Inside The Mind Of Me - 1. Chapter 1 - The Safe Room

Intelligent people tend to talk about the facts. They don't sit around and call each other names. That's what you can find on a third grade playground.

And then you found a way to escape, but would it be the place you imagine? Your vision is a room, twin bed, tile floor, and a window that reveals a bright blue sky, you find it's perfect at a nice 75 degrees. You take comfort in the quiet isolation.

The best part about being alone is that you really don't have to answer to anybody. You do what you want. I never said, 'I want to be alone.' I said, 'I want to be left alone.' There is the difference. But on the opposite side, I want to be loved and pulled in, it always depends on my emotions.

Isolation is a dream killer.

The night is calm and there is peace and you are okay, that room protects you from everything. You will think of the past, you will cry, and you may back out or feel doubt of the unknown, questioning whether you will find this room you imagine. That is when the fear rises and it happens because everything you imagine turns out to be a disappointment.

When the stress becomes too deep or too hard, you always think about the room. And all these crazy people that are creating your hell, they should be the ones to check into a psyche ward. That would serve a better purpose over you admitting yourself just to escape for a few, hopefully, precious days. If you go, there will be a time...

When you leave?

You will need isolation because some people really care, maybe they care to much? and you will never know until you leave isolation. You may be terrified to go into the real world, a place where conflict happens. You may be scared and end up with the wrong people and that is a feeling of darkness. A moment where you wish you were there, in that safe room.

Reality has so many possibilities and it's far from your safe little room.

You will never forget that room that made all the bad go away, then you have to hope that you gained strength, enough to take on life, because while peaceful, you should never have to admit yourself just because the stress and the emotions and all the chaos around you. All you can hope for is becoming stronger and hoping that some day life will change for you.