Stronger Than Lions - 24. Cloud Armadas

The mercury was plummeting.

I didn’t mind the cold so much as the awful dark mornings—the tip of Africa being the victim of an inconvenient meridian.

One wet June afternoon I found myself gathering up his stuff that had slowly been conquering my room. The winter rains were buffeting the peninsula with ever-growing battalions of storm fronts that drifted up from the Subantarctic.

‘What are you doing?’ he said, rubbing his eyes. We had collapsed together for a snuggle after finishing our homework. If, in previous winters, it had been difficult for me to get out of a warm bed on my own, removing myself from Chris’s embrace was now torture.

‘Picking up your clothes,’ I grumbled. The room looks like a pigsty.’

‘You should have just asked me.’ He stretched himself and got out of bed.

'How? You just dump your stuff and get into bed and I have to drag you out most mornings. And it’s not like you don’t have your own official room.’

‘I’m sorry. I’ve just been so tired.’

I sighed. ‘Just leave it.’

‘No, we’re not leaving it,’ he said, frowning. ‘You’re upset. Talk to me.’

‘It’s just... you can be a bit of a slob sometimes.’

‘It’s not intentional, bru. You’re a bit of a neat freak yourself. Weirds me out now and then.’

I glared at him.

‘I’m sorry,' he said, looking down. This is your room and I’m being a bad guest...it's time I got back to my house. I mean, my mom’s been getting my aunt Jenny to come in and look after the place, so I could go back.’

‘No, don’t.’ I dug my hands into my hair. ‘I’m not chasing you away because you suck at housekeeping.’

I sat down next to him. He started chuckling.

‘What you laughing about?’

‘I think we just had our first fight.’

’Stop it,’ I grumbled.

’You stop it.’

‘No you.’

I poked him in the ribs.

'Oh, it's on.' He caught me in a chokehold and threw me onto the bed. We wrestled for a few moments, trying to tickle each other. I managed to overpower him and jiggled my hands into his armpits.

‘Mercy!’

I let him have it for a few more seconds.

‘When did you get so strong?’ he gasped as I let go. ‘Oh right, that’s my doing. I’ve created a monster.’

‘A monster who will torture his creator with his pianist’s fingers if this floor isn’t spotless in the next few minutes.’ I waved my hands dramatically.

‘I will comply,’ he said, and got up and started picking up his clothes, yawning.

I flopped back on my pillow. ’Why are you so tired all the time?’

‘Rugby’s been exhausting, man. Coach is really making us sweat. And I am actually studying my butt off when you’re not looking. I’m sorry, though. I need to make more of an effort with us, bru.’

‘I didn’t mean to sound like a nag. I just can’t handle too much mess on the floor.’

’Is that so? You sure love making a mess on me, though.’

’I don’t see you complaining. And it’s not even a mess, since you’re always… god, it’s not like you need more protein either. ’

He gave me the cheesiest of grins. ‘I love that we can talk shit like this, bru.’

‘I love that you still call me “bru” in your stupid surfer boy accent. Sorry I got mad.’

‘Hey man. People get irritated with each other. It’s normal. I can see your personal space is bigger than mine.’

‘Maybe it’s because I don’t have three brothers, farm boy.’

‘Fair.’ He sniffed his laundry and made a face.

I shook my head and walked to the window and looked out.

'What you staring at?'

'The mountain, or more precisely, the lack of it.' Table Mountain was completely covered in fog.

He walked to my side and joined me. 'I still can't get over how quickly the weather changes here, bru. Those clouds are hectic.'

'My mom called them armadas of clouds, the way they'd sail in like a menacing fleet.'

He regarded me curiously. 'That's beautiful, bru. But I don't think they're menacing. Maybe they're just a merchant fleet, you know, bringing in supplies. Maybe not as poetic as your mom's image, but...'

'I think she'd have loved that,' I said.

Our first tiff had come and gone and the Earth hadn’t crashed into the Sun.

* * *

Chris’s had settled in well as Mike's replacement. The Wolves were now on their longest winning streak in over a decade, and the First XV were on their way to god-like status. St Frank’s had even qualified for the final rounds of the Schools’ Cup—the most prestigious schoolboy rugby event of the year. It seemed that even Rob and Bella and I had achieved some kind of adjacent celebrity status purely because the school's new star fly-half was our friend (and to one of us, very much more than a friend.)

I was mulling this in my mind during breaktime a few days later when I noticed Jason and Ed taunting a Form One kid in the quad behind the library. I slipped behind one of the stone pillars in the archway to gauge the situation.

‘Is that all you have?’ said Jason, sneering, as the boy held up a R20 note.

The boy was small, and he terrified. ‘I—I can get more,’ he squeaked.

‘You had better,’ said Ed. ‘Else we can’t protect you.’

‘Yup,’ said Jason, taking the note, holding his grin. ‘You’ll have to tell your mommy she doesn’t give you enough lunch money.’

I barged out towards them.

‘Is that really necessary?’

Everybody turned and looked at me. Jason lost his smile and stared at me with a cool hatred. ‘What’s all this then?’ I continued in a bored voice, leaning back against an old rubbish bin.

‘Nothing, MacLeod,’ he growled. ‘Mind your own business.’

Ed, looking ever the hired muscle, stepped in front of Jason, but I ignored him.

‘I assume that R20 note is nothing either, I said and turned to the kid. ‘What’s your name?’

‘Sebastian,’ he managed. ‘Abrahams.’

‘Is that your money?’

He looked away, not answering.

‘Fuck it, Jason. Give it back to him.'

Jason crumpled up the note in his hand and threw it down on the floor. Sebastian bent down to pick it up, but I stopped him.

‘No, I asked him to give it back to you. Give it back to him, Jason.’

‘Fuck you, MacLeod,’ said Jason, launching himself at me with his hands outstretched. I had seen it coming, and stepped aside. He lost his balance and fell against the rubbish bin. A group of students walked past us at that very moment and started cheering and laughing. Sebastian remained rooted to the ground, wide-eyed.

‘Oops,’ I said, smirking. Jason was fuming, swearing as he scrambled to get up. I turned to Ed. ‘Hey, Healy. Perhaps you wouldn’t mind giving Sebastian his money, since our friend is currently occupied?’

Ed grunted and picked up the note and gave it to Sebastian.

‘Thanks,’ he said, meekly, and scurried off.

‘Where’s your boyfriend to protect you?’ hissed Jason, dusting papers and orange peels off his trousers.

‘Where’s yours?’ I shot back. ‘And I don’t mean Ed here. Let’s face it Ed, you’re not Jason’s first love. We all know he loves Frank more.’

Ed looked at me confused.

Jason grabbed my shoulder. ‘What are you implying?’ Several students had gathered around us and were clearly being entertained by the spectacle.

‘Nothing, unless you are.’ I removed his hand.

‘You’re a fucking freak, MacLeod,’ he said, backing down. ‘I don’t know what it is, but there’s something funny going on between you and Hathaway and I don’t like it.’

He walked off. I saw the crowd come up to me. A guy I’d never seen before high-fived me, another patted me on the back.

‘Good on you for standing up to Weiss like that,’ said a petite brown-eyed girl with pigtails. I shrugged my shoulders and scanned the crowd for Sebastian, but he had disappeared—like I had on so many previous occasions.

The bell rang, and I started towards my History class.

'MacLeod! Hold up, bru.'

I turned to see Chris running up towards me.

'Hey,' I said, quelling my instinct to reach out and kiss him.

'You still keen to come with me to fetch Matt from the airport?'

'Sure.'

'Well, he texted to say he got on an earlier flight. If we leave now we could... oh shit, those raised eyebrows tell me you've never cut class before.'

I regarded the knocked over dustbin where Jason had launched himself at me. 'Fuck that,' I said digging my hands in my pockets as a gust of wind funnelled through the quad. 'Let's go.'

We were at the airport in half an hour. When I first saw Chris’s brother walking into the arrivals hall, I got a fright. Judging from photographs, Matt was basically Brian Hathaway, thirty years younger. But then he smiled and I saw Fiona. My man’s emerald eyes were a bright counterpoint to Matt’s hazel ones.

‘How’s my little brother? Matt said, hugging Chris tightly.

‘I missed you, man,’ said Chris, returning the gesture. ‘I don’t know if I could go see Mom on my own tomorrow.’

'I'm here now, boet,’ the big man with the woodcutter's beard said. He turned to me and extended a hand and nearly crushed me with his grip. ‘Nice to finally meet you, Caleb.’

We drove to Camps Bay where Matt insisted on taking us to lunch overlooking the ocean. It had rained for most of the morning but the wind had ousted the clouds from the Atlantic seaboard. I busied myself with my milkshake, allowing Matt and Chris to catch up.

‘So,’ said Matt. ‘Let me just clear the air with one thing. Nicely done, guys.'

I widened my eyes nervously. 'I'm sorry?'

'I’ve only known Caleb for an hour but I can see how happy he's made my kleinboet.’

Chris put his arm around me. He looked proud—proud of me, as if he were showing me off to Matt.

‘I never suspected my little bro preferred beef,' Matt continued, 'but I suppose he is a handsome bastard.’

I nearly spat vanilla milkshake onto the table. But a warm, giddy feeling overtook me. It felt great, basking in the glow of acceptance. And eerie too, as I saw again how closely Matt’s face resembled his father’s.

* * * 

Chris looked drained when Matt dropped him off after their first visit with their mom.

‘She’s good, I guess,’ said Chris, debriefing with a packet of Oreos as we sat in the kitchen. ‘The detox stuff has gone well, but all this other shit has come up.’

'I figured.’

‘I think things were bad between my parents for a long time. Like since I was a baby. Maybe they were staying together because… because of me. I was unplanned, you know.’

‘That was their decision, to stay together.’

He chewed and wiped crumbs off his shirt. 'I feel like he never accepted me. And my mom like overcompensated. It's a lot to take in, bru.'

He reached to take another Oreo, but I grabbed the packet. 'Babe. It's not supposed to fall on your shoulders. You also have like three older brothers and you should be there for each other.’

‘Yeah, well. Maybe Matt. Tom's in the UK with his life playing ostrich and Andy, well, he's Andy. Did you know he asked me how mom was doing and then told me things with the girl in Vietnam hadn't worked out so he's partying it up in Bali?'

‘That quickly?’

‘Yeah. God, Cal, I couldn’t get over you just like that, if we ever… shit, I don't even want to think of it.'

'Then don't. How's... how's rugby? Hopefully not too much deja vu for next week?’

The school’s sports calendar was reaching its zenith: St Francis had been selected to host the first School's Cup quarter-final. Our opponents were none other than Pretoria College.

'Coach knows about what what went down in Durban last year… but everyone's agreed that my red card last year was just that, time served, which is over now. And the Pretoria team won't be identical either.’

'Good. It’s going to be a tough game as it is.'

'Yeah. But enough about me, bru. I haven't even asked you how swimming's going.’

‘Mazibuko’s making us graft too.’ The provincial inter-high was shortly after the rugby finals, and if St Frank’s came in the top two, we’d be competing in the nationals when the swimming season restarted in September. 'But I'm kinda enjoying it. Even if I have to swim with Jason and he keeps besting me.'

'Fuck him. I've watched you swim many lengths now. You're a better athlete.'

'You sure you're not on sitting on the stands to check me out in my Speedo?'

Chris shrugged. 'I mean, why not both? It's a nice bulge.' I made a face as he got up and cleared up the coffee mugs. 'Now scram, bru. I've got to go train and get out of my head for a bit, and you're going to be late for your meet-up with your pals. Also, tell Rob I send my condolences.'

'For what?'

'He's giving you driving lessons, isn't he? Hope he took tranquillisers. In fact I hope your car's gearbox took tranquillisers.'

'Fuck you, farm boy.'

'I love you too, Seven inches of mine.'

* * *

'That reminds me, does he look cute in his jockstrap?’

‘Bella!’

I covered my face with my hand and fumed while I heard the jarring arpeggios of two girls laughing.

‘Excuse me for a moment,’ said Rob, who got up and walked to the self-service coffee station.

We had been sitting in the Starlite Diner in Rondebosch with Olivia, Bella’s older sister who was visiting from London. I felt like an idiot: Olivia had been talking about how pretty Noordhoek Beach was and I blurted out what a lovely date I had had there with Chris.

‘I hope you’re not blushing because you accidentally outed yourself to me,’ Olivia said in a bored tone. The Carmichael girls were born nonplussed.

‘I thought Bella would have told you,’ I said, recovering.

‘Dumbass,’ said Bella. ‘It’s nobody else’s business but yours.’

‘Thanks,’ I said, squeezing her hand. ‘I mean, I don’t mind your sister knowing.’

‘You’ll do yourselves a huge favour when you come out fully, though,’ said Olivia, sipping lazily from her cappuccino. ‘Sure, maybe that would be tricky right now. It’s been four years since I left St Frank’s and I still get shudders when I think of how regimental high school can be. Especially for guys, I bet.’

‘You got that right,’ said Rob, who was picking sesame seeds off his hamburger.

‘You’re looking great though, Cal,’ said Olivia. ‘Have you been taking horse steroids or something? You’re like twice the size since I last saw you.’

‘Someone has been taking Cal to gym,’ said Bella conspiratorially.

‘Nice. Wouldn’t be a bad idea for you, Robert. I mean, Cal was always on the wispy side, no offence, and look at him now. Imagine if Rob bulked up. He’d be a ginger ninja.’

‘Over my dead, fetid, rotting corpse,’ he said between mouthfuls of burger.

‘Pity. You’re not bad looking, Mr Jordan.’ Rob coughed and gawked at her. I knew he had always harboured a secret crush on Bella's older sister.

‘So what does this Chris person look like?’ she continued.

‘Oh, he’s gorgeous,’ said Bella. ‘Tall, blond. Plays rugby.’

‘Mm,’ said Olivia. ‘So he wears a jockstrap, I presume.’

It was open season. Rob took a long time at the coffee station while the inevitable comparison of jockstraps to Speedos ensued and I was laughing so much it hurt.

I drove back in my mom’s Honda with Rob supervising next to me; he had been licensed for six months already.

‘Hope you weren't too uncomfortable,’ I said as I turned onto the main road.

‘What do you mean? Change up a gear, dude, the engine’s suffering.’

‘Well, you know, the girls giving me the third degree about Chris. I know the thought of us two… well, it’s weird for you.’

Rob’s whole body twitched. ‘Jesus, Cal, is that what this is all about?' He sounded angry. ‘Just because I’m unfamiliar about certain things doesn’t mean I disapprove. I’m now kind of pissed you’d think that.’

‘I’m sorry. You’re my oldest friend, you know? I only meant…’

‘Fucking hell, MacLeod,’ he said, folding his arms. ‘Cal. I’m happy for you, dickwad. At least one of us has met someone and gotten the whole lurve thing right.’

‘Shit. Are you guys feeling... eft behind or something?’

‘Oh for fuck’s sakes. Stop the car, Cal. Pull over there.’

I did as he said, a little freaked.

Rob leaned over, looking fierce as the timid winter sun lit up his fiery dishevelled mop.

‘Cal. There are a few things I need to get through your thick skull. Firstly, I’m not attracted to guys, but if I were I’d be all over Chris in a second. Second, I think it’s great you guys are in love, okay? I don’t have little fangirl spazzes about it like Bella does but you’re happy and that’s friggin’ awesome. Maybe I was a bit jealous of this new person taking Cal time away from me, but do you honestly think I was judging you or something?’

‘Dude. I’m a moron.’

‘A colossal moron. Stop thinking I’m grossed out by it all, okay? I’m gonna get pissed off if you feel you can’t kiss your boyfriend in front of me. I don’t mean you have to lick his face off with your tongue, but that's just my OCD setting boundaries.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Dude. I know that not everybody is as open-minded as we are, so I know you gotta be cautious. I’m just saying, I got your back, you know?’

‘You’re making me tear up here,’ I said.

‘Yeah, and now I’m going to make you scream.’ He bent forward and planted a hasty kiss on my forehead. I sat bolt upright. Rob wiped his mouth reflexively and burst out laughing.

‘What the fuck was that?’ I said, gasping.

‘Just telling you I love you, man,’ he said, and smiled the evil genius smile he was so accomplished at. ‘As a brother. Dude, your skin is softer than I imagined. Are you moisturising or something?’

‘Fuck off.’

Rob elbowed me, and I put an arm around my best friend. I stared out the windscreen at the back of Table Mountain, whose silhouette was now visible again against the winter night. The Armada of Merchant Clouds had, for the moment, retreated.