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Camy's Blog

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About this blog

- angst ridden clappletrapple -

Entries in this blog

Advice, please!

I haven't blogged in an age and a half - at least here. That's one of the problems with blogs. They're almost too easy to set up.   I'm trying to decide quite how 'out' I want to be. What I mean is that 'Camy' is obviously a pen name/pseudonym - and one I'm very happy with, and proud of.   I picked it on the spur of the moment when I signed up at GA, just over a year ago. I'm known as Camy everywhere I go within the confines of 'gay writing'. However Camy is not me. Camy is the me that came

Camy

Camy

Bah Humbug

This Christmas malarkey is getting on my tits.   Perpetual adverts cozening us to buy 'must have' crap we can't really afford, offset by the occasional program telling us that personal debt in the UK is out of control, and that 'The Samaritans' are overwhelmed.   Now don't get me wrong, I like having a good time with the best of them. I'm all up for going wild and crazy, and apart from being possibly (but not probably) wiser, 'cause I'm longer in the teeth than some, I'm still a big kid. But

Camy

Camy

NaNoWriMo 'n' things.

I haven't blogged in ages, which is probably just as well. Much too much I don't want to talk about. However the update to the GA software deserves a mention, even if it's only to thank all those who work behind the scenes.   I'm taking part in this years NaNoWriMo, which for those of you who don't know, is writing a 50,000 word 'novel' in a month. I was going to do it in secret, but if I do that I'll probably never finish it. So I'm 'outing' myself and thus have to finish it... see the logic?

Camy

Camy

Life

Real life is being a miserable bitch at the moment. Details are somewhat unimportant, and I'm thinking that's just the way the universe works: but hey, give me a break already.   There are two places I get respite. One is here, and the other is when I'm with Mick. When I'm with him the world can happily go to hell - the power of love is amazing!   I'm good at compartmentalising (that's a word and a half) and GA is one place I can escape to ... lucky I can't 'jack in' a la Matrix. I'd be qu

Camy

Camy

What's good for the Gander - Busted.

I was Driving along in my old heap with Mick next to me, and there's a cute guy walking along the pavement, and I'm about to look - then realise it could be a bad move - so I don't, BUT he's caught me.   Beetroot isn't adequate. There isn't a definition for the colour I went.   It suddenly struck me that complete fidelity in a relationship is hugely important. I knew it, but not until that very second did I equate it with my own relationship.   We've had a lot of conversations since that f

Camy

Camy

HP - a cyanic rant

I've got a printer. It's an SRA3 four colour HP inkjet, and the replacement cartridges - you need 4 - are hellish expensive. So when the local cheapo German supermarket - they might be sixty years late but they're finally beginning to win - start selling 'do it yourself' refill packs I thought 'Ah Ha!'   Bad move. HP printers have a chip that denies you this privilege. So I hunt on Google for a way around it. No problem ... thin strip of plastic to kill the printer's battery also renders the c

Camy

Camy

Yay! Finally

Jenson Button has won the F1 Hungarian Grand Prix   Formula One is the only sport I follow with any interest. Football (soccer) - Na. Boring. Kicking an inflated pigs bladder around a pitch for ninety minutes is not my bag. Cricket likewise. Tennis is great to play, but on TV nope. etc, etc. BUT ... F1 Rocks! deja vu - apologies if I've said this before, but honestly I can't be arsed to check, and anyway this is my blog, and 'streams of drivel' are permissible.   So today Jenson Button, an E

Camy

Camy

It was the 1st of August.

I have so much I want to say and don't really know where to begin. I'm tired, though that's understandable as it's nearly 3 am. It normally is, I just can't seem to get to bed any earlier. Hmm. I'm still on the high that started when I bared my soul to M, and that's good too, even though real life has a nasty habit of getting in the way it hasn't yet... Except his damn flat mate has returned.   Bills are my bug bear at present, and not the avian variety. Like most people I'm inordinately good

Camy

Camy

Post Seduction Thank you's

I can only hope this euphoria is going to last, and last and last and last, though realistically I know it won't and like any couple (ooh ... I like that word - Couple ) we'll have our ups and downs.   I should explain that he and I had a 'fling' a while ago when I was too young (early 20's) to truly understand what love was. I thought it was another word for sex, and the profound deeper emotional levels escaped me. Back then when he said 'I love you' I thought 'great', replied "I love you to

Camy

Camy

The seduction - complete

OK so this is the way it happened...   Saturday to Wednesday: Nervous as hell and wussed out. Decided everything was ok as it was

Camy

Camy

The seduction - pt2

I've spent every available minute since Sunday in his company, musically we used to work together a lot, and if all else fails we've recaptured that, and our creative relationship is better in every way ... which is great, but still not where I want to be.   This week has been intense from every point of view. I haven't wussed as yet, but either my brain freezes as I open my mouth, or he looks at me and asks me if I'm alright. Which mentally I'm not. I'm standing on a small rock floating in sp

Camy

Camy

The seduction - pt1

His arsehole flatmate's gone away for a week! and the coast is finally clear...   So today we went and 'did' a car boot sale. I don't know if 'car boot sales' are particularly English, but basically you pack all the rubbish you should really throw away, into the car, drive to a large field with other 'car booters' and sell it to some really nice idiots.   It was blazingly hot, so I took off my T-shirt and tarted around I think it worked... He would have to be blind and stupid not to have

Camy

Camy

girded loins

This coming week will result in either one overjoyed guy, or someone who can move on with his life. I know which result I want, but I'm actually prepared for both eventualities ... so I'm a damn liar, but pragmatic.   I was wondering how to start, then I read this in

Camy

Camy

weekend 'n' things

My Anthology entry has been given the green light by Kitty, which started the weekend off on a good note, then one of the four cats, Percy, brought in a shrew.   Percy is waay cool, 'cause he brings mice and shrews in unharmed to 'present' as his contribution to the housekeeping ... which is ok provided Cody isn't around. Cody doesn't give a stuff about handing over live food, for the benefit of all, she'd far rather eat it ... whatever it is. So they have a fight, and the poor mouse is cower

Camy

Camy

Taking for granted

I was working on the computer this afternoon when the power goes out. Annoying. But what's more annoying and downright worrying is the fact that everything I do, be it work or play, requires power... minds out of gutter please.   I have a deadline for artwork - can't complete it no computer. I could hand write a story, but since computers my handwriting is shot. No TV, no kettle - so no coffee, etc, etc. BAD NEWS!   Finally I went for a walk in the woods. It was just fantastic. Gotta

Camy

Camy

Idiots, Cats and things in between

I'm presently putting together a small 'parochial' magazine for a total bunch of idiots. I sooo want to tell them what I think, and I can't 'cause I'd get fired. Talk about frustrating. Keeping my trap shut has always been hard, though I generally don't find myself in a position where it's a problem. Except for these W***ers. Grr.   My car is on the way out. I always drive clapped out wrecks, much though I'd like a Porche or a..... Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah. Anyway I paid

Camy

Camy

Happy 4th of July!

Congratulations to the USA, you've been independent now for 230 years... How's it going?   Apparently I have ancestors who founded the state of Maryland ... which is nice. One day we'll be coming back to reclaim our 'lost estates', and run the place they way it should be run. Tea at 4pm will be mandatory, along with pith helmets, harris tweed and cricket.   Until then have fun!   Camy   Wikipedia says...

Camy

Camy

Love life of a wuss

ok so there isn't any just yet...   However!... On the 21st, Mick's flatmate (who I loath, though for no particular reason except he's his flatmate - though he is really, REALLY irritating) is going away to France for a week, leaving him on his own. So I'm going to use the time to find out one way or another. Done deal. As people* have said so eloquently, I have to GROW A SET AND TELL HIM OR YOU'RE GONNA REGRET IT! and on the morning of the 22nd they will be fully grown --- It's really h

Camy

Camy

Anthology & things

I've finally sent my anthology entry in, and I feel like I've just finished a marathon. I don't know who said writing is supposed to be relaxing, but whoever they are, they're mad. Or perhaps the writing is relaxing and the deadline is what gets my heart pounding at 300bps. Dunno, and honestly I don't care now, 'cause it's in and all is well with the world...   Except that England have been knocked out of the world cup by Portugal. This is a pain. Probably some sort of global karmic retributi

Camy

Camy

Mid Summer Blues

I get really depressed for a couple of days each side of mid summer. Don't get me wrong, I love summer, the long seemingly endless days ... it's just now the days are getting shorter, and we're heading slowly downhill into winter... and I loath winter: especially in the UK. Snow I like a lot, but cold drizzle, cutting winds and bugger all daylight - at least when I get up. You can keep winter. Oh, and it's true: The grass is always greener elsewhere.   I'm working on an entry for the 'Summer A

Camy

Camy

Checking in

Since this is a community of which I am a member I thought I ought to just check in to say hi. Kinda like punching the clock at work, or whatever it is you do to let people know you're still alive.   I should be writing my entry for the summer anthology, but it's far easier to spout off here. I don't have to think of things like... plot, or dialogue - would character A really have said what he said to character B, or are they just as insane as I am.   Hey ho... Taps fingers nervously.   Da

Camy

Camy

The Traveller

I'm reading 'The Traveller' by John Twelve Hawks. Fantastically frighteningly plausible.   The concept is similar to 'The Matrix' in that he world is having the wool pulled over its eyes, this time by 'the Brethren' who are in control. Our world is one of many planes of existence, and only travellers can move between them. They are initially trained by 'Pathfinders' and protected by 'Harlequins'.   The methods of control cited by Twelve Hawks are all real as I write, except that some are sli

Camy

Camy

The Cats who rule

Katy and Cody who's off on a mission.   Percy and Katy sun worshipers extrordinaire.   Katy in her most favourite spot.   Put a box down anywhere and Percy will sit in it. A lot.

Camy

Camy

Relationships - nothing stranger

I've often thought that therapy would be wonderful. To be able to sit down and spout about all the angsty bollocks I'm going through to a total stranger ... then I'd guess you're told you need to go back, and back, and then it becomes addictive, and you need your therapy hit.   Anyhow, I've never been (except to a child psychologist, and "they're different dear"). Can't afford it for one, and I have here. My GA blog. The bestest thing since sliced bread.   So. On to relationships, and more p

Camy

Camy

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