Inside The Mind Of Me - 3. Reaching For Something That's Not There

What is life if there is nothing to reach for? Not a goal, not a dream? Not a friend? Not a life? What is existing when it is merely existing just to be? When it is only because you are only afraid of what is beyond? When it is only because you know that you could never turn back if transcending is worse than merely being? It's nothing.

It's reaching for something that's not there.

Like a hunger, a human hunger to feel alive for a human is supposed to be alive so long as they exist here. Otherwise they could be left, all alone, abandoned, questioning their very purpose. It's a pain no one could imagine unless they experienced it for themselves. And the others, the ones around that have no idea, the ones that are completely clueless, they think you can just shake out of it, flip the switch, the light comes on and fights away the darkness.

That's not how it works for like the sun rises, the sun sets, for like the light comes, the darkness comes. Like the eternal battle of good and evil, there must be light and dark. But what is one to do when they are stuck in this darkness that they can't climb their way out of?

And then that is when you realize what you're reaching for. You're reaching for a light but that light's not there. You don't know why but where you are, when the sun rises, the suns light never breaks through to you and the day goes by and you never feel the warmth, always the constant coldness in the dark.

And then you start to wonder if maybe that is where you belong for trying to belong anywhere else always fails? Maybe you were damned from the start? And then you just lose your words...and the emptiness sets in.