Sharing - 10. Chapter 9 - John's Business Trip

Reporter: So you’ve told me about difficulties with family and the kind of tough choices that life presents. That’s pretty run of the mill. You’re a group of gay men, most people expect promiscuity and cheating. You can’t tell me no one’s eye – or dick – has roamed.

Tim: Well, there was that business trip you took to Singapore, John.

Reporter: All eyes turned toward John who hung his head.

John: Yeah, there was that trip. I’ll blame it on the circumstances and a dream I used to have, but yes, I had an affair outside the group.

Mark: Truth be told, it didn’t really bother us much, Lord knows, we weren’t waiting around for him to come back, we went at it day and night as usual. I don’t think anyone expected him to be celibate. Tim and I even snuck a special present into John’s luggage.

John: While I appreciated the thought, that nearly kept me out of Singapore. Imagine my embarrassment when the customs official comes up with a package labeled, ‘in case you get lonely’ stuffed with condoms, lube, and a cock ring. He did let me in, but I had to put up with some very uncomfortable and knowing winks.

Mark: I, for one, never gave any thought to getting any away from home – there’s always so much to get right here. But John was away for months. My balls are getting blue just thinking about it, and I got off a couple of times this morning.

John: Thanks, Mark, but I chose to get involved with someone and it didn’t come out well, for him or me.

Reporter: With all that build up, you’ve got to tell it.

John: As Tim mentioned, I had a trip to Singapore. The senior partner at the architectural firm I work at had become very ill suddenly. The junior partner was expecting a child at any moment. That left me, quite a few levels down, since I was the only other one who had worked on the project. We were being called in to evaluate the impact of what was feared were shortcuts in the construction of a major hotel. The engineering firm asked us to consult since we had done the original designs. This was a major project for an important client so I found myself flying to Singapore for “as long as it takes.”

It’s a beastly flight, even in first class. My firm had set me up in a small hotel near the construction site where we’d be doing most of our work. It was really more like a private home, mansion really, with large suites of rooms in an overly elegant style, comfortable, yet intimidating.

The next morning, at least I guess it was morning I was so jet lagged, I met up with the team of other architects and engineers. It took a while to get used to the local accents, but since everyone spoke English of some form, we were able to get down to work.

The hotel we were building was huge, so it took days and days to go over the original specs and identify all the changes. Early on, one of the engineers, Dan, stood out as having the right expertise to quickly spot issues. Since I knew the original design, he and I started working closely together, twelve or more hours a day.

One evening, we both realized that we hadn’t had a break or stopped for lunch – maybe it was my stomach growling. Dan laughed and suggested we stop for the night and get something to eat. Up to that point it had been all work. As we sat down at a table in a local restaurant, I realized all I knew about Dan was his name and that he was one hell of an engineer. I guess I knew he was from the States by his accent, but that was it.

I began our conversation with “Dan, I’m John. Pleased to meet you. Let’s be polite this time and find out if there’s a human being on the other side of our work table.” He laughed and admitted he could be pretty intense. He said his wife would scold him for getting too involved with school projects with his kids and not know when to let up. As he told about his family, his face lit up. It was clear that he loved them, was proud of them, missed them. “Your family sounds wonderful, and I’ll bet you’re the best father“.

For a moment I was hesitant to talk about my own ‘family’ but then thought ‘what the hell’, they’re my family and I love them, am proud of them, miss them. “I live with four other guys. We’re all gay and have made our own family.” Dan was a little too quiet, I was afraid I had shocked him. When I asked, “are you alright with me being gay?” He blustered, “of course, of course. It makes no difference to me.” I was a little concerned that I had damaged, if not destroyed our working relationship. By then our food and drinks had arrived. Once we had something in our stomachs, any tension between us disappeared, to my great relief.

We talked long into the night about work issues, making surprising progress in a more relaxed setting. Suddenly tired, we said good night and each went to our own hotels to get some rest before things got going again in the morning.

Even after staying up late, Dan and I were the first on site in the morning. We worked in a temporary office set up on a high floor, where construction had been halted, pending the inquiry on construction issues. We had only been there a short while when we became aware of noises from the street below. We thought it odd that no one else had come to the office, but understood when we looked down to the street in front of the building. Normally at this hour, the street was packed with cars struggling across the city. Today it was filled with people. To one side were a row of army or police in riot gear backed up by tanks. On the other side were crowds of people with placards. The police side was very still, but the crowds were shouting in unison.

Dan and I looked at each other with concern. “I guess we’re safe up here” he ventured.

I suggested we walk around the perimeter of the building to see if there was a way out. Nope, we were surrounded. At that point the telephone rang. It was the project coordinator. “Damn, I was afraid you eager beavers would be in early” came the response to my telling him Dan and I were there. “There’s a big protest against the government, I don’t have a clue what it’s about, but you’re in the middle of it now. Let me call the consulate and some contacts in the government to see if we can get you an escort out of there. These things sometimes go on for days. Let’s pray it doesn’t go violent. The police can be merciless.” He hung up and Dan, who had been listening on an extension, shrugged and said “what the hell”.

We got back to work, nowhere we could go anyway. Night had begun to fall when the phone rang again. It was the project coordinator. “I’ve been busting my butt all day. John, your hotel is just across the square, right?” I confirmed that this was so. “At eight o’clock precisely, a battalion of police will escort you from the lobby level to your hotel. I’m sorry, Dan, you’ll have to stay with John, there’s no way we can get you out of the area. Because of the protest, there are no more rooms available, either. They are already over capacity giving refuge to many others. The protesters occupy the fifteen blocks around the construction site. I still don’t have a clue what this is all about, but I’ll be happier knowing you’re both at John’s hotel. It’s one of those old line colonial establishments built when they had to defend themselves routinely. Nice place, too. Remember be in the lobby at eight.”

So that was our escape strategy. Let me tell you, we were down in the lobby by seven thirty, hiding behind the reception desk. At eight, we heard someone knock on the glass doors. I admit I was terrified. I think Dan was too. We peeked over the desk like scared rabbits. Outside the door were dozens of police in riot gear: amour, shields, big guns and all. I felt a bit like a damsel in distress – Dan laughed when I told him and said he did too.

The guard surrounded us as we went outside and shuffled us across the square. I could feel how close the protesters were, just feet away behind the police. The protesters knew something was up and surged against the police line. The line held and we made it to the iron gates of the hotel’s court yard. The police guard kind of squeezed us between the gates and held the perimeter. We were met by the hotel’s formidable security force and rushed into the lobby.

The hotel manager greeted us in the lobby. “We are so glad you gentlemen have arrived. These are difficult times, to be sure. In consideration of the circumstances, we suggest you remain in your rooms. Unfortunately, we cannot offer you a room “the hotel manager addressed Dan, “but we ask your indulgence. Would it be at all possible to share accommodations with your associate?”

Dan didn’t hesitate, “sure, that’ll be fine.”

The manager continued. “We are most grateful for your understanding. We will arrange everything for your comfort and have a guest package sent up immediately. Unhappily, the current situation requires us to close our dining room, but room service will happily meet any dining or refreshment needs.”

As we rode up in the elevator, Dan offered to sleep on the couch.

“I’m afraid there isn’t a couch, per se. The room is more set up for tea with the Queen. There are these little, gilt edged settees, but nothing you could sleep on. And the only bed in the room is a double, not even queen sized. It didn’t matter to me, being there alone, but it’s going to be close quarters.

“The floor?” Dan suggested.

“Marble with a few oriental rugs tossed about.”

Dan smirked, “I never thought I’d be sleeping with the queen.”

“Ha ha. I tell you my deep dark secret and you make jokes.” I was pleased Dan felt comfortable enough to joke about my being gay. But now all my anxiety came up. How weird would it be for a straight man to be in the same room as a gay man, even more in the same bed?

We arrived at the floor and I showed Dan into the suite. The décor was Rococo with Asian influence, pretty, but not very functional. The sitting room had a faux fireplace, the two petite settees and a table for two. The bedroom had just enough room for the double bed. The balance of the suite was an elaborate bathroom, easily the size of the other rooms combined.

Dan laughed as he toured the room. “I think this is what my daughter has in mind for her room and my wife would kill for that bathroom. I feel like I should be wearing velvet knee britches in here.”

“Lucky for you, I have an extra pair” I teased.

There was a discrete knock at the door, which I opened to find the concierge with a large bundle. He proceeded into the bedroom and unpacked, carefully placing several shirts, underwear, socks, trousers and robe in drawers and in the closet. He then laid out an elaborate toilet kit in the bath, arranging these items in parallel to my own. He then lay out pajamas on one side of the bed. Refusing a tip, the concierge discretely retired from the suite.

“Looks like we’re in for the long haul. I’m afraid I don’t have any pajamas. Even as a kid, things got tangled up in them.” I revealed hesitantly.

“I’m with you on that. Always slept in the nude.” There was an awkward pause.

Another discrete knock at the door, which I opened to reveal a liveried waiter who pushed a drinks and hors d’oeuvres cart into the room. He asked what we would like, made doubles and some additional drinks in a pitcher and, like the concierge retired with the complements of the management.

“They don’t treat me like this in my hotel” Dan said.

“This is new treatment, for me too. They said they were grateful for your understanding. I guess they’re willing to show their gratitude.”

We sat with the daintiness the formal sitting room seemed to enforce, but enjoyed the drinks and snacks while talking about our educational backgrounds and professional experiences. Room service delivered an overly elaborate version of what we ordered. It was very good, but the profusion of silver wear, glass wear, china, linens, bell covers became a challenge to manage – with any grace anyway. More than one silver dome cover clanged across the marble floor.

As we finished the last of a fairly notable vintage wine – the several drinks and two bottles of wine may have contributed to our clumsiness – the lights went out. We felt the air conditioning – nearly silent to that moment – wheeze its last cool breath.

“If this black out lasts, it could get pretty hot in here. Do we dare open a window?”

I opened one of the windows a crack and was greeted by the twin blasts of hot, humid air and shouts of the crowd of protesters still gathered below accompanied by commands bellowing from a bull horn. I closed the window. “Really good sound insulation.”

“Not much to do now but go to bed.” I was relieved Dan said it first. “Why don’t you get ready first” he offered.

Dan washed up and brushed his teeth. I went in the bathroom as he exited. I cleaned up too but was hesitant to come out of the bathroom, not sure what I’d find. Though the room was dark, I could easily see the still folded pajamas tossed on the small chair across the room. Dan lay on the bed under a sheet. In one motion, I shucked my drawers and got into the bed, pulling the sheet over me.

For a long while we lay side by side on our backs, careful not to accidentally touch each other, the tension was palpable.

“You asleep?” I asked.

“You’ll know when I am, my wife says I snore.”

“One of my roommate’s snores, he stops if we suck his co- ” I stopped mid word. Not going there. I rolled away from Dan, my back to him and tried to forget there was a man, a damned attractive man, in the same small bed. I could smell his scent, accentuated by the heat it into a very appealing musk. I could feel the heat of his body and sometimes the hairs on his arms and legs when they nearly touched mine. I told myself, over and over “I’m not going to get horny, I’m not going to get horny.” My cock wasn’t listening and stretched out before me, the head beyond the side of the bed. My cock throbbed, demanding relief. When I moved to touch it, the bed creaked. Couldn’t beat off, couldn’t sooth myself with Dan in the bed. Just as I thought I would go out of my mind with the heat and my need, the air conditioning groaned back to life and began to cool the room. I might still be crazy with desire, but at least it was cooling off. That I could handle, for a while.

I was waiting to be sure Dan was asleep so I could beat off in the bathroom with some discretion, but fell asleep. I had wild, sex filled dreams. It was like being fifteen again. I awoke to the twin sensations of my cock hard and aching and a warm body against mine. The room had gotten very cold and we must have pushed off the sheets in our sleep when the room was still hot. An arm draped across my chest, legs bent spooning me, and a quite hard cock pressed against my back. It felt so good, warm and comforting – and then I remembered where I was and who was snuggled against me.

My mind began to race. Was Dan conscious of touching me? Did this mean anything? Was it just a normal physical reaction to bodies touching, seeking warmth in a cold room?

Dan stirred, mumbled something, ran his arm down my chest and pressed his cock against me. I wanted to enjoy this touch, but was afraid Dan would be angry, even violent if he found himself touching me, even unconsciously. I gently moved his arm off of me and tried open room between us by moving closer to the edge of the bed. In his sleep – I’m pretty sure – he moved after me and draped his arm back over my hip and spread his fingers into my pubic hair. He must have felt the heat coming off my raging cock. He began to massage me just above the root of my cock. He began to rhythmically thrust his cock against my ass. I was going wildly out of my mind.

I decided I had to stop this, it was an accident that would at least embarrass Dan, if not mortify him. He’d been away from his wife longer than I had been away from my lovers. This was just his body’s natural reaction. I untangled his fingers from my crotch hair, pushed his arm back and rolled him on his back. His cock slapped against his stomach.

“Dan? Dan? You need to wake up.” I cautiously coaxed.

“What? What is it?” Sleeping men, gay or straight are all the same.

“Dan, I don’t want to embarrass you, but you were up against me in your sleep.”

“Oh man, I’m sorry. I was dreaming that I was with someone, it felt really good.” He looked down at his still throbbing cock. “Geez. I’m really sorry. It’s been a while since I got any.”

“Now, were I come from, we have a saying, ‘never waste a hard cock’. And in my quite informed opinion, that thing isn’t going down without some help.” Dan smiled thinly but said nothing. I figured he was way past being embarrassed and threw caution to the wind. I reached over and ran my fingers down the length of his cock. It throbbed at my touch. I looked into his eyes and asked, “Is this alright?”

He seemed to struggle a bit, and I’m afraid his need for orgasm overcame any normal inhibition. He put his hand on mine and wrapped my hand around his balls, spreading his legs for easier access, sighing at the touch.

“I’m going to suck your cock” I said at the same time looking for permission.

“I know” he responded.

I moved over his body, touching his cock with my tongue just above where our joined hands clutched his balls. With slow flicks I took the journey up to his cockhead. Glancing up to see his reaction, I only saw his head thrown back in ecstasy. I pursed my lips and slowly pressed against his cockhead, forcing his cock past my lips. He moaned, pushing his cock into my mouth. I worked my way down his cock in a slow, continuous motion, stretching open my throat, popping his cock head deep inside me. He cried out like he had received an electric shock. I created a strong vacuum and worked my throat muscles on his cock.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” Yes, he had begun to pray.

I had begun to run out of air and had to back off his cock, but kept the suction hard on him and begun to knead his balls. Dan began to thrash on the bed. With only his cock head in my mouth, I was able to catch my breath. I began to flick my tongue on the underside of his cock head.

“Please, please, please.” He was begging for release.

I filled my mouth with his cock, not into my throat this time, and sucked gently. I could feel his pounding heart slow a little. I could do this all night and I think he sensed I was far from taking him to orgasm. His placed his hand on my shoulder with affection.

“Thank you. Thank you.” Gratitude, even before cumming. Dan was a gentleman.

Then he shocked me. He ran his hand from my shoulder, along my side and reached over to take my cock into his hand. He stroked me with a loose grip, my cock throbbed at his touch. I varied the intensity of my sucking, playing with his response. He began to stroke me faster, telegraphing his need to cum.

“Please.” A whisper of profound need.

As much as I was enjoying Dan’s deep physical response, I understand the basic needs of a man. I began to suck harder and moved my mouth up and down his cock rhythmically. Dan grabbed the sheets in his free fist and pushed his hips up, bracing for climax. I felt his cockhead swell in my mouth which a moment later was filled by spurt after spurt of Dan’s cum. His body was locked by the tension of his orgasm for a long minute, then melted into complete relaxation. I moved up to face him and made a show of swallowing his orgasm, licking my lips with satisfaction. His cock pulsed again, shooting one more gob of cum onto his stomach. I greedily lapped it up. Then moved my face to his, wanting desperately to kiss him, to share the remnants of his gift of cum to me. I suppressed my desire for fear of alarming him. Somehow a kiss is more intimate than sucking a cock.

Though, not able to move after the intense orgasm, he still held my cock in his hand. I put my hand over his and began to stroke. He made no move to withdraw his hand from mine. I shifted my body to lie on my back, moving him to face me on his side, still stroking me. I moved my hand down my shaft so that both hands could grasp my cock while stroking. I cupped my other hand over my cock head, teasing it with a slow twisting motion – something Tim had taught me. All I needed was a hand tugging my balls to achieve my ideal. Then there it was, Dan switched hands on my cock and took my balls into his free hand.

“Pull them, pull my balls hard.” I ordered. He applied gentle pressure.

“Hard!” He tightened his grasp and applied strong pressure. Yes! This is it. I blasted cum onto my face, onto my chest, onto my stomach. We kept pumping my cock, Dan pulling my balls, more gently now, squeezing more and more cum out of me.

“Whoa. That big cock of yours really cums a lot. Or maybe it’s your balls, they’re massive.”

“Uh huh.” It takes me a while to regain the power of speech after I cum.

“I know you wanted to kiss me before.” Dan used his tongue to lap up my cum off my face, then kissed me, forcing his tongue, sticky with cum, into my mouth. I sucked it off, returning the full force of his kiss, wrapping him in my arms and pulling him close.

“Dan, oh Dan.” I could feel my heart pounding, not like when I’m sexually excited, but differently, somehow like my whole chest was beating. We clung to each other, kissing and kissing.

Then my heart felt full and heavy with dread. I felt hot tears begin to fall down my face. “My god, what have I done to you? What have I done to your family, your wife. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.” I pulled away from Dan feeling more guilty and distraught then ever before in my life.

Dan caught me in his arms. He tried to sooth me with kisses and gentle touches, caresses on my chest over my heart. “Shhh, shhhh. You didn’t, we didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do. It was my choice and I wanted, no needed to be with you. You didn’t hurt my family, you didn’t betray my wife. I did. But I don’t see it like that, betrayal. I’m not looking for justification, but what we’ve done, it’s a part of me, part of who I am. I never thought I would ever be with a man, but I’ve wanted to, always. I’m glad I had the courage to reach out for it when this opportunity came about. And you John, you’re so handsome, talented, desirable. There have been times this week you were driving me wild. I would lean over you when you were working on the drawings, just to smell your hair. It was all I could do not to kiss your neck. Please forgive me for taking advantage of you.”

Now his tears came. I caught them on my tongue, salty dew drops, and fed them back to him. This was going too far, too fast. I couldn’t hold back. My heart ached in my chest, like never before. Was this that searing love of my dream?

“Make love to me, John. Please fuck me before this night ends. I’m afraid when morning comes, I’ll never get another chance. I want you in me, to feel what it is to be made love to by a man.”

My cock had softened some, after my orgasm, but was still heavy, partly hard. Dan’s plea, accompanied by soft stroking brought me to full erection. “If you’re sure you want to do this, this is a major step beyond what we’ve done so far, I want to make love to you and I will, but you have to tell me it will be alright, that this connection is what you want and that you understand the consequences in your life.”

“This may be my only chance. Fuck me John. Now.” He held me tightly. I could feel the heat of his desire radiating from his skin. I hugged him back and kissed him.

“I’ve got to get some supplies, get you ready” I explained as I got out of the bed. I rummaged in my suitcase and found the package of sex supplies the guys had packed for me. I took the tube of lubricant and some condoms back to the bed. “Roll on you side and move the top leg forward” I told Dan. I took a large gob of lube and began to slowly work it into his ass. He moaned at my touch. I took more lube and began to push it in further with one finger, then two. “Is this alright, does it feel good?”

“Yes, yes it feels good.”

I spread my fingers apart a bit, trying to loosen Dan further. I knew I would have to get at least three fingers before Dan would be able to take my cock. More lube and the third finger. Dan flinched. “Push back on my fingers like you’re having a bowel movement. That will open you up. And relax, imagine my cock in your ass now. Empty your mind of everything else.” I kept my tone low and soothing. I could feel Dan relax and my three fingers entered his ass. I held still for a few minutes, waiting for his ass to relax too. The tightness on my fingers eased and I began to move them very slightly in and out.

“Oh, yes. There it is. Oh god, I want this. Fuck me now, John.”

I ripped open the condom with my teeth and free hand and managed to roll it over my cock. I added gobs and gobs of lube and moved against Dan’s back. Only then did I remove my fingers from his ass. I could hear his sigh of disappointment. I pressed my cockhead against his hole, it flexed against me. I put my hand on his hip and pressed with my cock. With all the lube and loosening up, his ass opened up for me and my cockhead popped past his sphincter.

Dan gasped “You’re cock is bigger than your fingers. Oooh.”

I stopped pushing and waited.

“It’s okay. I just feel so full, stretched. Keep going, please.”

I eased my cock in a little more and felt him relax again, his ass ring becoming comfortable around my cock. I tried a few in and out motions, Dan rolled his head with pleasure. I pushed more in and Dan began to push back against me. He wanted more. I soon felt my cock against the wall, the turning of his colon. I eased back a little, and pulled Dan’s bent leg back. The motion changed the position of his colon, opening up so I could push my cock deeper. An inch further and I hit his inner sphincter. I applied gentle pressure until I felt it open and my cockhead popped through.

“Oh my god, you’re so deep.” Dan exclaimed.

I began to sooth him by stroking his cock, playing with his balls. I stayed still, waiting for his ass to become accustomed to being filled with cock. He began to flex his ass muscles along my cock, he was ready for more. I again began slow, shallow in and out motions, feeling for his response. He again flexed his ass. I began to thrust a little faster and longer. Dan began to moan.

“Let’s add more lube.” I very slowly pulled out.

“Oh my god.”

I squirted tons of lube onto my hand and pushed into his ass and coated my cock again. “Ready for another position?” I pushed him onto his back and lifted one leg to my shoulder, his ass tilted up to meet my cock. I entered him again. Dan sighed. He pushed against me and my cock squeezed in to the same depth we had gotten to before. Dan grabbed his own cock and began to stroke. I followed his lead and began to pump in and out of him. A few times I took fore my own pleasure and pulled back, only leaving my cockhead in him and pushed back in. On the third long dicking, it was in to the hilt. The sensation took my breath away.

Dan began to pump his own cock frantically. I followed with quick, thrusts, staying deep inside him. His whole ass clutched my cock and he came in huge gouts across his own chest. I slowed my thrusts, timing them to the pulses of his cock and stopped to enjoy the final few throbs as his ass tightened on my cock.

Dan lay very still, looking up at me kneeling between his legs. “I’ve never cum that hard before. You are amazing.”

A few moments later his ass clutched on my cock again. “It’s starting to hurt.” I quickly kissed him and very very slowly pulled out. My cock was on fire, but I knew Dan had taken all he could. “But you haven’t cum yet.” He said with some guilt.

“I will. You just relax.”

I skinned off the condom and knelt over him and began to pump my cock with both hands. I was way over excited, still worked up from dreaming, from sucking him to completion, from fucking him but most of all for being asked by this man, trusted by this man to be his lover. It took only a few minutes for me to reach the point of climax. I sat back on my heels, cock in both hands. Dan reached down and grabbed my balls with both hands, pulling them hard and I again spurted a huge load, covering his chest and stomach.

I lay down on his chest, my mouth beside his ear. “How’s your ass?”

“Wow. You know how you sometimes imagine how something is going to be? Almost always, it’s a disappointment. But this, you, it was beyond my wildest dreams, and my dreams have been really wild.” I kissed him fully. “But since you ask, my ass is all buzzy, way deep inside. And it feels like you could park a truck in it. I can feel a breeze up to my liver.”

We both laughed and laughed. I got out of bed to get a warm cloth to clean him up a little and sooth his ass. He had taken a lot for his first time.

He still lay on his side for my cleaning. I lay down next to him. He lifted his leg to reach for my cock, pulling it along his balls, petting it gently. I snuggled closer and wrapped my arms around him.

***

A gap in the curtains let in the morning sun. I don’t think we had moved all night, lying together. The only change was my cock was now raging hard. Dan roused to my movement. “Ready again?”

“Not to take anything away from your attractiveness, dear one, but I really have to pee.”

I met him as I came out of the bathroom. He stopped and took my cock in one hand, balls in the other. “No wonder it feels like I sat on a fire hydrant. My god, did I take all that?”

“You seemed to enjoy it at the time.”

“I’m still feeling it now.” He paused to kiss me, then ran to address his own need to piss. After a short while Dan called from the bathroom, “Is it normal to have gas after you get fucked?”

I assured him it was very normal, that air often gets pushed in. He’d be back to normal in no time. The next funny noise was my own stomach growling. “You hungry?”

“Starving” came the reply along with some quite musical toots.

I called room service and ordered a massive breakfast. I heard the shower start in the bathroom. The shower was in a very large stall. Dan greeted me with kiss when I joined him. I took the soap from him and rubbed him all over, being very careful around his ass.

“Careful, you’ll make me cum again.”

“Don’t worry, I plan to, but not until after breakfast.”

Dan soaped me, spending a lot of time on my cock and balls. “No matter how I try, I can’t get this thing all soaped up. It keeps growing and growing.”

“You better stop that or you’ll make me cum.”

“’Don’t worry, I plan to’ I believe is the phrase.”

We finished the shower, holding back from further sex and were toweling each other off when someone knocked at the door. I had just grabbed the robe the hotel had provided for Dan and tossed him the pajama bottoms when the room service staff let themselves in. They began setting up in the sitting room. I took a step from the bathroom into the bedroom and had to gasp. The scene looked like the aftermath of an orgy – though I suppose it kind of was. The mattress was half off the bed, crusty cum stains covered the sheets, the condom I had used was draped across the headboard where it must have landed when I tossed it.

Dan came up behind me and wrapped me in his arms. “Morning, lover.”

“No doubt of that.” I gestured toward the scene of our debauch.

“Holy shit.” Dan agreed.

At that moment, the double doors swung open and three hotel staff members came into the bedroom. On spotting us, me in Dan’s embrace, they quickly backed out of the room. “Your breakfast is served. May we tidy your bed and bath?”

I was mortified at the prospect of strangers seeing the remains of our passion and quickly tossed the condom and wrapper into a trash can and pushed the mattress back on the bed.

“Not much to be done about the rest of it” Dan said and led me by the hand into the sitting room for breakfast.

From my side of the table I could see into the bedroom. The hotel staff talked discretely among themselves, eyes meeting significantly, as they surveyed the wreckage. One picked up the trash can to empty it, but paused, reaching inside. He pulled out the condom. It looked obscene, all stretched out. It could have fit an elephant. The man reached in again and pulled out the wrapper. “Extra Large”. The three men paused to look over their shoulders at us. I smiled sheepishly.

Dan asked,”What’s up?”

“I think our tryst has been discovered.”

“You think so? You’re sitting almost naked with your fabulous hairy chest exposed in a robe. I’m here in pajama bottoms. The bedroom draped with rubbers and coated in cum. Does that add up to something? I could also add the lovely aura of satisfaction you seem to give off.”

“You look might yummy in just pajama bottoms.”

“I guess ‘bottom’ is the word.”

“Yes, I know what you mean. I’ll be looking to get some of that action, myself.”

“You bottom?”

“Oh, yes, I do it all. I am into sex with a man, in all its flavors.”

“Then you better have more to eat, you’ll need your strength.”

I don’t know if the hotel staff were listening to us, but they certainly gave us the eye as they passed us to leave the room.

I reached across the table and took Dan’s hand, pulled it to my lips and kissed it.

“Thank you, my gallant” Dan responded looking at me softly.

The tenderness of the moment came to an end with the telephone ringing. I reached over and hit the ‘speaker’ button.

“Will you take a call from Mr. Tim Sean?” asked a voice.

“Of course.”

“John are you okay?” came a rush of voices. “We’re all here on the speaker phone. The news when we came in this evening was full of riots right where you are.”

To Dan, “my roommates, lovers, family.” My heart began to sink.

To the phone, “Yes, I’m fine. The hotel I’m staying at was built as a colonial fortress and has its own army of guards. It’s pretty wild outside, but I’m fine.” I began to feel guilty. My family was concerned for my safety and I had had sex with another man. My voice must have given away my feelings.

“John, are you really okay? You sound funny.” Tim’s voice.

“I guess you could say I had occasion to use the package you put in my suitcase.”

All in a chorus they shouted, “John got laid, John got laid.”

“And we’re here holding our puds, waiting for you to come home.”

“If I remember correctly, I had at least two of those puds up my ass this morning.”

“Shhhh, I’m trying to make him feel wanted.”

“I’m guessing he’s feeling pretty wanted by someone right over there.”

“I’m glad.” Mark again. “If I know you, you were working long days, not eating right, killing yourself, too tired to even beat off. But I guess you found someone to spend some time with. That’s great.”

Dan said quietly, “I don’t think that’s how my wife would react.”

“Is someone there with you?” Sean this time.

“Yes, his name is Dan. I work with him on the project. He’s very handsome and…” my voice trailed off.

“John, something’s wrong. What is it?” asked Mark.

“Damn, no secrets from you guys.”

“You know we know you better than that.” Brad.

“Two things, I guess. One,” I looked deep into Dan’s eyes, “he’s married.” Dan flushed with shame. I took his hand in mine again. “Two, Tim, you remember that dream I told you about when we first got together?”

Tim inhaled audibly. “Yes, the one with the face.”

“Yes, that’s the one. Dan could be him.”

Tim stammered a bit, but caught himself. “John, you know I love you, we love you. We’ll back you up wherever this takes you, no matter what. But be careful. There’s a lot at stake for him – and you. We’re all here when you need us, any time. We’re relieved to hear that you are safe. We better let you get back to things there. I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you guys, all you guys. Thank you. You’re the best. Bye.”

Dan sat across from me, his hand still in mine. “They’re all really special, aren’t they? I mean, you told them you were with someone else, and they thought about how that was good for you, not how it might hurt them. And it didn’t hurt them, did it? I could tell, they were relieved that you were being ‘taken care of’.”

“We’ve never had any rules, except to care for each other. With five guys, there’s always someone ready to get it on. I’ve never even thought about sex with anyone else. Until now...”

I pulled him to his feet, drew him to me and kissed him, deeply.

I could feel Dan hesitate. “I’m feeling like the home wrecker now. You guys have something incredible. I don’t want to mess that up. And what about this dream?”

I told Dan about my recurring dream, where a man made love to me, a man who was my heart’s own desire. My four lovers were my family and we loved each other dearly, but we each understood that our relationship was about the group and that somewhere deep inside, I suspected there was that special one who would be my all.

“It’s crazy to even think about that. We’ve only known each other a week, been intimate one night. And I’m terrified to utter the words, but Dan, I love you.”

He turned away from me, head bowed. “How can this be happening? Until last night I never told a soul about my secret desire. Until a week ago, I dared the thought of making love to a man only in the deepest solitude. And then I saw you.”

“You came into the office, still groggy from the long flight and too little sleep. But I watched as you came into focus when presented with the work. You came alive, perceptive, open, enthusiastic. My heart was pounding and I tried not to know why. Yes, physical attraction was wound all through my thoughts. But there was a likeable quality about you, a basic competence that marked you as a man. It was all I could do not kiss you there and then.

“And now, we’ve made love and I am changed. My deepest desire and greatest fear are realized. I have found a part of me, long repressed, has been released, that I can love a man. And part of me is lost, the pretense that my life was complete. How can it be that at this same moment I am more myself and yet more a stranger to myself than ever before? Oh, John, I am torn.”

Who am I to comfort this man? I have never known his pain. Then it came to me, just as my lover family understood that we each had needs and desires beyond what we could give each other, Dan was the same. Only he was part, granted a willing part, of an institution that valued possession more than love. What I could offer Dan, and myself, was just that, love, unconditional, with caring for the other more than myself.

I led Dan into the bedroom. We sat side by side against the headboard. Dan leaned his head against my shoulder. I could tell he was near tears. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and pulled him to my chest. “Dan, I’m not sorry we’ve made love. I am very sorry you are confused. And I don’t want to add to your burden. I will respect your feelings, respect any boundaries you feel necessary. “

Dan said quietly, “What do we do now?”

“Dan, I’m sure what you’ve experienced is overwhelming, daring to reach out for what you desire. I see that as an act of courage. I don’t see our love making as a betrayal. I see it as an expression of your and my true nature, meeting in this time and place. I guess I see it as a random chance presented to us, that I’m proud to have accepted the chance to know you. To love you is accepting a gift – not asking the cost, not asking the motivation of the giver – just accepting the gift of you.

“I don’t know where this will lead. I only know that right here and now I am with you and I am grateful. I’m grateful for last night. If we never make love again, if I were never to see you again after this moment, I am better for having known you. I know love better for what we have shared. “

Dan let his head sink into my lap. I was a little ashamed that my cock swelled and pushed back against his face – and pleased, too. I petted his head, tracing the shape of his ear with my fingers. He reached up and led my fingers to his mouth, kissing each one then sucking my thumb into his mouth. He fellated my thumb, my cock swelling and pushing hard against his face.

“John, I’m sorry to burden you with my baggage. You responded to my need with generosity. I’ve responded by sinking into guilt from a morality I despise. Let’s be bold.” Dan’s spirit was rising, so was my cock. Dan sat up, moved astride my outstretched legs. “I see what you mean by the gift of the time we have together. I don’t want to waste it. The project will end and we’ll have to figure out what we do then, but for now, if you’re willing, let’s use the gift of our opportunity to be together.

He pulled the robe I wore open and took my cock into his mouth.

“Dan, do you think we can be together and still work effectively?”

“Mmmm hmmmmm.”

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes’”.

Just as he was teasing me to full erection, there was a knock at the door.

“You better get that.”

“You think you’re any harder than me? Sucking you turns me on.”

“You at least have pajama bottoms on.”

Dan got up from the bed, indeed tenting his pajamas. He opened the door a crack. An envelope was thrust inside. He came back with a open letter in his hand. “The Management state that while the activities outside have begun to abate, they suggest we remain in our rooms until further notice. Thanking us for our forbearance, etc. etc etc.”

“It looks like we’re stuck together for a while. “

“Hmm mmm.”

“It’s after 9 on the Coast, I’d better call home.”

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

I overheard some of Dan’s conversation. He was subdued. He explained that he had changed hotels and was staying with a coworker due to the emergency, that he was safe and would let his wife know as the situation improved. What I heard very clearly, to my surprise, was her saying she had to go, cutting him off impatiently.

“She hates it when I travel. But it’s often difficult when we’re together. It wasn’t always that way.” I led Dan back to the bed, returning him to my side, my arm around him. “When we were first together, we had fun, we enjoyed each other’s company. She liked my touch. After a couple of years, that began to change. I guess I changed, too. I was working more, trying to please my bosses. She worked, too and I know did an outstanding job. As my career gained some ground, I felt she resented me. It wasn’t my success, so much as how society held her back. I always tried to be supportive. It became clear to me the time I got a pretty good raise and bonus. It was enough to make room for some small changes in our lives. I remember it like it was yesterday, how she spat out at me, “you think you’re so great.” I was crushed and didn’t know how to respond. I love her but feel separate.”

“It was around then that sex changed. We were young and fairly naïve, but I thought enthusiastic. Then one night she turned to me as I held her in bed, ‘I wish you wouldn’t pest for sex.’ A few days later, I had been giving her some space, she turned to me and said, ‘You don’t show me any affection.’ When I held her and kissed her, I became erect. She flounced off disgusted.

"It was then I realized that men and woman are different about sex. I know, no news there, but I hadn’t thought about it. It’s not that woman don’t want or enjoy sex, but it is different. When I am near the one I love and we’re touching, I’m getting hard. Do I want sex? Hell yeah. Do I have to have it? Not every time, but if it’s been a while, then I need to have sex. With my wife, if there are dishes in the sink, unpaid bills, mean gossip at work, anything, then she doesn’t want sex. I don’t get the connection. Everything has to be perfect for her to be in the mood. And she waits for me to start it. Then gets mad if I haven’t detected the secret signs that this is the moment – whether I’m interested or not. Needless to say, the times when all the planets aligned got fewer and fewer.

"That’s when my dreams would become vivid. I’d wake up with a screaming hard on, just wanting an affectionate touch, and be met with hostility, not just disinterest, but hostility. I tried bringing up the subject when things were cool, but my wife became offended and accused me of saying she wasn’t attractive. What could I do? I stuck all that stuff into my heart and carried on.

Then one day, she told me it was her heart’s desire to start a family. Oh boy. This was the break though I was praying for. The affectionate woman I had known in our early marriage was back. I was definitely looking forward to the practice. She got a book and we followed all the directions. We went shopping to get me some boxers to improve the sperm count. We had fun being together again.

"Then the good/bad news: she had become pregnant on the first round. Practice was over. Some hormonal beast now occupied our home with me. I sucked it up and did what I could to make her happy. That’s pretty much impossible, so we endured. Then my son was born. Oh glorious day. Life is busy with a newborn, a toddler, a pre-schooler. So busy, I was the ‘go off to work dad’, she was the “stay at home mom.” Even though we lived in the same house, we only saw each other briefly on weekends, usually when she handed the child over to me so she could sleep.

"Then she announced she wanted another child. I must have been crazy, but I was just as hopeful of what our lives could be again. I was an idiot. When she didn’t become pregnant right away, she panicked. She saw a string of fertility specialists who had conflicting, unhelpful advice. I submitted to a fertility test. My wife was furious as she read the results. ‘It could be you, you’re not super man.’ My high fertility enraged her, made her feel inadequate, so she raged at me. It wasn’t my fault, but she was lost to reason. I tried to comfort her and be supportive. She continued her search for a child. One day, in compliance with a test of some sort, we had sex – it wasn’t making love, it was a utilitarian, joyless act. It was supposed to be a test, but it worked. Our second child had been conceived. After receiving the news, I was again elated. She was smug. That night, she turned her back to me in bed and I felt as if I had served my purpose, that all I was good for was supporting her children. What could I do? I still loved her, loved my children.

"We’ve prospered – on the outside. Nice enough house in a nice enough neighborhood. Kids are flourishing, healthy, smart, fun to be with. I’ve got nothing to complain about. Most don’t have it anywhere near as good as me.

"I feel guilty for wanting more, not more money, not even sex. I want to be touched, to be held, to be cherished. I want sex to be a celebration, not a semi-annual accommodation. I want to be in love and to be loved.

“John, you’re running your hand through my chest hair. It feels so good, makes me feel manly, and I think you like doing it.”

I assured him I did love touching him, feeling the textures of his body, the muscle, skin and hair. I get as much satisfaction in these quiet moments of touch as full on sex.

“And when I suck your cock, I am so excited by that, I’d do it for my own satisfaction.”

“Mine too, lover. Mine too.”

“Here with you now, this is the closeness I’ve always craved. I love you.”

Dan had worked through some very difficult issues. I had done nothing but caress him, and much as he described, took my own satisfaction from touching him.

“Make love to me Dan, please.”

“You mean, like we did last night?”

“Same stuff, trade places. I want you in me.”

Dan wrapped himself around me and held me hard against him.

“Don’t worry lover, I’m not going anywhere.”

Dan cried tears from deep in his soul. “I’ve needed to hear that. I didn’t know how much I needed it.” He paused to dry his eyes and blow his nose.

I kissed him again, then reached down between his legs and grabbed his balls. “Come here, mister. I need to be fucked and you’re going to do it.”

We locked eyes as he entered me. His face was crossed with love, concern, and desire. He pressed slowly in. I put my hands against his hips to stop his entry, needing to adjust to having his thick cock inside me. “I need a moment to get used to you.”

“I’m afraid I won’t satisfy you.” Ah, what was behind his look of concern. “You’re so much bigger than me.”

My ass had eased and I pulled him all the way into me. He breathed out completely in a sigh.

“Oh Dan, my lover. I won’t lie to you, I never will. Do I like a big cock? Brad is enormous and being fucked by him is fabulous. I also enjoy Tim, who’s no where near as big as you. But right now I’m with you and you are all I want. And by the way, I had to stop you before, it was starting to hurt. You’re big enough to do damage, so go easy.” Dan smiled with the flattery.

Dan made love to me, not just with his cock, but with his whole being. At times his eyes would close in ecstasy, at others his eyes held me with desire and longing. He leaned forward to kiss me, his cock pressing deep inside me, touching delightful places, yet his kisses were what I remember.

He whispered, “I’m close.”

“Cum for me, baby, give me your love.”

As he began long, slow strokes, I watched the expression on his face change. At first concentration, then closed eyes with a slightly open mouth and short grabs of breath, then absolute tension as he reached the brink, then finally with his release the look of a man who sees the divine. This was something different. I had been fucked many times and with Tim and Brad and it was with love. It was the same body parts, the same process, the same reactions. But somehow Dan’s heart touched mine as we loved. Even though I hadn’t orgasmed, I felt complete.

Dan had been supporting his weight on his arms. They began to shake, post-climax. I opened my arms to welcome him into my embrace. His cock had remained full, even after his orgasm, filling me delightfully. I lay savoring his scent, the scent of a man who had made love to me. I felt his cock pulse again in my ass, depositing more cum into me. I kissed him on the forehead. “Thank you, lover, thank you.”

He dosed a short while in my arms, becoming heavy on top of me. I prayed that his moment never end. All too soon, he began to stir.

“Did I fall asleep. You really got it all out of me. It was like I went to another world with you.”

My cock had remained engorged, caught between us as he lay on top of me. I flexed it.

“Oooh, someone wants some attention.” Dan was coy. He slowly withdrew his now softened cock, rolled onto his side. He blotted my ass with a towel to catch his cum. He leaned over my cock and began to kiss the head with quick, dry kisses. His right hand clutched my balls. I lay back enjoying his ministrations, watching the delight on his face.

It began to get more heated, I needed more sensation. “Lie on your back” I ordered. I sat astride his legs holding my cock over him. I took his cock in my hand and began to stroke our cocks together. He hardened quickly. I rubbed our aligned cocks, my balls bouncing on his. So soon after our fucking, I was overly aroused and Dan, despite having just cum, was nearing climax again. It was amazing holding all that cock in my hands, feeling the masculinity. I could hear my own voice, as if from far off, as I shouted with my orgasm, spewing across Dan’s face and chest, his own cock a spurt behind my own, adding his orgasm to mine. I felt my body go weak, and fell to one side.

Dan rolled on his side to face me, his cock flopping against mine. He smiled through the semen coating his face. My tongue reached out to lick the cum off his right cheek and swallowed. The cum from his left cheek, I fed to him. I continued cleaning the cum off of him, from eyebrows to navel, alternating the feeding between us. It was wonderfully intimate.

We stayed in bed, occasionally napping, continuing our talk of the morning, until late in the day. I hadn’t noticed time passing, but the room grew dark as the sun set. I was suddenly hungry – for more than Dan’s cock. We ordered dinner which came promptly. We ate in silence. For me, I wanted no distraction, only to gaze upon his face. My heart was full. I think Dan felt the same.

After dinner, we luxuriated in the vast tub. I lay upon Dan in the warm water. He played with my balls, hanging low from the heat, his touch gentle, inquisitive. We were languid with sensuality. We rose from the tub. He dried me, I dried him, lingering on his cock and balls, large and soft from the warm water. We held each other as we moved to the bed, already drowsy and still wrapped in each other’s arms fell asleep.

***

Again the morning light broke through the curtains. Our hard cocks dueled with the need to piss. He laughed at me, trying to get my cock to relax so I could pee. I teased him back at his turn. Though each temporarily softened, it was time for us to make love again.

***

The phone rang, waking us from a post-coital snooze. It was Matt, the project coordinator with the news that the streets were again clear and we could return to the job site and get back to work.

“How did you two get along?” Matt asked.

Dan took that moment to gulp down the head of my cock, causing me to squeak into the phone. “You okay?” Matt queried.

“Stop it, it’s Matt on the phone” I muttered, my hand over the receiver. “Just fine. We’ve managed to entertain ourselves in the meantime.” Dan pulled off me long enough to grin. “Yes, here’s here.” Then to Dan, who had returned to sucking my cock, “He wants to talk to you.” Dan slurped off my cock again, nearly making me cum.

“Yeah, Matt, it’s been fine. John has been the perfect host. You know, Matt, with this hotel being near the job site, I’m thinking of moving here.” A wink to me. “That would be great. Thoughtful of you to have my stuff moved over during the day. Yeah, I’ll set things up for a room here. See you when you get in. Bye.”

These last words were a struggle for Dan to keep calm, I was returning his distractions to me earlier. “Clever boy – moving into my hotel.”

“Your hotel, nuts. I’m moving into your room.”

“Maybe we could ask about a bigger room. I’ll bet things will clear out after the riots.”

The hotel management expressed their delight at offering us a larger accommodation, though looked confused when we asked for a one bedroom suite. The manager made a discrete call to housekeeping while we waited. He explained that I would be moving to another room, yes the gentlemen in room 503. He listened, nodded a few times, looked at us with wide eyes, then completed the call. We were assured our room would be ready later that afternoon and all arrangements would be made.

“I think they know what we’ve been up to” Dan said with a wink.

“After that first morning, when they came to clean up, I don’t think there’s any doubt” I replied.

We did manage to take a shower and keep our hands off each other, well mostly. As we walked across the now peaceful square to the job site, we got the giggles, due to our shared secret.

All that disappeared when we got into the office and down to work. We had worked well together before, but suddenly it was like we shared the same mind. While we represented distinct disciplines, our new common understanding accelerated the work. The entire work team caught our enthusiasm. New creativity came from every corner. Problems that seemed insurmountable a few days before were solved in no time.

Matt, the project coordinator called Dan and I aside. “What’s up with you guys? It’s like you’re reading each other’s minds. I’m not complaining. I think we’ve made more progress today than in the past week. Whatever it is, keep doing it.” Dan met my eyes and grinned. We both assured Matt that we would keep at it. “And knock off early and get a good dinner. You guys work too hard.”

We did manage to wait until most of the other team members had gone before dashing back across the square to the hotel. In my eagerness to be alone with Dan, it seemed to take forever.

The hotel manager signaled to us as we came through the doors. “I have your rooms ready and everything has been moved and arranged. Front!” He directed a bellman to see us to the room. The bellman pressed the top button on the elevator and up we went. Rather than a long hallway with many doors, we walked out into a small vestibule with only two doors. The bellman opened one and waited for us to enter.

“Holy shit” muttered Dan as we walked through a foyer into a vast room that opened onto a large terrace. It was decorated in a more modern style than my previous room, the space demanding more and larger furniture. In place of the twin settees was a spacious conversation pit. A dining table that could easily accommodate twelve was to one side. The terrace had several seating areas, a dining table, and lounges for sunning among many potted trees and plants. We gawked like tourists, Dan grabbed my hand in his excitement.

The bellman moved to a pair of massive doors to one side, set two steps above the sitting room. He waited until we were facing him, then grandly swung them open. I don’t really believe angels sang, but I’m not sure they didn’t. The doors opened to another vast room, in the center of which on a raised dais was the bed. Though a bed is a piece of furniture. This was an altar to Eros. Four columns suspended a canopy over an acre of exquisite linens spread across the most inviting and plush mattress ever conceived.

“We’re going to have to be more careful when we cum” Dan muttered.

“We can have people over, there’s enough room for ten” I responded.

I lavished our bellman with a sizeable tip and sent him on his way.

Dan squealed from a distant doorway. “The bathroom is like a Roman bath – in luxury and scale. We can go swimming in the tub – and look it’s a Jacuzzi.”

I wandered about the room, trying to orient myself in the vast space. I found the dressing room behind concealed doors. Indeed all our possessions had been carefully arranged. On nearing the bed, I noticed a package and a note.

Dear Treasured Guests,

A special friend has directed that certain ‘comforts’ be available in your room.

Enjoy!

“Hey Dan.” He came reluctantly out of the bathroom. “Someone sent us a present.”

“Strange. So open it.”

I opened the beautifully wrapped package to find an exotic assortment of condoms and lubricants.

Dan looked almost guilty, “I didn’t say anything to anyone.”

“Me either, unless housekeeping clued in the management. Seems a little personal, but hey, we can put these to good use. We’ve about blown through the stuff my roommates sent me.”

“Oh look,” came Dan’s playful voice from the terrace, “champagne on ice.”

Then it hit me, this was the ‘honeymoon’ suite.

Dan came in with a glass of champagne for us each, handed it to me and said, “To us, for as long as we have, let us enjoy this piece of paradise. I pray my lovemaking will be worthy of this magnificent setting.”

“To us. And it better be” I teased.

Through the course of the night we managed to sample a fair amount of the ‘care package’. Dan, a large man of six feet and two hundred pounds looked almost tiny on the vast bed. We did manage to roam freely over its surface as we made love in many ways and positions.

So with our love nest as home, we settled into a pattern of daily life. We managed to rise early on most days, getting to the job site ahead of the others. Dan never missed a chance to brush against me or lean over me when I worked on the large drawings table. More than once I felt his hard cock against my ass. I cautioned him about discretion, but was delighted by his touch.

The work continued well, the partnership between Dan and me growing more productive each day. One late morning at the job site, after a notably active night of sex, Dan was even more touchy than before. I thought ‘he’s got it bad’ - which is good for me. “Uh, Matt?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s a block of very detailed work here. I think if Dan and I could take it off site, say to my room, where it’s quiet, we could focus on it, even work through lunch.”

Matt nodded, smiling. “That’s fine, but don’t kill yourselves. At the rate you guys have been working, we’re getting ahead of the contractors and suppliers. We don’t want to piss them off.”

I couldn’t get a read on Matt. By all appearances he was a gruff, no nonsense guy. Great at running this huge project, getting extra out of everyone. He was single, my guess was probably divorced since his career was running construction projects around the world. No life for a down home man. And yet, there was a sensitivity about him. He took very good care of his project team, making sure they had good accommodations, access to entertainment, trips home from time to time. Most of the team, including Dan, had worked with him a number of times before. He wasn’t a man for polite conversation, he asked for what he wanted, told you what he wanted you to know. I just couldn’t add it up.

When I asked Dan what he knew about Matt he replied, “not much. He’s respected in around the world for getting the job done and not putting up with any bullshit. He’s decent to me, has sought me out for a number of projects. We work well enough together. Why?”

“Nothing really. I think he’s good guy.”

“Well, let’s get back to the room so we can get to ‘work’.” Dan was even more eager.

A few hours later, I lounged wearing only a robe on a chaise on the terrace. Dan was worriedly bringing me chilled wine and hot compresses. The latter he applied to my ass. “You know Dan, you’re wearing my ass out.”

“I’m sorry, John, I’m sorry. I just get so excited sometimes.”

I felt bad for voicing what I thought was a small request to ‘go easy’. Though Dan had quickly become an avid and skilled lover, he could get carried away.

***

We passed days at work in each other’s company, some afternoons and every night in joined passion. He was grateful for every attention and generous with his whole being. I felt wholly loved.

Then the frightful, inevitable day arrived. Matt called the whole team to a meeting.

“I want to thank everyone for their efforts on this project. With everyone’s help, we’ve managed to address all the issues and concerns of the owners, inspectors, and government officials. With some of the innovative ideas and solutions“ here he nodded to Dan and I, “we’ve managed to bring this project under budget and ahead of schedule and improve the original concept and design. You’ll all be rewarded for this achievement. We’ll need to pull together a presentation for the owners and government representatives. I’ll get it on the calendar for next week. I usually leave a week afterwards to take care of any feedback or surprises, but I think we have things well covered. It will be a light week. And then you can all head to your homes.” Did I see some sadness in Matt’s passing look at Dan and I?

When Dan and I got back to the room, the mood was subdued.

“I suppose I knew it was coming. It seems so soon.” Dan was low.

“We have some time yet.” I tried to reassure him, not feeling it myself. “We’ll need to call home and let them know the project is wrapping up.”

“Yeah, we’ll need to do that.”

I took him in my arms, hoping my own face was not as sad as his.

Dan’s wife took the information of the end of the project as a matter of fact. Her lack of interest only worsened his mood. My own call was very different.

“Hey John, that’s great. We can’t wait to see you – and to do some other things with you, dot dot dot. Keep us informed about the exact date and your flight information. It will be wonderful to have you back again.”

Mark interrupted, “and I could use some help with Brad’s libido. He’s wearing me out.”

Dan shrugged his shoulders innocently.

I could hear the phone go off speaker. It was Tim. “John, what about Dan? He’ll need all your support. I don’t know what you guys have in mind, but he’s facing really tough stuff.” Tim’s background in Psychology was a blessing. “You need to help him look at his life, his responsibilities, his needs. From all you’ve told us about him, I’m sure he’s a man of integrity. This will be all the worse for him being a good man. You know we’ll support you however this turns out, even if we don’t have you with us anymore. We want you back, desperately, but we love you more than that.”

I thanked Tim for his insight and care. Dan looked at me “I envy you your lovers. They welcome you back and at the same time give you freedom. And even more, offer care and support for the man with whom you’ve had an affair. I am ashamed for any judgment about gay men I’ve ever had. I’m ashamed of being silent, complicit to the hate I’ve heard spoken. I feel unworthy of you.”

“I was lost once, too. These men helped me to find myself, celebrate myself. They made it possible for this me, here now, to love you and to accept your love. Your worth as a man isn’t about what you’ve done in the past, it’s about what you do next.”

“And that frightens me all the more.”

I don’t think either of us slept that night. And while we sought contact with each other, it was only for comfort. Toward dawn, there was a change in the atmosphere in the room. Dan’s body through the night had been crouched as if against pain, it now seemed to expand with resolution. The morning light played across his face. The profound sadness of last night was gone. Now his face showed strength. He turned toward me and kissed me on the lips. I could feel his excitement. He rolled on top of me, taking complete control. He moved to kneel between my legs, hoisting them onto his shoulders. He grabbed the ever handy lube from the side table and applied it liberally to my ass and his cock. Then looking me in the eyes, sank his cock to the hilt in my ass. I gasped, not with any pain, but with admiration at his determination and strength.

“What have you decided?” I asked, aware of the absurdity of entering into a conversation that could change my life and Dan’s life while being aggressively penetrated by my lover.

“You know me too well, John.” Dan was resolute. He drove his cock deeper into me, reaffirming his power, I think more for himself than to dominate me. “I’ve got to honor my commitments. I have no choice but to return to my children. If the world were different, I would be honored to be with you for the rest of my life. But the world is what it is. I pray you can forgive me, I know I’ll never forgive myself. As a man, this is what I must do.” I could feel his cock swell inside me.

“Dan, I hate this decision but you wouldn’t be the man I love had you decided otherwise. I want you now, I want you always. I want to make you run away with me, abandon our lives from before. I realize that’s not right, and I’m afraid I’d come to hate myself and even hate you for that selfishness. You’ve shown me what it is to be a man.”

Dan still held me in the absurd position, my legs on his shoulders, his cock deep in my ass. As I looked at his face, his expression softened as he said, “I love you, John. Thank you, bless you for understanding me. And now, with the little time we have left, I want to use every moment to show my love for you, to capture a life time’s love in a day.”

We made love with desperation and tenderness. It was as if our lives depended upon how much we could love, the clock ticking down the few rare moments we had left to live.

We did manage a few minutes away from the bed to get work done. Our contribution to the final presentation was already largely complete, building on work we had done previously. At the meeting, itself, I was proud to see Dan’s performance. He was clear, concise, in command of every detail when questioned, focused on the important issues. He told me I was pretty good, too.

Matt said he was pleased as he escorted us out at the meeting’s end. “Great job, you guys. I’ll call if I need you, but I think we’ve got it all covered. Oh, one more thing, the company has got a place on Kauai. Take a week to yourselves on your trip home. You’ve earned it. I’ll send over the details.”

***

We returned to our room and made love through the afternoon and evening. We dined alone on the terrace, only talking about the project, reviewing the moments of inspiration, acknowledging the other’s contributions.

I felt the dread of our impending departure rise up in my heart. “Dan, I know your decision, I honor it. I think you should talk about it, I want you to talk about it. What it means to you, what your fears are. “

“It’s hard to do here, where we’ve made love, been in love. I’m afraid I’ll be sad the rest of my life, that I won’t be able to be the father my children deserve. I’m not sacrificing my life for them, I’m being a man and a father. I am, however, sacrificing your love and I hate myself for that. My wife? I never thought I’d have to choose again. I married her, loved her with all my heart. I changed. She changed. We share burdens, we share the joy of our children. It’s so complicated and sometimes oppressive. I’ve had the blessing of this time with you, to feel simple and genuine, open and free. And I am grateful to you. You’ve been generous in every way with me, even knowing that a future together was, at best, unlikely. And yet you shared with me anyway. “

The phone rang. Dan picked it up. “Hello? Tim?” He handed the phone to me.

It was Tim. “Hello, John. Give the phone back to Dan. I want to talk to him.”

“It’s for you.”

“Hello?”

“Dan, I’ve found some therapists near your home. I’ll send you all the contact information in email, but I wanted to let you know it was coming. From what John tells me you’ve got your head together on things and you’re a strong man. There will be times when that’s not enough, when you have things you have to say that you dare not. Reach out for help. That’s what therapy is for. It works. Don’t try to guts it out. Use the help. You don’t need to do this alone. And Dan? I’m here for you, too. Now go fuck that man I love. Bye.”

“What did Tim want?”

“He’s sending me contact info on some therapists and offered his own help. How did you find these guys? Knowing they’re waiting for you is a comfort to me.”

“We found each other, just like you and me.”

Dan took me by the arm and led me to the bedroom. “Tim also gave me explicit instructions for the evening. You better lube up. I’m only following orders.” He grinned and stripped off his clothes.

We were set to leave the next day. Our flight to Hawaii was booked and all other details of our week there had been arranged by Matt. In the morning we showered a last time in our Roman Bath and packed up our belongings. Dan kissed the bed in thanks for hosting us these past weeks. “Yum, it smells like you.”

“I bet it smells like sex.”

“Like I said, it smells like you.” He winked.

Matt had even arranged a fairly secluded pair of seats in First Class for our flight to Hawaii. We held hands, kissing occasionally, sleeping some – we had been very active the night before.

Dan had become withdrawn during the long flight, the first leg of our journey not only to our respective homes, but to our ‘real’ lives.

“Dan? We’ve got a week left to be together. I want to make this the best it can be, for you and for me. Can you push the world away, just be with me.”

He smiled at me. “Yes, I can. The world will get here soon enough. For as long as we can, yes, let’s just be us two.” He kissed me deeply, only stopping when the flight attendant clucked at us and informed us that we needed to prepare for landing.

***

We hustled along for the connecting flight to Kauai. On coming out of the airport, we were met by a chauffeur who took us to the northern side of the island. From the main road, we took an isolated drive that ended at a small, thatched bungalow. Inside was a single room, open at one side to a broad lanai. While not as deluxe as our suite in Singapore, the rustic Hawaiian simplicity was pleasing. The room was dominated by a large, comfortable-looking bed but also contained a seating area that spilled out onto the lanai and a small galley kitchen. The bathroom was simple, the shower was outside, secluded by plantings. The whole place was perfumed by flowers and sea air.

Our driver explained that meals would be brought in, though the kitchen and refrigerator were well stocked. He handed us an envelope, addressed to ‘Dan and John” and took his leave. Only the sounds of the surf and birds could be heard.

I opened the envelope. Inside was a note.

Take this week to be with each other. All arrangements have been made.

Matt

“That explains a lot” Dan observed.

“Yes, it does” I replied, thinking of the hotel suite, the special package, and many small gestures by Matt.

“I guess we’ll have to take his advice. How about a swim?”

“I don’t have a clue where I packed my suit.” Dan walked out on the lanai and looked up and down the beach beyond. “I’m thinking we don’t really need them. It’s like we’re alone in the world, not a soul in sight.”

“We don’t want to sun burn anything important. Do you think there’s some sun block around?” It took only a moment to find a large, carefully wrapped package near the bed. “This looks familiar.” We opened it up, as we had in our hotel room. Inside, along with the almost obscene quantity of sex supplies was a range of tanning products.

Oddly, they were boldly marked as being non-toxic, suitable for human consumption, and flavored. “You look like Island Berry and Cocoanut to me” said Dan as he stripped off my clothes and began to rub in the lotion – all over. He stripped as well, rubbing his body against mine to apply a layer of lotion. I followed up with a finishing coat. We were both breathing heavily with desire. “Swim, fuck, or suck?”

“How about all three” Dan teased. He took me by the hand and led me across the beach to the ocean, stopping in the shallows to embrace me, dropping to his knees to engulf my cock in his mouth. “I just had to taste you. I like it unflavored, better, but this is a nice change.”

We plunged into the gentle waves enjoying the cooling sensations, finding every way to touch each other. We frolicked like kids. After a while we came out to lie on the beach to enjoy the warm sun on our naked bodies. Dan took my hand again and led me back to the bungalow, to the shower, then to the bed. In this new place we found the fun of sex our last days in Singapore had lost to desperation.

The days passed in our lovemaking, walks along the beach, sharing the meals we found discretely left upon our doorstep. We fantasized about what our lives would be like were we to grow old together. We made these few days our lifetime together.

***

The morning came on our last day together. We had spent the entire night making love with the knowledge that we would likely never see each other again, seeking to plant in our hearts the love we had found with each other. We took a last swim on the beach, returning to find our ride to the airport waiting for us. We cleaned up quickly. The drive to the airport and short flight to Honolulu were made in silence. I held Dan’s hand but feared looking him in the face. My next flight was to Chicago, his to Los Angeles. The gates were adjacent, so we had a last hour together.

“I’m not going to cry now. I’m going to keep these last days of joy in my mind.” Dan tried to look calm.

I could feel my heart burning with grief, but also tried to put on a brave front. We talked about small things, things we’d enjoy about being at home. The hour passed and Dan’s flight was called. My flight would board shortly thereafter. We embraced, I held him with all my strength. We kissed fully, as if alone in the world, ignoring the stares of the crowds around us. I watched as he exhaled, putting a show of control I knew he didn’t have. He walked to the door, turning once with a look of longing, then was gone.

***

At that moment, a small, dry, cool hand grasped my own. I looked down to see an elderly lady. “He is very special to you, isn’t he.”

“Yes, he is my life.”

“You’re not going to see him again, are you?”

“No, no I’m not.”

She nodded knowingly. “I’m here to say goodbye to my granddaughter. I’ll probably not see her again, at least in this life. My own time is nearly done. Life does go on. There will be pain, and joy, but there will always be life. Take heart, dear. He loves you as you do him. That is clear to me. That’s as great a gift as the world gives. You are blessed.”

“Thank you.” This lady’s comfort touched my heart. “You are going to Chicago?”

“Yes, then connecting to another flight.”

“Would you please sit next to me on the flight?” My desperation must have been plain.

“Of course, dear.”

“I’m John. What should I call you?”

“I’m Grace, dear.”

“Of course you are.”

It was but a moment’s effort for the First Class agent to upgrade her ticket and arrange the seating.

She was as excited as a child when I escorted her to the First Class cabin and helped her into the seat. “I’ve only flown a few times, and certainly never in this kind of luxury. Oh my.”

Through the window I watched Dan’s flight taxi away from the terminal, head to the runway, gain speed and take off. My emotions must have shown on my face. Grace grasped my hand. “I’m just a little nervous about flying” she lied.

“My mother died when I was a teen. By then she had given me all I’ve ever needed in life. I grieved at her passing, but I’ve not missed her – until now.” My chest heaved, the tears came.

This tiny woman held me as best she could, comforting me. I heard the flight attendant offer drinks. “Do you have sherry? No? Then I’ll have a double bourbon and he will too” indicating me. I had to smile through my tears.

“I’m sorry I’m such a mess.”

“It’s beautiful to see a grown man cry, though sad that his heart is breaking. It’s a gift for me. I wondered how I would endure separating from my granddaughter. You arrived for me to care for.” She placed a dry kiss on my cheek. “Now drink up. It’ll do you good.” We clinked glasses and I followed her lead, downing the bourbon. “Young man,” she called to the flight attendant, “another round.”

Between rounds, she patted my hand and began, “A broken heart, it never heals. You can let that destroy your life or you can embrace the pain as a tribute to the love you’ve lost. I think it adds dimension and strength to your heart, so when you love again, you have more to give. I know. I left my family when I was just a girl. They sent me to America to be safe. Then the war came. I never saw my mother or father, my older sister, or my grandparents again. Yes, my heart was broken. I understand some of what you’ve lost. But I had my Marty and our children and now their children. I’ve had a good life and that sad experience has allowed me to love all the more. So it will be with you. By the depth of your hurt, I know you must love, and you will, you will.”

I don’t know if it was due to the bourbon, her words of comfort, or her simple comforting presence, but I fell asleep. I dreamt of my time with Dan, saw his face, smelled his scent, felt the roughness of his morning beard, and was consumed again by our making love. I awoke to a gentle shaking of my shoulder.

“You’ve been dreaming and were talking in your sleep. I had to wake you. That must have been quite a dream.” Grace spoke archly. I became aware of my very obvious erection.

“It was quite a dream” I admitted embarrassed, praying for my cock to subside. Grace placed a blanket over my lap and kissed me again on the cheek.

We landed at Chicago shortly thereafter. Grace sat with me at the gate until my flight boarded. “Take heart, dear. I won’t say it will be alright. It won’t. But you will live and you will love again. Keep his love with you.” These her last words to me as we parted.

***

I don’t remember the connecting flight home. I fell asleep before we took off and only awoke when the flight attendant shook after we had landed. I plodded through the terminal toward the exit.

There, at the end of the concourse, beyond the security barricade, were four smiling faces emitting lots of noise. “There he is. John, John!” My heart swelled. My lovers had come to meet me. I had to stop for a moment to take it all in. A shadow passed over me as I wondered what kind of reception Dan had received, praying that he had been so wonderfully received. I gathered my emotions and ran to my lovers. They embraced me and swept me to a waiting cab. We squeezed in and made the short drive to our apartment. Sean and Mark covered my silence with ‘catch up’ news. Tim kept his arm around my waist, never breaking contact.

We climbed the stairs and went through the door into our home. “It is so good to be here, to be with you guys. I’ve missed you, I really have.” I couldn’t talk any more.

“I’m glad you’re home, John” said Sean as he kissed me.

“You’ve been missed every day” Brad said as he crushed me with a hug.

“We love you, I love you, I need you, John” was Mark’s tearful response.

“And we’re here for you, what ever you need” came Tim’s reassurance.

“Oh guys…” my words dissolved into tears.

“If it hurts this much, it must have been wonderful.” Tim again.

I gained some composure. “I thought I had found it, him. I know I did. But it wasn’t to be.” Tim led me to my room, gently removed my clothes, waited outside the bathroom while I washed up, then led me to the bed. He fluffed the pillows, lay me down, and got in next to me. His skin on mine was a comfort. Mark came in a while later, stripped and lay along my other side, doubling the comfort. Brad and Sean must have come in quietly in the night. It’s the only time I can remember that we lay together all night just touching. I felt very loved.

I was aware in the morning that the bodies had rearranged. Brad and Mark were against me, Tim and Sean were returning to the bed.

Tim apologized for waking me, explaining that he and Sean just had to fuck after Brad and Mark had come back sweating, panting and smelling of sex. I thought to myself, ‘life does go on, love will come again.’