The Others - 17. Chapter 17: At Codey's home

“Why are we forced to take Mr. Hampleton’s classes,” I hear Marc complaining as I approach them. It’s been a while since I joined them during breaks and I haven’t missed it a bit. They’re always complaining about school and that makes me wonder why, if they hate it so much, they still go. I showed them how easy it is to skip classes, right? So why would they still go and even worse, blame me for not going? There are even those kind of students, luckily none of those are part of the others, who would tell the teacher I had skipped classes. Why would you do that? If they are jealous of me for not “having” to go to school, why wouldn’t they take the risk of skipping themselves?

Because that’s what skipping school is in fact, a risk of getting caught. I’m willing to take the risk, I skip school even if I know there is a possibility that I may get caught. I know I’ll get punished if they catch me, that’s why I plan all my sneak-outs. So, that’s what it is, a risk. If people start complaining about me skipping classes, they almost make it impossible to succeed at it. Why would they take that joy from me just because they are unable to feel the joy of not being at school themselves. What is this distorted feeling of justice some people experience. It’s almost as if I hear Tyde saying: it’s not fair!

Sam catches sight of me and comes over. “Hey,” she says. “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. After our talk,” I reply.

She smiles. “I've got to get to art class early today, I need to finish up some work before it starts. Want to walk with me?”

I nod my head and walk next to her. We both have art after the break, but we aren’t in the same class. We can walk together though, because our school is divided into different sections and all the language classrooms are together, the same as maths and physics are together. All creative classes are in the same wing.

Sam and I walk through the halls then make a turn to enter the wing. Straightaway I spot someone on the other side of the hall: Codey. Shit! I have to think fast, because I can’t walk past him without him noticing me; the halls are simply not crowded enough for that. If he sees me, I’m sure he would walk up to me to greet me. How will I explain to Sam why Codey thinks I’m called Matt? No, that can’t happen, I need to leave .

Why oh why did dad have to move to the same school district? I grab Sam by the sleeve and drag her away from the wing.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“I don’t really feel like going to art today, what about you?”

A wicked smile appears on her face. “What do you have in mind? Will you ever change?”

“I dunno,” I respond, not sure which of those questions I am answering. “I liked talking to you, so we could do some more talking together?”

“I liked it too,” she says with a blush.

“So, let’s go! This is the last class of the day, right?” I ask and she nods. “Great!” I say and I drag her to the secretary’s office. Right before we get there, I start walking in a weird way and make sure my face looks like I’m hurting. At first Sam looks at me confused, but she soon discovers my plan.

“Can I help you,” the secretary asks. I don’t know his face, so he’s probably someone new. That won’t stop me though, because everything is digitalized in school.

“My hip is hurting again,” I complain, making sure it looks as if I expect the secretary to know I have problems with my hips pretty often. “I need to see my doctor.” I notice the secretary quickly glances over to Sam. “Sam has to go with me, because I’m not allowed to go alone.”

“What is your name?” he asks.

“Adam Rills,” I say, “my handicap is already in the system.” I point at the computer screen. “Please be quick, I need help.”

“Okay go, I’ll make sure you get an absence with reason in the system.”

I make sure to tell him Sam’s full name before I stumble out of the hall. When we are outside, Sam starts laughing. “So this is how you get out of school every time without getting into trouble?”

“Yeah.”

“But why is your hip mentioned in the system?” she asks.

It’s my turn to laugh. “I made sure I was in the system from the moment I first arrived at this school. The power of writing notes to the school.”

“So where are we going now?”

I liked Sam’s wicked smile, so I mimicked it: “Is someone home at your place?” I asked.

She shakes her head and takes my hand in hers as she leads me towards the bicycle racks. She doesn’t live far from the school, so ten minutes later we’re walking up the stairs to her room. I sit straight down on her bed.

“We can watch a movie?” Sam asks.

“I thought we were going to talk?”

She needs no more encouragement to flop down on the bed beside me. She makes sure her face is very close to mine as she says: “So talk.”

“This is a rather awkward position to talk from,” I say with a smile. I know she wants to kiss me again, but I’m not sure if I want it as well. I got so caught up in thinking of a way to avoid Codey, I didn’t even notice I was about to be alone with Sam once again. Of course I could’ve avoided Codey without really ditching my last class, but I really didn’t feel like going to art. I guess I’m not that creative.

“But not to kiss you,” is her response and she leans forward.

I let my hands touch each side of her as I answer the kiss. I gently move her around so she has her back to me, breaking the kiss. I have my legs around her and I put my arms around her as well. At first I did this to make sure she would stop kissing me, but to be honest, I like having my arms and legs wrapped around her like this. Does that make me bi if I like being upclose with a girl? Ugh, why is sexuality this complicated?

“I’m still wondering,” Sam says. It’s kind of awkward to talk while she has her back to me, but I lay my head on her shoulder as she talks. I can feel her throat vibrate as she talks. “Now you’re gay, is there some guy in particular you like?”

“Not really.” My mind wanders to Codey. Wait a minute, Sam asks me if I like some boy and I think of him? That’s weird. I can’t like him, he's my… stepbrother. Now I'm thinking about him, I remember I planned on going to his house today. I check my watch. Shit, I need to be there in twenty minutes. “I have to go, Sam,” I say.

“What, already?” she asks.

“I’m sorry, I totally forgot I had plans for today. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

She looks a little bit sad as she nods her head. “See ya.”

I go downstairs, get my bike and ride to Codey's. It’s a good twenty minutes and I feel nervous going to my dad’s home. Codey told me that my dad wouldn’t be home on Mondays, but even so it's still a worry that he might come home unexpectedly and find me there. Would he recognize me if he saw me? There are so many unanswered questions.

I leave my bike in front of Codey’s house and go up to the front door. I'm just about to ring the bell when the door opens and I see Codey standing there smiling.

“Matt!” he says. “I was afraid you wouldn’t show.”

“Why's that?” I ask, feeling uncomfortable that he hadn’t invited me in yet. I just needed to make sure my dad wasn’t home to be able to relax.

“You weren’t at your art class, I called you, but you didn’t answer your phone.”

I grab my phone from my pocket and try to switch it on, nothing happens. “I didn’t charge it last night,” I say and smile at him.

“No problem. Come in. I think my mother is more desperate to see you than I am.” When he realises what he just said he blushes.

“Does that mean I have to be careful what I say or does it mean I can feel relaxed?”

Codey apparently hears something behind him, because he turns around. Their hall makes a turn halfway through, so I can't see who’s there. “I think you’ll find out soon,” Codey says and grabs my hand to pull me into the house. I like the feeling of his warm hand against mine.

I see Sandra coming my way. She smiles at me, looks down to see our hands just separating. She then smiles at Codey and directs her attention back to me again. “Matt,” she says. “Welcome. I think this is a more appropriate way to enter our property, don't you agree? Instead of entering uninvited.”

I have the decency to look embarrassed, even though I don’t feel that way. I did what I had to do to find out about my dad. Of course I could tell her my dad is a liar and that I'm his son, but what good would that do. It would definitely destroy the friendship I’m developing with Codey.

“I made you some sandwiches, I hope you’re hungry?”

“Oh, I am,” I exclaim.

“Come in, let’s settle you two down.”

Why does this feel so weird? I've acted like I’m a friendly and normal kid around other parents, so why does it feel like I have to prove myself with Sandra? Could it be because she, in some way, is my step mom?

“So, where do you live, Matt?” Sandra asks as she places two plates of sandwiches on the table. Codey sits down, so I decide to sit down on the opposite side. If he turns around to look at his mom while she is speaking, that gives me the perfect opportunity to look at the back of his head, because for some reason I think his back is very cute. It’s probably because it’s the spot where the direction of his hair changes. There isn’t a bald spot or anything, no, his hair is too perfect for that.

Focus, Adam! Why am I even looking at Codey, I’m here to find out about dad! “Not too far from here, probably like a 20 minute ride or so,” I say, hoping she would let go of the subject. Of course I remember I told Codey a lie that my house isn’t worth showing to him and that I actually felt ashamed of my home, so if she continues to ask about it, I can tell her the same thing. That’s the crucial part about lying a lot, always remember who you told which lie to. If you tell someone information that contradicts what you said before, then you’ll be exposed. Or as the Dutch would say: then you’ll fall through the basket.

“Ah ha, okay,” Sandra says. I notice Codey is absently picking at his sandwich, probably feeling the usual teen awkwardness when it comes to parents asking too many questions. I don’t mind, though, normally I see these moments as a test as to whether I can still master my lies or not. As I said, this time it feels a little different, but it’s no less fun to lie. “What about your family?”

“My family, hmm. I have a very cool dad who always teaches me about the wisdom of life, as he likes to call it.” I purposely change the order of family members, so I can maybe change the subject to Codey’s step dad. “I have an older brother, but I don’t talk to him that much, because he's autistic.” Another crucial part of lying, base the lies on truths, so that when you forget the actual lie, you can always retrace the path you took to come up with the lie in the first place. “My mother, she’s a caring woman, that much I can say, but she works a lot. I think it’s a bit the same as with Codey’s dad. I don’t see her often, but I love her a lot.” It hurts to call my dad Codey’s dad. He is not his real dad, but I reckon most teens my age would forget about calling him his step-dad.

“Interesting family,” Sandra replies. Codey is still picking at his food and for some reason I feel bad about his discomfort. Should I end this conversation or would that allow her to discover that I’m lying to her? “What about your dad, doesn’t he have a job?”

“No, he got laid off last year and hasn’t found another job yet.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Sandra says and I think she means it. I like Sandra, but maybe that’s only because I know she likes me. Or maybe it’s this feeling I have that keeps telling me I should like my almost-step-mom. “Why aren’t you eating your sandwich, Codey?” she asks.

“I suddenly don’t feel hungry anymore.”

“Ah, I’ll put it in the fridge then, so you can have it another time.”

I quickly eat the last piece of sandwich, because I think this is my moment to get Codey alone. He has been feeling embarrassed for too long already. “Now, show me your room,” I say, trying to sound like I’m commanding him.

Codey seems happy to have a reason to leave his mother behind, he quickly gets off his chair and grabs my hand. He often grabs my hand, almost as if he’s afraid I wouldn’t follow him if he didn’t. I think it’s a cute gesture, although I think the reason why he does it is pretty sad. He has lost too many people already, so he’s afraid he’d lose others too. To be honest, I was surprised when Codey let me get so close to him, that he told me what happened to him. You would expect someone who lost that many people would think twice before he befriends someone.

Of course I feel a little bad about using him. He is a nice guy, but it’s very important for me to find out why my dad left. Maybe he’ll understand what motivated me to use him if he finds out. When he finds out… I can’t keep this lie alive forever and when it dies, our friendship will die with it.

Friendship… A word I wouldn’t have used a few months back. It's all changed and I don't even know what triggered the change. It’s something I didn’t have a grip on. I hate it when I don’t have a grip on things, but I think I like the word “friendship”.

“This is our bathroom,” Codey says as he’s dragging me around the house. “And this is my parent’s bedroom.”

I feel an urge to correct him by telling him it’s not “my parents”. It’s my dad, not his! So it’s actually “our parents”.

“And this is my room,” Codey says. “This is my computer and this…” he pauses and I know it’s something special he’s going to show me. “Is my beamer.”

“Nice!”

“So I thought we maybe can watch a movie on it?”

I look into his brown eyes and feel a lump in my throat. An image of Codey nestled in my arms while watching a movie appears on my retina, but I quickly repel the thought. What am I doing? I can’t start to like Codey, I’m not meant to care for people.

“What do you want to see,” he asks as he starts his computer. Apparently his computer wasn’t shut off, so when he moves his mouse, the beamer starts buzzing and the last internet page he visited appears on the huge white screen on his wall.

And I can tell you this much; I wish I hadn’t seen the page he visited online, although deep down inside it feels good to know.

Codey’s mouth falls wide open and he quickly closes the screen. I know I can’t act as if I didn’t see it, he saw me looking at it.

The screen displayed something that’s obviously porn.

Gay porn.