The Valedictorian - 3. Being There for Him

Last paragraphs of chapter 2:

I usually try to keep an even temper, but it’s not working today. I can actually feel myself tense up as we get to the table. But all that changes in one instant. Tom’s there with Barbie and tears are running down his face. I’ve never seen him like this and immediately my heart goes out to him.

He’s sobbing.

Don gets to him first. “Tom, what’s wrong?”

“My father, he’s dead.” This is followed by another sob.

I immediately put my arms around his shoulders from the side, where I’m standing. I whisper, “Oh, Tom, I’m so sorry.” I know his father is in jail, but don’t think it’s appropriate to ask Tom any questions right now. I glance at Don and can tell he has the same thought. Barbie will tell him anyway, so there is no use in making poor Tom talk about what is clearly an overly emotional subject. I know David had no use for his father, but also know Tom did have a close relationship with him. Maybe it was because he was that much younger; I really can’t speculate. I do know he is devastated right now.

“Tom, you know if there’s anything I can do, just ask.” He stares right at me with a slightly more hopeful look.

“Convince David to go to the funeral.”

“What?”

“As soon as Aunt Sarah told me the news, I knew I needed my brother. Then she told me the funeral would be on Friday in New York, so I called him right away. He told me Grampa had already called him. He also told me he wouldn’t be going to New York.”

“Why not?” Although, I know the answer.

“Chuck, you don’t want to know what he said. I know he was just reliving some bad stuff from his past, so I’m not going to pass it on.”

“Of course not; it’s none of my business anyway. But how can I convince him to go if you can’t?”

“Because you can convince anyone to do anything, Chuck.” Tom hits me with a rare smile and I can clearly see the young boy in there whom I first met four years ago.

“I’ll try.”

I leave Don in his ‘office’ with his sister and future brother-in-law. Walking outside, I make the call, trying to think up any rationale, but dreading its outcome.

“Chuck! Oh-oh, I think I know what this call’s about.”

“First, I’m sorry about your father.”

“Don’t be.”

“David, he was your father.”

“On paper.”

“Look, everyone has their failings. But I’m not calling about him; I’m calling about your brother.”

“I’ve already talked to him.”

“Do me a favor. I want you to clear your mind right now – totally!” I wait a beat. “OK? All empty?”

“Hehe – OK, Chuck. Fire away!”

“Think back four years to when I first met you. After all our original drama, after you sort of accepted me as a friend, we talked about each other’s lives. I remember those conversations clearly because, well, you know I had a crush on you.”

David laughs. “Yeah, I remember.”

“Well, one thing really struck me, because at the time I thought you were invincible. It was your admission that you relied so much on the support of your younger brother. You told me he had a knack for reading your moods and tried hard to always help you. Do you remember those days, feeling like that, loving your brother almost without bounds? Do you?”

He pauses, and then responds in a quiet voice. “Yeah, I do. I still love him.”

“Then go to New York. Do it for him. He’s broken up, and now he needs your support.”

A pause, and then he says, “I’ll need to think about it for I while, OK? I’ll get back to you.”

“OK. But don’t take forever. He’s seriously hurting right now.”

Disconnecting, I re-enter Kory’s to begin walking toward the table when my phone chirps. It’s him.

“Hey, David. Is there something else you need?”

“No. I’ve thought it over. I’ll go to New York.”

“That was fast!”

“No. There is no thinking when it comes to Tommy. If he needs me, he’s got me.”

“I’ll tell him.”

“Thanks, Chuck. I’ll call him later too, after I talk with Twoey.”

Disconnecting again, I walk back to Don’s ‘office’ to be met by expectant looks.

“He’s going to New York. He’ll call you later, Tom.”

The galoot jumps up and squashes me in a hug, lifting me off the ground, as usual. This time, though, I feel no animosity toward him. I know I never will again. But that doesn’t stop me from complaining.

“Let me down, you big ape!”

“Thank you, Chuck! You worked your magic again. I just knew you would!”

“Get out of here now! Take Barbie and do whatever you guys do, but leave Don to take care of solving the problems of the senior class before there is no more senior class. I need a burger too. Now vanish!”

They leave, with smiles on their faces. I slide in next to Don. He gives me a sort-of scrunched-up scowl. “That was pretty brusque, wasn’t it?”

“I needed to get them out of here before I started to cry. I have to uphold my image, you know.”

Now my boyfriend laughs and waives the waitress over. “Hey, Martha, thanks for giving us some space. I think I’ll have the chicken salad and bring the usual grease for my boyfriend.”

After he holds court and I drive him home, I’m on the way back to my house. I live about a fifteen-minute drive out of town, near the falls which is in the higher hills, away from the lake. I always hated living there because I couldn’t participate in anything at school, or really any activities in town. I was bussed to school and so needed to ask for a ride, both ways, if I wanted to be in town. My mother was always cooperative, but it was still a pain in the butt. Everything changed when I got my car last spring. Now, my isolated home has become my retreat.

“Hi, Mom. What’s for supper?”

“Didn’t you just have a cheeseburger?”

“Hey, I’m seventeen! It’s what we do.”

She chuckles and informs me we’ll have southern fried chicken, one of my favorite things, especially the way Mom makes it.

“Did Don convince you to have the interview yet?”

I tell Mom everything. Well, I never told her of my little sexcapades at Matty’s when I was a freshman. I mean, there are some things you never talk with your mother about.

“No. He has not. I might be wavering a bit, but only because it would be a favor to him. I want to leave him with good thoughts of me.”

“This separation is going to be hard on you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. I’m trying to be rational about it, but, you know, Don is sort of a fragile guy. In fact, I’m gonna go back after dinner to be with him tonight. I’m sensing that feeling creep over him again.”

And so I do, but decide not to tell him. I want it to be a pleasant surprise.

Mrs. Nelson greets me at the door. “He’s upstairs in his room. I think he needs a hug or something.” She winks at me, and then gives me a kiss on the cheek.

I ask, “How’s Tom? He was pretty down when I met him earlier.”

“Yeah, he’s taking it pretty hard. Thanks for getting David to go to the funeral. I think it’ll help him a lot.”

“Is Barbie going?”

“They’re both at Tom’s trying to figure that out right now. There are lots of pros and cons for them to consider.”

I get to Don’s door and gently tap. “Come in.”

He jumps from his bed when he sees me. I’m immediately in his arms and enjoying a kiss. “How did you know I needed you right now?”

“That’s a stupid question. We’ve been together for four years. I know all your moods.”

He squeezes me tightly. “I keep thinking about how quickly summer is approaching – how close we are to not being a couple anymore. How close we are to not being there for each other, ever again. I’m becoming a basket case!”

“Don, love, do you want me to go to USC? I’d do it for you, you know that.”

“No, we’ve been through all this before. I know after a while you’d begin to resent me. Yale has always been your dream. Now that your brother will be near, it’s even more important for you to be there. It’s only the looming end to us that’s getting to me.”

“It doesn’t need to be the end of us.”

“C’mon Chuck, you’re too smart to believe that. No matter what we promise each other, you know it won’t work. You’re too much of a catch. You’ll be beating them off until that one guy, the one you won’t be able to resist, will land you. It’s inevitable. Even I’m smart enough to see that.”

I sigh, and then kiss my favorite person. This conversation is nothing new. We’ve been through all this, and the shared weeping, many times already. He locks the door. Don does surprise me this evening. He begins to remove my clothes. After we’re naked, he makes slow and heartbreaking love to me. More than once, I feel his tears fall to my chest. Afterward, he has settled down and we carry on a more normal conversation.

“That was a really nice thing you did for Tom. I’m proud of you, Chuck. I know you can’t stand the guy.”

“I think I’m changing my mind.”

“You? You never change your mind!”

“Sure I do, and you’ll soon find out even more. Back to Tom, though. I’ve been doing some thinking since my meeting with Mark. He mentioned something and it’s been eating at me. Then, when I saw Tom at Kory’s today, I could see the younger Tommy inside – the thirteen year-old boy who was bruised and hurt by those terrible events from four years ago. That’s when I began to understand him.”

My boyfriend kisses me again. “See, that’s why I love you so much. That’s what I’ll miss.”

Before he can retreat into the mood where I found him, I offer a distraction. “Get dressed. We need to get out of here. Let’s go visit Twoey’s Mom and bring her up to date. She’s David’s shrink, and needs to know.”

He agrees and we are soon at Twoey’s front door. When she opens the door, I see her glance at the driveway and suppress a little wince. “Chuck; Don! Come in! What a pleasant surprise.”

We enter the living room and sit side by side on the couch. I realize I am sitting in the room where David and Twoey ‘came out’ at that party, and then were instantly united. Of course, I wasn’t there, but Alex retold the story so many times, it had become legend. Naturally, I don’t mention it to Ginny, Twoey’s Mom.

She smiles at us. “I’m sorry for seeming startled when I opened the door. It wasn’t because of you boys. It’s just, every time I see that car in my driveway, I get the chills.”

The guy I bought my Mustang from was the shit who was Twoey’s boyfriend for a while and tried to dominate him. Thank God Twoey’s best friend – from his former life in Syracuse – rescued him from that relationship.

“I understand, Ginny. Sorry about that, but it wasn’t the car’s fault and I got a great deal on it.”

“I know. It’s only a knee-jerk reaction.”

“Well, I’m here to pass on some information you may want to know. David is still under your care, right?”

“Yes, in more ways than one – hehe.”

“Well, his father is dead.”

“Oh, dear! How did that happen?”

“I don’t know the details. I’m sure it was while he was in prison. Anyway, I thought you should know.”

“Thanks, Chuck. That’s very considerate of you.”

“Well, I know how things can affect David and thought – well; I just thought you should know. Also, his brother is taking it hard. I think Tom was pretty close to his father. Anyway, Tom told me David refused to go to the funeral, which is in New York. He asked me to talk David into going.”

“Hehe. OK, Chuck, good luck with that one. I don’t think you can ever convince him to go. He seems to have totally given up on his family.”

“Actually, I did convince him to go – but only as support for his brother. I know there’s an unusually deep love between those two.”

“Yes, there is. Well, congratulations! I certainly hope you’re going to major in psychology.”

“No, that’s my boyfriend here.” I give Don a quick hug and peck on the cheek. “Anyway, that’s all. I just thought you should know.” We get up to leave.

“Thanks again, boys. Visit from time to time, when you get the chance. I promise not to frown at your car.” That makes us all laugh. Don and I leave and get into the frowny car. He looks at me.

“That was nice of you, love. I wonder if Twoey will go too – y’know, be David’s support as David is Tom’s support.”

I start the car and look over at him. “Do you honestly think Twoey will let David go to New York City all alone?”

“No, I guess not. Another stupid question – hehe”

I pull out of the drive and head toward Kory’s. Don gives me a bewildered look. I decide to answer him before he asks another stupid question.

“Let’s stop at Kory’s, I’m hungry.”

“It’s nine o’clock! Didn’t your mother feed you?”

“Yeah, we had my favorite – southern fried chicken.”

“And now you want a cheeseburger? You’re gonna become a blimp!”

“Yep. Then I won’t be so much of a ‘catch,’ and you won’t worry anymore.”

“Are you serious?!”

“Of course not, but I am serious about a cheeseburger. You realize how shitty the food is in New Haven, don’t you?”

“Really? You research stuff like that?”

“No, but I was there for a tour. A junior took me to some of the favorite eating places.”

“I’ll be he was cute.”

“Yes she was, but what wasn’t cute was the stuff they called food. We walked by one place she said sold a mashed potato pizza! I almost hurled right there on the spot. Then we went into a place to get a burger. I thought I was saved. Except, what arrived was a burger covered in Cheese Whiz or something, and it was between two pieces of fucking toast! When she started talking about pork dumplings, I tuned her right out. I’d rather eat your boring, healthy food than that vomit. So I’ll need to build up my memories of real burgers before I go. Maybe when I visit Carl up in Hartford, I’ll be able to find real food.”

At this point, Don is holding his sides, he’s laughing so hard. “Oh, my poor love, deprived of the junk food he adores so much!”

“Fine, laugh all you want. You’ll be out there eating fresh avocados and picking oranges off the trees, enjoying your healthy diet, while I’ll be suffering with fucking Cheese Whiz Burgers! I’ll probably mutate into some alien creature or something.”

~~~

~~~

Thursday, after school, we drive right to Don’s house. We know Tom will be there to say goodbye to Barbie before Mr. Galli, Gary’s father, picks him up. Gary was David’s best friend and the families were close. They only live a few doors apart. Mr. & Mrs. Galli are driving Tom and his aunt to New York, will attend the funeral, and then return home sometime over the weekend.

“So, you’ve decided not to go.” I’m talking to Barbie while Tom is making his final pit stop.

“It would really be awkward, plus I’d need to get a separate hotel room, in addition to being squished in the back seat between Tom and his aunt. Nothing sounded very attractive about all that. He’ll have his Grampa and brother for support. He won’t need me. It’ll only be two days, anyway.”

Tom comes back to join us and gives me a warm hug, thanking me again for the hundredth time. I’ve noticed his hugs have subtly changed since I convinced David to go, unless it’s my reaction to them that’s different. I realize, when a get a chance, I’ll need to consider that possibility and what it means. Finally, the Cadillac pulls up and, after a tearful parting with his girlfriend, he’s swept away into the late afternoon haze.

The next day, Don and I are at our table having lunch. I look around, soaking everything in. I realize this is the very table that belonged to David’s gang. This year, it became my table. I don’t have a gang, of course, but I do have friends who eat with Don and me every day. And I understand this will soon be but a memory. Will the time come when I will forget it completely? Will I forget the color of the walls – of what the lunch line looks like? Will all this, which seems so vital and important to me now, become not even worthy of being a memory for, say, the fifty year-old Chuck? I guess life is funny like that. It’s sort of a play with an endless series of acts. Acts, which are near each other, sort of have some common characters and common dialogue. But acts which are distant from each other, if studied strictly by themselves, could be from different plays. But one thing is certain. The later act could not be possible without the earlier one.

“Earth to Chuck!” Don’s voice breaks me out of the deep thoughts I had slipped into. As I refocus my eyes, there in front of me sits Sarah.

“Oh, Hi, Sarah. I didn’t see you sit down there.”

“No, you were somewhere else. I hope it was a nice place.” She gives me a sly look, as though she caught me where I shouldn’t have been.

“Oh, I was just thinking about all of this.” I gesture to encompass the cafeteria. “I was thinking about how it’ll soon be a memory. You, too – you’re a senior. You’ll forget about your newspaper, about the high school and maybe even about Daleville. Where are you going to school, Sarah?”

“Well, I was going to go to Syracuse because they have a pretty strong journalism program. But that’s too much like not leaving home. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” I nod. “So, I’ll be at Northwestern. They’re awfully good too, and I’ll definitely be away.” She hits me with a smile and places her hand over mine – across the lunch table! I see my boyfriend smile from the corner of my eye.

I look right into her eyes, and say, “So, you’ve given up on using my boyfriend and decided to confront me head-on.”

“Chuck, I’m literally begging you. I need your interview and the paper goes to press early next week!”

“Normally, we’d talk about this in my ‘office,’ but I see time is – uh – getting short for you. So, when will be a good time for the interview?”

This stunning about-face from me results in two physical reactions. The first is a squeal from Sarah.

The second is a heavy pound to my upper arm from my boyfriend.