1996
I have seen the fire
Destroying everything in it path
In its blazing wrath
I have seen the fire
Bringing terror as its might
As it consumes the night
I have seen the fire
Slaying friends and lovers
Strangers and brothers
I have seen the fire.
Out of control consumning souls
Hell on earth a mass funeral pyre
I have been burned by the fire
With scars that don't show
The loss it still burns and stings
Friends and lovers I can not replace
I am haunted by the
Buy a truck, get an AK-47! Make veterans feel right at home by packing the preferred weapon of our enemies.
Seriously, why not throw in a fifth of whiskey? Wouldn't that solve a lot of problems?
< awesome!
< pull grandpaw's finger
Don't do it!
Awe man. See what you get for being stoned? That joke is older than Moses.
< What?
Moses?
No. Charlton Heston. Why do you hate guns and freedom?
Oh shut the f**k up.
Some things are just plain poison. It doesn't matter how smart or skilled you are, or think you are, they still end up destroying everything around you.
That's how coke is. It starts out as a little weekend hobby. You yutz it up with some folks, maybe get laid. It's fun. It makes you feel like you are ten feet tall and bullet proof.
If you are a pussy, coke makes you a tiger. If you are a wimp, coke makes you a playa. If you got no confidence, coke makes you feel like the center of any
Remember: You saw it here first.
Breaking news on the overall strategies of both parties!
Democratic Strategy: Steer government money toward our donors and get re-elected.
Republican Strategy: Steer government money toward our donors and get re-elected.
That is why they both fail.
10. The dog ate all of our good legislation.
9. People are to stupid to understand that it was all for their own good.
8. It's the end of the world anyway...let the republicans run it.
7. Bad weather always effects democratic turnout.
6. The President's party always loses seats in the mid-terms.
INTERNUT
1. noun: World Wide Network of loons, religious nuts, wackos, crazies, degenerates, deviants, sex addicts, paranoid shut-ins, retired pole-dancers, tea party activists, dope smokers, hash-heads, meth-freaks, dim-wits, democrats, lawyers, convicts, war criminals and sex offenders.
2. noun: A denizen of that community.
3. noun: An orgasm achieved while watching Internet porn.
1. President Obama said something vague and misleading and the INTERNUT is really jumping tonight.
I met him at the height of my addiction to coke.
I was the preppy boy dealer to the frats. He was a gymnast from New Orleans. The night I met him, he was the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen.
I was at the Sig Ep house making deliveries and all that. The guy I dealt with there was this Hitler-youth looking kid named Stein who was a death camp guard in another life. He was the sort of asshole that gets off on the misery of others. The bunch there were hungry and he wanted to be the man. S
When you were here before Couldn't look you in the eye You're just like an angel Your skin makes me cry You float like a feather In a beautiful world I wish I was special You're so f**kin' special But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the hell am I doin' here? I don't belong here I don't care if it hurts I wanna have control I want a perfect body I want a perfect soul I want you to notice When I'm not around You're so f**kin' special I wish I was special But I'm a creep I'm a weirdo What the he
Q: What's blue and yellow and eats nuts?
A: Gonorrhea.
A priest is out for an afternoon stroll and turns the corner to find little Johnny with a hammer smashing the daylights out of a bunch of ants.
The kid is saying to himself, "I hate these f**king ants... I hate these f**king ants..."
The priest is taken aback by the little boy's language and talks to him, saying that God doesn't make junk.
"Tomorrow I will be coming by again, and if you can tell me three things that God created th
Dreams of Tomorrow
The Red Planet Bar & Grill was like a thousand others. It was a seedy little establishment at the edge of Flynt-towns spaceport and, much like the town, it had seen better days. When Mars was booming, the place would easily seat a few thousand people a night. Now a good night was barely a hundred. It was just the sort of dark, quiet place that Daniel Sokolsky was looking for to do business. He picked a nice dark booth in the back, ordered a steak and waited for his con
The Dreams of Tomorrow
The Red Planet Bar & Grill was like a thousand others. It was a seedy little establishment at the edge of Flynt-towns spaceport and, much like the town, it had seen better days. When Mars was booming, the place would easily seat a few thousand people a night. Now it saw barely a hundred on a good night. It was just the sort of dark, quiet place that Daniel Sokolsky was looking for to do business. He picked a nice dark booth in the back, ordered a steak and waited f
Stardust
I. Genesis
The comet 1733/Latimer was born in an ancient supernova remnant among the rack and ruin of a star and its shattered planets. For eons the magnetic and gravitational force of the pulsar left behind acted on the gas and dust like a blender keeping it hot and ionized and blowing it farther out into the emptiness between stars.
Over millions of years the gas and dust of the titanic explosion began to cool, the nebulae cloud began to contract and the comet began to
There's a 12 step group I'd like to see.
Mass murderers Anonymous. MMA. Free coffee and group therapy.
NO. I'm not one of those pathetic souls on a mission from God to wipe out hookers.
One at a time is for rank amateurs and under-achievers. I'm talking fifty, one hundred, a thousand or a million at a time.
Why do I feel like a murderer?
When I first got out of college I went to work for a defense contractor. Won't say who but if you did the math you could probably figure it
This is the Emergency Broadcast Service. Please stand by for an official statement.
A National Emergency has been declared by the President of the United States.
Moments ago twelve nuclear detonations have been detected in Europe and the United States.
London, Madrid, Berlin, Paris, Rome, Copenhagen, Vienna, Brussels, Oslo and Warsaw have been confirmed by National Strategic Reconnaissance assets to have been hit by 500 kilo-ton nuclear devices.
In the United States Los Angeles a
Last night I finished up a 4 day road trip to Meridian to install new PCs for a company that has their home office there. It was an unbelievable crappy situation. I was told by management to only migrate company approved applications and some people had loads of programs that I wasn't supposed to migrate. The fatass top Data Processing guy there couldn't bother to give me a list of printers, IP addresses and the required drivers.
Last night at the Jamison Inn, a hotel that caters to working
The Republican party was formed in the 1850s primarily in response to the Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854 that opened possibility of expanding slavery to new territories. The original founders of the Republican Party were anti-slavery Whigs and Free Soil Democrats based on "Free Soil, Free Labor, Free Men" ideology and a radical vision of modernization based on higher education, railroads, banking, industry and cities.
Republicans argued that free market labor was infinitely superior to slavery.
Here's a start:
Follow it up with this:
And they are pretty much writing the note.
Oops... Mustn't forget the Obligatory Butthurt Incident Report
Some things are just meant to turn out badly.
Like playing with an old man's Wii
Some things are inevitable. Like Rule 34
Or the way that I wished that the Twilight series would end.
...and math nerds never get laid.
PEACE... through superior firepower!
You've been warned. If you are a politically correct sack of shit, read on at your own risk. You'll be offended and I'll be... heartbroken.
Some of you have been asking about my baby pictures. Here I yam in all of my white trash redneck glory.
So where are we? After getting told that I was a liar, a zionist and an ignorant redneck who should shut the f**k up because I was stupid, I'm pretty pissed.
I'm a black sheep in this politically correct nut house and I don't f**king
Aug. 9, 1942
The United States and her Allies are on their heels in the Pacific. Japan is beginning to look invincible. From December until June, Japanese forces had over run Wake, Guam, the Philippines, Java, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Singapore, the Caroline Islands, the Marshall Islands and has landed in strength on New Guinea and the Solomon Islands.
Everything had been going Japan's way up until they were turned back at the Battle of the Coral Sea and were defeated soundly at Midway on Ju
Purgatory
It's a whole lot of nothing
Messing with your head.
It sure ain't living,
But it's not quite dead.
Your world is shattered,
All your dreams are dust.
You go through the motions,
But all things precious have turned to rust.
You want to die but you still live.
You pray for death with nothing left to give.
Nothing sacred, nothing lasts,
Nothing to hold on to present or past.
From this desolate place
You must find a reason to rejoin the human race
To rise and liv
Weezer!? Get's it?
I had to buy the CD to find out. It looks like they do.
I'm f-ing stunned. Depth. Awareness. Insight.
Just when I thought culture was dead something like this pops up.
Hash Pipe
I can
I'm leaving for parts unknown Friday and will be gone for a week.
No phones, no computer, no stress and no saving complete idiots from their own self-made impossible situations.
The last part I call work and I won't have to do any for 10 whole daze. Whoopie!
I dread what disasters the f**k-wits at work may cause while I'm gone but screw it.
That's how they know that I'm indispensable.
_____________________________
Look for my new story to launch in August.
Do I think that a zombie apocalypse is inevitable or even likely?
No. There is no fact or corollary of fact that can make the animation of dead tissue a reality. Maybe some sociopathic genius/moron is cooking up a 28 Days Later style virus in a lab but animated zombies just aren't going to happen.
So what lessons can this genre teach us?
Modern humans have been on this planet for ~60,000 years. This is a mere fly spec in comparison to the earth's age of 4.5 billion years. We have no
On Writing Horror by Mort Castle ISBN 978-1-58297-420-0 reading
I'm not sure if I buy everything in it, there are some interesting tips for writers interested in trying the waters.
Feed by Mira Grant ISBN 978-0-316-08105-4
Set 25 years after a zombie apocalypse was unleashed by some well meaning but dip-shit scientists, the world is much the same as it always was. This novel tells the story of some young and idealistic and cynical young journalists covering a presidential cam
