The Others - 28. Chapter 28: My last night

I turn away from Seth. Luckily he doesn't say anything, so I just tell him, "I have to go, I'm sorry."

"Aren't you going to crash here?" he asks, ignoring what just happened. I almost feel hurt by that, except I'm trying to do the same.

"No, I got plans with someone else. I'm gonna sleep over there."

He looks disappointed and maybe even a bit confused.

"Well, okay. When will I see you again?"

"I'm not sure..." I respond, not sure if I should tell him I'm going on vacation tomorrow. I don't want him to connect the dots. I don't think he would, loads of people take vacations, but still, I just don't feel like it. Sometimes you have to listen to your gut feeling, right? "Thank you for tonight," I say to mitigate his disappointment, but I'm not sure if that was the truth. I know this just made my life more complicated... again. I lean towards him once more and this time I dare to just keep it this way for a few seconds. It feels peaceful, my lips on his. I pull back from him and turn around.

"Thank you too," Seth whispers.

Damn, I really hate myself. I run upstairs to grab my backpack and when I get downstairs again Sam is standing in the hallway. She looks at me, but I ignore her. I go straight outside and start unlocking my bike.

"Adam," she says.

"You don't need to say anything," I say with a genuine smile. I don't know why she would've told Seth that I'm not gay, when she knew I was, still I'm not angry. I think I liked that she didn't tell him. She didn't screw up, I did. "We'll talk this week, okay?"

"What happened?"

"I kissed Seth." I get on my bike and take off, leaving her gaping in awe.

I ride to Codey's. I'm not sure if he responded to my text yet, or if he even read it, but I'm sure he won't mind me coming over. When I arrive at his front door, I call him. He answers immediately. "Hey, Matt?"

"Hey, I'm at your house," I say. There's some noise and he appears at his window. He opens it and leans out. "I sent you a text," I tell him. "I wanted to know if we could talk about things now and if I could sleep over?"

He smiles. "Of course you can. Wait, I'm coming." Seconds later he opens the door. He is wearing the cutest pyjamas I've ever seen. Shorties and a shirt, with the print of a spotted cow on them. The top shows the cow's udders. Damn, this is cute as hell! He must've see me staring at it, because he suddenly realises he is wearing his pyjamas and turns completely red. "Uhm, I forgot I was wearing these. Sorry."

"Don't apologise," I say with a grin. "I like it a lot." I made a good choice coming here, I felt like I needed to be with him for my last night of the old life. I grab his hand and lead him towards his room. It's like ten o'clock in the evening, and on my way upstairs I glimpsed his mother with my dad in the living room. I don't think my father saw me, but I'm not sure what he would've done if he had I tried to be silent. Codey sits down on his chair looking nervously at me while I lay down on his bed. I'm trying to look relaxed, but remembering that the last time I came here ended in me hurting him.

"You wanted to talk," he says.

"I wanted to, but I've just come from a party. I'm a bit dizzy from the booze and tired," I lie. "Can't we just enjoy the moment for a while. We have the whole night to talk, I'm not planning on going away anytime soon." I smile at him, and Codey hesitantly returns a smile.

But apparently that didn't convince him to drop the conversation. "We just had a huge fight here," he says. "My dad ordered me to never talk to you again, which my mom and I didn't understand at all. My mom confronted him about how mysterious he's become lately, but he told her he couldn't say why. So my mother just told me I should call you to ask what happened, but then my dad grabs my phone and he never gave it back to me."

"He isn't your real dad, right?" I couldn't help myself, I had to say that. He needs to be reminded he can't just steal someone's father.

"No and he didn't feel like one either. For a split second I felt unsafe."

"What happened then?" I ask, wondering why I just saw them together in the living room as if nothing was going on.

"He played the trust card, like he always does when things get tricky. He told us that he came here when we needed him most and never gave us any reason to not to trust him. So, he wanted us to accept things without questioning him. He wanted to explain everything to us, but couldn't right now, he would do in a week or so."

That won't matter to me, because I'll be long gone by then. It will break Codey's heart to find out I lied to him from the beginning, but his heart will be broken anyway when he finds out I ran away. In some ways I think finding out I lied is not so bad as thinking I was honest with him and then still ran off. Plus, now he won't find out his so-called dad lied to his whole family for over six years. If you add all those things together, it almost sounds like I'm a good guy.

"So, what did happen?" He asks.

"Get on the bed with me," I tell him smiling. I didn't think he would do it, but he did. He just laid down next to me. We were side by side, face to face. I take his hands in mine and gently stroke them. "I don't think I should tell you, because your dad didn't want you to know."

I don't think that he expected that I might not tell him. He looks a little sad, so I lean in towards him and give him a small peck on the lips. I know he likes that, although he tries his best to keep looking sad. I smile a bit and notice his lips trying to force a smile as well. "It's hard to look sad, right?"

The smile breaks through, but he gets back to his sad face soon enough. "I felt unsafe when he got angry at us," he pouts. "Can't you just help me by explaining. I'm sure it was not that big a deal."

"Well, it kinda was. Let's say I tried to blackmail him. But not in a real serious way, I just played with him after he found out about the study."

"When he called you with my phone?"

"Indeed."

He smirks. "Now I understand why he was irritable after that call."

"You don't feel unsafe now, right?" I ask. He shakes his head. I pull him towards me into a hug, which feels a little uncomfortable, because we are still lying on our sides, so my arm is beneath his body and I know it will fall asleep if we stay this way. But I don't mind, I like having him close to me, smelling his hair and feeling his boner poking into me through the fabric of his spotted shorts. "I'm sorry about what happened to you," I whisper At the same time I tickle him by blowing gently in his ear. He laughs and squirms every time I tickle him, which rubs his boner against mine. "If I knew this would happen to you, I wouldn't have played with him."

"I know," he replies.

"I like this. Being close to you."

"Me too." He kisses me, but this time it isn't a small peck. Well, it started that way, but I grabbed his head to keep him from moving away and I opened my mouth. He didn't need more encouragement. While kissing he started riding his boner against mine, but I didn't want to go all the way, not yet. That's hard to control when you come close to blowing just by riding against each other through the fabric of your clothes, but I think I will manage.

"Be careful," I moan in between kisses. "Don't want to spoil those cute pyjamas." He laughs in a very attractive way and stops kissing to take his shirt off. "Stop," I add quickly, "I like it when you're wearing that. I just want to enjoy the moment now, laying against you and smelling your beautiful smell. If that's okay with you?"

"I like that," he smiles and gets out of the bed. I'm suddenly disappointed, afraid I scared him away. But he just walks over to his stereo and puts a CD in it. Paolo Conte starts singing as the cow-boy walks back to the bed, his boner poking through his shorts. "We have the whole night anyway."

Now he lays next to me, but with his back towards me, which I like a lot. I feel like you can be even closer to the other person that way. So I snuggle close to him, and put an arm around him. I slide my hand beneath his shirt and draw circles around his belly button and then his nipples. I like the warmth of his bare chest against my hand. My head is close to the back of his, my mouth and nose touching his hair. I tangle my legs around his, my boner poking against his ass. I don't think I can get any closer to the boy without accidentally entering him or something. Not what I wish to do anyway.

"I could stay like this all night," Codey says sleepily. "I wish you'd come over more often."

"I couldn't. You asked me to be your boyfriend, I said no. This isn't right."

Codey rolls over. "You still don't want to be my boyfriend?" he asks.

I shake my head. "I can't. And believe me, you don't want me to." Without saying a word he turns away again. I know he wants to show me he didn't like that answer, but I think he liked being caressed by my moving hand, so I continue. He doesn't say anything, but I move my hand up his chest and out of his shirt through the top. I tickey his chin and move my fingers towards his mouth, pulling his shirt.

"Where is that smile?" I ask teasingly and pull the end sides of his lips up to mimic a smile. With my other arm I push myself up to kiss his cheek.

"I..." Codey tries to reply, but the moment he opens his mouth I slip my index finger in. He laughs and I turn his head towards me to kiss him.

"I think I do love you though," I whisper after I kissed him for a full minute. "Well, I think so, but I don't have much first-hand experience with love."

"And you don't want to try to get that first-hand experience?"

"I would only hurt you," I say sadly, but my hand is already tracing a path towards his junk. I move my hands inside his shorts and grab it. He moans, but takes my arm and motions me to stop.

"I promised I would return the favour after last time," he smiles and turns towards me, humping his now uncovered dick against mine. He undoes my belt and pulls down my pants talking hold of my cock through my briefs. I want to stop him, but I can't. Maybe this is exactly what I need to start thinking straight. Maybe it'll convince me not to leave forever?

"I should..." I moan, "probably tell you..." I can’t continue, because Codey kisses me and at the same time pulls down my briefs. He grabs my junk again, this time without the fabric of my briefs in between. This is the first time someone ever touches me there... and it feels amazing! I couldn't have imagined it. He starts stroking it and I have to try my best to not come right there and then. He stops kissing, but doesn't move his head away, he just stays there, our lips pressed against each other. I'm moaning, moving against him. It feels weird to be this close. To feel this close. I stick my tongue out and lick him, which apparently motivates Codey to pull down my foreskin. That's what I wanted to tell him earlier, that hurts. Codey notices and stops.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I kinda have some problems down there. It's very sensitive."

"Oh," he says. "My hands are too rough? I'll be careful, please tell me if I hurt you." And with that he moves down and takes it all in his mouth.

I wonder how I didn't explode immediately. For real, this is a sensation I never experienced. His tongue is soft as silk. He moves it around the tip, his moist lips engulf my cock, I don't think I will last very long. I can feel myself building, I grip his head and... I don't have time to warn him. I'm exploding, shooting into his mouth. I think he was as surprised as I was.

When it was over I lay there on my back and can't help a feeling of guilt. I never want to have sex again, I tell myself. It didn't convince me not to run away, I think it proved I had to go. Tomorrow is the day. I kiss Codey on his cheek, drape my arms around him and I fall asleep with the cute cow-boy next to me.