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Melancholic words to dampen your spirit

Entries in this blog

You want what?!

When I moved in with my son, I broached the subject of getting a dog or atleast a big cat. Each and everytime I brought up the subject, N was adamant we weren't having a pet in his house. Well, last week he said "we need a dog."   I've been hallucinating so much for the past couple weeks, I couldn't be certain if he said that or not. Afterall I'm the resident cracker box around here; and, having a dog just might get me moving, "Have you walked the dog?"   Not only does he want a dog, he want
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

1

Yipee!

I'm spending the night in Southeastern Minnesota, which is a lot like Iowa without all those Iowans. Tomorrow its on to Wisconsin for a delivery and a pick up and then on to Upstate New York for delivery on Saturday morning. I hate going to New York because New England is so close. I've heard horror stories about taking a big truck into New England and one of them was from a trucker who lives there.   If any of you have read my LiveJournal blog, you know the depression I suffer with is cyclica
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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Yes, I am happy

Something weird is happening.   The wife got her hearing aids on Monday and her left ear can literally hear a pin drop, which is driving her batty because there are a whole lot more sounds out there louder than a pin clattering onto carpet. She'll be calling Miracle Ear this morning.   Last night I got the screwy idea of renting a motor home and heading down to Arkansas to visit the wife's family. I asked what she thought of the idea of asking our son to go along and maybe allowing us to tow
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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Wyoming has sheep

I drove across Wyoming today; well, actually I drove the first 158 miles early, like just after midnight until 4 AM when I ran out of hours and needed to stop to reset my logbook. First of all, I
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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Wow! Talk about blow-jobs!

Had a wonderful time in Wyoming last night and this morning; got me a couple of fantastic Wyoming blow-jobs.   Let me tell you right now, if you want a blow-job to remember for a long, long time, well head right on over to Wyoming.   Now, Wyoming isn
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

2

Working Title: Contract Lovers

Seems I’m on a creative wave and I don’t want to get off. Wrote the outline—which is something of an exception to my normal writing technique—today, including naming the protagonist (Jacobus or Jac), childhood friends (best friend until death is Laconus or Lac), primary friends, secondary friends, lovers, and lovers under contract. The span of the story will be from age 5 to death at 106.   To the best of my chemically fuzzy memory, this will be the first time I’ve tried to write something in
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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Wonky

You have to understand being Bipolar is basically an extreme state of mind. A month or so ago I was taking 1,500 mg of Depakote as a mood stabilizer, plus 400 mg of Seroquel, also reported to be a mood stabilizer. My shrink decided that, maybe, I could reduce my intake of Depakote until I was taking Zero mg’s and relying on the 400 mg of Seroquel to stabilize my mind. Unfortunately, when I hit Zero my mind went wonky and I was hallucinating to the extreme.   So, I backed off and got he
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

2

Wine of Wyoming

I’ve been reading a collection of Ernest Hemingway’s first forty-nine short stories and I finally came to “Wine of Wyoming.” I suppose it’s a nice short story, except for the French dialogue of which there is quite too much. Two of the characters in the story are from France and, of course, speak French quite a bit, even though much of it is broken. But, enough of it is illegible to someone who does not, nor never has, spoken the language of France, Quebec, French Guiana, and other foreign outpo
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

2

Wilson, WI

The Canadians lit up the Northern Lights (for you Spelling Bee enthusiasts and college graduates, the Aurora Borealis) last night. I know because I was driving across North Dakota at the time of the big show, around midnight. Actually I haven
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

0

Whew!

I just finished Chapter 18 of The Pastel Cowboy and I reached the point in time where I'm supposed to be. So many things are afoot right now, but I can't tell you anything, so I won't.   I've been following through on Lugh's suggestion and putting more of my stuff up on eFiction. I want to put up my Kiel's Story/Tim and the Corsair series, but I want to seriously edit it before doing so. It is a bit much with all the violence, suicides, and constant talk about rape. I requested the assistance
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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What's your limit?

http://www.kpho.com/news/18154062/detail.html   Ever think about limits, especialy your own?   Ever consider life so bad you have to set a limit to the grief or punishment you endure?   It seems the 8-year-old boy in Arizona who is charged with murdering his father and the man renting a room in their house had a limit.   1,000 spankings.   1,000.   One Thousand.   Think of an eight-year-old boy keeping a list of the spankings he received, probably for the meerest of reasons.   Th
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

1

What the hell?

When I went to the shrink last Wednesday I told him about being super irritable to the point where people were noticing. Hell, I was noticed the change first. Not only was I irritable, I was downright dangerous. The possibility of road rage incidents was coming back with a vengence. Anger management was out the window.   We discussed the situation and he said the irritability was probably due to the Zoloft working too well and throwing me over to the manic side of my mood stabilizer which has
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

0

What do you wear?

What do you do for endless hours with nothing to do except keep the big truck between the lines and away from four-wheelers made of plastic and sheet metal?   Listen to music? Yeah, sometimes and sometimes the road is so washboarded that the CD player doesn
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

0

West Valley City, UT

Another day, another buck-fifty in the kitty.   Today, was okay. Busted my ass helping to unload my trailer. It's part of the deal. The customer is a major account and the drivers must help unload. This means picking up boxes that fall off of pallets that are stacked to the ceiling, picking up boxes that are stuffed between pallets, and generally helping the forklift operator with the unload. We don't get paid to help, by the way, which is only logical in the greater scheme of things.   And,
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

1

West of Fargo, ND

I'm not quite certain how far west because it was late last night and I was too tired to venture into that wonderful city. I have to venture in this morning because I need a blood test. I've picked out a clinic and hopefully they'll be willing to help a trucker in need. What I really hope is there'll be parking for the big rig somewhere close to the clinic. I don't have a lot of time to drive all over Fargo looking for a place to park the big rig so I can get some blood drawn.   Last night as
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

1

Weed to Home

I'm home sitting on the bed in pajamas with my laptop on my lap and cute, little Bonita beside me sleeping, playing, cleaning, or simply ignoring me. Pets are like that. They'll give you all their love, but it's on their terms. Dogs are better than cats, though. At least they don't give you a hair ball every few days. There's nothing like the sound of a retching cat.   Yesterday morning, I was waking up in Weed, CA. I like Weed. It's small town America in the mountains. Last Saturday when I dr
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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Weatherby, OR

Weatherby isn't much more than a Rest Area on I-84 and a siding on the UP mainline to Portland/Seattle (a mixed freight is chugging up the hill right now).   So, why am I writing this entry?   I'm supposed to leave in 15 minutes. (It's now 15 minutes ago; been writing for a bit.)   I'm goin to be home tonight. Yipee!   Bonita will pee with excitement.   The wife will get a hug and a peck on the lips. She might complain about my lack of romantic involvement. I love her, but not THAT way
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

1

Wasted, again

Nothing like a good dose of alcohol to deaden the gloomies, but that isn't a solution, been there, done that.   I finished orientation a day early. I was the only person in orientation and, since I'm going to be working out of the Puyallup Yard, I didn't need to know a lot of the stuff.   So, I'm home and I'm wasted, again. Too much Tequila, again.   Bonita missed me.   I'm not certain the wife did too. You can never tell about her. She has so many memories of her childhood, I can't tell
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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Wasted Inedible Toad Car

One of the bad things about driving around, through, and across this great big country of ours is there are places, very nice places, where cell service stinks. No bars! Or, even worse, ROAMING! Digital or analog, it doesn
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

1

Warning! Depressing Thoughts

I've been slowly sliding downhill. There's a lot of stress in my life right now, my mind responds by getting depressed. It didn't work this way before, but it does now. Such is life.   The creative juices aren't flowing as freely, which is to be expected. I'm on a downhill slide. Such is life.   Tonight, I go to Portland for orientation tomorrow. The wife gives me a sad look. I'm going away from her. She'll be alone. She's very much like a little kid. All of her stories, remembrances of happ
CarlHoliday

CarlHoliday

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