence is for the neighbors anyway,” the old lady said. “He knows where he lives. Poo wouldn’t run off.”

“And what does he eat.”

“I can give you the rest of the dry food I’ve got. It’s half a bag maybe. It’s nothing special. Just normal dog food.”

“Great.”

“Interested in taking Poo?”

Connor nodded.

“I was really hoping you would be,” the old lady smiled. “I already said my goodbyes to him this morning. I’ll tear up if I do it again. Let me go get a couple things together and I’ll let you boys out the back gate.”

“Ok.”

The old lady shuffled back inside while Connor was left to hang out on the deck. He watched M and the dog play.

M was a vibrant soul and Connor was warmed by the boy’s delight albeit still nervous about the prospect of owning a dog. Connor had never played with a dog before. He’d got chased around the trailer park by a couple vicious Chihuahuas when he’d been younger and learned to hate them early.

But this was going to be different. Because Connor was doing this for M.

He ventured out into the grass. The dog had tired itself out and was lying next to M, panting. The blond pet the dog behind its silky ears.

The dog was short haired and Connor got what the old lady had said about pit-bulls because the dog had a face that resembled one. It had a soft pink nose and warm eyes though and with its tongue hanging out, Connor thought the dog looked more dumb than mean and vicious.

“It’s really a nice dog,” M said as Connor crouched beside him.

“Good. Because he’s ours now. I’ll need you to help me take care of him.”

“Really?!”

Connor smiled and in an instant, he had an armful of over-excited boy.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” M cried.

“Don’t mention it. But promise me you’ll take care of him. Because I don’t really like dogs and—”

“I’ll take care of him!” M said quickly. “What’s his name, anyway?”

“Whatever you want. You get to name him,” Connor said, hoping M wouldn’t pick something as dumb as Poo.

M’s little face got serious. “I’ll think of the most perfect name.”

“You’d better. Because the dog’s coming home with us today.”

“Yay!”

Connor watched the blond fuss over the brown dog. The dog was cute. Sort of. He had a short tail and it was mostly a blur with the way he wagged it. M rubbed him behind the ears and the dog’s eyes slid shut with pleasure. Suddenly, the dog’s ears perked up, and he turned his head towards the back of the house.

The old lady was struggling to get the sliding glass door open again. She had a big bag of dog food, nearly up to her waist, beside her.

“Keep the dog with you,” Connor told M and then he was off to help the old lady. The woman had a plastic bag full of dog toys. She gave them the dog food and also a canister of treats.

“Poo doesn’t need much else. He’s a good dog. He’s happy laying at your feet all day.”

Connor had the dog food and treats in one arm and the toys dangled in their bag from the other. He had this entire dog’s life in his hands. The pressure was on!

“I really appreciate you taking him,” the old lady said. “I wish I could take him with me.”

“We really needed a dog. So thanks for giving him up.”

The lady smiled and gestured to the gate at the side of the deck, along the fencing below. “You boys can see yourselves out whenever you’re ready. God Bless.”

Connor cringed at the lady’s hokey goodbye, but she was hurrying to leave them the fuck alone. He helped the lady secure the sliding glass door behind her and sighed a breath of relief when she was gone. That had been easier than he’d expected, getting a dog.

“Let’s get the dog in the backseat. I’ll put these things in the trunk.”

M leapt up and followed Connor to the back gate with a bounce in his step. The dog rolled over and zipped after them.

“Did you think of a name for the dog?” Connor asked. He got the gate open easily enough and they headed for the car.

“I think we should call him Doggy! Because he’s the best dog in the world,” M said.

Connor snorted. “You sound like a baby. How about something normal? Like Jack, or something.”

“Oh, I like it,” M said adoringly. “I love our new dog!”

M pet Jack as he wedged himself between the humans. The dog cocked his head in M’s direction, as if in acknowledgement. The two boys got the dog situated in the back without much trouble and then Connor stored the dog supplies in the trunk while M got in the front.

Connor got in the car and already, M was leaning over his seat, petting the dog who had started to whine pitifully in the back.

“I think he’s scared,” M said.

“Probably is. He’s lived here his whole life. We’re complete strangers and we’re taking him away.”

“Oh no!” M cried. He moaned and crooned to the dog. Jack pinned his ears back.

Connor shrugged. He didn’t give it much thought. There’d be some adjustment for all of them. If the dog wanted to cry like a baby, he was free to do so.

By the time they’d hit the road, M had wormed himself further into the back seat. He was sitting on the armrest, without a seatbelt.

“Poor puppy,” M moaned. “It’s alright, little one.” Connor make a quick right turn to get out of the old lady’s neighborhood and M cried out in peril. “The dog’s sliding around! Connor! Be careful!”

The blond leaned into the backseat to protect the animal and in doing so, he bumped into Connor’s arm, forcing the steering wheel to jerk sharply in the wrong direction. The car swerved a bit and Connor growled.

“Just get in the back!” he cried. “You’re going to get us killed sitting like that.”

M gave Connor some apologetic puppy eyes, but he moved to sit in the backseat anyway. He put his arms around the moping dog.

M and his puppy. Both of them pouting and so very, very cute...

Connor rolled his eyes and he turned the radio on.

When they got back to the trailer, Connor got all the dog supplies together on the porch before he let himself in. M was in no hurry to get inside. The dog seemed relieved, if a tad frantic, to be free from the car and he ran to and fro, sniffing about, peering at everything, pissing on every tree in sight.

M crouched in the tall grass a few yards from the trailer and watched the dog with fascination. It looked like was studying the animal, like he was taking notes or something.

Connor left him too it. He found a couple bowls he didn’t care about on the top shelf of his cupboard and he put down some dog food and bowl of water at the back of the kitchen. He glanced out the window afterwards, wondering if M was close to coming in.

Jack was still sniffing around, but it looked like he was getting his lay of the land now, getting a feel for his new territory. Connor could understand that. The blond boy trailed after the dog, talking in quiet tones. Connor went outside to see what was going on. He took the bag of toys and sat on the step below the front door.

“Hey Connor,” M called in greeting before he returned to studying the dog.

Connor took out a big dented ball and instantly, Jack’s head popped up, his ears perked upright and his eyes zeroed in on the object.

M followed the dog’s line of sight. “I think he wants the ball.”

Connor snorted. “Yeah. No shit.” Jack’s tongue slid out of his mouth and he moved in, but before he could get too close, Connor chucked the ball into the trees.

Jack tore off into the woods while M laughed with delight. “That’s so cool! Will he bring it back?”

“We’ll have to wait and see,” Connor said, leaning back against the screen door. It was almost comfortable.

M came to sit beside Connor on the step. “If Jack brings it back, can I try to throw the ball next?”

“Sure.”

M’s smile was huge.

It was only a few minutes before Jack bounded back to the trailer. He had the ball crushed in his powerful jaw.

Connor reached over M and fought with Jack for the ball. The dog was playful and seemed desperate for the attention. “Alright jerk. Your getting it right back,” he told the dog as he wrested the slobbery toy from Jack’s maw. He handed it over to M and watched him make a shitty girl-throw. It didn’t matter. Jack still ran to get the ball. He seemed excited about it, no matter the distance.

***

“He sure is thirsty,” M said from the kitchen. He stood over the dog, giggling, as he watched Jack lap up his water bowl.

The dog had probably run 10 miles with all the times Connor and M had thrown things for him to retrieve. No wonder he was thirsty.

“Are you hungry?” Connor asked as he came to join the two in the kitchen. M nodded and Connor turned to busy himself with making something for dinner.

“See, Jack, Connor feeds us and takes care of us. Isn’t he the best?”

Connor couldn’t tell if M was trying to butter him up or what but M lead the dog into the other room and Connor heard the TV come on.

Now alone in the kitchen, he looked through the cupboards first. Then the fridge. They were already running low on food and the options leftover weren’t exactly desirable. He promised himself the next time he got a little money – so probably tomorrow night, after he cashed out at Pizza Hut – he’d do some quality grocery shopping.

But for now, there was some bread left and some cheese. There was half a jug of milk left and Connor had spied a can of tomato soup on one of the top shelves. He could fix up a can of tomato soup with some milk, butter and salt. Grilled cheese sandwiches were always good, too. Nothing special needed.

Connor made them some dinner and brought out soup and separate plates with two sandwiches each. Jack gazed longingly at their food with his dark brown eyes. He looked so damned sad, it was like he was the hungriest dog on the planet.

“Did he eat any of his dog food?”

“A little,” M stared sadly at the dog. He was barely paying attention to the soup in his lap or the plate of sandwiches Connor had balanced on the cushion beside him.

“This is stupid,” Connor got up. He had to leave his soup bowl and sandwiches on the stove, but he went to let the dog out. He grabbed Jack by the collar and pulled him towards the door. Jack didn’t want to go, but with some effort, Connor got the dog out the door.

“You can come back in when we’re done eating,” he told the dog.

Jack moved to lay down at the bottom of the landing and Connor sighed. The dog looked like he was being sentenced to death. Connor had never seen such a sad dog.

“Sorry. It won’t take very long.”

Connor left the dog after that. He felt stupid. Standing outside while his dinner got cold, reassuring a fucking dog of all things…

Back inside, M was eating his grilled cheese mindlessly, staring at the TV. It was one of those old murder mystery shows, a reenactment of a real unsolved case, or whatever.

Connor glared at the blond on the couch. “Hey,” he snapped.

M looked at him in an instant.

“You’re eating that wrong.”

“What?” M looked down at his bowl.

Connor went to grab his dinner from the kitchen. When he returned, he sat beside M and set the bowl in his lap. Then he dipped a corner of his grilled cheese into the soup and bit into it.

M mimicked him. “Mmmm.”

“I told you,” Connor said, smugly. “You were eating it wrong.”

They finished their dinner in a happy kind of quiet and after that M went to do the dishes while Connor let the dog back in. He was happy to find Jack exactly where he’d left him and he returned with a simple beckoning call. The dog sniffed around the living room and Connor nervously waited for the dog to start pissing, but Jack continued into the kitchen. M giggled when the dog found him at the sink and plunged his nose into his soft butt crack.

“That tickles!”

Connor snorted and locked up the front door. There’d be no need to go out after this. Hopefully the dog had taken care of business when he’d been outside during dinner because Connor expected M to fall asleep while they watched movies on TV. Connor would leave the dog out here with M and then he’d would get some much needed sleep before morning.

He flipped through the channels on TV until he found an old action movie. M came in to join him before the first commercial break and the dog lapped up some water, munched on some dog food and then came to lay on the floor in front of them. Just as the old lady had said, the dog was happy laying at their feet.

The movie started to get intense and M absently put his foot down, tangling his toes in the dog’s fur. The dog sighed with satisfaction and shut his eyes.

“Oh!” M cried at a particularly bloody action sequence. The hero was clearly risking his life to save the day and M grabbed onto Connor’s arm as the tension spiked. Connor enjoyed the warm pressure of the boy’s fingers against his skin.

***

M was fast asleep long before midnight. The dog was sleeping too, peacefully on the floor in front of M. Connor studied the happy sight on his couch for several minutes before he slipped away from the boy and his dog and headed for bed.

He went to his room and stripped down to his boxers. He checked his phone.

He hadn’t missed any calls, but there were a few messages from Hannah.

Starting at noon…

Hey, I found a break in lesson planning. I’m going to look up Michael Thomas.

Ok, here I go.

There’s a ton of hits. I kept the search statewide, but if I don’t find anything interesting, I’ll expand it to the whole country.

Around 1:30pm

I haven’t found anything interesting. I’m a little crunched for time here. I think I’m going to have to put this to bed for now.

Around 7pm

Hey baby! I can run the search again if you’re dying to know all of M’s secrets.

30 minutes later

That was just a joke.

One hour later

I had another break in the lesson planning and I looked at more results. It’s the same thing as when I looked at police records. The person they’re talking about is always the wrong age and the descriptions never match. One will mention a tattoo, another will mention a scar… I know M’s skin is flawless, so I know they’re not talking about him.

Forty-five minutes later

So, did you have fun with M today?

Connor typed a response to the last text. He felt strangely guilty. Even though he’d done nothing wrong. We got a dog today, he said.

Hannah answered at once. Seriously?

Connor shrugged. It’s for protection and I figure M would like some company while I’m at work.

But you hate dogs!

I don’t like them. Hate is different.

I know! You *hate* them!

Connor sighed. This was turning into a pretty stupid argument. I’m just telling you what I did today. And thanks for doing all the research. Even if you didn’t come up with anything.

Hannah’s reply popped up and Connor was about to look at it when there was a gentle knock at the door. Connor froze and then he dove into bed straight away, shoving his phone under his pillow.

“Connor?” It was M. Of course it was.

Connor peeked out from under the covers. The door was open just a crack; he’d left it that way.

“Connor… I just wanted to talk—”

Suddenly, the door flew open and in came the dog. Jack leapt up onto the bed and bowled Connor over. The dog began his sniffing ritual, searching through the blankets and Connor yelped as his balls were crushed under a careless paw. He gasped in pain. “Get him off me!”

“Jack! Shoo!” M weakly pushed at the dog’s side, but Jack wasn’t looking for any direction. He spun in a circle and pinched Connor’s sensitive parts again.

“Fucking get off me!”

Jack leapt off the bed and ran out of the bedroom. Connor made sure the dog was gone before he curled into a ball, moaning.

“Are you ok?”

“Sure,” Connor hissed. “If you like having a smashed scrotum.” He slowly uncurled from his defensive ball and was greeted with M’s pouting face. The pain had lessened, but M looked chastised, as if he’d been the one to crush Connor’s testicles. “I’m fine,” he grumbled, waving off the boy’s concern. “Did you need something?”

In all the nights M had spent at Connor’s place, not once had he needed Connor in the middle of the night. Back in the living room, Connor had dimmed the lights and shut off the TV. He basically tucked M in and kissed him good night. There was no reason for him to be here right now.

M looked guilty, too. He worried his bottom lip between his teeth and his gaze was downcast. Connor could see the boy’s long eyelashes tickling his cheeks.

“I was wondering if we could talk a little more,” M said at last. He released his lower lip to speak and afterwards, it trembled, free and unsupported and M licked the fat protuberance. His eyes flicked up to Connor’s face and he seemed to fold into himself with embarrassment when he realized Connor was watching him. He shifted in his awkward little stance between the bedroom and the hallway. “I’m sorry. You’re not mad are you?”

“Ah, no?”

M smiled faintly “Oh, good.”

Connor’s gaze slowly slid down M’s slim body. His feet were bare and his little toes curled back into the soles. His legs were bare as well. Actually, he wasn’t wearing pants at all anymore and the t-shirt he’d switched into since Connor had left him earlier, out on the couch, came to his mid-thigh, covering any sign of underwear.

“Where did your pants go?” Connor asked, dazed.

“I got hot,” M said easily. “I took them off.”

Connor thought M looked a little too casual to not have meant something by showing up in his bedroom, in the middle of the night, half naked, but whatever.

M crept further into the room. “I just wanted to thank you. For getting the dog.”

“Your welcome,” Connor said. “But you could have waited until morning to tell me.”

“I know,” M said, moving further into the room. He perched on the edge of the bed and Connor sat up on his elbows, suddenly nervous by the implied intimacy, by the surprise visit in general…

“I was kind of angry with you earlier, too, and I just wanted to apologize,” M said slowly and Connor arched his eyebrows. “It’s unfair of me to have secret feelings about you….”

Connor blushed. “That’s not really something I’ll agree with. Honestly, nobody would. Everyone has secrets and that’s ok.”

M shrugged.

It was silent for a moment. Connor’s face continued to burn with heat. He could see M in the moonlight and from a little light streaming down the hallway, entering through the wide-open bedroom door.

M’s skin looked otherworldly in the faint light. It was pale, almost a white-blue. M’s leg was folded up on the edge of the bed and he was sitting sideways, his other leg dangling bare and luscious, over the side. The silken expanse of M’s flesh was so tempting. Connor wanted to touch it. He wanted to run his tongue over it. He wanted to feel it getting warm against his own sweating skin.

Connor spoke, breaking the silence out of a panicked need to change the subject. “What were you angry with me about again?”

M smiled and flexed the toes he had resting on the bed. They were fat and round and cute. Connor’s were long and kind of hairy. He hadn’t had toes as cute as M’s since he was a small boy.

“I’m sure you can guess,” M said with a smile.

Connor instantly knew what they were talking about.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just a little impatient.”

“I understand,” Connor mumbled.

“I just want us to be together. I hate that I have to wait.”

Connor sighed with annoyance. “Do you even know what that means?”

“What being together means?”

“Yeah. Because we’re already together. What does that even mean to you? Being together? We were together all day yesterday. We were together all day today, too. We’re always together.”

Connor knew he was being an asshole. He was just nitpicking. He knew what the kid meant. M wanted them to become lovers. Although, Connor was pretty sure M didn’t know what that meant either. Honestly, he was annoyed with himself. He felt stupid for making M wait. He felt stupid for being the way he was.

M was gaping at him now and looking hurt. Connor waved him off impatiently, even further annoyed with himself. He couldn’t do anything right.

“Forget it,” he said quickly.

“I know what it means,” M said in a rush. “I know what being together means.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “You know what? Maybe you do. But I actually don’t think it matters right now because I’m not going to kiss you and we’re not going to have sex…. Let’s go to bed.”

M fell into silence again and Connor sighed and slid back under the covers. He laid flat on his back and stared up at his ceiling, at the spots of weak light playing on the white stretch. He heard the faint sound of Jack’s collar jangling. The tags for his vaccinations were clicking together and the sound of it came all the way down the hallway.

The dog snuck back into the bedroom again. Connor didn’t look away from the ceiling, but he was pretty sure he heard the dog lay down in the narrow space next to the bed, next to M’s dangling leg. Connor shut his eyes and he reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Can I sleep in here, tonight?” M asked sweetly.

And because Connor knew this question, as sweet and simple as it sounded, was actually very heavily loaded, he agreed without a fight. “Sure. Whatever. Just go to sleep.”

M didn’t say anything more. He curled up on the opposite side of Connor’s bed and pulled the covers over himself. There wasn’t a pillow on his side of the bed because M was using it out in the living room. The single one Connor had been using was in the middle though and M scooted over to use the corner of it, getting dangerously close to Connor’s body.

“Goodnight,” M said gently.

Connor grunted and stayed perfectly still. His body grew rigid, like a plank of hardwood. He was tensely waiting for the inevitable. Any minute now, clumsy hands would touch him, or M’s body would encroach on him even further. Fuck, he was waiting for M to fly at him like some kind of cupid/ninja and lay a kiss on him!

He waited for something to happen, but after awhile M’s breathing slowed and the boy beside him sank into the mattress as he drifted off to sleep. Even the dog was snoring by the time Connor gave up.

Connor sighed angrily to himself in the dark and rolled onto his side. He glared up at the window, looking out at the moon. He scowled with displeasure.

He’d just spent the last hour nervously waiting for M to get naughty with him. But M had fallen asleep. Now Connor was the creepy one, laying in the dark, thinking dirty thoughts...

Connor stayed on his side, stiff and uncomfortable, horny and incredibly frustrated with himself. He finally passed out though and he slept terribly.

***

Connor woke with a start. His body was stiff, much stiffer than last night. His head had fallen off the pillow sometime during the night and he had a crick in his neck. His head felt fuzzy. Like someone had scrubbed out the inside of his skull with a steel sponge. Connor rolled over, cringing at the aches and pains in his body. He felt like he hadn’t slept a wink.

His eyes were still adjusting to the light, but it was impossible to miss the blond boy in his bed and M slept peacefully, a streak of sunlight warming his face.

Connor gazed at the boy, his mouth watering unintentionally.

M was gorgeous in the morning. His lips were sensuously parted and his soft blond hair fell gracefully into his eyes. He lay on his side with one of his hands resting on the bedspread, close to touching Connor’s hip, but not quite. M’s face was flushed with warmth and his breathing was unhurried.

Connor, stuck between entrancement and dread, wondered how he was going to climb over the blond without waking him. If Connor attempted that, he’d have to push the blankets down so he could get out of bed and in doing so, that would leave M’s legs exposed. Maybe, he thought, he’d get to see more than legs...

Connor swallowed and looked resolutely at the ceiling. The sunlight was bright, but it was still relatively early. Connor guessed it was maybe 10 am. A lot earlier than he usually woke up, but really, he should have known he wouldn’t be able to sleep with someone else sharing the bed with him.

Connor groaned as he continued to stare at the ceiling, plotting his way over M and out of the bedroom. Suddenly, there was a loud, sputtering grunt and Connor froze. The sound of aluminum tags clinking together interrupted his panic.

Fuck! The dog! Connor had completely forgot about the dog blocking the main escape route! Oh fuck!

It sounded like Jack had scratched an itch or something, but it also sounded like he was settling back into sleep now. Shit!

Connor rubbed his face again and ground the heels of his palms into his eye sockets. His hands slid back into his hair then and his fingers tangled in the short dark locks. He then proceeded to rip all his fucking hair out.

Not really. But that’s what he felt like doing...

Suddenly, there was a tiny, cute little sigh next to him and Connor cautiously turned his head.

M blinked his bright green eyes open and as he did, his blond eyelashes caught the light. They were like fine strands of gold raking against his delicate skin.

Connor swallowed back a helpless groan. He stared in awe as M’s eyes adjusted to the light and the boy turned to him, warm and comfortable on the fucking pillow.

“Hey,” M said, his voice soft and a little raspy. It was sexy as fuck.

“Hey,” Connor said back.

M stretched and yawned. He flexed his neck and shrugged the thin blankets off in the process.

More of M’s fit little body came into view. It was just his upper half and he still wore a t-shirt, but Connor knew what M looked like under that cotton tee and he was stuck between guilt and lust. The lust was winning, though. He was so close to M, he just wanted to touch him. He just wanted to know what he felt like...

“Are you doing this on purpose?” he asked suddenly.

“What?” M’s full lips curved into a smile.

“Looking all… seductive,” Connor snapped.

“What does that mean?”

Connor growled, but M smiled back, his cheerful expression blank and oblivious.

Connor wanted to hit him. Or maybe he just wanted to grab M by his stupid shirt and bring him in close so he could kiss him until he ran out of breath and died because he was a little brat who deserved it.

That last option sounded viable.

“It means,” Connor said, enunciating his words slowly. “That you’re trying to seduce me. You’re trying to convince me to kiss you with the way your acting.”

M fluttered his eyes. “Do you want to kiss me?”

“Yes,” Connor said heatedly.

“Oh.”

Connor glared at the blond, but M licked his pink lips, totally unaware of the distress he was causing.

With a growl, Connor finally lost the battle with himself. He rolled on top of M and the blond fell onto his back, his eyes wide.

“You totally asked for this,” Connor panted down at M, and oh god, he wanted to taste his plump, sweet lips. He’d been dying to do this for days now, he couldn’t hold back. He dipped down and captured M’s tender lips in a kiss.

M shut his eyes and moaned. His little hands came up and he clutched at Connor’s wide shoulders as his mouth was taken.

Connor felt his cock twitch to life with the excitement as M squirmed below him. He brushed M’s hair back as he deepened the kiss. M’s mouth was soft and warm and he wanted desperately to be let in. Gently, Connor touched M’s bottom lip with his tongue.

M jerked beneath Connor, but his lips parted with a groan. Connor took that as an invitation and eased his tongue into M’s hot mouth. His eyelids sank as a jolt of pleasure zipped from the tip of his tongue down to the heart of his lust. To his thickening cock. Connor stroked his tongue along M’s wet muscle, his eyes rolling up into his head with pleasure. Then, suddenly, M’s teeth clamped down. His jaw locked into place.

Connor yelled as his tongue was caught. Mindlessly, he yanked his head back, but that only increased the pain so he lashed out, hitting M in the head.

“FuckfuckfuckFUCK!” Connor whacked M off of him and leapt from the bed. The dog yelped in pain and Connor realized he’d landed directly on Jack’s back leg. The dog scurried off to hide while Connor steadied himself against the wall. His eyes flew back to the blond on the bed.

M lay still on the mattress. He was curled on his side and his face was turned away. Obviously, M had made a huge mistake and he was silently waiting for punishment.

Connor growled and swallowed a mouthful of blood. “You never use teeth to kiss!” he cried, sending a bit of bloodied spittle flying. He scowled and held a hand to his mouth. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

M said nothing. He didn’t flinch, sigh or make any indication that he was sorry.

Connor backed away from the bed. He was crazy with anger. He didn’t know how badly he’d hurt M, but right then, with his vision stained blood red, he didn’t care. He thought M deserved it. “Fuck you,” he said harshly and then he left the room.

Connor didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he had to leave the house. He needed to be alone.

He grabbed his tennis shoes on the way to the living room and left them in front of the couch while he collected shorts and a t-shirt from the laundry room. He passed the dog in the kitchen. Jack lay on the rug in front of the sink. He had his face between his paws and looked beaten. Connor felt bad for the poor thing, but he didn’t stop to coddle the animal. M could do that if he wanted.

Connor got dressed on the couch, pausing to gingerly check his stinging tongue.

There was some red on the tip of his finger, but he didn’t taste blood as strongly as he had a minute ago. The bite, as far as Connor could see, wasn’t bad enough for stitches. Great.

Before he had to deal with anymore bullshit, he tied up his shoes and headed for the door. He grabbed his keys on his way out. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, but thought maybe he’d like the option to go for a drive.

He went outside, locking the door behind him. He looked at the Honda, but decided against it immediately.

So, he started to walk.

What the fuck was he going to do now? He had a roommate who’d just tried to eat his face, literally and now he had a fucking dog. Connor shook his head and kept walking. This couldn’t possibly be happening. He’d just keep walking and by the time he returned home, the problems would have solved themselves.

Probably. Hopefully.

Connor reached the road and took his normal route. Towards the dead end. He didn’t stop at the halfway point he and M had made, though. He didn’t need too. He didn’t want to either. He kept walking and trying not to think too much.

Connor kept a steady pace as he approached the dead end. The abandoned house at the end looked as gloomy and depressing as ever. Even in the morning sunlight, the place looked like a huge dark cloud hung over it.

He hit the end of the road and stopped in the gravel. He could continue on into the woods and loop around the house, making the walk a little longer before he had to return to the mess in the trailer or he could turn back now like he normally did. He was considering his options when something caught his eye.

Something had just moved inside the house….

Connor peered through the trees, through the empty windows into the dark house. Nothing looked any different. Nothing had changed. But there it was again! Someone was inside! On the ground floor! It looked like something was passing in front of a light. In the dim gloom of the house, Connor could see another room beyond the front one. It was through a doorway and the light was coming from back there.

He stepped over the line of gravel and into the grass for a better look. He was just stepping past the first row of trees when he heard a deep voice behind him.

“Connor.”

Connor whirled around, his heart beating out of his chest.

It was the man in black. He was standing a little further down the road in his habitual black suit, hat and sunglasses. He was just standing there and then he lunged forwards and Connor turned and ran.

He rushed straight towards the house. He suspected that the man in black was trying to get him to run there though and promptly redirected.

He grabbed onto a thin branch, jumped over some low-lying brambles and launched himself to the left of the house. He risked a glance over his shoulder and cursed under his breath. The man in black weaved through the trees, keeping up easily.

Connor turned around, running as hard as he could towards the trailer. Fuck! He’d gone from one fucked up situation to the next! Fuck! He couldn’t run home, the guy would probably corner him there…

He decided to lose the guy. Or at least confuse him, get him turned around. He knew the woods and swamp surrounding his property well, and hopefully, knew it better than the guy on his tail.

He took a right and ran deeper into the woods. His lungs burned and he got lashed at least a dozen times by branches and twigs. He veered off course again, heading towards the swampier areas. He dove over a large fallen log and hit the ground running. When he looked behind him though, the guy in black was gracefully leaping over the log and he too landed at a sprinting pace. It didn’t look like the guy had broken a sweat yet. Was the guy a fucking Olympian or something? Fuck!

Connor ran for a couple more frantic moments. He changed directions. He pushed himself to go faster and to run harder and he felt like he was about to suffocate. He couldn’t catch his breath anymore. He lungs burned hot.

But the man in black wouldn’t stop pursuing. He never stopped.

The fear grew. Connor didn’t know what would happen if he stopped and let himself be caught. What did this guy even want?! But he couldn’t keep going like this. He’d trip and fall or just run out of air before too long and then he’d have no choice but the face his crazed pursuer.

So, he made up a quick and stupid plan.

He had been heading into the swampier areas for a reason. He took a sharp left and headed straight for heart of the slummy swamp. Near where he’d found M originally. The guy in black followed easily. No surprise. Connor flat out ran, gasping for breath, his legs felt like they were on fire.

He jumped and skirted down an embankment. The rocks made it tough to keep his footing, but he hurried along.

He ducked around one last tree, jerked himself back against the trunk so that he was invisible to his man in black, if only for a moment, and then he let himself slip, feet first, into some of the slimiest, murkiest swamp water he’d ever had the pleasure of seeing.

He held his breath and let himself sink into the dirty water. He was completely submerged and as gross as that was, he held his breath and waited.

Every second that passed, Connor counted it as lucky.

He’d probably been seen. It was only a matter of time until he was caught. Connor had very little faith in his plan, but he waited resolutely, still as can be, holding his burning lungs until he was pretty sure they were going to explode like overfilled balloons.

When he couldn’t take it anymore, Connor burst out of the water and sucked in huge lungfuls of fresh air. He blinked and cleaned the muck from his eyes. He spotted the swamp bank and dragged himself out of the water.

He couldn’t believe it. His plan appeared to have worked. The man in black was gone. The chase, whatever the reason behind it, was over. He wiped slime off his face and then tried to get it off his hands by wiping them on his equally wet and slimy clothes. He groaned with disgust. It was going to be a great walk home.

And then it hit him. What if this had all been some kind of trap. The man in black had been by the other day, trying to bang the door down to get to M. He’d done that after he knew Connor wasn’t home. Connor didn’t know the exact time-line, obviously, but he thought maybe the man in black was keeping tabs on him. Maybe the man had simply chased him off so he could loop back to the trailer.

To get to M.

For a second, he wasn’t sure he cared. Fucking M, trying to bite his tongue off… But he didn’t even know why M had done that. This whole situation was weird and Connor knew he had to get back to the trailer and pronto.

What the fuck had he gotten himself into now?

He started off in the direction of the trailer, picking up the pace as his fears refused to be trampled. He had to make sure everything was ok....