Pieces and Fragments - 2. just another day

the sun rises
and my head is hungover
with remnants of the nightmares
that plagued my sleep

he is here
he is always here
head thrown back
as his body shakes with raucous laughter
at my expense

I close my eyes
only to see his face
my body quakes with fear
as I hold back screams of terror

too much therapy
yet the scene continues to play
empty medicine bottles
that held empty promises
that the current one

was the right one

the sky dims early today
and the air turns to frost
it is beyond me
and yet – on this day –

I have no concern

desires for freedom
lead to hope
and hope frays the edges
of my heart

until I can bear no more

and long for a tomorrow
that never arrives
but stays as black
as my very soul