Well, What Do You Want To Know? - 2. Chapter 2

I will eventually answer most of the questions popping into your mind, I just think it’s important to tell you what was in my mind as I had experiences. Although, I am not telling you about every experience, I am trying to tell you about the ones that taught me something. My father was a good man and I didn’t always appreciate the way he tried to guide my siblings and I. To me he was a homophobic bitter man. Maybe in some ways he was, but I know now things weren’t exactly the way they seemed.

I remember we had a teacher who was a feminine type of man. He was the one that all the kids would confidently say he was gay. Mr. Roberts walked too stiffly and when he talked to other adults he would stand like my mother when she’s waiting to say something important. My friends and I would create stories we laughed about as we created them. (What was Mr.Roberts like at home). None of us knew if he had a wife or lived with his mother, or really anything about his personal life. Without really knowing why, I didn’t like the mannerisms of Mr. Roberts, I am not saying that I didn’t like him, Mr. Roberts was a kind and helpful person, I was just uncomfortable in the way he seemed so girlish.

I often would accompany my father on road trips to pick up parts or buy a new machine which we could add to our fleet. I would learn so much about how to bargain and or gain a person’s trust with kindness and humor. I remember one long trip we had some conversations about girls, and he was definitely brushing the edges of the sex talk. I don’t care who you are, or who your parents are, they aren’t the people you want to talk about sex with. “There are girls who will be willing to do more than kissing, and I wouldn’t be a good parent if I didn’t suggest that you don’t fall into their temptation. I do think it is important to let you know about options you have, if you are in that situation. You are so very young still, and I would not like to see you struggling with a baby of your own just yet.” I couldn’t help but to groan and slump into a cocoon at that moment. “Ok, just keep that in mind. There are so many things to consider and it all can be confusing, so when you have questions, even difficult ones, you can always ask me and I will try to give you solid advice.” I smiled at him and turned my attention back out the window.

The man my father was talking to about a new back hoe with a front loader, we’ll call him a bit peculiar.This particular tractor model was bigger than the ones we already had, it also could handle a heavier load. Listening to my father talking to him sounded like he was “flirting” with a woman. The guy didn’t talk exactly like Mr. Roberts, but I knew he was similar. As my father talked about prices he would side eye me before saying things like, “What can we do to get this price closer to what I can spend?” I was beginning to think I might understand the arrangement he was suggesting. At that point my father sent me outside to check on the skid loaders and see if we could throw one into the deal. It sounded reasonable and so I went, but I also saw how it could be the opportunity my father needed to dangle a different carrot in front of the salesman. In the end we were headed home with both machines on our lowboy trailer.

My father started to nervously talk about what I might have surmised. “What did you think about that salesman? He was kinda strange, wasn’t he?”

”Yeah, he reminded me of one of our teachers, Mr. Roberts, except not as gay.” Which caught him off guard and made him laugh really hard.

As he gained his composure he continued, “What do you think gay means?”

Have you ever tried to tell an adult what you think that kind of word meant. I mostly knew I had it right, but I didn’t want to sound too naive either. “It’s when a guy sounds and acts like a girl.” He didn’t laugh and didn’t say anything for a while.

”I suppose that is correct, but it usually means something else, can you guess what that might be?” Geez, I really was having a hard time with that question.

”Well, my friends say things, but I don’t know what to believe.” I wasn’t lying to my father, but I was pretty sure it was two guys having sex, I just couldn’t imagine how they would do it. I hadn’t done stuff with Doug yet. He egged me on to say what I was thinking and he fell silent again.

”I will tell you, if you can swear you wouldn’t ever tell your mother or any other girl about what I say, do you think you can swear to that?” Look, he had my undivided attention, there would be no way in hell that I wouldn’t swear to such an oath. “Son, when a man and a woman have sex, it can easily make a baby. But, if a man has sex with another man, they cannot make a baby. The thing is that some men do it because they look for it. Some men do it because they don’t have a girl they can do it with when they need to do it, and some men do it to prove they are stronger than the other guy, kind of like a punishment.”

”So, those guys are all gay too?” I was definitely confused.

The amount of thought he was putting into his answers meant he was trying to leave some things out. He always had that look when he wasn’t going to tell you everything you were asking about. “I think it’s more complicated than that. Sissy’s act like girls, but does it automatically mean that they have sex with other men? Or, do tough guys automatically mean that they have sex with women? Is gay more about the way they act or the sexual things they do? Then I ask you, if a Sissy has sex with a woman does that mean he can only have sex with women. Same with the tough guy, if he has sex with a man does he always have to have sex with men? How about this, would it make a difference if you knew a “why” when they did it? Say the sissy wanted to have children, does that mean he isn’t gay? If the tough guy needed to punish a guy in order to prove who is in control, does that mean he, is gay? Have you ever heard of the word bisexual?” I obviously hadn’t. “Well, that is supposed to mean that a person prefers to do things with both men and women. I actually don’t think that is an accurate description, I wouldn’t believe anyone who would try to tell me they prefer both men and women equally. I would argue that they would prefer to seek out one more often and be willing to do the other, or even seeking the one and then occasionally seeking the other just to do something different every now and then. Now, does that have a label when it’s like that? Here’s what I really want you to know. There are mostly people out there who will make you fit a label whether it’s true or not. They have a following that will keep you from being able to change your label and they will make you have a difficult life either way. I personally don’t think it’s right to behave like a woman when you are a man or even the other way around. I think that is more important than the actual sexual things they might do. However, it is of a higher importance to not be known to have a label and so we can never get caught doing anything that people might think you may or may not be doing.” The mere fact that my father would talk about this stuff is how I labeled him a homophobe, however I was still a child.

I was completely blown away that there were so many ways to look at all of that. I knew I was going to say something like that to my good friends ,but I wasn’t sure I would remember it all. One thing about my father, he gave me so much information without telling me what I was actually asking about.

Even at that time I was thinking about some of the things I had already done and things I kinda thought about maybe doing. I imagined, what if every person knew everything I did immediately after I did it, and what I would be labeled. Like when my best friend’s identical twin cousins came to stay for a summer. Andrew and Randall, you guessed it, Andy and Randy. They were almost 100% identical. Blonde, blue eyes, square jawlines, above average height, you know, godlike. Andy was the more sporty and masculine one, Randy was just, more easy going, and usually rather be doing something we ought not to do. Which was kinda up my alley. So, it came as no surprise to them that I would ask if their dicks looked exactly the same, and it was no surprise to my friend and I that Randy whipped his pants down with ease, but Andy needed to negotiate. “I will do it, but you two gotta get yours out too.”

It was no surprise to them that I yanked my shorts all the way down and then had to convince my friend (their cousin) to do it too. So, there we were, dicks hanging out and pointing at each other. No one was laughing, rather we were studying the details of each one’s shape and size. I asked the twins, “Will you lift them up and side to side, so we can see if they look any different.”

At that point, it started to turn us on, they were getting hard by all the attention and just moving them around. We all were getting stiff willy’s. Soon we were stroking ourselves while looking at each other. Back then we didn’t cum, but we did get an orgasm of sorts. Of course, we were never to speak about it again. Oh, I couldn’t tell any difference between them, by the way.

I became more aware of not being caught looking at someone, just in case someone might label me something I am not, especially. But, that is harder than you might think.

My father instilled the importance of ethics, when you say you are willing and able to do something for someone, you better be telling the truth. You need to consider what might be a possible challenge and what the solution may entail, before you make a promise. You need to have the ability to do the work with precision and skill, but it is equally important to do what you can quickly when mistakes are made. Because of this, my father was a very trusted businessman. People like him attract people with skills and integrity. Well, in business that is. A group of brothers worked for him and one stood out from the three of them. They were all very handsome and educated, but something in their past was troubling to them. Jeff had a beautiful wife and children. He just preferred to be at work. Technically, all three were skilled at the work, but Joe didn’t like any manual labor, so he quit early on to follow his father’s footsteps. Their father was the Sheriff for many years and it was easy for Joe to step into that world. The youngest, John, he only wanted to do the job he did well, and that was it, no more no less. He preferred the drink and loose women. Jeff had a good life and all he wanted was to work. My father suggested to me one day that Jeff preferred to think about a task rather than think about the things that bothered him. It did provide more money to his family that way though.

My father’s business required frequent maintenance on the equipment. Cleaning them, painting, and repairing. We had a large property where we kept the tractors that weren’t being used, and there was a giant structure with offices, party room, restrooms, storage and a huge section for doing all the stuff the equipment needed. Because of that, Jeff showed up on job sites and performed the work which kept the business in demand. Then he would go to the shop to do paperwork in his office, and after that he would repair, and whatever else, the machines needed.

I often was around him when I would be washing the machines, tending to the landscaping around the offices, and painting the buildings. The brothers were striking enough to make any man envious, as well as get the attention of any woman within line of sight. So, of course I looked, I wasn’t the only one, literally everyone stole glances at them. Jeff was also very friendly and helpful, which to a kid just made him more praise worthy. Sometimes, he would be washing a tractor next to the one I was washing. The type of guy who would always ask the right questions to get a kid talking. He was good at getting me to tell him all the things going on in my life, and he was often making me laugh about things which had been making me angry. On those hot summer days he would take his shirt off as we cleaned, which gave me the opportunity to see how a grown man can look, just by staying active. Of course, I had been working out with Doug for some time around then, and wasn’t embarrassed to take my shirt off, even around Jeff. He was flattering me about my shape while making me laugh at what I could get with it. “The possibilities are limitless!” so it seemed coming from him.

I overheard my father and Jeff’s beautiful wife talking in the office one day. A nice but serious conversation about how she would like to have him home more often. My father’s great idea was to help Jeff build a workshop garage on their property. It would be big enough for some of the smaller tractors and a couple cabs that pull the trailers. After that my father had also made a deal with Jeff, part of his payment for the shop, which I didn’t know about until much later. You see, every time we would go out to Jeff’s, I would go right into the garage they had attached to the house. Jeff kept an old 1978 Camaro Z 28 in dark blue and blue interior, and it would call me in there like a female siren. I didn’t care that it needed work, somehow it made it more alluring to bring it back to life. It didn’t have an engine and was always covered. But, I would look at it so much that I knew every inch by heart. I intended to find one just like it when I could afford it. I guess my father knew just how much I liked it that he talked Jeff into giving me that car, if he agreed to help me put it together. Which was the secondary reason why his wife was able to talk my father into building that shop out there, she wanted that car out of her garage. She knew how much I loved it, she was killing two birds with one stone.

By this time I had one of the best mopeds in the whole county. I even built a small trailer that I could pull stuff with it when I started doing yard work for people. That’s how I began going out to Jeff’s to help work on building the shop. The field needed to be cleared of the trees and rocks. They put a Bobcat skid loader out there so I could use it to move rocks and dirt, in order to create a large place for the building and parking area. My mother would show up occasionally to chat with Jeff’s wife and they would feed me lunch. Jeff’s son was five at the time and he always wanted a ride on the Bobcat and my moped. I remembered what I was like at that age, so I would make him happy with slow rides and fake danger.

The project worked great for Jeff’s wife, it was obvious he would come home much sooner than he normally would, and it was usually right before I would be calling it an end to my day. Of course he would discuss what I had done and what will happen next, it always kept me way past when I wanted to leave. Then he would give me a warm grateful buddy hug. It really all went by so fast that, if I hadn’t been doing so much of it myself, I would have thought it magically appeared. I will never forget the day he and my father asked me to help Jeff push that old Camaro into the new shop. The lighting in there really brought out the sparkle in the blue paint. Jeff asked me to wash it for him, which I did with love.

I didn’t think anything of it when my father and Jeff kept me busy doing things out at the new shop. And, I didn’t even bat an eye when Jeff would tell me about what he was going to be doing to the Camaro next. He tricked me into thinking he hadn’t ever considered what kind of rims it should have, and of course I had thought about that for a long time, so I had the perfect answer for him immediately. I helped him choose the best stereo system offered at the time, was easy cause I knew he was too old to keep up with that type of stuff. He had set up an appointment for a guy to come out for repairs on the seats, but Jeff had something “important” to do for my father, so he had asked me to show the guy what needed done. Somehow, they got the guy in on it too, because he wrangled me into actually doing the work while he supervised, apparently he “injured his wrist.” I didn’t mind though, I remember thinking that I could know how much I helped Jeff with his car whenever I saw him driving it. Also , when I find mine, I’ll know how to fix it up. The one panel on the T-top had a crack in it and my father asked me to surprise Jeff by taking it in my trailer to a guy who can fix it, way on the other side of town. He said not to let Jeff know, because it was a surprise. I didn’t even have to be asked to wax and shine it. I did it whenever I was finished with my work and had a little time, I knew Jeff really appreciated it.

On the day I passed my drivers license test, I was told I would be getting my grandmothers old car to drive. I was fine with it. I was just happy to have an actual car to drive. My parents said my grandparents were dropping it off in the driveway and I can take off in it as soon as we get back. Seriously, I can’t help getting choked up when I think about seeing that Camaro sitting in the driveway with a bow on top. I cried so hard I couldn’t even breathe. I didn’t even notice all the cars parked down the street, but suddenly tons of people came pouring out of the house and I couldn’t help but give everyone such a huge hug for the best present I would never ask for. As we were eating sandwiches and cake we talked about the whole thing, like how it was mine before we even pushed it into Jeff’s shop. I couldn’t get in to drive because I kept crying every time I thought about it. My father asked me why I wasn’t already driving it to my best friend Ty’s house. Through tears I said, “I’m too afraid something will happen to it.”

With watery eyes of his own he told me, “Be very careful with it, and know that you and your passengers safety is the most important thing in that car. Anything else can be fixed.”

I could tell by the look on Ty’s face that he had no idea I was getting that car. Like me he thought I was getting an old green Pinto. I remembered when our friend Tony got his car before us, Ty kept asking Tony to go faster. I kept wondering if Ty was going to ask me to go faster. As I was approaching a curve Ty said, “Slow down, take it easy, we don’t want anything to happen to this beauty.” We both knew that it was funny since he’s always the one wanting to go faster.

I had more things to do for my dad’s business, so I was given an old pickup to drive also. It was good for me too because I could save some wear and tear on the Camaro.

When most of my friends were heading off to college I was offered the same chance many times. I insisted I would rather have that money than go into more schooling and debt. I seriously was happy with my trajectory, and if I ever needed more education later, I would do it then.

In fact, when my friends were coming home on break, they were visiting me in the old 3 bedroom 11/2 bath house I owned. Sure it needed a ton of work, but it was a labor of love. Jeff actually found the place for me because it had a 3 car attached garage and a 2 car detached garage set off to the corner of the property. The guy had died before he could finish the house and so the wife sold it to me for nearly nothing. My father had two brothers who owned a thriving plumbing business and so they were a great help with moving the kitchen and adding an in ground pool and cabana. My one grandfather was a mason and the other had multiple businesses, one of which was landscaping. My mother had a brother who was a framer and a roofer while his son became an electrician. Seriously, it was the coolest thing to see everyone come together to turn that place into something out of magazines.

My old truck was a 1968 Ford F250 4x4 highboy which was the same age as I was. When we bought it from the previous owner, they had added swirls all over it and things hanging from the the headliner that looked like dingle berries. My father let me use the painting bay at the shop and I used some of the candy apple red he used on the cabs of the tractor trailers. I think it turned out nice. Well, an old truck like that needed repairs from time to time, including brakes. I knew it was going to be a little tricky changing the brakes on it. Jeff said to stop out to his shop after work and he would help me change them.

Well, by the time I got out there the sun had completely disappeared with his house completely dark. The two bay doors of the shop were wide open with the lights pouring out way past Jeff’s truck parked in front of it. He heard me pulling up and turned to greet me. Shirtless, as usual when it was hot outside, and his old ripped up jeans when he was gonna get dirty, which was most of the time. Jeff pointed to where he wanted the truck inside and he closed that door with the other one open for air. “Where’s everybody at?” I asked as he started bringing over tools.

“They’re spending the weekend at the in-laws. I’d rather be here doing this.” Thing is, I knew he was being completely truthful. He looked me up and down, “Your looking good, still working out?”

I know I blushed, “Not as much as I should, really just 2 ir 3 times a week.”

Jeff smiled wide, “I am gonna have to get you to show me how to do whatever you’re doing.” Jeff was already getting one of the wheels off.

“Why, you always look sexy, you know, for a guy your age.” He just looked up with a sly grin. “You know I have always worshipped the ground you walk on.” Honestly. I really thought he did know I was telling the truth.

“Yeah, well at least someone appreciates the way I look, certainly not the wife.” He definitely believed that was the truth.

We just let that hang there while we took turns on each wheel. The last one proved to be a whole lot of trouble. One lug was rusted and refused to come easy. The Caliber was not compressing. He was standing beside me bent over while I was on my knees having a hard time with it all. I had sat back on my heels as he was looking it over. His crotch was so close to my face that I could feel the heat from it, along with the smell of a strong man. I tried not to get caught looking at his bulge, but I didn’t do it well enough. Jeff stood straight without backing up. “Well, let me think about this for a minute or two. Just relax and do whatever you want while I think about it.” I felt like he was saying something in code, but I was definitely too afraid. That’s when he nonchalantly reached down to rub his hand on my head and neck. He didn’t pull, but the meaning was clear. He smiled when I reached out to caress that big beautiful bulge. It felt great to finally be squeezing it, but I needed more than that now. It was less than a minute that I was pulling at the buttons along the fly. I got beyond the point of being turned on when I found he didn’t have underwear on. Seeing his sexy bush above the base of the shaft made my mouth water in anticipation. I started licking the exposed part while tugging at the waist to get more. As soon as it sprang out and pressed on my face I opened my mouth to get as much in as I could. I didn’t want to mess around with fake teasing shit, I wanted to make him cum while I have that chance, and I wanted it before he could chicken out.

My hand started twisting along the length in sync with my mouth. He was breathing hard and trembling. I think it was probably 3 minutes since it began that I was trying to swallow as much of his cum as I could. He even held my head still while continuing to pulse and throb in my mouth. Finally he took a deep breath and backed away. Wiping my chin I said, “Thank you I needed that ego boost.”