The Connecticut River Boys - 13. Chapter 13 Self-pity

July 2020

David sat on a blanket on the bank of the Connecticut River in Hartford watching the 4^th of July fireworks display. Although he was in the midst of thousands, he had never felt lonelier. He shared the blanket with Todd and Tim to his left and Jake and Jose to his right. He and Craig had been friendly with these two couples for years. They were all in their fifties or sixties. The four had been at David and Craig’s 40^th anniversary party six months earlier. Todd and Tim sat up, holding hands while watching the magnificent fireworks display in the sky while Jake and Jose laid back starring into the sky with legs entwined in the darkness. Even being with friends, he felt lonely. Being with these two couples at a holiday celebration emphasized that David was, in this case, ‘a fifth wheel’.

Later that evening, as David laid in the bed he and Craig had shared he felt glum. He reached for his dick with the anticipation of reliving pleasures he had shared with Craig. Nothing happened. It was soft and as he attempted to stroke it zilch happened as it seemed to shrivel. His feelings of loneliness increased as he considered the events of the six months since the loss of his love.

Knowing he was depressed, his friend Scott had strongly encouraged him to go on a business trip with him to Cleveland. The events of that adventure seemed like a hazy past dream. The encounters with Scott as a friend were satisfying, very satisfying, at the moment. Meeting Aiden and Vlad had proved that he still had feelings. However, the feelings were entirely carnal, not the love that he desperately craved. This evening, sitting between his two pairs of friends had only reinforced in his mind that ‘love’ was there, just not something that he was able to currently grasp.

He was to some extend relieved that the handsome, hot, horny Scotsman was no longer part of his life. The ecstasy of sex with Scott was an amazing high, but that was followed by feelings of emptiness.

Scott, his friend with benefits, was now happily in a relationship with Philip. Two months earlier, Scott had met Philip when he performed at a gay birthday party. Following the party, fifty-two year old Philip, one of the guests, invited Scott out to dinner. The dinner was followed by drinks at Scott’s condo. Scott, who had told David he would never get into a serious relationship, now was. He resigned from the dance troupe and now happily shared Philip’s bed. Scott now lived with Philip at his home overlooking Long Island Sound in Old Saybrook, Connecticut near the mouth of the Connecticut River. Scott commuted to Hartford and Philip to Groton, Connecticut where he was a Research Scientist at the Pfizer Pharmaceutical Lab. David was happy for Scott and somewhat relieved. He had relished the sexual encounters with the handsome Scottish lad, but had never felt the love with him he hoped to find someday with someone.

CC and James had moved to an apartment in Stamford, Connecticut that was convenient to both of their employment situations. Upon graduation from Amherst College, CC accepted a marketing position with one of the Fortune 500 companies headquartered in Stamford. James was offered a position with a firm in mid-town Manhattan. He commuted by train three days a week and worked from home other days.

Since the 4^th of July was on a Sunday in 2010, Monday was also a holiday. CC and James had visited their families over the long weekend and had called David telling him they would visit Hartford on Monday. David made reservations for a late lunch at the Pond House located in nearby Elizabeth Park. Wandering through the flower gardens of the park would provide an excellent background for conversation.

David enjoyed hearing about the exploits of the two. Almost weekly CC took an afternoon train after work and met James in the city. They would have dinner, attend a play or concert and sometimes visit a gay bar. Most summer weekends they either visited beaches on Long Island Sound, paddled in their kayaks or hiked in the hills of Northwest Connecticut. One weekend in August they visited David and when they questioned him about his activities it became apparent he had become somewhat of a loner. They became alarmed when David admitted that out of boredom he had checked out DVDs from the library for the first season of Murder She Wrote and binge watched the 22 episodes over a two day period the previous Tuesday and Wednesday.

CC went upstairs to David’s home office to check emails on his uncle’s computer. The normally neat office was in disarray. In the past everything in the office had a place. Since his uncle always was up to date on bills and correspondence, David expected to see a small pile of bills and items to follow up with everything else filed in the desk. This afternoon the desk was a mess. Paid and unpaid bills, bank statements, library notices, letters and other paperwork was scattered on the desk, piled on a small table that normally contained framed photos and spilled on the floor. His uncle had time to watch 22 hours of Murder She Wrote, but did not have the energy to do personal tasks. He was especially alarmed when he discovered his uncle had not renewed his subscription to the Hartford Symphony.

Craig and David had been subscribers and contributors to the Hartford Symphony for over twenty years. They had rarely missed a performance always arranging their schedules to be available to attend the Friday evening concerts. If one of them was unable to attend the other would invite their next door neighbor, Gladys Stonewell to be his date. Some other times they bought her a ticket so she could attend with them. Gladys’ husband, Nick, appreciated the offer since his wife truly enjoyed the concerts and he detested the thought of sitting through an evening of boring music. He was not concerned that his wife was going out with another man. While he did not understand the details of the relationship between David and Craig, he did know neither was a threat to his marriage. If neither could attend they gave both tickets to Gladys and she would invite a woman friend to accompany her. She preferred going with the men. She felt elegant being escorted by refined, handsome men. Craig and David were pleased to take her. Conversations prior and after the performances were interesting as she always researched the composers and selections of the evening. Nick discovered a delightful side effect of her dates with the men next door. The satisfaction of attending the performance put her in a euphoric mood. After thirty-seven years of marriage their sex activates had tapered off. But, after spending the evening with David or Craig or both she was in the mood. Originally Nick used her concert attendance as an excuse to hang out with one of his buddies. Usually they attended local college basketball or other sport events. Eventually Nick decided to stay home, shower and be ready when his lady returned home satisfied with music and ready for lust. After Craig passed away, David continued to escort Gladys to the concerts.

Two months earlier, Gladys and Nick had invited David to their home for dinner the week of his birthday. He was shocked when she handed him a birthday card with a $100 Outback Steakhouse gift card enclosed. When David expressed surprise at such a generous gift, Gladys told him, ”I really appreciate attending the concerts.” With a smile on his face Nick chimed in, “Not as much as I appreciate not attending the musicals. It is a win-win situation for all of us.” What Nick did not share was the anticipation of and pleasure of the fantastic fuck he was getting after each concert.

CC took the subscription letter from the Symphony and Uncle David’s checkbook downstairs. “I noticed this communication from the Hartford Symphony on your desk. I know how much you enjoy the concerts. Why don’t you write out the check now, I’ll drop it in the mail.” Without protest and with a sense of relief, David wrote out the check and handed it to CC.

Feeling emboldened since his uncle had taken his advice with no protest CC continued, “Uncle David, I noticed you are getting a little behind in your personal paperwork. Your office is not as spic and span as I usually see it. You should catch up on it. When James and I return next weekend I hope you are up to date and organized as usual.”

James gave CC a ‘what the fuck’ look as they had plans to hike the Mattatuck Trail in scenic Litchfield County the following weekend. CC returned an ‘I’ll explain later look’. As they drove home James accepted CC’s decision to help Uncle David rather than hike and do what guys do in the forest. James loved David like a father and was happy to support him.

…………………………………….

October 2010

Three months later – David sat at his computer on a cool rainy fall evening playing Freecell solitaire. He had forced himself not to look at porn. Actually he was getting bored watching guys of various colors, ages and body sizes jerk off, suck and fuck. He had tried to use it as an inspiration to help himself get off and it just did not work. When the phone rang and he did not recognize the number he was attempted to not answer. He assumed it was just another junk call offering to extend his car warranty or install new windows or gutter guards. Although he had never had a direct conversation with the caller he recognized the voice.

“Hi David, Bob Robinson here. We have a small problem at Church. Bill Simpson, the treasurer, had a stroke last week. While a full recovery is expected, his wife, Beatrice, told me he will be in the hospital for a least a week followed by an indeterminable time in rehab. As chair of the Finance Committee, she gave me access to all the records. When you were on the Finance Committee three years ago, you seemed the person that most understand Bill’s reports. I have an immediate problem and longer term issue. My immediate problem is to determine the current general fund cash balance and pay bills. The check book appears to be in good order, but I want a second opinion before I start spending money. The longer term problem is accessing the detailed accounting records. They are all on Bill’s computer. Beatrice is willing to let me work at their home computer where the records are. But, I need help. First I need someone to help me figure out how to access them and secondly I would like to download the records and put them on my computer. I do not have the expertise to do this.” Before David could state that he had absolutely no expertise or knowledge in the area, Bob continued. “I know that you are friendly with our part-time organist, James Parker. I understand that he is a computer expert. Although James has moved to Stamford, I see him in church about once a month with you and your nephew. Would you be willing to help me determine the checkbook balance as soon as possible and also ask James if he could help us?”

The following evening David sat at the kitchen table in Bob’s home in suburban Wethersfield. The hospitalized treasurer’s books were easy to understand and they easily verified the checkbook balance and made a list of bills to pay. As chair of the Finance Committee, Bob had the authority to sign checks. However he did not want to do this without some oversight and was relieved that David was willing to check his work.

Although David had known Bob for years he had never had a conversation with him other than exchanging pleasantries at coffee hour after church and comments at Finance meetings years earlier. As they sat opposite each other at the kitchen table, he really noticed him for the first time.

Later in bed, David thought about his new acquaintance. He assumed Bob was in his mid-fifties. He had mentioned going to the gym. Suddenly David visualized him working out. He knew Bob was a widower as he remembered reading Bob’s wife’s obituary in the Hartford Courant two years earlier. Other than that he worked at TD Bank and had sparkling blue eyes and a sincere smile David knew nothing about him. For the first time in over a month he had sensuous feelings as he reached for his rising dick.