Brandon Smiling: From the Billy Chase Chronicles (1) - 53. Entry 53

Weekly Roundup

This week seemed to be the week of Bobby Jinette.

I don’t know what I did to garner this much of his attention, but apparently, I’ve been adopted. I have to wonder why he’s taken until the end of the semester to buddy-up with me? Maybe it has to do with him needing a pal for the summer or some such or maybe it is something more he wants. I’ll get into that a bit later.

Monday, early, he met me in the hall. I actually only came to school for him and to get in some racquetball time with Stevie. Bobby had emailed me the night before asking if I’d come in and help him with his Physics cramming since he’d been silly enough to take that class, like, in his Freshman year instead of his Senior year like a normal kid. I agreed I’d do what I could to help, though I am no whiz when it comes to Physics! Outside of the ‘General Science’ class I had in Jr. High, I only have a fundamental understanding of the subject. I hoped he hadn’t gotten into anything too ‘Einstein-ey’ yet because all of that stuff just gets me totally lost! Warp Factor Quantum Hydrogen Atom Bombs . . . there, now you know all I know about Quantum Physics!

The Physics part was actually not the most difficult part of my time with Bobby in the Library, though. I swear he wanted to sit in my lap with the way he kept leaning into me while he ‘read’ the passages he had questions about! Thankfully, they were easy enough to figure out and he had the math already (wow), but I got the feeling we weren’t there just for Physics. At one point, he was hip-to-hip with me and when I’d try to scooch over to put some respectable distance between us, he’d move over and we’d be in contact again!

Um . . . yeah.

At one point, Billy walked in, just like I hoped he would, and I made sure to smile at him to, kind of, encourage him to come over and, basically, RESCUE me from being Bobby-Buttified! Bobby is cool, he’s cute, he might even be fun . . . but he’s obvious now! The guy really is Gay and he’s ‘cruising me hard’ as Chandler would put it. I may need some advice from Chan about Bobby! I don’t need this guy coming in out of left field and Outing me before I even have a chance to figure things out myself first!

I’m flattered and, in some ways, I’m . . . thinking about it. But, in a whole lot of other ways I don’t want to be thinking about it! Billy’s appearance just helped me put things back in order in my head . . . for a little while.

If I am going to ‘Go To The Dark Side’ with someone, it will be with Billy if he wants! I don’t want to waste such a thing on a cheap fling with a guy I hardly know! From what Chandler says of Boystown, that’s actually the way a lot of Gay guys ‘hook-up,’ as he calls it. They meet and have a cheap fling and then never see each other again! That doesn’t sound romantic at all! But then, why does it sound a little exciting too?

If I’m going to finally admit to myself that I’m truly, irrevocably Gay and follow my heart, then I want my first time to be with someone special! I’d hope it would be with Billy, but . . . despite the weird reactions I get from him sometimes, I don’t know if it can be with him or not.

I’d rather my first time be with Stevie over Bobby. Stevie and I are a lot closer and, I think, anyway, that he might be Gay and like me too, but in a much more subtle way that lets me breathe a bit. Stevie hasn’t actually made any Gay comments or passes like JOEseph did or now Bobby is trying to do. But, there is a twinkle in Stevie’s eyes and a giggle in his smile that is just a little too special to be just a friendly greeting. Stevie is always glad to see me! Even if his skater friends are around, when I walk up they are totally forgotten! Hehehe.

Whatever Stevie feels for me seems real and, what’s more, it shows me what someone who really likes you looks like when they see you.

Billy gives me that same kind of smile and greeting! Whoever he’s with, even Sam, if I happen by, they are totally forgotten!

I know, as far as I’m concerned, anyone who is with me when Billy comes by is pretty much forgotten too!

That’s why when he saw me with Bobby practically sitting right on top of me and gave me that half-hearted smile and a little wave, my own heart sank. Then when he turned around and walked out the way he came without even coming to say hello, I suddenly grew very tired of Bobby and wanted to leave to chase Billy down!

But, out of respect for Bobby who had made our ‘date’ in good faith, I stayed and finished helping him. I made it a point, however, to cross over to the other side of the table where I could ‘see him better when I talked to him’. This way I could hopefully signal that I wasn’t interested in being Bobby’s ‘furniture’.

Bobby is a good sort and is, indeed, a cool guy to be friends with, but beyond that . . . I don’t know if I have any interest, I guess. Maybe if I hint that enough he’ll ‘simmer down’. Like I said, I need a Chandler consultation. Then again, why does part of me like this attention Bobby is giving me?

I’ve never been hit on so hard by a guy in my life! Bobby reminds me of a much goofier and clumsier version of Marie in that way!

When I finished up with Bobby, I did make the attempt to find Billy to have my fix of my blond-bombshell golden boy, but he was nowhere to be found. That was disappointing.

Stevie, as per usual, cheered me up and we had an excellent match. We were so sweaty that we ended up taking a shower in the gym afterwards. We tried to respect each other’s privacy, but I’ll admit to having turned around to take a peek at his lovely lily-white butt a few times. I have a feeling Stevie did the same because we made sure to keep our towels in ‘strategic’ places in front of us when we got back to our lockers. Fortunately, no one else was in the gym with us to make trouble for us so we could giggle about it.

Like I said, if not Billy then Stevie, you know? At least I know what I’d be getting as my first time with Stevie, hehehe! I’ve seen it first hand!

Tuesday - not much went on. Basically, the only thing of note was seeing something rather strange in the Library, that strangeness being Sam. It is very rare for me to see him in the Library on purpose for anything! I was glad I was, sort of, behind the bookshelves a bit for fear he’d see me and come bug me for some reason! I needn’t have worried because he made a beeline straight for a table where Billy’s Joanne was sitting! Hmmm . . .

I watched them for a while and it looked like she was helping him with something from class, more or less. However, there was a lot of smiling and snickering going on between them. I figured it was just them being friends, but . . . I know that blush on a guy’s face when I see it! Sam was more than a little turned on by Joanne! I’m sure he had to cover his crotch up with his books when he stood up to walk. The way he leaned in when they were ‘discussing’ something in the book showed he was more interested in Joanne than anything they may have been ‘reading’. What was weird was how Joanne leaned into Sam too, like she was more interested in that than really teaching him anything! I couldn’t help but think of the similarities this had with how Bobby was acting with me on Monday.

Why do I get the feeling Sam’s about to snake Billy’s girlfriend right out from under him? Could I have any more reason to dislike Sam intensely? Yeah, some ‘best friend’ that is!

Part of me would really feel bad about that since it would hurt Billy very much, I’m sure. The other part though . . . that part wonders if that would free Billy up for some ‘experimenting’.

But, before I could get any more Super Villain-ey with my plans for Billy, Bobby appeared and that was that. He had seen a horror movie I’d suggested and was way into talking about it! Hehehe. I think it gave him nightmares . . . Muwahahahaha!

So, I became otherwise occupied.

Nothing more interesting happened until today, Thursday, when Bobby and I decided to exchange numbers. Yeah . . . I know. I’m all about Billy or Stevie if I’m going to finally just ‘go Gay’ entirely. But, there is something nice about getting some pretty unambiguous male attention, even if I don’t necessarily want it to go anywhere with Bobby. Could I be any more schizo about this Gay thing? One moment, ‘never with Bobby and only with Billy’ the next it’s ‘Mr. Right Now over Mr. Right’ or however Chandler puts it.

To be honest, I’ll come clean with a possible reason for my schizoidness where Bobby’s concerned - there’s a Marie-shaped hole in my life right now. Marie hasn’t really gotten back to me since she told me she was going to have to go away for school. I thought we’d stay in contact, but truthfully, neither of us have made any real attempts at doing that. Maybe, it just hurts too much right now. I am trying not to dwell on it, but dang it - I really miss her!

Bobby is a good distraction from that right now. Stevie is great too, but he’s also very busy and, honestly, I’m not a skater so going to watch him skate all afternoon isn’t that much fun for me. Not all the time, at any rate. Sure, I’m active enough with racquetball, basketball, and cycling, but I don’t seem to need the continual activity Stevie likes! He’s like the Energizer Bunny! He keeps going and going!

Bobby is a lot more, I guess, relaxed. I don’t think I could get Stevie to sit down long enough for a movie or to get him set up in a video game. He’s the weirdest throwback to teens of another time! He’d rather be outside doing stuff than inside at all!

Nothing says that me, Bobby, and Stevie couldn’t go out and have some fun at the park or wherever, but I’d like someone to share geeky movie and gaming stuff with! Bobby seems like he’d be into that. Either that or he’s just leading me on so that he can get me alone in a room with him.

The only person better suited for being my ‘geek pal’ with just about anything is Billy! Yeah, not only do I want him body and soul, I also want his companionship! Billy is just . . . a lot of fun! I live for talking to him on the nights we can get away with it for the hours that we talk on the phone together! We can talk and talk about anything and never get bored! If only . . .

Well, anyways, maybe if Bobby presses all the right buttons then . . . we’ll see! A part of me would really like to see Bobby with his pants off! That butt of his must make the angels cry!

Ok, I’m going to Hell again for that one. Wait, Is that other voice in my head back? Well, hi there again, Mr. Schizoid! Geeze!

Anyway, I did bump into Billy today and he asked about Bobby and me for some strange reason. I told him we’d exchanged numbers and he asked a very strange question:

“Why?” And he asked it with a bit of an unpleasant sneer on his face too! That was unbecoming of Billy and it, kind of, got me a little irritated with him because of it! What does he have against Bobby?

I just answered that I did it because he was cool and we’d probably hang out or whatever and then told Billy I’d catch him later. ‘Why’ he asks! What does he care? Unless . . .

Jealous much?

Maybe Bobby is the thing to catch the conscience of the Billy? Yes, I’ve been reading Shakespeare. I really must be getting bored! That said, Bobby may actually be the instrument I need to catch Billy in my web of iniquity!

Muwahahahaha!

This is Doctor Brandon Von Doom, Schizophrenic