Chapter 1 – Fond Farewells

I still couldn’t believe it.

“Chris,” I groaned again. “This isn’t fair! Why can’t you talk her out of it?! If she’d listen to anyone, it’d be you!”

“Theo, this isn’t my call to make. It’s hers. Now, two things can happen here. Either you can whine like the little girl you’re pretending to be, bitch and moan until you give birth to triplets, and it still wouldn’t help you with the fact that, yes, you guys are moving. Or…”

“Or?” I asked, knowing full well what he’d say. I didn’t have to like it.

“Or… you can just accept it. Maybe even be happy about it.” He paused. “Think of it not as losing friends or leaving the only place you’ve ever known and instead as a chance to maybe discover who you really are. An adventure. You like adventures, right?”

As much as I hated to admit it, my older brother was right. He knew what would entice me, but he didn’t have to know that he found the mark already. I whined a bit into the phone a bit more before I stopped. I just realized I was getting on my nerves now. I couldn’t help but sigh. “Chris… I hate when you’re right. You suck, you know that?”

“Nah, I know you love me little man,” he laughed. Just then, I heard some sounds in the background before he spoke again. “Hey dude I need to get off the line. Chad needs the phone. He’s gotta call his girl.” He lowered his voice. “I think he’s looking for some action tonight.”

I faintly heard in the background, “I heard that!” I couldn’t help but giggle at his antics. I could almost see the twinkle in his eye as he said it, just like many of the times he wanted me to do something. Only for me to get into trouble later for it.

A big pout took hold of me. “Chris… will you be able… to you know… visit when we get there? Soon?”

He sighed too. “I don’t wanna promise anything just yet, little dude – exams are coming up in a few weeks and I need to ace them to make sure to keep my scholarship.” Again he paused. “You know how it is… right?”

I felt a few small tears build up. I whisked them away fast. “I wish you weren’t gonna be so far away Chris. I… I-I’ll miss you.”

“Damn it Theo… don’t start. Please. Hell, I’m only across town from you right now. Every time you get sad it kills me. And it wrecks my focus. Please… I know this sucks and I’m not trying to be mean or anything, but… can you talk to Aaron? I know he’s not me, but he looks up to you… just like you look up to me.”

I sniffled. “I-I should go then… I d-don’t want you to fail your exams. I-I know how important y-your studies are. It just sucks… is all.”

I could feel the warmth from his smile through the phone. “Thanks kid. I’ll make sure to visit for your birthday in February. Nothing will keep me away, you hear?” If he was here, this would be where he’d tickle me until I’d beg him to stop and all my sadness would be gone.

“I’m gonna hold you to that Chris. Alright, tell Chad I’m sorry for hogging his line and that I said hi. If he can, try to bring him with you in February.”

“We’ll see but that depends on if his old lady got him pinned down around then.”

Again, I heard, “I heard that!” in the background. Along with, “Damn it, tell the squirt he’s cutting into my nookie time!”

“No need to tell me,” I laughed. “I’m going.” I bit my bottom lip, doing my best to hold my emotions in check. It’s hard to do when you’re thirteen, I’ve come to realize. “B-Bye Toph. Love you.”

“See ya Theo,” he said with me easily hearing the sadness in his voice too. “Love you bro.” Slowly, I hung up the phone. I sat back on the bare floor of my old room. God, it hurts thinking of it like that! I looked around and missed seeing all my posters up on the walls. I even laughed where I visualized the hole that Aaron’s fist drove through the drywall. My younger brother was so mad that day. Normally we get along okay, but that day we both must’ve had our hormonal panties in a bunch. Anything either of us said that day kept cutting the fuse shorter and shorter. Aaron was the first to blow, and instead of lashing out at me, screamed and took it out on the wall before he stormed out. I just stood there dazed and feeling slightly miffed about the hole. And maybe a little guilty.

My eyes swept over the carpet and the indentations caused by of all my furniture. My desk. My queen sized bed. My dresser. My TV stand. Picturing everything as it was before the movers packed it all up. They did my room yesterday. I had to sleep with Aaron in his bed last night and I hadn’t done that in a long time. Not since we were probably eight or nine. And I remembered why I wanted to get at least my own bed back then – he moved a lot in the night. Hogging the covers, even if he didn’t intend to. Some mornings, I woke with more bruises than I went to sleep with. For someone that’s only fifteen months younger than me, he’s pretty strong. Maybe even stronger than me. Not like I’d ever tell him that or anything.

A light knock rapped on my door. I looked up and saw a slightly forlorn look on his face. “You look like you’re as ready to go as I am.” Aaron came into the room and sat down next to me. “This sucks, doesn’t it?” I just nodded. “Did you have any luck with Chris?”

“No… stupid jerk said ‘An adventure. You like adventures… right?’ If he was here, I’d have punched him for that.”

“You would not,” Aaron said. “He’d have given you that look and you’d just give up. He knows how to push your buttons. Just like you know how to push his.” I felt Aaron’s head land on my shoulder. “I don’t wanna move, Theo. I’m gonna miss all my friends here. And… it’ll put more distance between us and Chris.”

“I-I know,” I said as I flicked my thumb across my eye. “At least Chad’s parents are letting him stay with them. Puts him closer to the college.”

“That’s good, I guess,” Aaron mumbled. I felt his one arm snake around me. I couldn’t help but toss an arm onto his shoulders, giving each other a soft of half-hug. I looked down and saw his eyes screwed tightly shut, trying to hold it in. “I-I’m really gonna m-miss Dad. And Molly. Th-They’re not c-coming, right?”

I shook my head to the sides. I knew he felt it – I felt his blond hair move along my cheek. “No… when h-he found out about th-the move…” I stopped, unable to go on. The abrupt loss of contact with our father and step-mother still hurt. That was last month. Mom called him to inform him of our move since she had full custody of us and… that’s the last any of us heard from him. He didn’t even want to talk to Chris, his supposed favorite. Chris just bore it and took most of his stuff over to Chad’s then over the course of this past month. Slowly his room just… emptied. Like a fading dream.

I managed to bury my feelings for a few seconds before I patted Aaron on the shoulder. “Alright Aaron… we need to go make our final rounds. Remember – we need to be back no later than four.” I stood up a bit too fast – Aaron didn’t have time to adjust his balance and almost tipped over. “Sorry.”

“I know,” he grumbled. I held out a hand and pulled him to his feet. I replaced my arm over his shoulder. Before we left my old room, he stopped me. “Um… c-can you come with me to Ian’s? Please, just for a bit? I w-wanna start with him.”

I thought for a second. Aaron would probably tag along as I made my rounds – we actually had most of the same friends surprisingly. He tended to hang out a lot with me when my friends came over and I never could send him away. Probably just like Chris couldn’t send me away when he had company. The only friend that wasn’t shared between us was Ian McKennan. His absolute best friend. I can’t count how many times those two were seen together. Since he only lived next door, that boy almost spent more time here than at his own house. “Yeah, of course,” I said, knowing this last visit would practically kill Aaron.

We jogged down the stairs and slipped our shoes on at the front door. But we detoured towards the kitchen where we knew Mom was stationed. “Mom? We’re gonna… g-go make our last r-rounds in the n-neighborhood.” I watched as my brother’s eyes glistened a bit. No doubt already feeling his heart break. I could almost hear it, even.

She wistfully looked around a bit before her eyes settled on first me, then Aaron. “Alright. Remember, four o’clock. We need to be at the airport by five since our plane departs at six. You have your phones?” We nodded solemnly, not in the mood to give some sarcastic teenage lip back to her.

Once outside, the dry heat of an early California morning enveloped us. Our last morning here. “I don’t see why we’re moving out of state all because of some stupid piece of land,” Aaron muttered. “I mean, so what if…” His voice faltered as a brown-haired boy, slightly shorter than us emerged from the other side of the fence through the gate the properties shared. I turned to Aaron and I saw tears streaking his face. “I-I-Ian…”

Ian said nothing as he ran towards us at full speed, nearly knocking us to the ground in a fierce hug. “You can’t go Aaron! You just can’t! It’s not fair!” My brother couldn’t say anything as he gripped his best friend’s head, pressing his cheek hard into the bed of slightly unkempt hair. My brother sobbed hard, unashamed of his feelings. “I-I can’t lose my best friend!”

“Theo.”

Shit! I wasn’t ready to hear that voice. The older brother to Ian. He always slept in on weekends, vacations, or during the summer until at least noon – I was counting on that so much. Just like Aaron and Ian, Shane and I couldn’t be pried apart with a crowbar. I held my breath a bit as I extricated myself from Ian and Aaron as he almost stumbled into our yard, still in his sleepwear. Or lack thereof. Just standing there in his sleep shorts and trying to rub the sleep from his eyes, he turned to me and stared into my eyes. “Sh-Shane…” I swallowed. “Y-You’re up e-early.”

“Had trouble sleeping,” he said still a bit sleepily. “Ian woke me up when he tore out of the house like it was on fire.” I weakly laughed at the slight poke at his brother. Normally that sort of comment would’ve set me off in a fit only to have him join in as he laughed at my amusement. Our friendship was so open, so awesome… I wanted to save this moment until last. I especially didn’t want me to be on his bad side – the boy’s almost always super cranky if awoken earlier than he wants to be awake. Maybe it was best, though, that he woke up early. That meant more time with him. “Hey, come inside for a bit. Please?” I held up my hand for a second.

“Aaron, you okay bud?” I asked as I saw the two had calmed down, but the cloud hovered over both threateningly. He woefully looked up at me before turning slowing gazing back at Ian. Reluctantly he nodded. “Okay… if you… you need me, I’ll be in Shane’s room.”

“…’Kay,” he sighed with heavy emotion. I stepped around them as I walked with my friend through the gate and into the McKennan’s house, probably for the last time. I started to choke up at the thought. Like on a funeral march, I trudged heavily up the stairs after Shane. Once in his room, I sat down on his bed, not averting my eyes as his shorts and boxers fell to the ground.

“Perv,” he lightly giggled when he caught me watching him.

“One last look for road,” I sighed deeply. I didn’t want to cry just yet. I bit my lip, trying to keep the tension out of the room but feeling it seep in like an evil fog. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly as he pulled on a shirt after his clean boxers and shorts. “Wh-Who will I-I be able to t-talk to about th-this?!”

“Theo,” Shane said as he sat next to me on his bed. “You’ll find a new best friend out there. I just know you will. Maybe even one that’ll be cool with you being gay.” He tried to waggle his eyebrows but it seemed his heart wasn’t in it. “Maybe… you’ll find the one your heart wants. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be it for you.”

“Damn straight people,” I muttered.

I hadn’t even told anyone in my family yet. Only Shane knew this about me, even though I didn’t even tell him I was. Only when a few months ago I stayed over here while Ian crashed in my room did it all go down.

I just started to get ready for bed and, as I sat down on Ian’s bed, Shane came in and just stared at me for a few moments. He had a hard, determined look on his face, but it was also compassionate somehow. “So,” he started. “Are you gonna tell me what’s up or do I have to tell you for you?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, wary of what he meant by that. “Nothing’s up. Nothing’s ever been up.”

“I think you know what I mean. I’m just… disappointed that you haven’t told me yet. Even a little hurt. Am I… am I that bad or something? That you can’t trust me anymore?” He bit his lower lip and his cuteness factor shot through the roof.

I still remember the heartache I felt at those words. “Wh-What do you mean? Of course I trust you! You’re my brother-in-spirit!” A term we came up with back when we were seven.

“Then…” I watched as his face twisted, almost into pain. “Why can’t you tell me?”

I was still unsure what he meant, but I started to get an idea. And it terrified me. I feared it’d be the end of our friendship. Forever. Still, I remained stubborn – I could get that way from time to time. “T-Tell you what?!”

He sighed deeply. A single tear ran down his face. “Why can’t you trust me enough to let me know that you’re gay?!” I gasped. I would’ve been even more scared if I didn’t already know we were actually home alone – his parents had gone out for the evening. Hearing him say that paralyzed me. I thought I was doing a damn good job of keeping my intentions well hidden. “H-Have I ever, even subconsciously, given you the impression that I’d…” He stopped. “I can barely say this… th-that you think I-I’d…” He looked like he wanted to throw up. “That I-I could ever… hate you for that?! I can’t! It’s just not possible for me to hate you! Not for anything, Theo!” He came over and crouched before me, taking my hands into his. “Please, tell me what I did or didn’t do to make you stop trusting me! Whatever it was, I’m sorry! I…I-I’m so sorry…”

“Sh-Shane…” I said, squeezing his hands and getting his attention. “You didn’t do anything! I swear it! Please, stop apologizing! It’s j-just…” Now it was my turn to struggle with words. “I-It’s not easy, you know!” I slid down to the floor next to Shane. I couldn’t look at him. Not for what I was about to say. “It’s not easy tr-trying not to… love you… You’re funny. Smart. Um… cute…” I started blushing. It faded as my tears came back. “I-I c-couldn’t risk our friendship o-over that! It means too much to me! I can’t lose you, even if it kills me to be near you some days!”

I had noticed a change in his posture. “Y… You think I’m cute?” A small blush formed on his face. “Really?”

Mine came back with a vengeance. “M-Maybe… a little…”

His face turned serious again. “Theodore…” I hated when he called me that. But he only did it when he had to share bad news I didn’t want to hear. “I…I-I can’t be like that for you. Part of me is dying because I know you can’t have what you want. But… bro, I’m straight.”

“Theo?” Shane said, poking me on the shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” I said as the memory faded into the recesses of my mind, leaving me with the faint wisp of us talking that whole night to one another. Me revealing my fear of never finding the right guy for me, never falling in love. Me loving Shane all the more as he pulled up a few teen sites and wanted me to tell him which celebrity I thought was cute as he did the same. That night was one of my better memories with Shane. A night I’ll never forget. “Just thinking about things.” I punched his arm. “That’s for making fun of me for having a thing for Cody Simpson.”

“What?” he laughed. “I just don’t see the appeal. I mean, if I was gay too. I’d surely have thought you’d be a Lerman fan.” Shane’s eyes twinkled a bit. “I mean, I saw that one scene in ‘Meet Bill’ where he’s in the dressing room with Jessica Alba’s character, doing that strip tease dance thing. I figured you’d be all hot and bothered by that.”

I would’ve replied but Aaron came into the room and sat on my other side, looking all mopey. “A-Rod, what’s wrong? Where’s Ian?”

“He’s talking to Mom. He’s begging her not to move and take us away. He won’t stop crying. It’s killing me!” He looked blearily at Shane. “You don’t seem so upset about Theo leaving.”

The twinkle left his eye and turned away from both of us. “You have no idea how much this is killing me too, Aaron. I feel like one of my own family members is dying and it’ll happen the moment your Mom’s car pulls away from that house.” His voice sounded different the more he spoke, getting heavier and heavier. I hesitantly placed a hand on Shane’s back.

That’s all it took for him to spin around and bury his face into my chest.

He cried so heavily and so suddenly I thought he would collapse a lung or rupture something. Aaron jumped back a bit in shock as he saw how really upset Shane was. “I-I tried t-to b-be strong f-for you! I-I didn’t want you t-to see me l-like this!” He took a few deep breaths, trying to regain some control, but it didn’t work. “I-I so w-wanted just o-one last, n-n-normal day w-with my br-brother-in-spirit! But I-I f-fucked that up!” The room fell into a wordless silence – Shane’s outburst of emotion still surrounded around us.

“A-Aaron…” I said, doing my best to not break down. “C-Can you give us a m-minute?”

“Sure,” he said as he stood up. “I… I’ll go see if Ian is back from our place.” My brother left the room, pulling the door closed. I guess he couldn’t take the sounds of Shane’s crying following him out the door. But I just held my best friend until he settled down enough to regain a bit of composure.

“D-Damn…” he said. His finger poked my chest where his face was. “I-I messed your sh-shirt up. W-With snot and e-everything…”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. I took in a breath. “Um… can I ask a really big favor from you Shane?”

He sat up more and looked me in my eyes. “What? If I can… I’ll do whatever. Anything.”

“Uh… I was… wondering…” I started to blush again. I sighed and took in a breath. I just had to say it before I chickened out. “CanIkissyou?”

“What? Say that slower… All the words got barfed up instead of spoken.”

I closed my eyes tight. “Can I kiss you?” I feared I was asking too much of him. I wanted to take a small piece of him with me… to make sure I will never forget him. The silence started to get to me, so I chanced a peek at him.

He actually looked totally at a loss in how to proceed. It’s not often I got to see that look. With him being older, he usually set the pace for whatever game we played or prank we pulled. One of the things he prided himself on was his own self-assurance. Right now, it wasn’t in the picture. His eyes met mine and he snapped back. He opened his mouth to speak but then closed it again. “Okay,” he finally said after some extra thought. I watched him sigh as he cursed under his breath. “Just so you know, I wouldn’t do this for anyone. Only because you are just so damn loveable.”

“Um… thanks?” I said. “Seriously, if it’s too much to ask or makes you uncomfortable or–”

“Theo… damn it! Don’t make this any harder than it has to be, please.” He grabbed my face and held it, forcing me to stare deep into his eyes. “You’re leaving in less than six hours from now. I think I might want this just as much as you do… just for different reasons than yours.” He flicked his eyes away from mine for a moment before his penetrating stare found me once again. “I-I love you dude. Not in the gay way, but… I love you. You’ve always… always been there for me. Now, I can say I was there for you at least once.”

“Shane…” He shook his head, knowing I was about to tell him that he’s been there for me more than just now. He didn’t want to hear it. I sighed. “A-Are you sure?”

“Yeah… I’m sure.” He pulled my face towards his as he lowered his towards mine. Slowly, our lips meshed as one and… it was a million times better than I imagined it to be. His texture soothed my aching spirit, this unquenched longing I’ve always had for Shane McKennan. One I buried deep, deep under our great and wonderful friendship. I felt the fiery passion bubble to the forefront of my mind, pushing all other thoughts aside. I started to hungrily kiss him back, almost moaning with want. Slowly, with the very last ounce of self-control I had remaining, I pulled myself from him. I had my eyes still closed as I savored and memorized that feeling, capturing and bottling its essence away. I actually heard Shane struggling for a little bit of air. “Um… I all I got is ‘wow’.” He lightly pushed my shoulder. “H-Have you ever kissed another boy?”

I finally opened my eyes and saw Shane looking a bit mystified. A little confused. “No… you… that was my first kiss.” I watched as his eyes bulged.

“You’re a… natural,” he said as his breathing stabilized. “Not as good as Any Rosethorn but way, way better than Stacy Hammond. Seriously, one of my top five.” He paused. “I don’t know if that should worry me or not.”

“Ass,” I said as I returned his push finally. “But Shane… really, that meant so much to me. You can’t possibly know. Thank you.” I couldn’t help it as I grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it. He pulled it away from me and giggled.

“Stop that, queerbait. Geez, one kiss and you think you can take advantage of me.” I still remembered when he started calling me that when I was acting excessively gay. At first it hurt, but now it’s his way of telling me to back off.

My cell phone rang, startling the two of us a bit. I looked and saw it was Mom. “H-Hey Mom.”

“Theo…” The tone she used to say my name… I didn’t like it. At all. “You need to come home. Now. I-I’m sorry, but… we need to leave for the airport in ten minutes. Our flight was changed and bumped up due to incoming weather in Pennsylvania. I can’t be late arriving at the attorney’s office out there, otherwise… we’re screwed. I just can’t take that chance. I’m sorry honey.”

“Okay,” I said flatly. “I’ll be there so we can go see this God-forsaken piece of dirt.” I closed my phone, not giving her a chance to either yell or try and make me feel better. I wanted to throw my cell phone into the wall. I just lost like five hours of time with Shane! As soon as I saw him outside, shirtless and acting all cute, I decided then to just forgo my final goodbyes to my other friends. Sure, I’d miss them and would be a bit upset not spending a few last minutes with them. But Shane was different. He was… special. Very special.

“You’re leaving. Now.” He said it as a statement, not a question. He knew what was going on. Slowly, I turned to him. I saw him hiccupping a bit as he refused to bawl again, not until I left forever. I struggled with the same thing. We both stood and before I knew it, he applied a death grip to me. I returned the favor. “Y-You b-better stay i-in touch or I-I’ll c-come out th-there and kick y-your ass. I-I’ll st-stow away in o-one of Ch-Chris’s suitcases if I-I have to.”

“I-I kn-know you w-would,” I said. We parted until I held him at arm’s length. I stared at him, trying my best to ingrain his face into my mind – a picture could never convey the intricacies of Shane’s moods. Not a single one. Once again, I couldn’t help it as I leaned forward and kissed his cheek – I figured another on the lips would be pushing things too much for the both of us. “Sh-Shane McKennan… thanks, f-for e-everything.”

Shane wanted to say something, but his mouth refused to work. I just nodded one last time at him before I slipped away from him. I stuttered a step backwards before I opened his door and ran down his hall a bit. If I didn’t I’d never leave. I peeked briefly in Ian’s room, coming to a stop for just a moment. I stared longingly back at Shane’s bedroom door. Ian looked up, his young face streaked with many tears. I didn’t get a chance to say anything before the little one jumped from his bed and squeezed me just like his older brother, almost tackling me into the wall opposite his door. The hug didn’t last that long, but I turned to see Shane standing at his door, his body shaking with sobs. But he didn’t say anything. “B-B-Bye… Th-Theo…” Ian said.

I crouched down a bit. “G-Goodbye Ian. I-I’ll make sure Aaron c-calls or writes you. H-He can be a b-bit forgetful at times.” Slowly, Ian nodded. “He went home, didn’t he?” Again, Ian nodded and fresh tears started in his eyes. Gently, I pushed him towards Shane. “Go see your b-big brother… you both n-need each other right now. Okay?” Ian didn’t say a word as he ran towards Shane. I ran down the stairs, unable to even see him cry anymore. My heart couldn’t bear to see him in pain. And I didn’t want to wrench his heart any more than I already have.

I stepped outside into the late morning haze, the temperature easily already in the mid-seventies. As soon as I closed the McKennan’s back door, my mood instantly soured. Bitterness leeched into my system. I knew I really shouldn’t be so bitter towards Mom, as along with this stupid land thing was the fact that she received a promotion and relocation option. The relocation actually ended up being within twenty miles of the house Mom got in whatever will she kept talking about. So logically it made sense to pack up and move. Emotionally though… totally different story.

I stormed into the house and sat at the breakfast bar sitting down next to an equally moody little brother. I glanced at him as he glanced at me. Mom wasn’t in the room. I saw a peculiar glint in Aaron’s eye.

“So… how’s Shane doing?”

“I think he’s dying over there. Just like Ian.”

“Damn it… don’t remind me, please.” He sighed. “Sorry, just that… I’m sorry.”

“It’s cool,” I shrugged. I watched as that glint came back – it had faded when I mentioned Ian.

“So… how was it?”

I raised an eyebrow. “How… was what?”

The glint grew stronger, to the point where a small, playful smile formed on Aaron’s face. It faded just as Mom walked into the kitchen. I eyed him for a bit longer before I turned a cold stare towards the woman. Right now, she was enemy number one. She saw me staring and threw up her hands.

“Don’t give me that look, Theodore. I know… this isn’t easy for either of you. It’s not easy for me either! I like it here, if you didn’t know! But… now that Chris is in college and now your father…” She stopped herself. “We need the money. I can’t afford to hold onto this place. And I want only the best for my boys. Even if it means moving halfway across the country to do it and tearing them away from everything they ever loved.” She walked over to us and placed a hand on each of our shoulders. “I know you boys are really close to the McKennan boys – lord knows they were like my own some summers – but we need this fresh start.” She turned to her cell phone sitting on the counter. Checking the time, she put the device in her purse. “We need to go.” Mom grabbed a few small bags and headed for the front door.

“D-Do you know if Chris is dropping us off?” Aaron asked me.

“Haven’t a clue. He’s probably knee-deep in his textbooks.” I sighed. “C’mon… let’s go.” Aaron nodded as we headed towards the front door. We stepped back outside and walked down that stone path for the final time. At the end, both of us turned around and stared hard at the building. Fond memories in that place. Memories I wasn’t quite ready to let go of tangibly, like if I’d leave this place all the memories would stay with the structure. My eyes fell to the “For Sale” sign in the lawn, already covered over with a “Sold!” placard. I stared at it for a few seconds in disdain, thinking about the new family that would forever alter the spirit of this home – and mold it into their own. Aaron put his arm around my shoulder and squeezed for just a moment. We both turned and got a bit of a surprise.

“Damn you two look bigger since the last time I saw you both. And that was only a couple of weeks ago!”

“Chris!” Aaron shouted as his arm left me and wrapped them around our six foot tall brother. He flicked his own head of blond hair back a bit to pull his bangs from his eyes. His muscular frame seemed larger than last I remembered. As soon as Aaron stepped to the side, Chris approached me.

“How’re you doing, kiddo?” he asked. He placed his hand on my head and rubbed it affectionately. “You look sad.”

“I am,” I said as I turned a bit and just barely saw the window to Shane’s room from the corner of my eye. Chris pulled my attention back to him as his hand left my head and wrapped around my shoulder, guiding me to the car.

“It’ll be okay, bro,” he said as we all climbed into the car. “Something tells me this will work out for all of you guys.” Nothing else was said as he started up the car. Mom sat in the passenger seat as both Aaron and I huddled up against my window. As we slowly pulled away from our old life… the only life I’ve ever known, I saw both Ian and Shane standing in his room window. I saw no more tears on either face, just resolute, wan smiles. Shane stared into my eyes as he saluted me before he disappeared into his sanctuary. Ian waved a bit before he too faded behind the curtain.

The drive to the airport was quiet, almost too much so. It allowed one to think and right now, I didn’t want that. I’d end up thinking about all the times I had with Shane. The pranks that we pulled on Chris just before he left for college when we about eight. Oh, how I’ll never forget the look on my oldest brother’s face when he stormed out of the shower, screaming at both me and Shane. When he tried to use his face wash, he found out that Shane put some hot sauce on the tip. It was hard not to see the sheer delight Shane expressed when, after Chris calmed down, the eighteen year old played a game of Monopoly with us like it never happened.

We walked in through the main doors and I eyed Mom a bit. She seemed a bit more sullen that I anticipated. I thought she was all for the move, especially since it was her idea. Definitely not mine or Aaron’s. “This sucks,” I pouted. Mom stepped over to the ticket counter and went about securing our tickets. At least she went ahead and got first-class tickets. She checked it out and saw the one-way first class ones were just as much as round-trip coaches – I know because I had to help her navigate the website for the original plane tickets.

“I know dude,” Chris said wistfully. “Change sucks. Sometimes it’s not as good as you think it would be, but then again, change usually is for the better. I mean, me heading off to college was hard… for all of us, right?” He stood next to Aaron again and wrapped his other arm around him. Both Aaron and I nodded a bit slowly. “But look at me now… I’m about a semester away from finishing my degree in business. Maybe I’ll start that restaurant I want out there instead of here.”

“Would you really?” Aaron asked as his eyes brightened. Chris shrugged a bit.

“I can’t promise anything but I’ll see what I can do once I have that degree. How’s that sound?”

“Sounds good,” I said. “I think we’d like that a lot if you at least tried.” Chris ruffled my hair again, making me laugh a bit.

“What’s this? Ah, an actual smile on my middle bro’s face,” he said with his own smile. He turned to Aaron and did what he did to me, getting the same results. “And a matching one on the baby bro.” He sighed. “Man, I miss those smiles. It’ll probably be the last time I’ll see them for a while. Gotta make them last.”

“Okay, we really need to get to our gate boys.” Mom came back to us three. She made sure Chris had the keys to the car. “Alright Chris… the car’s yours now. I’ll have to get a new one when we get out there.” She wrapped her arms around him. “You make sure you visit the first chance you get, you hear?”

“Of course, Mom.” She let him go. He turned to Aaron and picked him up in a big bear hug. “You be good for Mom, alright?” Aaron nodded as Chris kissed his cheek and sat him down. “Same goes for you too, bud.” He did the same thing to me, lifting me clear off the ground and almost popping the stuffing out of me with how hard he hugged me. I just nodded as well. He also kissed my cheek. Before he left, he put his hand on my head again. His eyes flicked towards Aaron. “You make sure to keep an eye out for him. Or I’ll have your ass.”

“Bye, Toph,” I said as I felt his fingers slide off my scalp. I watched him slip out the front doors.

“Here we go, boys,” Mom said as her hands found us and gently landed in the middle of our backs, guiding us towards the security line. “Our new lives await us.”