Sharing - 6. Chapter 5 - Brad

Tim: John has been our rock. He’s generous with his place, his money, his cock. We all depend upon him, love him and want him to have all the happiness he gives us. So when we figured out there was something we couldn’t give him, we set about getting it.

I realize that sounds odd. In my experience, couples seem to close in on each other and lock out everyone else. I guess that would be okay if each person in the couple was able to fulfill every need the other has, but I’ve never seen that work out. So what always seems to happen is one or both feel deprived and eventually, one or both go get what’s been missing in their lives or quietly torture their mate for not giving what they can’t give. Doesn’t make much sense to me.

The next time John went out, we got together to figure out what to do. So far, our group got together by random chance. Well, I did recruit you, Sean. This time, we had an objective. I remember us sitting around the table trying to come up with what we thought John liked.

I suggested he would like a man around his own size. Mark here is kind of in between Sean and I and John. Maybe some one taller. Sean suggested someone more muscular. Mark thought he ought to have a job, be a contributor to the household and a nice guy. We all agreed he had to be hung. We knew we probably wouldn’t find another cock like John’s but we thought that’s where his wants lay. So how to find this man?

Sean: We decided to go on an all out man hunt. Until we found someone, we’d make identifying candidates our first priority every day. It was fun checking out guys with a purpose. Sometimes I‘d take a picture with my phone and try to match him to the university directory. I hung out in the locker room at the U. for weeks checking out the eye candy.

Mark: At try outs for plays and commercials, I told the guys I might have some leads for jobs and collected headshots and resumes.

Tim: I just approached any man who generally fit our criteria, asked his name and number. That worked amazingly well. Of course, it didn’t hurt being the cute little trick that I am.

We collected our candidates' profiles and Sean, secret master of technology, worked up a PowerPoint. It really was fun checking out each guy and then comparing them. We worked it down to the top ten. We set up appointments where we could interview them and check them out more seriously. And we got serious.

Sean: I still think we should have given Gus a shot.

Mark: Jeez, Sean. I’ll give you that Gus sure was built, and probably hung like a horse, but – and this is coming from me, I know I’m not the brightest bulb, even my very loving grandma told me that – he was dumb as dirt. He had never read anything beyond the funny pages.

Sean: Still…(a wistful sigh).

Tim: Many fine candidates, but we all agreed which one was number one and set up the meeting with John. Explaining all this to John was kind of difficult. When we told him of all we had done, he seemed confused. Like he didn’t understand that he was desperate for some back door action. But it was too late. The meeting was in less than an hour. We had invited the candidate to come over to meet us all. The plan was for us all to meet him and see how he would fit in – I mean into the group. We agreed there would be no sex, just conversation. We were determined to handle this on as informed a basis as possible, not just dicks talking.

We three had planned to sneak out once he came in, to let John get his own read on things. I think John was mad at us for interfering, flattered that we cared, and scared. He is shy. He hides that by being strong, but he’s still shy.

Before John could protest anymore, the lobby door buzzer rang. Sean let him in. It seemed like forever until the knock came at the door. I think I could hear all our hearts pounding. Sean let him in and took his coat. In the flesh, he was better than pictures or Sean’s descriptions. Almost as tall as John, all over muscles, and a package that promised to meet our fantasies. We all introduced ourselves, then the three of us made some lame excuse and headed out the door.

John: I didn’t know what to say or do. These three ninnies ran squealing out of the apartment. Leaving me and this guy standing in the apartment. “So did they tell you why you’re here?” I asked him. He mumbled something about a possible room share. He explained – blushing – that he thought Sean might be coming on to him. I agreed that Sean was pretty forward. When he asked if there was something else, I felt really guilty, so I confessed all.

Brad: I felt really bad for John. I could tell he felt set up. He told me that his three interfering roommates/lovers thought he needed something they couldn’t give him. He explained that they had done some kind of systematic search of all the guys in the city and had picked me out. Now, these are four really handsome men. This apartment is fabulous. And they were looking for someone to join their group, not just as a roommate. I admit I was flattered and more than intrigued.

I could see that John was really uncomfortable with the whole scene and I didn’t want to blow it.

John: So your solution was to blow me?

Brad: Seems a bit incongruous, I admit. You asked me if I wanted anything and went over to the kitchen. You offered a beer. I wanted you.

John: Brad pinned me to the refrigerator and began to kiss me. I would have protested – remembering our promise not to have sex – but Brad’s tongue was too far down my throat. I don’t know when he did it, I guess I was preoccupied with his attentions above my neck, but he had managed to unbutton my shirt and drop my jeans.

Tim: That’s about when we came back. Sean, Mark and I started feeling bad about abandoning John with this guy, so after about fifteen minutes we went back up to the apartment. We walked in and there was John alone in the kitchen. He was leaning with his back on the fridge, eyes glazed, mouth open, incoherent. I thought, ‘oh my god’, what have we done? Did that guy Brad beat up John? I ran past the kitchen’s island, as you see it blocks the view from the door, to find a very different scene than the one I imagined. I called the others over to see Brad throating John, I mean nose in the pubes. John tried to say he was sorry, but all that came out of his throat were meaningless gurgles. I think I mentioned that he can’t talk when he’s at the edge. Probably a shortage of blood to the brain. Brad didn’t seem phased in the least by us standing there – a good sign, really. He kept on pleasuring John, who to his credit did gather enough of his senses to try to push Brad away, half heartedly. I think we all recognized John’s ‘I’m cumming’ noises, followed by his sliding down the front of the fridge to the floor.

“I thought we said ‘no sex.” John mumbled about not meaning to. Brad manned up and took full responsibility for taking advantage of John – who was still smiling as a result of the experience.

Sean asked, “So will this one do?”

John replied, somewhat recovered, “he’s pretty special.”

John: Brad took my hand, helped me up, pulled up my pants, tucked in my cock, fastened me up and kissed me long and hard. When, at last, regretfully he broke the kiss, I invited him to sit with me in the living room to get better acquainted – I mean by talking. Sean was already starting preparations for the promised brunch – hey is this a pattern? We invite a guy for some eggs and muffins and go for all out sex? Tim and Mark looked on from the kitchen table. By the way, do you want something to eat? (This last to me, the Reporter).

Brad sat half sideways on the couch to face me. I had unconsciously put my hand on his knee, his nice furry knee. He put his hand on mine and looked into my eyes. His eyes were a kind of amber color with flecks of green. I knew I was liking this man. I guess I must have asked him about his work, he had started telling me about his job at a local sporting goods store. He was the manager of the fitness department and men’s wear, having worked his way up from clerk. He filled in his off hours as a personal trainer and really hoped to make that a full-time career.

Mark: Has a job, two jobs – check.

Tim: And he’s taller than you, Mark, nearly as tall as John – check.

Sean: Very, very athletic – check. But what about the other thing.

Mark: I consider myself a fair judge of horse flesh, and I’m thinking he won’t disappoint. But I think John will find out before long. But is he a nice guy? When I looked over, there were John and he, necking again. Certainly some chemistry there.

Sean announced that brunch was served, frittatas and cornbread, fresh squeezed orange juice and coffee. That broke up John and Brad.

During the meal John told Brad about us, how we relate to each other in bed. All ears were on Brad’s response. “I’ve never really done much ‘catching’, never really had the chance. Most guys I’ve been with want me to top and that suits me fine. Of course, I really like sucking cock.”

We all replied that we had noticed. John blushed. We talked about practical things, too. How we shared responsibilities around the apartment. Sean was an accomplished cook and enjoyed that duty – though everyone else pitched in on clean up. You heard about Mark’s ‘thing’ for cleaning. None of us minded helping there either, but he’s usually ahead of the rest of us, not that we hurry that much. John works lots of hours and does carry the lion’s share of the costs.

John: For which I get to live here enjoying your company, your help, and a pretty good contribution in cash, too. I’m working full time and can afford it. I’m glad to share my good fortune with you.

Mark: Now Tim, he helps with what ever is going on. But mostly he’s the instigator. He gets bored studying, sometimes and comes looking for trouble. By and large, if he can’t find it, he makes it.

Tim: Yeah, I don’t hear you complaining when you’re the one I’m getting in trouble with.

Mark: Nope, I’m not complaining, I’m just kind of warning ole’ Brad here. We finished up brunch. Brad was smart enough to catch on that we wanted to talk about him. Tim reminded us that we had agreed our first meeting was supposed to be to get acquainted – you know no sex, which is pretty tough for five gay men. Brad looked pretty glum as Tim showed him the door.

Tim asked, “So what do you think?”

I said that I liked him, just fine. Sean observed that he met all our criteria, handsomely. Tim seemed very proud of the selection. John was quiet.

After a while, John said, “I’m sorry he had to leave. I’d like to get to know him better.” Knowing looks from the three of us.

Tim reminded us that the first visit was not to have sex and John had not been too good at following that. John protested, feebly, that it was Brad who started it. Tim was about to scold him when there was a knock at the door. It was Brad.

“Did I leave my coat here?”

Tim replied, “Why don’t you come in while we look for it. Now where could it be? I remember taking it from you when you came in.” Tim rummaged about in the hall closet – nothing there. “Strange, that’s where I thought I had hung it up.” He absently opened doors and drawers apparently randomly, until he seemed to ‘find’ it behind a plant in the great room. “Now how could this have gotten there?”

We all looked at Tim suspiciously. His expression was the image of innocence. Then John caught on. “Hey, since Brad left and then came back, this is his second visit.”

Brad looked on confused. John didn’t try to clear things up for him, he just walked over, took Brad in his arms and kissed him. Brad looked over John’s shoulder at the rest of us with a question on his face.

Tim: I said, “Just go for it. We’re all dying to see how this plays out.”

Brad smiled broadly in return and re-engaged with John in a kiss. John led them toward the ‘kennel’ still locked in an embrace, kissing with increasing passion. We followed at a respectful distance, wondering if John would close the door. Nope – the door stayed open, which we took as a sign that we could at least watch. They were naked in a heartbeat. What a beautiful sight. John’s dark hairiness over his lean, gym body. Brad’s smooth, muscled torso with contrasting hairy legs. Both their cocks hung heavily, still becoming erect. It was fascinating. They stood in half embrace, giving room for their cocks to grow. They looked down and watched, the rest of us watched them, too. John’s cock reached full size first, the head purpling with excitement. Brad’s cock continued to swell, at it’s thickest behind the straining head, thicker than John, maybe not quite as long. Both cocks throbbed in time with their increasing heartbeats. John licked his lips and said simply, “this is going to be fun.”

Brad took both cocks into his hand and pointed them up so he could fully hug John. They fell onto the bed and began to explore each other’s bodies with their hands. I got some lube and got on the bed to ready John’s ass. When he felt my touch he shifted to give me more access, welcoming my probing fingers even as he continued making out with Brad. Sean went to Brad, getting out a condom, and after some quite unnecessary stroking, rolled it on Brad’s cock, then added lots of lube.

John and Brad were completely absorbed with each other, kissing and touching. Their hard breathing made their need clear. Mark came over to guide them to the next step. John lay on his back as Mark touched his shoulder. Brad moved gently to lie upon John, moving down and raising his hips so his cock aligned with John’s asshole. Mark gently moved John’s heavy balls out of the way, then guided Brad’s cock against John. John moaned long and low in response to Brad’s cock slow entry into him. Mark lay along side John, asking after John’s comfort with whispers in his ear, all the while caressing John’s cock and balls. John gave himself over to the sensations in his ass and lay smiling. I was so excited, watching all this, I snuggled against Mark’s sweet ass and after some quick lubing, entered him. As I pumped into Mark, he pushed his cock against John. Sean rubbed himself against John’s other side.

Brad began to breathe harder with increased arousal. He pushed in harder, more of his thick cock disappearing into John, until John suddenly winced. Brad stopped, a look of concern on his face. Mark nodded knowingly and whispered to John, “bring you right leg up and turn a little to your left.” The move aligned John’s insides and Brad’s cock easily slid in to the hilt. Each of us breathed out in relief, John the loudest. Then the love making began. I don’t know who set the rhythm, but we all began moving like a giant sex machine. Sean led off the orgasm, shooting against John’s side. Mark was next, his cock squirting onto John’s chest. I was a moment behind him, filling his ass. Brad’s entire body began to flex, his muscles straining, even more beautifully defined. He buried deep into John who arched his back and began pumping load after load onto his own chest. Brad pulled out, ripped off the condom, and leaning back shot his load in an almost continual spout onto John’s face and chest.

Time stood still for a while, we all remained in those positions, frozen, our cocks dripping, aftershocks pulsing. At last, Brad’s straining musculature melted and he collapsed onto John. We all lay together breathing heavily, becoming conscious of the cooling, now runny cum covering us all.

John began to stir, pulling Brad along his body to kiss him. Brad spoke softly, “If that is what making love with you guys is like, I want in.” John enclosed Brad into his arms and held him tightly in response.

I held Mark in my own embrace. “That was beautiful, Mark. How you brought them together and made it all work.” Mark answered with a smile, “you learn a few things on the farm. I used to love helping with mating. And these studs, here” indicating John and Brad, “well they're just like the young bulls we had. When he gets stuck, just move around a bit and in it goes. Everybody’s happy.”

“We better hit the shower before this stuff starts to set up. You guys will be glued together, and while that might seem an attractive idea, once it starts pulling hair, you’ll sing a different tune.” We moved in a group to the largest shower. I got in the shower, then got them in one at a time, washing them off – a distinct pleasure in itself. As usual, getting the cum out of John’s chest hair took the longest, at least it hadn’t congealed too much.

We reassembled in the great room, as much to enjoy the after sex glow as to talk about anything. Brad explained that he had to work a shift that afternoon, so had to get going. John walked him to the door with many endearments and was kind of sad after Brad had gone.

Sean asked, “So when do we see him again?”

“I said I’d call him” John responded. “I hope soon. You guys did an amazing job picking him out.”

“Well, to review, what do we know about Brad? He’s a hard worker, employed, built, and from what I see, a really nice guy.”

“And hung, majorly hung” Sean added. “Seems perfect, so far.”

“Do we date him? I mean, see how he interacts with us out or here during the week? We know he’s a yummy fuck. But we’ve got a good thing going among us four. Does a permanent fifth make sense?”

“It will spread the budget by one more. That will take some burden off of John.”

“It’s my gift to you guys, not a burden. I’ve got more than I need” John reminded them.

“Still, it’s a consideration. What about household work. It’s not really too bad now, we all share in it. That’s something that will only show up after he’s around for a while.”

“I think we should have him over whenever he’s available, invite him to meet us if we go out, date him, like Tim said” Mark sounded eager.

So the ‘trial’ period began. John called Brad and said we really liked him and we’d all like to get to know him better. He explained that we were a complicated group and wanted him to have the chance to understand how we would all work together. The start had been fantastic, but daily life might have him and one of us reconsider his joining the group. John said Brad sounded a little disappointed, but promised to come over the next day.

The ‘kennel’ was subdued that night, everyone seemed preoccupied with their own thoughts. I know I fell asleep thinking about the incredibly hot scene that happened in the same spot earlier in the day.

I woke up to the sound of the lobby door buzzer. Wha? I met Sean coming back into the room asleep on his feet. “Brad, he’s on his way up.” Sean dropped back onto the bed, asleep. I poked John and Mark - not that way - to let them know Brad was on his way, then went back to answer the knocking on the door. Brad was way too bright-eyed for that hour of the morning. I explained that we had not yet gotten up – he said he kind of guessed that. He said I looked cute in just a tee-shirt, and squeezed my bare ass playfully. I was surprised I hadn’t put on shorts – I guess I was sleepier than I thought. Brad gave me a kiss on the head and sent me back to bed. It was a while later that I again awoke, this time to the smell of coffee brewing and some clattering sounds in the kitchen. Ah, Sean is up and cooking. Then I felt Sean reach for my cock and snuggle it between his ass cheeks. Oh, that’s why I wasn’t wearing shorts. Must be John in the kitchen. Then what’s this big, hot sausage against my back? Definitely John. Mark? No he was merrily making cleaning noises in the bathroom. Oh, Brad had come in earlier, oh yeah.

“Get up sleepy heads” came a voice from the doorway. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Do we have to?” answered the grumpy boys in the bed.

“Don’t make me make you” came the playfully threatening voice.

Mark all but skipped across the room ahead of us as we stumbled into the kitchen area. Brad had set the table and was putting a nice breakfast on it. Points for Brad, can cook, self motivated, seeks to please. He came around to each of us, giving a big kiss and various erotic gropes. Well, none of us was wearing much. Did I mention that he was attired in the briefest of shorts and a way too tight fitting athletic shirt. He was more scrumptious than the meal he had prepared. More points.

A little too cheerily, Brad asked, “So what do we do today?” Minus a point, well okay, one half point for the cheeriness at this hour. “How about we go to the beach? I know a great spot, and we can pack a picnic lunch. It’s going to be a great day.”

The thought of Brad in a Speedo crossed my mind, most favorably. Everyone else was suddenly free of other obligations to go. ‘Activity Director’? Not a role I had thought we needed, but hey, why not? Brad bustled us through showers and worked with Sean to get the picnic packed. John somewhat magically produced beach towels I had never seen before. Brad had brought a bathing suit, towel and Frisbee with him. Point for planning ahead. Sean made a fair production of finding his sun screen. And Mark waited along side Brad by the door – all eagerness for the outing. Of course, when Mark is beside you, he’s really all over you, he just has to touch. Brad seemed pleased by the attention.

We all trouped down to the train station and caught the train to the beach. We stopped at a bath house to change into bathing suits. Then a short walk to Brad’s special spot and we set up our towels. Not many people on the beach. We did make a fair stir, five guys, each with their own handsomeness, even if I do say so myself. Brad lined us up in a row to apply sunscreen – rotate – to get the other side. It was fun to see Brad’s cock grow in his square cut suit when Sean rubbed his chest. Yum. Well, any further action would have to wait until we got home.

Mark joined Brad in tossing the Frisbee – I suppose it’s obligatory on the beach. John, Sean, and I lay on the towels, enjoying the warm sun. While early in the season, it did get hot. Brad came up and grabbed John by both hands and led him into the sea. Mark grabbed Sean and I and dragged us in, too. After some boyish splashing and underwater groping, we lay down again to dry off. Out came the picnic lunch which disappeared too quickly. “I think you’ve had enough sun, Sean” and we packed up to catch the next train back into the city and to the apartment.

I had watched Brad interact with each of us with affection and fun. He had pitched in with breakfast and organized our day at the beach. It just might be him trying to impress us, and it did.

Once back in the apartment, John sat with Brad quietly talking. “I really want you to stay tonight.”

“I think I should go. It’s been a great day, and I’ve gotten to know you all a lot better. But I heard your concerns. I want this to work out, so I’m going to ignore my cock – and yours and Mark’s ass and the other cuties – and go. I’ll check in later in the week, maybe we can do dinner on Wednesday. If you guys want to stop by the gym I work at – I’m around in the mornings. I’ll get you in and we can work out together.”

“Don’t go.”

“Look, it’s about killing me to leave. I can’t believe I’m going. I never would have before. But I want a piece of what you guys have together, the loving, not just the love making. And as I furiously masturbate tonight, I’ll have each of you in my mind.” And he was gone.

There we four stood in shock staring at the door that had closed behind Brad.

“What a nice guy.”

“It will be a long time until Wednesday.”

“I think I love him.”

“All that cum going to waste.” This from Mark. John grabbed him in a headlock and we all tickled him into submission.

“For a moment, I thought we had gotten past sex as a reason to like Brad” John chastised.

“Well you got a chance at that fabulous cock.”

“You’ll get your turn.”

We all speculated what our meeting with Brad would be like, how he would behave, what he thought of us. By the appointed day and hour, only Mark and Tim were available to meet him. I’m sure John and Sean were very sorry to miss the chance, but John had an important client to meet and Sean a chance to earn some money by working at a party. They looked pretty glum when they left.

Brad had suggested we meet at a café with a garden seating area. I had only been there in the winter and had never seen the outdoor space. The restaurant was in an old brick townhouse, comfortable yet elegant. Mark drew all eyes as we passed through the front room bar, the back dining room and out the French doors to the garden.

We spotted Brad, already seated and joined him at his table. He rose to greet each of us with a kiss and hug. On sitting, he leaned over to me and asked, “Is it always like that when he enters a room? I mean everyone stops what they're doing to stare at him. He is so beautiful, but I mean, that’s gotta be annoying.” I assured him it was, but I admitted to a hint of jealousy and my own endless infatuation with our lovely Mark.

Brad had already ordered a bottle of rosé – well, he is gay – which chilled in a bucket of ice. After we had ordered, Brad began nervously, “I’m really glad you guys could come. John called to tell me he and Sean were working. I guess schedules must be pretty confused among the four of you.”

I agreed. I explained that at any given time, the mix of who was in the apartment changed. Every semester, Sean and my schedule changed and Sean and Mark sometimes travelled to visit their families. I teased Mark that I didn’t really know what he did most of the time.

Mark replied huffily, “I go to auditions, take dance and acting classes, look for a job, and in the event you hadn’t noticed, keep the apartment clean – which is pretty tough with the way some of you leave towels on the floor, clothes everywhere. As a matter of fact, I do believe you are the worst.”

I cut him off, somewhat embarrassed, “Let’s not squabble in front of the b-o-y.”

Brad looked on amused. “I may be a dumb jock, but I can spell. I can relate to messy roommates. I live with two of my cousins. They are unbearable slobs, sweet guys, but absolute pigs. Their mom, my aunt comes over once in a while with a bull dozer to clean up the worst. I can’t believe how quickly it returns to a dump. I keep my own room and bathroom in pretty good shape. Their girlfriends always visit the “gay wing” when they visit to use the bathroom. I love my cousins, but I’ve been saving all I can to get a place of my own. It’s really expensive to get started – you guys know that.”

I agreed, thinking of my own wonderful luck in meeting John and being given the chance to live far beyond my means in a loving environment. Mark was a little vacant on the issue. I know he’s deeply appreciative of the loving space we all share and how he is valued.

“Still, I feel I need to move out. My cousins are totally cool with me being gay, but it's awkward having a love life. I’m not comfortable having anyone over – not that I have much time. By the time I find someone I want to be with, even casually, and we settle on a place and time, there’s not much romance left. I’ve been thinking if I had a place of my own, maybe I wouldn’t be so lonely.”

I told him I had trouble believing he was ever in need of someone to have sex with. “Yeah, I could probably get sex, but I want more. And now that I see what you guys have…” His voice trailed off.

Our meal arrived, though I really don’t remember what we ate. It must have been good, though, since it didn’t last long. There was an awkward feeling among us, we needed to break the ice to start the conversation.

Brad gathered himself up and leaned toward Mark and me. “I’m going to be shameless. I want to be with you guys. From what I’ve seen so far, you live together in a way I never even imagined. I can feel the love and peace at your place. My game plan is to get on the good side of each one of you. So far, I’ve cooked with Sean, seduced John. How do I get to you two?”

Mark spoke up, “As the official power bottom of the group, I’ve already seen you in action, so I’ll be wanting some of what John got. Beyond that, unless everything I’ve seen about you so far is a put on, I’m eager to have you join us.”

Brad: Mark was easy to read, his beautiful face an open book of his feelings. But Tim, I couldn’t figure him out. So I kept on being brazen. “And you, Tim? You seem to be the cool observer in this team. I think John is a deep analyzer, but it seems like he has all this love he can’t share enough, and I’m thinking that can cloud his judgment. So what are you, Tim, looking for me to do? What do you need to see in me to accept me?”

Tim took a long pull at his wine glass while looking me over. He breathed in deeply and exhaled. I guess I kind of shocked him, made him really think about what having me join their group would mean. At last, he spoke.

“Well, let’s see where we are. Sean likes you. Mark is totally sold. John is over the moon over you. Which has got me thinking. If I’m holding back – as you suggest – and that kind of rings true – why? I guess I’m feeling a little jealous over John’s reaction to you. Still, it was for John that we got this whole thing started. And John has always been the giver – and not just in the bedroom. The rest of us are really dependent upon him. Sure we would survive, somehow, without him, but life would suck. Now you, you already have a life, a job, you’re gorgeous and giving. And John is nuts about you. Yeah, that’s it. I’m feeling jealous that you’re the man I’ll never be and I’m afraid I’ll lose something with John.”

Mark leaned over to hug Tim. “I hope you know that’s not true. John loves you. You’re the one who got this whole thing started. You could have been a jerk and taken advantage of John. But you didn’t. You helped him realize what his life could be – sharing with others, sharing with me. You guys tease me about the way I was living before I met you. You guys saved me. I knew what I was doing, but I came to think I wasn’t worth anything, that I was just this face and body and that I deserved all the degradation my whoring life received. Then you opened your home and hearts to me. And you Tim, you’re the fun and wit that makes it all work, for all of us.”

Tim was crying. Mark was crying. I was crying. My mind was screaming, ‘let me in, too, please.’

A few soppy moments later, Tim spoke up. “And I tease you about being dumb. If I’m the fun, you’re the heart, Mark. Everything we all feel but are too ‘sophisticated’ to say, you wear it on your sleeve. Is it possible your inner beauty outshines your very luscious outer beauty? I love you, too.”

They kissed and then seemed to remember my presence. Tim perked up. “Look at him, Mark” referring to me. “He’s so sad and anxious. I think he’s got a major boner for all of us.”

“Quit teasing him, Tim. You know you love him, too. I’m glad you’ve worked through those feelings. That may be the best part of getting to know Brad. We’ve each had to face things in ourselves and about our relationship. Thank you Brad, for being so patient with us.”

“Mark’s right. It’s taken less time than I thought possible, but we’re at a whole new place as a group, much more conscious of who we, as a group, are. And that’s pretty much thanks to you, Brad. I admit it was the physical stuff that caught my attention. But you’ve stepped up as a real man and taught us about ourselves. It’s not my place to ask you to move in, but I want you to.”

My heart swelled. I was being accepted. It was like winning the grand prize in life.

Tim stood up and called out, “Group hug. Now let’s go home.”

To my “you mean it?” Tim and Mark put their arms through mine and walked me out of the restaurant and all the way to their apartment. When we got there, John and Sean had not returned. I had a seat in the great room while Tim and Mark did those ‘just got home things’ like checking the answering machine, a little quick tidying up – yes it was Mark - and the like.

I heard a key in the door and John came in. He spotted Tim in the kitchen area and called over to him, “So how did it go? I’m dying to hear what you thought about him. Do you think it will work out? Does he like us? You don’t think he’s too weirded out by us all being together? Do you think he’s disappointed in us? Did you find out if he has a boyfriend? A girlfriend? Oh, god, a wife? I knew it, he doesn’t want me or us. I blew it. I came on too strong and now I’ll never see him again. It felt so perfect on Sunday at the beach. I guess I scared him off.”

Tim did try to get a word in on John’s anxiety storm, but gave up and waited for John to subside, then just pointed across the room at me. I stood up, smiling sheepishly, embarrassed at having heard John’s fears.

Mark took me by the arm and led me over to John. “I think someone needs a hug.”

“More than that, I’m guessin’” John’s eyes were filled with tears. This all meant so much to him. I held him tight, kissing him and caressing his hair. I wanted to take away all his fears and reassure him that they were unfounded.

“You still sticking with your ‘no’ vote?” Tim teased John.

“I’m going out on a limb here,” I ventured, “but I’m thinking this is working out? I’m in for the trial period?”

John just held me tighter. “Please stay tonight.”

“I didn’t bring my jammies.”

“I don’t think you’ll need those – like ever.”

“No toothbrush, either.”

“I’ll have to take back those ‘be prepared’ points’” Tim warned.

Mark chimed in, “John buys those by the bushel, we can scare one up for you.”

“I guess all I need are some condoms.”

“We got you covered – ahem – there, too.”

Again we heard the key in the door.

Tim whispered to me, “Quick, go hide in the bedroom so we can surprise Sean.”

I could hear through the door. Sean came in sounding weary. “Damn those old queens and their parties. Nothing I did was good enough. It wasn’t my fault their cat ate the canapes. They felt bold enough to pinch my ass, though. I’ll bet I have bruises.” He paused. “So what are you all standing around for? It’s nice that you waited up for me. Oh no. The dinner with Brad was tonight. So was he a complete jerk or something? I thought things were going so well. Oh, John, you look upset. Oh no. And I was so looking forward to another round like last week. Well anyway, come here handsome, I’ll make you feel better. There, there, you’re trembling. He wasn’t that good looking anyway. And just because he has a big dick doesn’t make him a good lover. I’ll bet he was looking for a way to take advantage of us. I should have known better than to bring that muscle Mary in here.”

I opened the door to find Sean embracing John, his back to me as he continued his tirade. John’s trembling opened into the suppressed laughter it was.

“He’s behind me, isn’t he?” Sean turned around to see me standing, also laughing. “You mother fucking assholes. You let me go on, knowing he’d hear me and now I’ve messed things up.”

“Come here” I held my arms wide for him. Sean scuffled across the space, mumbling apologies. “I think it's sweet how you try to protect John – and the rest of you for that matter. I’ll just know not to piss you off after you’ve been working.”

You know, I don’t remember the details of all we did that night. I know it was fun and judging by the number of used condoms spread around the bed the next day and that kind of buzzy, well rubbed flesh feeling I had in some unusual places on my body, we did it a lot.

The next morning Tim organized showers, again, Sean whipped up some breakfast, and Mark found some of his and John’s clothes for me to wear.

John packed up the messenger bag he took to work and he and I went off, kissing each of the others as we went out the door. John held my hand as we walked down the street and kissed me deeply as we parted him to his office, me to the gym where I had a training appointment. In somewhat of a daze, I went through the day.

During the break before my afternoon shift at the sports store, I stopped back at my cousin’s place and packed a bag. I left a note saying I might be away for a while and that I’d call. I also included a line that they’d have to keep things clean on their own from now on. I was done at six that day and feeling like a sit-com dad, went to what I hoped would be my permanent home. I buzzed from the lobby, the door was opened. I could hear them before I got up a flight of stairs.

“He’s here.”

“Brad’s home.”

“Now we’re all here. I was so worried he wouldn’t show up.”

“Welcome home, honey.”

I was surrounded with many kisses of welcome and felt bold enough to say “What’s for dinner? I’m starving.”

It truly was like coming home. Coming home to people who wanted me to be with them, who I wanted to be with.

Over dinner, John leaned toward me and said, “You’ve been quiet this evening. What’s on your mind?”

I’m afraid I was overcome. Yes, big tough Brad had tears on his cheeks. “It’s all so beautiful, you’re all so beautiful. I want to make you happy, always.”

John held me. It was nice being held by a big strong man. He kissed my ear gently. “I know how you feel. It is beautiful, and you’re part of that now.”

Sean started to clear up the dinner. “Help me out here, I think I feel an early bedtime coming on.”

That night, it was more about connecting. Sure there were lots of used condoms around the room in the morning – we are guys, after all – but the touching was less heated, more intimate. By god, I was happy.