Exodus - 6. Week One: May 30th, 2030

Log May 30th 2030, Co-chief of Applied Sciences, 0900 Hours John Anderson Carlson

Well, we have just solved a mystery of where we came from. You know science fiction has always interested me. I guess that explains why I ended up with Andy, the biggest sci-fi fanatic that you will ever meet. Even so, Andy was stunned by what he heard last night. It was far more than what we had ever dreamed or feared.

About 200,000 years ago when humanity was still going through the evolutionary cycle that would eventually create modern man as we know of today, there was a technologically advanced civilization who were a branch species of humanity. They lived side by side with Homo sapiens and the Neanderthal. Greg understands this stuff better than I did but I learned enough to understand that this kid’s sub-species were the originators of the gay gene. In his time there were three sexes of human beings. They belong to a small group of hominids who did not conform to the standard heterosexual practices of procreation. I don’t know what he means by that, but it is an interesting thought. By the way, “he” seems to be the right term to use for the kid as he is male oriented versus female oriented. There’s a whole thing about masculine and feminine dynamics that went over my head but it’s not his biology or society that peaked my interests.

What surprised me most was that our trip to this rogue planet was not by accident.

Another ancient civilization had developed folding space technology which incorporates an artificial singularity at the point, where space can be warped or folded into itself. In order to establish a direction there would be two artificial singularities between star systems.

During a Cataclysmic war, which the kid wouldn’t go into deeply with us, their enemy bypassed the ancient pathway to Cygnus causing their fleet to appear out of “fold space” early and their entire fleet completely annihilated. The kid survived in a stasis pod, which he said was made by his father. I won’t lie that part of the revelations made me think of Superman’s origin story, but there were more shockers. The kid said he believed that our previous guerrilla war on earth was engineered by their enemies to eliminate any threat by humanity.

This rabbit hole is getting deeper and I know Ben has hands full with the murder investigation, but he needs to know this as soon as possible.

(***)

It was quite a night and the morning turned out to be quite interesting as well. John could be considered a closet scientific idealist in many regards; the counterpoint to his partner Andy’s overt idealism.

The strange child was still in the lab; he didn’t sleep once during the night. This exhilarated Greg, who also spent the entire night in the lab recording what he was learning about the boy and his history.

“Hey Greg, maybe you should go back to your room and check up on Adam,” John said.

“Oh Shit! I forgot what time it was. He must be wondering where I am. Maybe he’s crying,“ Greg spoke in a panic voiced.

“Relax, Andy checked up on him this morning. We figured you’d be in here by the way you acted last night,” John said calmly.

“You should go to him Greg. It’s a sad thing for a child to lose their parent,” the strange boy said.

Greg grabbed his notes and recorder and went straight out the lab to his room.

“Greg’s pretty focused on his work; I guess I will have to explain my part in all of this chaos. My name is John Anderson-Carlson, co-chief of applied sciences with my partner Andrew Anderson-Carlson. We basically handle all the physics, mathematical calculations, stellar cartography, scientific experiments, and theoretical things that we come upon during the journey, I hope this stuff doesn’t bore you,” John said.

The kid smiled, “Not at all. I read up on your files when my father’s pod entered your computer system. Sorry if it was a bit intrusive but it did get me up to date on the course of “humanity”, as you call our kind, after two hundred thousand years.”

“Thanks. I know that this might not be something you understand well, but you mentioned something about “fold space” and I’d like a better idea of what you mean,” John inquired. John’s directness did not shock the kid, which he expected, as most people found his frank and direct behavior a bit eccentric and borderline rude. It’s an odd truth about brilliant people; they demand to see results without empathy factoring in first.

“It is fine, you actually remind me of an uncle that I used to speak to. He was what you would consider and call “physicist” as well, in a way. Your science utilizes a different system than ours; we calculate thing utilizing a base-N formula versus your base 10. We don’t have a fixed counting system, instead we substitute your numeric values with finite sets,” the kid told John who was now very much at attention.

“How could you utilize a nonlinear finite set system of mathematics versus a fixed base system with infinite sets? I imagine it must have been very hard for your people,” John replied.

The kid nodded, “It is, in your language, “a pain in the ass” for calculating finite figures under physical perspective, but it does make sense. I know that some of your computers on-board utilize certain non-base 10 formulas for functions such as memory storage. Imagine having a similar capability in a biological computer like your brain. Eidetic memory is part of my species’ talents as you may have noticed from our conversation. I retain basically all the knowledge of my civilization like any other.”

John was thinking about the possibilities. With such a brain that can alternate at will the reception and storage of stimuli, it would be like having a thousand quantum computers at your finger tips.

John wanted to go back on topic, “Can we talk about “fold space”?”

The kid smiled, “Yes, fold space is not what you would call “warp” in your fictional idea of faster than light travel as I have read from your initial reports. I can see where you made the mistake with the quantum singularity as the beginning point and your electromagnetic field encasing your fleet during the journey. The exotic matter did not create a variable contracting and expanding space between the two points but it forced your fleet to bypass 4 dimensional limitations by augmenting the gravitational forces and entering a 10th dimensional route or “fold space”, roughly translated from my language.”

John was mesmerized and shocked, “Excuse me, I hope I understand you. Are you saying we travelled through another dimension?”

The kid was quick to reply, “Yes”

John was fully espousing his interest, “Wow! I can’t believe it. Heim’s theory was right. Electromagnetic forces can interact with local gravity, forcing an object to traverse another dimensional plane as consequence. This discovery could revolutionize space travel. Cygnus could be reached in a second.”

The kid gave a knowing gesture, “Sorry, but there are certain limitation and speed modifiers as you noticed from your journey and I discovered from my uncle. There are ways to force someone out of “fold space” and the strength of you magnetic field is variable depending on how fast you travel in fold space.”

John thought about it and realized the kid was right. Even if you are traversing another dimension, there’s still a directional component and degrees of “speed” or vectors to destination point would still apply. John also came upon a new question about Cygnus.

“Kid, does Cygnus have the same singularity slingshot like our solar system?” John asked.

The kid focused and began telling John Cygnus’ history, “Cygnus is the home of a very advanced civilization, which created the micro-singularities and developed this version of interstellar travel as a result for many other races. They’re extremely powerful but they are nonaggressive towards outsiders who do not show aggression towards them first. It was said that they once had a large empire among the stars from other races that have been in contact with them for millions of years but they had given up their empire and sought to encourage discovery and growth among other species. There are many legends about these beings; they are said to be able to incorporate themselves into other species to spur their evolutionary development.”

John, breathing heavily, was shocked of such an old civilization being around, “You’re telling me that these guys can manipulate black holes and are at least a million years old; I don’t know if they’re willing to allow us a piece of land to settle.”

“There are many ancient stories among my people about Cygnus. It was the first route to be mapped by our first ships. It is also the only place no one was allowed to go to without permission by our leaders. At one point in time a foolish military commander had urged an invasion of Cygnus; his fleet had gone and the next day everyone returned without memory of what had happened,” the kid said.

“Then, why did you guys plan on going to Cygnus?” John asked.

“We had an invitation to seek sanctuary among them but our enemies discovered what was happening and stopped us from reaching Cygnus,” the kid said sullenly.

Memories surfaced of the past and the kid started to cry softly.

Although John usually lacked distinct emotions, he felt an underlying urge to comfort the kid and realized what he must have felt. The kid was 200,000 years into the future with the last memory that all his loved ones were killed; it couldn’t be easy.

John placed his arm around the kid and tried to give him comfort, “Hey kid, I don’t know if I ever got you name.”

With his sobs growing, he blurted out, “My name is Nessus.”

(***)

An examined life is the key to happiness according to Socrates. Without freedom of thought there would be no life worth examining. However Socrates never examined the life of a “convie”. This morning Susan and Izzy have a difficult task ahead of them; they must have Billy examine his own life.

The life of a “convie” is a treacherous place to explore. Taking a page out of Huxley’s Brave New World, the Synod created programs of psychological impression and suppression for sexually “unnatural” youths through both institutions and families. Even in the 20th century, parenting books taught that as the parent you could “positively reinforce” good behavior. First, you must create an atmosphere of isolation from any stimuli that might encourage the behavior. Second, you must use authority to punish the child if such behavior is continued. Third, you must show the child the rewards and risks of such behavior by creating “positive” situations. Finally, if all else fails consult a psychiatrist for the appropriate measures, usually drugs by the early 21st century due to the connection between practice and large pharmaceutical companies.

Most people thought nothing of these tactics to encourage good behavior, some applauded these actions. This practice developed as the Synod version became a home grown example of a much more sinister conversion therapy. No single person can be blamed for wanting their child to be “perfect” or “better” than they were. When parents found out exactly which child would become a homosexual with genetic testing after birth, it became a health issue like stigmatism or autism. Genetic therapy could only do so much for the affected child, so the parents became active advocates. When a child could not be changed by such conversion therapies, then they were sent to a psychiatrist who would advice further treatments of drugs and possibly “institutional” placement.

Some would characterize Benjamin Cross’ resistance as extreme with their counter approach, “rescuing” or stealing infants from the hospital after the testing was confirmed. In such a world, after everything is factored in, such as the facilities, where torture of children would take place, or the death sentences that were carried out for failures in therapy, there is no pure good or evil.

No child should go through that type of hell, but many did. Isaac Lawrence was born October 20th 2015, His genetic condition was discovered at age two with an expression of 0.95, and his family tried to “cure” him through both conventional “methods” and gene therapy. Even though they tried to get him into the traditional model of a growing boy, he was not like the other children. The final straw was at age 9, when he was discovered playing sexual games with a male friend. It was basically wrestling without shirts on, but the activity was deemed sexual in nature. The other boy had gone through similar gene therapy, but he had a lower initial genetic expression variance of 0.70, which was beyond the standard gene therapy threshold of treatments. The parents of both boys submitted them for psychiatric evaluation and both were institutionalized. For the next three years, Isaac received daily doses of drug therapy and psychological adjustment therapy. When tested at the end of each year, he still failed to pass the litany of examinations and was subjected to increasing levels of depraved acts.

Isaac Lawrence was freed during a rescue operation by the resistance as his initial brain and bio-chemical surgeries were being administered prior to puberty. Today, everyone knows him as Isaac Alan or Izzy.

There are few others that know the pain and humiliation which Billy had gone through other than Izzy. There’s an infinite pain in such an existence and an infinite source of remorse, which stems from the feelings of guilt that you were taught to feel over your existence. Examining the life of a “convie” is at best dangerous and at worst deadly.

Billy was beginning to question his beliefs but he was nowhere near stability\, when an unexpected guest came.

“I hoped they had to amputate your arm but I guess I did not throw deep enough,” Billy said to his new guest.

Benjamin Cross looked at Billy and saw another image filled with regret and deep sorrow, “I think you did pretty well with the throwing. If I didn’t use my arm to deflect, you would have killed me. Well, there’s always next time.”

Ben made a jovial laugh, which Izzy and Susan both caught.

“Uncle Ben, why are you here? I thought you’d be on the industrial ship with the investigation or the research ship with the alien pod.” Izzy said with an emphasis on the latter part. He found out through his friends on the research ship that Bobby was onboard assisting his mom. Izzy was slightly jealous but he knew that he would be more help to Billy than an “alien”.

“I’ll be heading to the Research ship next; finally at the end, I’ll head to the industrial ship. I just wanted to check on Billy’s condition,” Ben said and gave glances to Susan and Izzy. They responded without words with head shakes and facial expressions as Susan handed a report to Ben.

“How do you think I am doing? I am stuck in a room with a woman that has never touched another man and a boy, who might want to get into my pants. How do you think I am doing, faggot?” Billy loudly retorted.

“One day, you’ll offer me an apology for that outburst Billy, but I want you to remember to never say sorry to me. I deserved that,” Ben replied calmly with memories of lifetimes past.

“Are you okay Ben?” Susan asked with a look of concern for her brother in law, who was acting peculiar.

“I’ll explain it to you later, but right now, you should focus your efforts on trying to get Billy thinking again,” Ben said.

With puzzled looks on their faces, Ben left the room.

(***)

“There’s always a dame in the middle of a case” as Humphrey Bogart would say. Karen was not a femme fatale in any respect but she was hiding things from Myrden, who was keenly observing her responses.

“So let me get this straight, you and Miguel left Eli’s class but he decided to go see Patrick back in their quarters rather than go with you. You must have felt jealous,” Myrden stated.

“I didn’t kill Miguel; I’m not a murderer. Look, he had to love Patrick more than me because he felt like he had to. Look around here, do you think if we “came out” as a couple people would respect it?” Karen said with an outraged expression.

“You’re telling me that Patrick was the third wheel in your little love triangle. Karen, I’ve been hearing things from other people like you were making moves on Miguel at the base before we left and how you had tricked him into being with you after you were dumped by your ex-girlfriend Nicole,” Myrden said and wrote down her reactions.

“Look, maybe, I was a little upset with Nicole breaking up with me but I really did love Miguel. It was Patrick who held him back from me,” Karen replied a bit calmer than before.

“Well, what if Miguel actually did love Patrick and you were just a one shot deal for him to test out whether he could be with a girl? What would you have done?” Myrden pressed on.

“Fuck, I would say good for you and let him be happy,” Karen raised her voice while showing briefly an emotion of sadness.

“You don’t sound like you believed that,” Myrden jotted the emotional response with the underlined phrase, Predicative Motive: Miguel was leaving her, need confirmation.

He dismissed Karen for the third time in 24 hours to guarded custody, while he had Patrick brought in again.

Patrick was even less receptive to questioning than Karen as he had physically attacked Myrden twice for questioning his relationship with Miguel. Patrick was incredibly defensive about his relationship and there was a dangerous expression emanating from him.

Myrden looked over Patrick, who was a well toned 15 year old, “Well, Patrick, don’t try to sucker punch me again when I ask you a question, or else you might get more than jab from me next time. Now, we left off with you telling me that Karen and Miguel were involved. I told you that I wouldn’t have taken that from him and any other man would have fought back.”

“I didn’t touch Miguel; I loved him more than anyone else in this universe. It must have been that bitch Karen. She was always trying to get his attention and making faces every time Miguel was around. I stood by him and told him if he was going through a stressful time with leaving earth and everything, I would let him try to find himself,” Patrick said with a subdued reaction. He was trying to control his rage and frustration but his teenage hormones and grief over Miguel’s death wouldn’t allow him. Myrden knew what Patrick might be going through with his own experience of losing his partner during a rescue mission but he couldn’t let possible sympathy get into his mind. He had to be un-biased over this investigation as both suspects were equally probable as a murderer.

“There’s only a certain limit any relationship can stand, so you allow him to date a girl; yet, you must have heard things from friends before we left earth. I got eyewitness testimony telling me that you were feeling pushed out of Miguel’s life. They tell me that you two have had a dozen fights over this issue and you were threatening to do harm to Miguel if you had the chance,” Myrden continued to add pressure to Patrick who was on the verge of breaking down.

“Look Myrden, I didn’t kill him. I loved him. Yeah, I was jealous over Karen because I wanted him to be with me and comfort me like he used to. I wanted to know for certain that I will wake up each morning with him by my side. I just wanted my boyfriend back,” Patrick replied.

“Then tell me, what if Miguel had told Karen that he was going to see you later to break things off? What if he Miguel was leaving you? I heard you had a big fight the night before his death in your room, where you said it was either “Karen or me” to Miguel,” Myrden said.

Patrick fell silent. Myrden knew he was a bit hard on Patrick but he needed to apply more pressure in order to get answers from the boy.

He never interrogated a teenager before in practice so he did not understand what striking a few chords could do to either of them.

“I won’t answer anymore questions,” Patrick responded with a smile and crossed his arms. Myrden jotted down, Predicative Motive: Miguel was leaving him, need confirmation.

This case has one important piece of information missing about who Miguel had chosen to be with. Myrden knew he didn’t have enough evidence to prove one or the other possibilities; there was also the fact that this case had become well known throughout the fleet. There’s no news like scandal and sex, especially in a small population like the fleet.

(***)

“Hey Jeffy, we should go to my room,” Adam Faust said mischievously.

Ben saw his young son run to Adam’s side and smiled with a sullen look. Greg was dazed with the full exhaustion of last night’s meeting being fully realized in his constant yawns.

“Let me guess, you pulled an all night session with Nessus,” Ben said without noticing that he knew the kid’s name before having ever met him personally.

“It turns out the kid is a “he” or masculine identified member of his subspecies; all this stuff is blowing my mind away…” Greg said with a long pause, “Sorry, I’m a bit exhausted, if it wasn’t for Andy watching Adam earlier, I would have been even worse off.”

“It’s fine; there’s only so much that you can learn in one night, but what you have learned is more than enough for everyone to ponder,” Ben said and abruptly left his friend’s quarters to the laboratory.

On his way he saw a tired Bobby Alan in the pantry.

Ben glanced over at his nephew, “Hey Bobby, I think you and your mom should get a little rest; I bet both of you are exhausted from last night.”

Bobby nodded without saying a word, probably due to fatigue and shock at what he learned from the conversation last night with the “boy”.

As Ben entered the room he observed John, who was usually apathetic, comforting Nessus. Ben felt his own guilt rushing through his very core being. The memories from his “inner self”, his name for his internal consciousness, had revealed many things to him and many things yet to be known.

Nessus saw Ben come into the room and his sobs quickly ended. It was an odd pause that John observed.

“How’s our grouchy physicist doing?” Ben said in jest. John looked at Ben cautiously and tried to figure out how to tell him what they found out.

“Ben, there’s a lot of stuff that you, Susan, and Brett need to know; I don’t know where to begin. The stuff about the kid’s biology and people is already big enough; I bet Greg is going to give you an earful after he gets a good night’s rest…There are also a lot of new applications for his theoretical faster than light travel; it’ll blow your mind…Then, there’s a big security issue looming over this enemy that the kid thinks is connected with the Synod back on earth. Damn, I don’t know where to begin,” John blurted in one breath as he tried to coherently form his sentences.

“Relax John, I want to talk to Nessus alone,” Ben said with assurance to a frantic John.

“Okay, there’s some touchy stuff about his past that you should be careful about but I know you are good with kids,” John started to leave the room. Once out of the laboratory, John realized that he had never told Ben the kid’s name but he rationalized that Greg must have told him.

Back in the laboratory, Ben started by turning off the recording devices, “It’s been a long time since we talked. For what it’s worth, Nessus, I’m sorry. I’m not totally sure about anything at this moment, but the memories from your time and the actions that I took back then are enough to convince me about some things. I don’t know who I am anymore but I know that I shouldn’t have asked you to make this sacrifice,” Ben spoke with remorse.

Nessus looked Ben in the eye and softly spoke, “I knew you would come eventually; I saw the DNA profile in the computer records so I knew you were leading this fleet to Cygnus. The genetic sequence might be different but the bio-chemical distribution patterns were the same. I just want to ask, what happened after you placed me in the pod?”

Ben sighed deeply, “The fleet was destroyed, I self destructed the ships and took out their massive ambushing forces. I guided everyone’s souls, if that’s what you would call it, back to earth for gradual insemination back to the life cycle. At the darkest moment we won a great victory that lasted for thousands of years for the universe as a whole. The price was severe; the diminished population from the centuries of conflict and the insurrection, led by the Homo sapiens, had basically resulted in the extinction of your race through attrition and biological assimilation. You are the last of your kind in existence.”

Nessus was shocked, “You said you would protect us, you guided us to many victories in our conflict, but you destroyed everything. Why?”

Ben’s mind was flooded by knowledge and memories from endless reaches of time and space, “I tried to bring them to higher ground to the heavily fortified position at Cygnus as I had done with my own race millions of years before. I had warned your people long ago about the practices that they had taken, like enslaving the Homo sapiens and other beings on earth. You remember and you agreed with me about the dark nature of such a system. I take the greatest blame for ultimately destroying your civilization, but your species actions have reverberated into the present and unto your descendants. The old and new alliances of our common foe and the Homo sapiens’ population was a result of their treatment from long ago. Today, the blatant genocide was a byproduct of this hidden history.”

Nessus’ sobbing began with fresh lamentations, “We’re all flawed and you are among the most flawed beings in this universe. You placed me in the pod to preserve what was left of the species? You remorseful fool; I would have gladly died with my lover and be happy. You had no right to do this to me, who are you to say that I should be the last?”

Ben grew cold and had dreaded this conversation, “It was because you were my son. You had the best parts of me and your species as a whole. Many of those souls are here with us on this voyage as you may have noticed; I did what I could to keep my promise. Everyone knew what was at stake if they had won the last war; the enemy pulled in every last ship and ally that they possessed in order to stop our fleet from reaching Cygnus and augmenting the gathering forces there. They wanted to hold everyone on earth to gradually weaken your species,”

Ben’s inner consciousness was buzzing with words and emotions. As Benjamin Cross he understood what his inner self had done in order to preserve this civilization and the love that he shared for this child. It was an effort of love, if a bit petty for such an old life form.

In his heart Nessus knows that this man standing before him is not his father who took those actions. Yet, he was felt a great sadness for what he had lost and what his people and their descendants had to endure for these eons. Even if they had brought it on themselves, the sins of one species should not be carried forward unto their offspring.

“Do you honestly think that they will survive this voyage if we could not before?” Nessus asked.

“I can have faith that they will with my full effort; our enemy is still not ready to face any foe openly despite what happened on earth. They have only acted through intermediary powers in the last several thousand years. 200,000 years ago I dealt them a powerful blow after the loss of their fleet and many of their allies. It took them this long to rebuild and recuperate any semblance of their prior power. During the last 2,000 years they had begun their actions again, slower than before. Rest easy, our fleet will reach Cygnus this time, no matter what,” Benjamin Cross replied and embraced Nessus.

(***)

Eli’s industrial production ship was busy with activity. The security team was retracing Miguel’s actions before his death again, while Myrden questioned witnesses again in order to establish the true predicating motive. Beyond the investigation, the clock was still running throughout the ship for the construction efforts of the 10 ships. The 5 other industrial manufacturing ships were on schedule with their components and Eli was leading the effort, so he didn’t want to be the one dragging his foot.

Brian went to work immediately after he came back with utmost speed alongside his mentor and adoptive father Eli. To speed things up, Eli developed a directed hull compartment creation program with emphasis towards the new science ships and hospital ship first, then the freighters and the explorer ship, which Ben actively worked with Eli on.

“Sir, I don’t feel like going without you,” Brian said as he tried to assure a reluctant Eli.

“Brian, please don’t call me sir, the christening ceremony for the medical and science ships is going to happen with or without me. I don’t need to be there. Besides, we have 6 more ships to build and this design that Ben is asking for is not easy,” Eli responded, resolutely denying his adopted son’s request.

“If you won’t go, then I won’t,” Brian added.

“Nonsense, Brian, you should go. Maybe you will meet some nice guys,” Eli responded.

“Well, I don’t know how to umm…meet boys,” Brian answered, which Eli finally understood the boy’s reluctance. Eli had forgotten that Brian was still a teenager with insecurities despite the circumstances and responsibility that he carried.

Eli thought, “Well, you got one obstacle out of the way. Most of the boys around you are interested in other guys. It’s a lot easier than it used to be.”

“Yeah, but…umm…you might think I am nuts. This thing with Miguel got me thinking; how do you know if the guy you like is going to love you even if you know they love you?” Brian asked.

Eli thought back at his partner and their sexually open relationship during their youth, “I guess it’s a matter of trust. Do you love someone enough to let them go into a situation, where they may leave you for another? Most people are too possessive to ever allow such a situation to occur but there are real intimate couples that understand each other’s needs for such an action. The only way to know would be to try. From this line of questioning, I guess you have someone in mind and pushing me to go with you is simply an excuse to not talk to him as my presence would scare him off. It’s stupid that you aren’t going to the ceremony for this.”

Brian felt completely naked, metaphorically speaking, in front of Eli, “Sorry sir for bringing this to you. I should have known that my childish behavior was insulting your intelligence.”

Eli saw his reaction had scared Brian; Eli realized for a brief moment Brian was treating him like a father. Eli cursed his words, when suddenly everything turned to darkness.

Eli could hear Brian screaming for him to get up, but there was no use. Eli couldn’t get back up.

Eli thought, “Was this really it? I guess the late night session must have pushed my system over the edge. Oh God, if I’m gonna go out like that in front of Brian, even Susan couldn’t get him out of that emotional hole. Oh fuck, the advice too. Why the hell did I only tell him to go for it without giving him some warnings? Hell, I’m no role model to base his life on; damn it if you were here Alex, I bet you’d know what to do. Then again, we were pretty stupid and crazy as kids, too.”

Eli remembered the first time that he and his partner, Alex, tried out a threesome.

(1975, New York City)

Eli was a product of a different era. Brought up with a carefree attitude and open minded parents in the 1960’s, he was able to have things that many others in the fleet could only imagine. Alex, his long term partner, was his best friend. Since they were 5 years old; they practically did everything together. Their parents were very liberal with their upbringing so when the boys raced around their house naked into their teenage years, no one batted an eyebrow. They discovered masturbation, oral sex, and anal penetration with one another first. Both boys loved each other but they wanted more than just what the other could give. It was a perpetual horniness. It was hard to find friends willing to try their little games but they managed throughout middle school up to college.

By the time Eli was 18, Alex and he were attending NYU together. They both were studying structural engineering. It was a foregone conclusion that they would be living together as they arranged for their school assigned roommates to switch rooms with them.

“E.L., like you think we should play some music with the 8-trak?” Alex asked Eli with the nickname that he’s been using since their childhood.

“That’s sick. Some background music while we do it with Kev’, you know feel a little funky like a movie star or something,” Eli replied.

“Like I hope he’ll be chill man. Remember that burn-out you brought back to the dorm the other night?” Alex smirked. Eli was clubbing like he always did and found a hot guy that he hoped to fuck that night. Alex was busy writing a paper so he couldn’t join in or take seconds. Well, the guy was coked out of his mind and tried to jump Eli’s bones when Eli opened the door to their pad. Luckily, Alex quickly reacted and kicked the scumbag out.

“Kevin Cross from our math class, you know the short shy guy,” Eli reminded Alex.

“Awesome, he’s sort of cute,” Alex replied with a surprised look from Eli, “Hey, we’re not like a married couple or anything man, but it would take a million Kevin’s to break us up.”

“Far out idea, two guys getting married; I’d like to see that happen,” Eli snapped back and turned on the 8-trak.

Kevin arrived a few minutes later and the guys were just mellowing out. They were smoking a few doobies so the atmosphere was pretty chill.

“Dudes, I never done this before. Like my bud and I used to jack each other’s dicks and sucked each other off. Like I only fucked girls before,” Kevin told Eli and Alex.

“Like Kev’, the lowdown is I don’t think anyone really has done a threesome until they do it, so you know we can try right now,” Eli said with hand over Alex’s crotch.

All conversation ceased.

Kevin was dressed in a white shirt and jeans while Eli and Alex were dressed in white and green polo shirts and sweatpants. There was moistness in the air which is common from the old water heating units during the winter months. As NYU was going through a financial crisis, maintenance in the dormitory had been cut and students would have to bear the burden of discomfort. It wasn’t the most idyllic setting for sex of any kind with piles of clothing and notebooks lying on the floor, but there was something natural for the three boys.

Eli began first by slowly taking off Kevin’s shirt, revealing a skinny frame with a tight mid-section. Alex signaled him to back off; he wanted to explore Kevin first. Eli then began removing his clothing.

Alex, with one hand, worked on Kevin’s belt and unzipped Kevin’s fly. With his other hand, Alex explored Kevin’s body slowly and methodically. The tight midsection was smooth to the touch. As Alex unfastened Kevin’s belt he placed his lips onto Kevin’s nipples. Slowly, he began sucking as if he were starving for it.

Kevin flailed with a wave of pleasure from his nipples being manipulated by Alex. Kevin watched as Eli undressed and exposed his well tanned body with a trail of hair going towards his pubic region. Kevin’s eyes and mouth were watering with anticipation.

Eli was completely undressed and saw that Kevin’s jean and briefs had been thrown aside revealing a sensually tantalizing body. Only Alex remained clothed and Eli knew how to take care of that. With one tap on Alex’s shoulders the hint was given.

Alex removed himself from Kevin’s body and got into a deep passionate kiss with Eli, thanking him for proposing this ménage de trois. Eli used his hands in one motion to pull off Alex’s sweatpants and underwear. Alex pulled his shirt off at the same time revealing an equally tanned and toned body as Eli, possibly due to the years of open nudity between them.

Eli then began kissing Alex’s neck and slowly making his way down to his cock. This move was usually how they started off their sexual activities which were limited to only them. Eli knew exactly which point of Alex’s cock to stimulate in order to excite his lover while prolonging the inevitable orgasmic experience. Eli’s tongue was diligently working around the mid-section and parts of the head.

With all this going on, Kevin sat there naked and amazed at these two guys but felt a bit left out as he was merely watching the action after the nipple stimulation from Alex.

Alex took notice of the naked boy in front of him and the naked boy watching them on the side. He gazed into Eli’s eyes and gave a slight nod in the direction of Kevin.

Eli took the hint as he went towards Kevin and gave the newcomer a passionate kiss. Alex started trailing Eli’s cock with his tongue. Alex used his hands to continue exploring Kevin with emphasis on his chest and torso.

Kevin wanting to return the favor began exploring both boys with his hands. The exploration and stimulation was merely the beginning in the course of sexual activities as Eli desired something else.

Pulling his lips from Kevin, he asked, “You wanna Fuck, Kev?”

Kevin’s mind had thought about this possibility when Eli had asked him if he wanted to have a three way with Alex, “Only if I get to fuck you first.”

Eli nodded and pulled away to get the lubricant.

Alex wanted in on the action as well, “Can I fuck you while you fuck Eli?”

Taking notice at the size of their cocks, Kevin noticed that Alex’s was around 6-7” inches hard while Eli’s was 11-12” inches. It would be better to have Alex first just to get him adjusted.

“Sure,” Kevin said with a lustful tone.

Eli sat back as Kevin lubed his fingers. Kevin began by observing his target, an inviting pinkish hole. His fingers slid in without difficulty; Eli had learned from experience with Alex and other boys how to control his contraction muscles. Kevin didn’t know this fact and thought that Eli might prove to be looser than he really was.

As Kevin worked his fingers on Eli, Alex was working on Kevin. It was strange exploring such a tight area. Alex knew that, unlike Eli, Kevin would likely be unable to control his involuntary responses during his first penetration. Alex wanted to make this experience enjoyable for Kevin and possibly keep him as a friend for some future fun together.

Fingers were slipping in and out rapidly and the moment of truth was about to occur. Kevin and Alex both began lubing their own cocks. Kevin tried to equally distribute the lube on his entire cock while Alex focused on the head of his cock in order to make the entry easier.

Eli positioned himself with his knees and hands on the ground. Alex motioned Kevin to straddle Eli in a bent position while Alex would take a standing position behind Kevin.

Kevin’s cock began making the first entry into Eli, who was not as loose as he was led to believe. The tightness of the anal wall was incredible for Kevin who had never felt such a tight fuck in his life. If that was not enough, Alex had broken through Kevin’s defenses and was stimulating his prostate with each motion.

Grunts and moans could be heard loudly from each of the boys as they began to synchronize their motions. Eli timed his contractions with Kevin’s thrusting motions and Kevin timed his thrusts with each stimulating thrusts from Alex.

It wasn’t too long before Kevin couldn’t bear the physical pleasure any longer and his orgasm came with full fury inside Eli. Kevin’s orgasm was noticed by Eli and Alex, who slowed down their rhythm, then stopped as Kevin pulled out of Eli. Alex felt a bit cheated as he didn’t reach his orgasm, but he understood that Kevin was inexperienced with fucking. If anything, Kevin was a good one time experience like other guys that he’s been with.

Eli, noticing Alex’s longing, knew exactly what was next.

“Awesome fuck Kev’. Let’s change it up now. I want you to lie on the floor with your feet in the air while I fuck you facing me. Alex, I know you need release man, so you should step to the side and I’ll suck you off,” Eli directed.

“I’ll suck Alex off. I want to repay him,” Kevin offered with a surprised look from Eli and Alex. Most guys are usually into gay sex for their own personal pleasure, but Kevin was surprisingly reciprocal.

Eli followed through his motions and started the lubing process. He inserted his cock slowly into Kevin’s ass. He knew that he was much larger than Alex so it was best to slowly go through the motions. Inch by inch disappeared inside Kevin who had surprisingly regained a semi-erect penis from such stimulations.

Alex had used a small rag to wipe off his cock and positioned himself by Kevin’s head. Kevin began working vigorously with his tongue on Alex’s cock.

The escalation was getting more intense as each boy was reaching his orgasmic threshold. Eli and Alex had learned how to prolong or even increase the amount of physical stimulation to get each other to this singular focal point, but Kevin was relatively new to the entire concept and was feeling a second orgasmic episode oncoming as Eli was about to reach his orgasm. Even Alex had to admit that Kevin was a natural in oral sex; he was expecting to shoot in a matter of moments due to Kevin’s inexperience, but he was enjoying the same gradual build up that had occurred.

Eli, Alex, and Kevin were at the point of no return.

“Fuck!” Eli screamed.

(Onboard the non-commissioned medical ship)

“You got to treat yourself better Eli. We almost lost you there,” Dr. Franklin Lee said. Dr. Franklin Lee was a primary care physician with specialties in oncology, pediatrics, and radiology.

“Franky, how did I get onboard?” Eli said in a whisper as he noticed the room around him was an in-patient recovery room on the new medical ship.

“Well, Brian tried to get Abigail; she was on the science ship, but she quickly dispatched a new automated medical transport to the industrial ship. I was inspecting the facilities on our new ship along with some of the other doctors and kids in rotation. You were barely alive when we got to you. The cancer cells in your blood stream started a clot which we removed with nano-surgery. You’ve been overworking yourself and letting your system create havoc,” Franky said.

“Well, it is ironic that what nearly killed me was the breakneck speed of the new ships’ construction and what saved me was one of the new ships that was just completed,” Eli said with a small smile.

“You’re going to need a lot of rest; I know your condition is incurable, but it can be managed if you actively monitor it,” Franky responded in a professional manner to showcase the seriousness of the matter.

“They said the same thing about AIDS back in the 90’s when I got it. Most of my best friends died in the 80’s before it was manageable. Alex, Kevin, and I were really lucky; we kept up living like it was still the 70’s for a whole decade without ever getting infected. Franky, I don’t regret my choices; I know they might have been stupid in many ways, but I think it is better to live a full life than to contemplate on what could have been. I know I will die, so why not contribute something like new ships while I can still breathe?” Eli said with a passionate tone. Eli’s near death memory of his first sexual experience with Kevin Cross was still fresh on his mind.

If it wasn’t for Kevin, he’d have been dead sooner. They became incredibly close friends without having the issues of jealousy that might develop in such an odd sexual relationship. The three boys moved into an apartment together where Eli and Alex kept up their steady stream of sexual partners, but Kevin was somehow able to keep Eli and Alex from going out with certain friends who had become infected by the so called “gay plague”. Eli and Alex noticed the trend and named Kevin their “little crystal ball”, for his uncanny ability. Kevin did eventually find a girl, Samantha or Sam as he called her, who he loved, but he remained their friend and occasional sexual partner. Sam was fully supportive of Kevin’s relationship with Alex and Eli as she understood that he loved them all equally. When Kevin wanted to name his son, it was Eli and Alex who got the special privilege as godfathers. However, before the birth of his son, Benjamin “Elias” Cross, he died in a car accident.

With Kevin gone, Eli and Alex had a rather dark period in their lives. They engaged in drugs and random hookups every night. When they became infected in 1993 they were ready to just end their lives. Sam tried to get the guys help but her words alone were not enough. She died late in 1993 around thanksgiving, leaving the care of her son to Alex and Eli as Kevin had wanted in case of both their deaths. Ben added the element of stability in their lives that had been missing after Kevin had died. They started taking their medications and their lives became full again despite the shortened span.

“Just remember that Brian looks up to you. He was devastated when he thought he lost you. He’ll be here on the next transport,” Franky said with a somber tone.

“He’s a lot smarter than I was at his age; although, he’s also a lot lonelier than I was. Maybe he’ll avoid my stupidity. I don’t know; I’m not a role model for anyone. I wish Brian was looking up to Ben; he’s a better role model for people than I would be. Ben is like Kevin; methodical and honest about the facts around him. If some kid had stabbed me in the arm, I’d be cursing rather than making a gigantic speech about changing mankind. Franky, I’m old and I don’t want to change how I lived my life; but I don’t want Brian to live like me either,” Eli responded.

“You raised Ben to be the man he is. I know you will be good for Brian, too. It’s natural to feel ambiguous about the next generation but it is in your power to teach them to live their own lives instead of choosing lives for them. In order for freedom to have meaning you got to give them the courage to live free and make their mistakes,” Franky said with a bit more optimism after hearing Eli’s doubts.

(***)

Benjamin Cross had just arrived on the industrial production ship. He knew that there were several things to look into. On his way to a conference room, where Brett and Myrden had gathered the investigation team for a report on Miguel’s murder, he saw Brian frantically running to the transports. Brian was carrying piles of clothing, books, and other little trinkets, which were obviously overwhelming him.

“Brian, the transport for the new medical ship is not coming for an hour; I double checked with James on new flight plans for the pilots,” Ben said as he looked at Brian. Ben knew things about Brian, but he had to remain silent.

“Sorry Ben, I was thinking about Eli. I shouldn’t have burdened him with my problems; I don’t know what to say to him when I see him. I screwed things up; it was my fault that he almost died” Brian said in darkened tone. Ben grabbed several books and placed them on the ground with tender care. He stared at Brian and saw Alex in his sullen expression. In a flash he saw a sexual encounter between Alex, Eli, and his father, whose body his consciousness inhabited at the time.

(In Ben’s mind)

Ben thought about this event in his mind and for once his inner self was completely silent.

Ben shouted to his inner self, “So you or I or whatever will reveal the secrets of the universe. Yet, when it comes to my life in the here and now, you are silent.”

Silence

“He practically raised me with Eli; I owe it to Eli to tell him before anything else happens. I just don’t know if I should; how do I explain that Brian is Alex. Brian’s life is nothing like Alex’s life? He had an abusive upbringing and a large deal of screwed up crap due to the Christian Synod. If he finds out, I can only imagine the crap that will hit the fan. Then, I have to tell them the big kicker, I’m my own father, who knew that he would die and still wanted to be part of their lives. By the way, thanks for the memory of the three-way with them, I think Susan will enjoy that scene in therapy,” Ben loudly shouted to his inner self.

In the darkness of his mind, a voice reached out, “What is love? Is it transitional ideal like a one night stand, or an eternal presence that transcends sexual bonds?”

Ben, for all his new insights, didn’t understand the question, “Love is…”

He thought about it. What is love really? Many human beings look far and wide for someone to love as a romantic partner. If they do not find anyone they take solace in loving their family members for the remainder of their lives. Some are not as fortunate and have most of their family members die early in life; the lonely ones question the very belief of love and happiness, but some do eventually find a lover that they can be with. On the other side of the spectrum, the rare lucky ones have many lovers in their lives.

Yet, what if love isn’t about being with someone in a sexual encounter, or in your current lifetime?

“Love is…” Ben tries to tell his inner self, but he could not find the words or knowledge in scouring every part of his memory and the memories of all his past personas.

“Love is not a physical connection at the moment; that is simply lust. Love is not a familial connection during a lifetime; that is instinct. Love is a connection greater than reproduction and instinct, which guide the physical forms. None of our previous forms would have recollections of this knowledge as it is a hidden truth in existence that we lose each lifetime. Our mind is open to images and emotions of the past, but the knowledge in our consciousness is not revealed in those memories. We are unique in that way,” Ben’s inner self affirmed.

“You still haven’t answered me. Should I tell Eli? You are avoiding my question by going through all this stuff about love to avoid answering,” Ben said indignantly.

“We have shown the path to the answer, now we should get back to Brian as he is in need of comfort,” his inner self said as he got back to the outside world.

(A mere few seconds have past)

“Brian, I bet Eli misses you and he loves you. A part of you knows that in any event his love for you won’t diminish,” Ben said in his most reassuring tone with an odd aura of support that Brian seems to accept for reasons beyond his knowledge. Ben left the boy to sort out his emotions and grabbed the excess books, clothing, and other material, while he left an old copy of the book Of Mice and Men, which he knew Eli loved as it was a first edition that Alex gave him for his 21st birthday.

After the short exchange, Brian waited silently in the docking area for the transport as he tried to find the words to deliver to his mentor, adoptive father, and idol. The meeting with Ben had helped him see things clearer than before; somehow, Brian knew that Eli would always love him.

Ben dropped off the belongings in Eli’s room and went straight to the meeting site.

When he arrived the room was completely silent as if the very atmosphere had been drained; Ben looked at Brett, who gave a speechless expression. Myrden was sitting with a guilt ridden look as tears flowed down his cheek.

“Patrick killed himself due to grief over Miguel; they learned it moments before,” Ben’s inner self told him with noticeably disturbed tone, “Love may turn to destruction if there is enough doubt and fear. It is not purely good as some may believe.”

Suddenly, Myrden in a loud wail ended the room’s silence, “I killed him; it was me. If I hadn’t been such a son of bitch over him throwing a punch at me; Patrick would have lived.”