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Life after Death

I'm not entirely sure why, but until now, I had decided to drop off the radar (in terms of this site). I was going through a really bad time in my life, which I hope I never have to repeat. I think I've learned from my mistakes--and yata yata.   It always perplexed me that I never really got that close with anyone through this site. I'm sure it was due to preoccupation/lack of effort on my part, but yeah...I guess I'm going to try again.   Hope everyone (who I knew briefly) is doing well,

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A Shadow of My Former Self

Jonathan has abandoned me. After a week of not talking, I emailed him this:   ---------------------------------------------- I always wondered what I would say to my best friend when I graduated high school. I mean I figured, maybe I could somehow turn it into a happy thing

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Future

People always say, "Don't worry, things will get better...blah blah blah." What these people don't understand is the future is just that the future. Not predictable, not controlable (although I've tried)....   Lately, my depression is getting worse. Jonathan has purposely not talked to me in three days--even though he had plenty of opportunities today and I txted him and KNOW for a fact that he has his cell phone, because I saw him with it today.   The Situation with Max just gets worse.

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Life

Hey- Thanks for all the comments guys, I really appriciate it. Max and the girl he likes are getting closer...I have to say, its hard, when I see them together to just pull back and get out of earshot so I'm not being intrusive. \   Today, the girl he likes, who I thought was angry at me, talked to me, (we used to be pretty good friends before Jon pretty much took the friendship), and thought that I would be really pissed at her.   I really want him to be happy, but its hell watching them

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Max

Sigh, lessee....   A long time ago, Max told me (I was the first to know) about the girl that he likes. As time passed, he explained that he was trying to push it down and not deal with it. I, however, was sitting on the side-lines in a little bit of an awkward position--listening to my crush talk about his crush, on a girl. So time passes, I get closer to Max, a little bit ago, we went to the mall with friends, and i sat alone next to him in the movie theater. Basically, this, and spendin

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Bipolar.

Tonight was awesome. This AIM conversation explains why: [10:23:33 PM] AP Conflagrant: um well alexa, alicia, and me went to the mall (and we werent sure of max was coming) [10:23:39 PM] AP Conflagrant: so we ate dinner and had fun [10:23:40 PM] AP Conflagrant: then [10:23:44 PM] AP Conflagrant: max came [10:23:52 PM] AP Conflagrant: we went to starbucks [10:24:00 PM] AP Conflagrant: and then we got to the movie late [10:24:06 PM] AP Conflagrant: so ther were only pairs of seats [10:24

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---

Ive managed to piss Max off TWICE in the span of 10 hours....

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Life Rox

I feel better than I have in a really long time....maybe ever   Life is really going well, i knew certain things in my life were good (like the degree of acceptance towards my sexuality), but it seems everything is going in my favor now.   Tomorrow, I am going to Max's house. Today was a little weird, because he didn't get home until like 10:45, so I didn't know whether I was going or not. Happily, it turned out in my favor.   One of my friends, who I've been talking to more lately, see

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Max

OK, today was...interesting.   First, my parents found a thing I had written a little while back about depression and suicide--lets just say it was vivid. Apparently, my dad found it and faxed it to my mom, and they both came down early because they were worried. Long story short--they had an "intervention." Everything went well though.   More importantly, I came out to Max today   Seriously, I thought I had gotten good reactions before, but his is by far the best. So he (ironically)

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Birthdays and such

Hi y'all-thanks for wishing me a happy birthday   Jon slept over from sat to just nowish when my dad and I brought him home.   Materialistically-I got an iPod, a new fan, a pen (its a thing between my parents and me-milestone=pen), and iPod accessories   Mentally-My dad has realized he's been kinda distant and is attempting to fix that (I came out to him--apparently he "thought" he was gay when he was my age--so i had a helluva time explaining that one   Overall, considering that I've b

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Depression and Suicide

Hey y'all, thanks for all the comments, but I've got to explain things a little better....   First off, Max is not gay...I am literally 99% positive   Second, I am not the type of person who just goes up to someone and hugs them, in fact, I have very little contact with other people in general, so just going up to him to hug him would have been a very bad idea.   Currently, I am content with (hopefully) becoming really good friends with Max.   Now the bad part, for the last (give or take

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Ups and Downs of Life

I am officially comparing life to a yo-yo. (not that I didn't already know this analogy is a good one)   I talked to Max again tonight and have now lost all hope that he's gay (he was talking to me about his crush, who is a girl at our school--this was a little bit awkward, but I think I did okay). I will now be content if we just become really good friends, which I hope we do.   Oh, I almost forgot---check out these two links:   (1) the word of the day yesterday: http://dictionary.refere

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Dreams suck....

Today was not fun......   Max didn't mention anything about the conversation yesterday, thus giving me no hug . He also didn't "make plans" to come over like he said he would, nor did I get to talk to him at lunch, because he played chess (which I watched).   I also almost (might have) gotten my first two demerits today (I am one of those people to whom that kind of thing really matters) for talking in class....one of which was to Max.   My depression came back full swing and I did almos

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Can the impossible happen?

Hey guys!!   So a bunch has happened since my last blog entry--and most of it has to do with my crush   Yesterday (he kids around a lot) he was telling me on AIM (and I quote) [09:11:31 PM] Max: u r funnie man [09:11:38 PM] AP Conflagrant: um ok? [09:11:54 PM] Max: hehe [09:12:03 PM] AP Conflagrant: hehe to u too? [09:12:21 PM] Max: =D [09:12:26 PM] Max: i lub yuu [09:13:52 PM] AP Conflagrant: um...ok [09:14:05 PM] Max: COOL [09:14:14 PM] AP Conflagrant: cool? [09:14:19 PM] Max: a

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day of silence

Another short entry because I have hebrew school in like 5 minutes .   First off, I didn't go to school today, because I've been getting progressively more tired and more tired and today (after going to sleep at 7 PM the night before), I was still exhausted and DEFINITELY not in the condition to take a test and two quizzes. It was a nice day off-sleep sleep sleep   About 10 minutes ago, one of my friends in GSA imed me today and asked if I was going to participate in the day of silence (t

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Stories and stuff

Ok, so stuff worked out , nobody is angry at me anymore.   This is going to be a short entry because I have to study like crazy for a chem test and a french test , but I wanted to do a quick update on my story.   I am now officially an author on GA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   The story I am writing, Incomplete Existence, can now be found on my website:   http://adam.obproject.com   Or on eFiction...   http://www.gayauthors.org/eficiton/index.php     That's all for now,

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Incomplete Existence

Hi all. Okay so my previous blog entries haven't gotten much response, but I guess that is because of the lack of things I had to say, but today I have stuff.   First, every week my AP European History teacher, who is probably the worst teacher I have ever had starts a new chapter by making all of us fill out these insane study guides and take notes on a 30-40 page chapter. The study guide does no good, because the questions don't make sense and the notes are just a pain. A while ago, we re

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Stories and More Coming Out

Ok, so I wrote more of my story today and decided to put a little of it here just to see what the reaction will be, so heres the beginning:   --------------------------------- I hate airplanes. I mean they are boring, you always end up where you started, and the flight attendants are always complete bitches. Seriously

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Hello everyone :)

Ok, so I've been reading stories on this site for about a year and I recently started posting (very little). In the last two days, I finally figured out exactly the way that I wanted to write a story. It's going to take a while, but it will be up eventually.   So, a little about myself. My name is Adam and I'm 15 (but my birthday is in like 8 days). Recently (within a year), I have figured out (for sure ) that I am gay. I had a period where I completely dismissed any thoughts about being

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