Inside The Mind Of Me - 2. The Path To Life Or Death

It's like a fork in the road, it's fall time and the leaves have all changed into different shades of oranges and yellows and they hang so delicately to the trees that forever stand in the forest that surrounds you, like the innocence that so delicately clings to you as you stand there and whether it falls depends on the decision you make. Both paths lead to the real world, a world that you were forever until now sheltered from, a world that you were blind to.

A world that would be nothing like you would ever imagine or picture.

The paths? Well one path was the safe path, the path that lead straight down hill where you could see the end, where you could see where it lead, where you could see the world you were about to thrust yourself into but this path would come at a cost, like the leaf that fell so delicately from the autumn tree to the ground as the bare and cold winter took over during your journey down this path would your innocence be stripped away and fall with that leaf and the child that came with that innocence would cry as he watched himself leave himself behind to find that every dream he ever had was shattered.

The child would cry as he watched himself go into the real world to find that it was nothing like he had pictured, it was an ugly and dangerous place or at least it could be, it wasn't the idealistic dream he thought that it was before he traveled down this path but then he knew that already because he chose the safe path which meant he was protected from the danger because he knew it was there.

Question is ... is safety really worth losing that innocence? Is safety really worth losing those beautiful beliefs and those idealized dreams? Of course they could be kept but they could never be believed as real anymore. Is it really worth the cost? What's the point in being safe if you always have to make sure you're safe? If instead of playing in the ocean, you have to make sure there isn't some psychopath out there waiting to drown you? Or if you have to go around your house, making sure every window is locked and you stop for a second and you begin to cry as you think about all of these things.

And then there is the path of innocence, a path in which you might not have any choice but to take, especially if you were sheltered and blinded, if you were forced away from the path of safety and all you could see were the twisty curves and hills the path of innocence went, blocking your sight of the real world, leaving you only of your beliefs of innocence and freedom that lay ahead. So you run for it because that is the only path you can take because you were never made aware that there was another path.

So you go into the world naive and while at first it isn't exactly how you pictured it, still you have fun with your childlike wonder and amazement just because you're finally free, just because the veil is finally lifted and just because you're still protected but you're not sheltered or blinded but this person that protects you underestimates your blindness to the world and your innocence gets ripped away from you by your own doing, by putting yourself in a situation that was a childish delusion within your mind. And after that ... you realize you were just forced onto the path of safety because from then on out you realize you have to grow up and protect yourself.

So by the end of this story, either way you lose your innocence but there is one question begged to be asked. Is it worth it to lose your innocence sooner to be safer or to keep your innocence longer only to have it ripped away from you by dangerous experience? How can someone really even answer a question like that when really I bet no one wants to lose their innocence at all.

It's sad truth I have to admit though that either way it has to happen and whether through teaching or experience, it's no one's fault, maybe the one who should of taught you never did because they never wanted you to lose it or the one that protected you thought that your teacher already taught you and in all honesty the bad guy is the one to blame for ripping it away and committing the dangerous crime.

The inner child has to die, it's just a matter of sooner or later.